...oneness...

~ The Magic Keys ~

2012-02-05T18:54:00.004+08:00

Have the courage to say no.
Have the courage to face the truth.
Do the right thing because it is right.
These are the magic keys
to living your life with integrity.

~ Fear ~

2012-02-02T08:45:00.002+08:00

A young man came to a shaykh and said..., “I am a young man with strong desires. I cannot help looking at people when I am in the bazaar(market). What do I do?”

The shaykh handed him a cup of milk that was full to the brim, and told him to deliver it to an address that would take the young man directly through the bazaar (market). He then instructed the young man that the milk should not spill, and the man said that it would not. The shaykh then summoned one of his students and told him to accompany the man through the bazaar to the destination, and to severely beat him if any milk were to spill.

This man successfully took the milk to the destination and returned to give the good news to the shaykh. The shaykh asked, “Tell me, how many sights and faces did you see in the bazaar?” The man replied incredulously, “Sheik, I didn’t even realize what was going on around me. I was only fearful of the beating and disgrace that I would have to endure in public if a drop of milk were to spill.”

The shaykh smiled and said, “It is the same with a believer. The believer fears that Allah may disgrace him in front of the entire creation on the Day of Judgment if his faith were to spill over from his heart.” Such people save themselves from sin because they constantly remain focused on the Day of Judgment !

Fear of ALLAH SWT is the best thing what a servant (of ALLAH) can take as a provision for the goodness of his Deen (way of life). ALLAH SWT states,

“And take provisions, but indeed, the best provision is fear (of ALLAH)” [Baqarah 2: 197]. No good deed is acceptable except that which is a result of Taqwa.

ALLAH says: “But righteousness is (in) one who fears (ALLAH)” [Baqarah 2:189].

~ The Uncertainty of Certainty ~

2012-02-01T01:34:00.002+08:00

1. If you're sure you're right, you're probably wrong.

2. What one needs to believe is precisely what one needs not to believe.

3. Certainty is a wall one erects around doubt. The stronger the doubt, the stronger the wall.

4. The most consistent source of error is not ignorance but knowledge.

5. What we know is like a flashlight on a moonless night -- essential for getting around. But often it is better to turn the flashlight off and let our eyes get used to the dark.

~ Afraid ~

2012-01-19T12:59:00.004+08:00

Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you're trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of.
Sleep, even when you're afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can't run any more.
Love, even when you have been hurt many times

And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience---you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric.

What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day.

So don't live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.

~ Hurting inside ~

2012-01-14T00:51:00.005+08:00

Our lives can often be difficult, harsh and unkind...
dealing with highly emotional situations, unable to unwind.

When we are hurting inside our pain is much more intense,
there are no medications to get some relief,
overly active minds, unable to relax, another night without sleep.

Desperately, searching for a solution, all we can draw are blank...
becoming frustrated, falling in too deep.

Try not to be too hard on yourself and allow a rapid decline.
Many of us have been there and nearly crossed the invisible line.

There is always hope, even when our lives are crumbling in a state of decay.
Pry open the door of hope and let some sunlight in...
the emotional pain lessens at the start of a new day.

Reach out to positive people and listen to what they say.....
we all deserve to be happy and enjoy every new day.

~ Gifts ~

2012-01-03T01:59:00.003+08:00

We cannot give what we do not have
We cannot bring peace to the world if we ourselves are not peaceful.
We cannot bring love to the world if we ourselves are not loving.
Our true gifts to ourselves and others lies not in what we have
but...... in who we are !

~ A Beauty of Life ~

2012-01-01T00:34:00.004+08:00

The Beauty of life I miss when my thoughts race in an unsteady haste
Is worrying about problems the solution or is it only that I am making waste?

Taking what I have for granted instead of appreciating the good in life that awaits

Do I not take notice of the kindness others show or do I dwell on past experiences that arise which bring about the hates

Life is too short not to have fun and experience the joy of giving and sharing one's self as I awake to a brand new day

To overcome the small unimportant problems or worries that mount because of the lack of not understanding one's inner self and not applying one's faith by turning and running away

I look around and see what's before me and come to notice I have a choice either to live life to the fullest or watch it go by

Life is what you make of it and how you perceive yourself by making positive choices and decisions that you will remember and know as your time has passed that you will not have to ask yourself why?

Struggles and challenges of making a living and caring for one's self and loved ones is what most of us live for

It's the determination to make our lives more meaningful and happy as difficult as this is to achieve when we fall short of our expectations and cry out in silence of wanting more

I am a person who accepts the good with bad and glad I am healthy and alive to be able to view life as the person who I am without regret or sorrow

I live for today to know my horizon can be reached for it is my tomorrow

~ Enriching Thoughts ~

2011-12-28T01:34:00.001+08:00

The highest aim in life - To know God and do His will

The most enriching good habit - Complimenting others

The most destructive bad habit - Worry

The greatest joy - Giving

The greatest loss - Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work - Helping others

The ugliest personality trait - Selfishness

The most endangered species - Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource - Our youth

The ugliest look - A frown

The greatest "shot in the arm" - Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome - Fear

The most effective sleeping pill - Peace of mind

The most crippling failure disease - Excuses

The most powerful forces in life - Love

The most dangerous piranha - A gossiper

The Greatest Life-Giver - The Creator

The worlds most incredible computer - The brain

The worst thing to be without - Hope

The deadliest weapon - The tongue

The two most power-filled words - "I Can"

The greatest asset - Faith

The most worthless emotion - Self-pity

The most beautiful attire - A SMILE!

The most prized possession - Self esteem

The most powerful channel of communication - Prayer

The most contagious spirit - Enthusiasm

~ A Heart Full Of Love ~

2011-12-28T00:57:00.002+08:00

~ A Heart Full Of Love ~

* Anyone who is willing to listen can hear what is being said, even if no words are being spoken.

* Just how high can the human heart rise, in a world so full of uncaring eyes. Where animals suffer and children die and people fight wars without even knowing why. Where alcohol and drugs cause wasted lives, and shelters are full of unwed mothers and battered wives.

But should the day come that man learns to care,and wants to no longer just take, but also to share. And he learns that everything has the right to live, and life is not something he can take, but can not give. When he learns to approach life with a heart full of love, for everything on earth and in the heavens above. When he learns to do these things he will have opened the door, to knowing just how high, the human heart can soar.

* I've been touched by the morning sun that chases the night away, and I've been touched by the gentle words that love-struck poets say. And I've been touched by the morning mist everyone calls the dew, but it all seems more beautiful now that I've been touched by you.

* The pain we feel when someone leaves our life is in direct proportion to the joy they bring while a part of our life.

* In every relationship there is a chance of getting hurt, but once we've known the joy of holding another close, we realize thats a chance we just have to take.

* We should do everything within reason to save a good relationship. But if we are constantly trying to save it, it's probably not a good relationship.

* When you truly know the meaning of the word love, you will also know the meaning of the word pain.

* I've often wondered and racked my brain, but I guess I'll never know, why one person looks and sees the rain, while another is seeing a rainbow.

* In our language we have two words; solitude and loneliness. Solitude is being alone, without thinking about being alone.
While loneliness is being alone, and being aware that your alone.

~ Life Is All Just But A Game ~

2011-12-08T01:05:00.005+08:00

We have always been told not to treat life as a game and that we have to be serious about it. Yes, I totally agree on that but agreeing that we should be serious in our game. There is nothing wrong with treating life as a game as long as you play it seriously. In fact if you were to give it some serious thoughts, life can indeed be just like a game. Perhaps, let us define what makes a game, a game.

I should believe that you have personally played before, a variety of different games? Some would have been fun and amusing while some boring. But be they however entertaining or not, all the games you have played eventually lead to an ending didn't they? It was an either win or loses, or maybe even a draw for some. That's life! Just as like a game, all our actions in life will lead to a certain outcome too. I should believe that you have heard of the saying, you can either be a winner or a loser in life? And I am sure you would want to be a winner in life?

Now, what matters is how you are going to play this game of yours, your very own game of life. And for your information, your game has already begun. What is the key to winning a game? The key to winning a game is always to understand the objective of the game well. It is only when you are clear about the objective will you know how to go about playing the game?

And what should the objective of your game be? It is for you to decide. Remember. This is yours very own game, your very own life. Before this game can proceed, you have to first get your objective right, knowing clearly what you want for yourself in life. There is not point rushing into the game. Without a clear objective, you will probably end up wasting your precious time losing the very whole game. Lay down your objectives first and then you are ready to start your game. Next, would be to work out some wise strategies.

First: Get to understand the strength of you, yourself (the key player) Now, everyone is bound to be strong and weak in certain areas. Ask yourself what are you good in and what are you weak in? Attack the game in those areas you are strong in and avoid those where you are weak at.

Second: Build up a strong ally or team. In this game, you are bound to meet many other different players. And remember, some are there to help you while some are there to harm and to put you down. Choose wisely the partners who can help you, especially in the areas you are weak in. Your unique strengths plus theirs will make up the whole and together this will be a strong team. To form a soccer team, you will need at least eleven players each with their specialty, isn't it? Understand this. You can never rule this world alone.

Third: Plan your attack. Once you get the foundation right, clearly knowing the strength and weakness of yourself and the players around you, plan your moves accordingly. Decide on a plan that best suits you and your fellow team players; a plan that is within the capability of everyone. No point having the best of plans when there is no one to execute it.

Finally: Take actions! Paper talk no matter how excellent the plan is won't get you anywhere without real physical actions.

Many have great ideas, some of which are indeed excellent but lack the drive and the courage to execute them; to put them into real actions. And why is this so? Because they are still unclear of their objectives in life. They didn't clearly understand themselves, failing to find out what they want in life.

Remember. In this game of life, there is never a predetermined ending. What will be the outcome of the game? Nobody knows. And in this game of life, there is never a fixed rule to how you are going to play it. But understand this. For all games that exist in this world, there is one ultimate rule: If you are not going to play, you can never win. That's life! If you never give yourself the chance to try, how will you ever know what will just come next? Without some real physical actions, you won't get anywhere in this game. In life, if you are not going to take any actions to work towards your objective, nothing will ever happen.

But as the word game imply, it mean winning is certainly achievable. Understand the game well, play it smartly and the chances of winning will be there. And remember. This game of life will only end when you decided to give up. Though you may fail at times during this game but this game of life is not going to end on you unless you give up on yourself. Remember. The law of Nature states that for all that exist in this world there is always the equal and opposite side to them. When there can be failure, there can also be victory too. Don't give up without even trying.

Give It Some Thoughts ~

2011-12-05T15:17:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we LoVe we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who LoVe us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to been slaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds not for the man of words , for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you LoVe but the man who LoVes you more.

The best LoVers are those who are capable of LoVing from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the LoVe deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop LoVing, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith and never allow pain to dishearten you ............ but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may found peace in just LoVing someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace & happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you LoVe What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me.... you would be better off giving that dedication and LoVe ... to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow:

If you lose LoVe that doesn't mean that you failed in LoVe. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday ..... LoVe will find its way back to you ........... when it does, pray that it may be the LoVe ...... that will stay and last a lifetime. ...........

~ The Expression Of Love.......... ~

2011-12-02T10:45:00.003+08:00

Love is a feeling that we experience in so many different ways toward various people. Love is the ultimate expression of our divinity. It is a way of showing tenderness to our children and passion to our lover. Love is an emotion that hold the power to heal and strengthen the physical and emotional body.

There have been times that I have expressed deep love and have been hurt. I have never regretted showing love, however, there is a certain level of expectation that it will be reciprocated by the beloved. I have also found love to be the foundation to allow relationships and people to blossom. Just spending time in nature brings me the feeling of overwhelming love and sacredness.

I think many of us feel safe showering our pets and children with love. At least the pets give it back to us with complete unconditionality. Our children go through phases where love is taken for granted. I often experience the overwhelming fullness of love for those that I care deeply about.

Once we allow our hearts to open and reveal the full expression of love it comes with great risk. We have hopes and expectations. We want it to be reciprocated and valued. When we choose to risk our hearts, we take a chance of being hurt or rejected. If we don't risk anything, what is the alternative? Remaining numb and safe.

Love has the power to heal, and, transform. Every expression of love carries in it the seeds of possibilities. When we nurture and honor love it has the ability to lift us up and give us hope, tenderness and affection. Without love we miss out on so much.

So why do we at times reject love? When an opportunity to give or receive love presents itself why do we shut down and hide? It seems that for many of us past experiences can hinder our ability to take a chance. Fear can envelop us to the point that it doesn't seem worth it to take the risk.

I know sometimes love comes with strings attached. It can be smothering, suffocating, controlling and needy. It can carry some all consuming fears if we have been hurt, betrayed, abandoned, rejected, or violated in the past. It can leave us rejecting the very idea of it's implications.

What about self love? Can we love ourselves unconditionally? Can we accept our own flaws and expect others to love us when we cannot love ourselves? What if we are not at our ideal weight? What if we have made mistakes? Can we forgive ourselves? Will others forgive us? What if we're not exactly where we want to be in our lives? Do we still deserve to give and receive love then?

What if we didn't receive the right kind of love from our parents or family? Can another person love us any better? Can we chance experiencing love when there holds the possibility that it may suddenly leave or be taken from us? If we haven't had healthy, safe, and secure love modeled for us we might not know what it should even look or be like.

Fear holds us back, when we are not living in the present moment as the full, unhindered expression of love. It can grow when it doesn't reference the past and how it once was. It can be experienced when it doesn't project into the future as to what it will be. Will love turn out exactly like we want it to? And if it doesn't, is it still worth feeling the love now?

If we can allow ourselves to love our partners, children, pets, parents and friends. If we can deeply and completely love and accept ourselves. If we can fully open our hearts to the full expression of love in all its beauty and forms, how do you think our lives will transform?

Sending you unconditional love and many blessings.....

(Prayer)

Yaa Rabb .......

I have so much love in my heart. Sometimes I experience fear in expressing my feelings of love in fear of rejection and abandonment. Sometimes I fear expressing my feelings of love for fear that it won't turn out the way I want it to. Sometimes, God, I just fear. So I ask that all the fear may removed and transmuted. May only love remain.

There are those that I love that I don't know how to express and show my true love for. There are those that I feel love for that don't reciprocate my feelings. And then, gratefully, there are those giving and receiving love flows easily and naturally.

I accept all types of love. Unconditionally. I know that the expression of love is all that matters. On a higher level those who I send my love to, receive it. I feel the love returned to me ten-thousand fold.

So, God, I humble myself to you in this moment. I ask that you assist me in opening my heart to even greater levels. Show me how I can be a full expression of love in all ways, always. With pure intent....

And so it is.

Amen.

~ Know Yourself ~

2011-12-01T18:42:00.002+08:00

Every one of us has strengths ... and weaknesses. Sometimes we have difficulty identifying our strengths, because we often feel calling out our good points is bragging, or we feel others might feel we're full of ourselves ... but nothing is further from the truth. It's only after you truly learn your own personal strengths that you can begin to understand the value you can offer to this world. Once you realize where your strengths lie, you'll be surprised how your self-esteem will be enhanced and the confidence you have in yourself will be noticed by others, who will seek out your opinions and learn to draw upon your strengths!

By the same token, it's important to know that we all have weaknesses ... and once you've determined YOURS, you'll be better able to set your own limits. Knowing your weaknesses will also allow you to develop your own personal growth plan, which can be an excellent opportunity to learn new things and take on new challenges.

Things happen for a reason. When you understand the why, you gain control and effectiveness. Knowing why, and why not, will help you to avoid mistakes, and to create powerful strategies for excellence in all you do.

The world is full of opportunities to create value and wealth – and these opportunities come disguised as problems. Any problem is an opportunity to make an improvement. Problems and obstacles force you to focus your efforts toward a specific goal – solving the problem. Problems are a blessing, because when you solve them you grow as a person and you gain valuable experience.

You learn things that can allow you to help other people solve the same problem. If the problem you solve is big enough and widespread enough, the opportunity that creates could be enormous. Challenges and problems give you a chance to develop your resourcefulness. Problems are your opportunity to give it all you’ve got – to truly shine as a person.

Don’t become defensive, but strive to see the other person’s point of view. Respect the fact that criticism is a form of caring. If someone didn’t care, they would just say nothing at all. Realize that any criticism of your action does not reflect negatively on you as a person. Objectively consider the criticism of others, and you can learn from it.

The need to be right, the need to be comfortable, the need to control others, the need for security, and the need to possess, among other things. These things are elusive. Don’t need what you have – have what you need. If always you think in terms of needing what you have, then you will never have enough. Instead, think in terms of having what you need and you will always enjoy abundance.

~ Delight ~

2011-11-30T01:47:00.002+08:00

It is rewarding to find someone you like,
but it is essential to like yourself.

It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being,
but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.

It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love,
but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.

For you cannot live in someone else.
You cannot find yourself in someone else.
You cannot be given a life by someone else.
Of all the people you will know in a lifetime,
you are the only one you will never leave or lose.

To the question of your life, you are the only answer.
To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.

~ Finding Balance in Life ~

2011-11-29T08:10:00.004+08:00

Finding balance in life is a realistic and important goal. However, sometimes there are glitches and life feels out of control. When this happens it's usually because you are not getting your needs met or you are not aligned with your values. When you're out of integrity life feels out of balance.

Balance is a feeling derived from being whole and complete; it's a sense of harmony. It is essential to maintaining quality in life and work. Your life is made up of many vital areas including your health, family, financial, intellectual, social, work, spiritual, recreation, personal growth, romance and more. You won't necessarily spend time every day in each area in equal amounts, but if in the long run, you spend a sufficient quantity and quality of time in each area, your life will feel in balance. However, if you neglect any one area, never mind two or three, you will eventually sabotage your own success. Much like a table, if one leg is longer or shorter than the rest, it will make the entire table wobbly. For instance, if you don't take care of your health, your family and social life will suffer; if you put too much time into running your business, personal relationships and self care may suffer.

Living a balanced life is about integrating those components of your life that are truly important to you and realizing that sometimes you need to make choices about what has to come first. Making choices is powerful and allows you to live a balanced life that's aligned with what you value. By choosing what comes first, sometimes there are sacrifices. But living a balanced life doesn't require you to give 100 percent of yourself 100 percent of the time. There will be times when personal/family life and work collide but by knowing what's most important to you and making choices based on this criterion, you'll be better able to balance your decisions and feel whole.

1. Focus on your priorities. Concentrate your time and energy on your personal and professional priorities. Be willing to say "no" to everything else. Identify your values and align your life around what's truly most important to you.

2. Get organized. Create a structured plan each day rather than reacting to whatever comes up. Don't allow someone else's poor planning to become your emergency or priority. Plan ahead and anticipate your needs. Have back-up to handle your emergencies and a support network so that you are prepared with a contingency plan should the need arise. Arrange time in your schedule for other activities besides work so that your days are not only balanced, but rewarding.

3. Be flexible. Accept that needs will pop up that will require your readjustment and perhaps new choices. Forgive yourself when things don't get done. Stop striving for perfection and allow for more reasonable standards.

4. Create daily routines. Instill healthy habits into your daily life. Find ways to relax, relieve tension, and minimize stress. Allow time for self care by practicing daily journaling, meditation, exercise or some other form of quiet time just for you where you can go to reflect, plan, relax and envision your day ahead. Eat healthy meals, drink plenty of water, get adequate rest, and take care of your personal hygiene. Give yourself a break every once in awhile throughout the day to restore your natural state of harmony and calm and to rekindle your creativity. Structure your day to take advantage of your peak performance times.

5. Establish support networks. Be willing to ask for help and receive it. Enlist family, friends, neighbors, professionals, and others to help you as needed.

6. Simplify your life. Stop over-scheduling and over-committing. Begin eliminating things from your life that really aren't important to you. Being busy 24/7 doesn't mean that you are any more important than anyone else - it simply means that you are busy and probably missing out on the things that would really make you have more joy and fulfillment in your life. When your life is overcomplicated and overfull, there's little space for what truly matters. And there's no room for personal growth, positive energy, love, or even breathing at times.

Balance life can result from two actions. The first action is understanding and respecting each and every important aspect of your life. Changing your perspective in areas where you are stuck is the second.

~ Wasted Time ~

2011-11-20T08:04:00.001+08:00

Time is such a terrible thing to waste. We only get so much time to use each day and wasting even a few moments can keep us from being productive as possible. Each time we waste time, another moment to seize has slipped away that we will never get back. Think about that for a moment, there will never be another today. The date that slips by today will never come again. With that realization, should we not be making better use of our time?

All of this leads to an important question: how do people waste their time?

- People waste their time doing nothing :

There are many people who simply see their time slip away while they actually do absolutely nothing. One of the chronic nothing activities is sleeping late. Everyone does need sleep and maybe parents of newborn babies need even more. Getting enough sleep is essential for staying healthy, performing at peak levels and living a balanced life. However, there are some people who would sleep the day away without giving the matter much thought at all. Sleeping longer than you personally need is nothing but an absolute waste of time and time is precious.

- People waste their time doing things that do not matter :

Another area where people waste their time is doing things that do not matter. How much time is lost by people playing video games or other such mindless and meaningless activities? We are all guilty of rewarding ourselves with one game of Solitaire or Free Cell only to find we have wasted an hour playing the game. Video games offer nothing of value to the players or to anyone else for that matter. Find some more constructive use of time.

- People waste their time doing things they hate doing :

People also seem to habitually do things that they absolutely hate doing. This could be ongoing chores or even their job. While everyone needs a job and there are certain tasks that we have to do daily, there are some things to do to move beyond tasks that are disliked.

First, for chores that you dislike doing, find someone else who might be able to do the task for you. For example, mowing the lawn is a mindless task that must be done week in and week out. Paying a teenager to do the task might only cost a few bucks and frees up more of your valuable time. Second, for tasks at work, make sure to tackle those tasks first. The faster those tasks are faced and finished, the quicker a person can move on to better tasks.

- People waste their time talking instead of doing :

People talk a lot about things that they need or want to do but in the end never do anything. Take a few moments to stop talking about doing something and get after the task of getting it done. Talk accomplishes little or nothing until we are ready and willing to take action. Stop talking and start doing.

- People waste their time on selfishness :

People also waste a great deal of time on nothing but themselves. An excellent example is an addict. The addict focuses their efforts and time getting the item or thing they are craving. Some people are addicted to wasting time. They sleep late, they are never in a hurry to do anything worthwhile, and they are focused completely on their own personal wants and desires. These people rarely do anything for anyone else and waste their time.

Remember time is the fabric of life and when we waste time we are really just wasting our lives. Time is a gift that we are given with each new day. Twenty four brand new hours, 1440 priceless minutes and 86,400 seconds. All of this time will be spent but we chose the way that time is used. Are you investing your time or are you wasting your time?

~ Be Strong ~

2011-11-11T01:09:00.001+08:00

Never think hard about past, It brings tears.
Don't think more about future, It brings fears.
Live this moment with a smile, It brings cheers..

~ Searching .... Wondering ..... Surrender ...~

2011-11-06T05:21:00.004+08:00

" Whoever does not find happiness in the remembrance of Allah, prayer, and reciting the Qur'an, will not find it anywhere else " -Hasan Al Basri(rahimuallah)....

I hold to these words tightly and keep in my heart. To help me grow and stay alive .....

For years ... I'm trying to figure out .. what is missing in my life ! ....

Marriage is not easy ... further more being a second wife ... you have to sacrifice in order to survive .. you have to swallow whatever comes your way, coz you are the second wife ... no power .. you got to take all the blames ... no matter what.....

The impact for being in these circumstances ... drives me crazy ... enough is enough ...

For years, I hide all these suffering from my family and friends ... showed them the fake smile ....

When everything comes to the surface ... everybody asks me .. Why do I stay ? .. What take you so long ? ..

As a muslim woman .. I place Allah above everything else ... whatever actions or every words that I speak ..... I gave a deep thoughts before I proceed ... I fear Allah more than anything else ! ... I want to be a good woman !...

People can say mean and harsh things .... and you can rise above the nastiness. When you feel as though you are the only candle in the wilderness and everyone is trying to blow out your flame, and the one person who should protect the flame is also trying to blow it out, you lose confidence....

I’m not angry anymore. I just simply don’t care. I love my children, and don’t want to lose them. But, I don’t care about this person to whom I am tied for the rest of my life...... when he walked out the door ... I realize ... its the end of my journey with him ....

Life must goes on ... I surrender to you Allah ...

~ To All Lovers ~

2011-11-03T08:55:00.005+08:00

Love isn’t a romantic comedy. It’s hard work, having faith through difficult times, and the ability to look at your partner and know they’ll be there through it all. Relationships are no longer 50/50. Each person needs to give 100 percent of themselves to make it work. It is not all give and it is not all take.

Communication is so very important; it links the hearts of two together, making them understand what each other means. Without communication there is no relationship; without respect there is no love; without trust there is no reason to continue. Marriage is not always easy! You need to work through your ups and downs, love one another no matter what, make alone time, and remember you promised to COMMIT yourself to each other in front of your friends and family and to God. Making a relationship work is just that: work.

It’s easy to love somebody when everything is wonderful. The proof of someone’s love is that they still love you when everything is awful.

Love doesn’t make a marriage; it leads to marriage. Struggles, obstacles, determination, commitment, and loyalty: THAT’S what makes a marriage.

If we weren’t happy, we should have told our partner. It would have been painful to hear, but would have been better than the lies and embarrassment.

To those who are still searching for your “true” love remember this: don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Find the one that makes your heart smile, because that will never go away.

Love is like a butterfly. If you chase it, it only eludes you. But if you are patient it will eventually come rest on your shoulder. I guess that is the beauty of love. Love happens when you least expect it too. So always expect the unexpected and when it finds you, grab hold of it with both hands. The minute you let go is the minute you may never see it again.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind and soul.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that

~ Sacrifice ~

2011-10-10T15:29:00.004+08:00

When we think deeply about the problem of life, there is no path in the world, whether spiritual or material, which we can tread successfully without a sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice is great, and sometimes small; sometimes the sacrifice is made first, before achieving success, and sometimes afterwards.

As sacrifice is necessary in life, it is made by everyone in some form or other, but when it is made willingly, it turns into a virtue. The greater the ideal, the greater the sacrifice it demands, and if one studies wisely the process of advancement through life in any direction, one finds that it is nothing but a continual sacrifice.

Happiness comes from the understanding that this is the nature of life, and from not being hurt or troubled by it but knowing that it is by sacrifice, made until the end, that man attains to the desired goal.

~ Awareness ~

2011-10-04T23:44:00.003+08:00

Awareness ..........

Awareness is noticing the blessings that often get overlooked in our busy lives.
Gratitude for a special blessing can inspire us look further and discover even more good in our lives.
As we are inspired, let us also be inspiring to others.’

If we tend to see today as the same as any other day then we have lost our sense of awareness.
Yes there is a lot of repetition from day to day in many of the things we do,
but the blessings that today will bring will never be the same as the ones we had yesterday and tomorrow is an entirely different story. Busy lives and heavy working schedules can often put on the blinkers and our awareness of these blessings.

Can we pause when a special moment happens?
Can we hold it?
Can we allow it to inspire us?
........that every inspiring moment has its roots in God.

~ Anger ~

2011-10-02T03:41:00.002+08:00

Anger .....

Anger is like flowing water; there's nothing wrong with it as long as you let it flow.
Hate is like stagnant water; anger that you denied yourself the freedom to feel, the freedom to flow; water that you gathered in one place and left to forget.

Stagnant water becomes dirty, stinky, disease-ridden, poisonous, deadly; that is your hate.
On flowing water travels little paper boats; paper boats of forgiveness.
Allow yourself to feel anger, allow your waters to flow, along with all the paper boats of forgiveness.

Be human.

Anger is an essential part of being human. People are taught to deny themselves anger, and in this, they are actually opening themselves up to hate. The more you deny yourself the freedom to be angry, the more you will hate.

Let yourself be angry, and hate will disintegrate, and when hate disintegrates, forgiveness prevails! The more you deny that you are angry, in attempts to be "holy" the more inhuman you will become, and the more inhuman you will become, the harder it will be to forgive.

~ An Appointment ~

2011-10-01T07:13:00.001+08:00

Carl Jung was a world famous psychologist who studied human behaviour at great length and shared many thoughts on why people do certain things. Many people made appointments to see him.

One day a wealthy lady phoned him to request an urgent appointment the next day at 3 pm. He said it wouldn’t be possible because he was committed to an important appointment at that time. The following day the same lady happened to be in a boat sailing past his garden which led down to the shore of the Lake of Zurich. There she could see him, sitting on a low wall with his shoes and socks off, dangling his feet in the water.

She was angry that he had lied to her and that he had no appointment at all. She arrived home and rang him straight away: “You said you couldn’t see me because you had a very important engagement. But I just saw you now doing nothing and sitting on the shore of the lake by yourself.”

He replied: “I told you no lie. I had an appointment. It has been the most important appointment of the week, an appointment with myself.

~ Understanding ~

2011-09-27T18:14:00.001+08:00

How many times have you tried to talk to someone about something that matters to you, tried to get them to see it the way you do?
And how many of those times have ended with you feeling bitter, resenting them for making you feel like your pain doesn't have any substance after all?

Like when you've split up with someone, and you try to communicate the way you feel, because you need to say the words, need to feel that somebody understands just how pissed off and frightened you feel.

The problem is, they never do. "Plenty more fish in the sea," they'll say, or "You're better off without them," or "Do you want some of these potato chips?" They never really understand, because they haven't been there, every day, every hour.

They don't know the way things have been, the way that it's made you, the way it has structured your world. They'll never realise that someone who makes you feel bad may be the person you need most in the world.

They don't understand the history, the background, don't know the pillars of memory that hold you up. Ultimately, they don't know you well enough, and they never can.

Everyone's alone in their world, because everybody's life is different. You can send people letters, and show them photos, but they can never come to visit where you live.

~ Reality ~

2011-09-15T17:58:00.004+08:00

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all.
People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit.
Love hurts.
Feelings are disturbing.

People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.
How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel?
Pain is meant to wake us up.
People try to hide their pain.
But they’re wrong.

Pain is something to carry
You feel your strength in the experience of pain.
It’s all in how you carry it.
That’s what matters.

Pain is a feeling.
Your feelings are a part of you.
Your own reality.

If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality.
You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

― Jim Morrison

~ Emotion ~

2011-09-11T15:00:00.006+08:00

You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless.
You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinion of you are correct.
If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him.
Don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.'
Especially when you put it with somebody you love.

Love shouldn't be like that.
Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain?
They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds.
But you know what?
You go up top and what do you see?
His head. The clouds never cover the head.
His head pokes through, because the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up.
They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him.

You can't own a human being.
You can't lose what you don't own.
Suppose you did own him.
Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you?
You really want somebody like that?
Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door?
You don't, do you? And neither does he.
You're turning over your whole life to him.
Your whole life, girl.
And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him?

He can't value you more than you value yourself ......."

— Toni Morrison

~ Excuses ~

2011-09-07T07:27:00.003+08:00

Why Do We Make Excuses?

If you are someone who is a habitual excuse maker it might be a good idea to ask yourself why you deliberately choose to be less than truthful. Do you fear the scrutiny of friends, family, or coworkers? Are you uncomfortable with opening yourself up to others? Sometimes, making up a lame excuse to avoid attending a social event is done for self-preservation. Are you afraid your attendance would make you feel inadequate, vulnerable, or foolish?

Are your excuses meant to inflate your worthiness in the eyes of others? Ego does play a factor in habitual excuse making. However, indulging in ego-boosting through excuse making will likely have the reverse result: deflated personal self-worth. You can trick others into believing a lie, but convincing yourself is not as easy. Or is it? If you tell a lie convincingly enough and you get away with it you may also begin believing it yourself. It's true. Overtime, an excuse-maker will start buying into his own cons and, as a result, live a lie.

How Does it Feel Being Dishonest?

The reason why we make excuses is probably not as important as the "feeling" associated with being less than honest. Excuses are meant to hide our shortcomings or give a better light to our failures. Everyone gets that. We can all justify our reasons for making excuses. But, how does it feel having been deceitful? If it doesn't feel good, time to change your habit of making excuses. Also, if making excuses gives you a false sense of euphoria, that's not good either.

Stop Making Excuses.

Changing deceptive behaviors can be a little tricky for the chronic excuse maker. Twisting the truth becomes a way of life, almost an art form. Whenever excuses are found out to be erroneous, instead of giving a sincere apology for being untruthful the person will attempt to craft a creative non-apology (another excuse) that just adds to the original deception. This is called "digging yourself into a deeper hole."

Taking responsibility for your actions is the grown-up thing to do. Admitting your failures and accepting that you are not perfect may be hard to swallow at first. But, as you stop making excuses for yourself, you will soon realize how emotionally freeing your life can be. I know it is cliché - but "Honesty (really) is the best policy."

~ Solitude ~

2011-09-05T07:32:00.002+08:00

All humans are frightened of their own solitude. But only in solitude can we learn to know ourselves, learn to handle our own eternal aloneness.-

Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude, and the society of thyself.--Thomas Browne

Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.--Alice Koller

Do not rely completely on any other human being, however dear. We meet all life's greatest tests alone.--Agnes Macphail

Each of us is alone in the world. It takes great courage to meet the full force of your aloneness. … When you face your aloneness, something begins to happen. Gradually, the sense of bleakness changes into a sense of true belonging. This is a slow and open-ended transition but it is utterly vital in order to come into rhythm with your own individuality. --John O'Donohue (Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong)

I feel solitude as the blessing . It's the light of grace for me. I never close my door behind me without the awareness that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself.--Peter Hoeg (Smilla's Sense of Snow)

I learned...that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes into us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.--Brenda Ueland

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.--Albert Einstein

I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.--Henry David Thoreau

If you're lonely when you're alone then you're in bad company.--Jean Paul Sartre

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.--Pearl S. Buck

Isolation is aloneness that feels forced upon you, like a punishment. Solitude is aloneness you choose and embrace. I think great things can come out of solitude, out of going to a place where all is quiet except the beating of your heart.--Jeanne Marie Laskas

It is in solitude that the works of hand, heart and mind are always conceived, and in solitude that individuality must be affirmed.--Robert Lindner (Must You Conform?)

It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking . . . in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet.--Franz Kafka

It is well to be alone. It fertilizes the creative impulse.--Max Nordau

Language has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone, and the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone.--Paul Johannes Tillich

Leisure is a form of silence, not noiselessness. It is the silence of contemplation such as occurs when we let our minds rest on a rosebud, a child at play, a Divine mystery, or a waterfall.--Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Like water which can clearly mirror the sky and the trees only so long as its surface is undisturbed, the mind can only reflect the true image of the Self when it is tranquil and wholly relaxed.--Indra Devi

Man cannot survive without air, water and sleep. Next in importance comes food. And close on its heels, solitude.--Thomas Szasz

One must learn an inner solitude, where or with whomsoever he may be. He must learn to penetrate things and find God there, to get a strong impression of God firmly fixed on his mind.--Meister Eckhart

Only in quiet waters do thing mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.--Hans Margolius

Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude.--Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea)

The person who has not learned to be happy and content while completely alone for an hour a day, or a week has missed life's greatest serenity.--H. Clay Tate (Building a Better Home Town)

Solitude can be frightening because it invites us to meet a stranger we think we may not want to know--ourselves.--Melvyn Kinder

Solitude can be used well by very few people. They who do must have a knowledge of the world to see the foolishness of it, and enough virtue to despise all the vanity.--Abraham Cowley

Solitude gives birth to the original in us.--Thomas Mann

Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character.--James Russell Lowell

...solitude is such a potential thing. We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts, we get under no other condition...--Amelia Barr

Solitude is the salt of personhood. It brings out the authentic flavor of every experience.--May Sarton

Solitude, though it may be silent as light, is like light, the mightiest of agencies; for solitude is essential to man. All men come into this world alone; all leave it alone.--Thomas De Quincey

There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.--Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (Earthly Paradise)

To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations--such is a pleasure beyond compare.--Kenko Yoshida

Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself.--Alice H. Rice

Solitude is a necessary protest to the incursions and the false alarms of society's hysteria, a period of cure and recovery.--Abraham Joshua Heschel

Solitude is strength; to depend on the presence of the crowd is weakness. The man who needs a mob to nerve him is much more alone than he imagines.--Paul Brunton

Solitude is the human condition in which I keep myself company. Loneliness comes about when I am alone without being able to split up into the two-in-one, without being able to keep myself company.--Hannah Arendt

Solitude is the place of purification.--Martin Buber (I and Thou, 3)

Talents are best nurtured in solitude: character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world.--Goethe

There is a solitude which each and every one of us has always carried within. More inaccessible than the ice cold mountains, more profound than the midnight sea: the solitude of self.--Elizabeth Cady Stanton

The thoughtful soul to solitude retires.--Omar Khayyam

True silence is the rest of the mind, and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.--William Penn

We need society, and we need solitude also, as we need summer and winter, day and night, exercise and rest.--Philip Gilbert Hamerton (The Intellectual Life)

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature--trees, flowers, grass--grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...we need silence to be able to touch souls.--Mother Teresa

What a commentary on our civilization when being alone is considered suspect, when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it-like a secret vice!--Anne Morrow Lindbergh

What a lovely surprise to discover how unlonely being alone can be.--Ellen Burstyn

When we are alone on a starlit night, when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children, when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet, Basho, we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash--at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the "newness", the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, all these provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.--Thomas Merton

When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death--ourselves.--Eda LeShan

Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.--Barbara De Angelis

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.

~ The Gifts ~

2011-08-24T15:51:00.013+08:00

(this is where I found the fish)

21st August 2011 .....

" Umi ... come quickly " fatin, my third daughter shouted from downstairs as she opened the front door.
" What !!! " I shouted back at her, while running down the stairs.
" Look ! " She pointed at something black infront her car.

It's a fish just infront her car. Wondering from where this fish come from. Its heavy rain last night, but nobody here got fish pond , no river nearby also. So where on earth this fish come from.

I called my relative asking what should I do with this fish. All telling me to keep this fish.
Hmmmm ... I have no other option than to keep it.

Further more they said it is ramadhan the blessed month .. so maybe there is something Allah wants to show me .

22nd August 2011 .........

(Puteri Arsyhia Adnie At-Terawis)

That afternoon ........Nabila my eldest daughter called me ... complaining labor pain . I tried to calm her and asked to do some wirid . I urge my son-inlaw to take her to hospital qucikly. I can't accompany her as I stayed quite far and have to wait for Fatin to come back.

A few minutes before 7.00 pm .... got a message from my son-inlaw he got a baby girl .... Alhamdulilah .....

~ Reflection ~

2011-08-20T23:27:00.006+08:00

Reflection .........

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.
Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
Do we owe an apology?
Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all?
What could we have done better?
Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask Allah’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask Allah to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all Allah gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask Allah for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with Allah, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.

We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it. We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.

~ Burden ~

2011-08-16T12:40:00.001+08:00

Knowledge is a burden ...if it robs you of innocence.
Knowledge is a burden ...if it is not integrated into life.
Knowledge is a burden ...if it doesn't bring joy.
Knowledge is a burden... if it gives you an idea that you are wise.
Knowledge is a burden... if it doesn't set you free.
Knowledge is a burden... if it makes you feel you are special.

~ A Slice of Life ~

2011-08-04T18:02:00.004+08:00

Life is too short . Most of us look to live past our seventies and perhaps well into our eighties and nineties. However, there are no guarantees in life. We must all learn to live life now while we can, because our lives can be gone in just a blink of an eye.

Life is less about finding answers than it is about seeking them.

An ideal life is not a steady, consistent progression. It involves 2 steps forward and anywhere from 1 to 3 steps back. It involves peaks and valleys. The peaks feed your soul and fuel your strength to endure the valleys. The valleys feed your heart and build your wisdom to appreciate the peaks.

Whatever ideal life I can envision with clarity will always remain elusive. The true ideal is one I cannot see. It will only be revealed to me in time, and it will only be revealed if I keep my eyes and my heart open enough to see it.

The only certainty in life is that it will be fraught with uncertainty.

Promises are not guarantees, and even guarantees can be voided by the uncertainties of life. Each promise that is fulfilled should be recognized for the gift it truly is.

If I limit my expectations to the unexpected, I will never regret what never comes to be.

I thrive on stories and dreams, the greatest of which highlight compassion, understanding and brotherhood, and serve as reminders that love and faith really can conquer all.

Life really is a walk in the park...at least, that's where the filter is, the one that sorts fiction from truth and helps me to see who's really behind the curtain.

Love is not a guarantees towards happiness. Love comes and goes unexpectedly. It will fade due to certain circumstances. Don't place high hope on love. It will leave you broken hearted.

Our kids were an asset. Take good care of them. They are truly a gift from Allah, love them and Insyallah they will love you back.

A bad marriages gave a great impact on life. The experiences make you more careful in making decision and make you more wiser in every steps that we make.

Many of us go through life thinking that tomorrow is just another day. We think that we can always see family and friends another time. We put off things until tomorrow. Perhaps we all need to celebrate life now and cherish the good times while we can.

Time waits for no one and you can’t put time in the bank. Perhaps we need to get out and “Live. Love, Laugh” a little more and get on with life. The slice of life may be big or small but we need to “Live to our full potential and not waste it."

~ Lessons Life Taught Me ~

2011-07-25T18:21:00.003+08:00

1. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
2. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
3. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch

4. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
5. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
6. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

7. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
8. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
9. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

10. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
11. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
12. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

13. Get rid of anything that isn't useful.
14. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
15. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

16. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
17. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
18. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

19. The most important sex organ is the brain.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

21. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

22. Always choose life.
23. Forgive everyone everything.
24. What other people think of you is none of your business.

25. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

26. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
27. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

28. Believe in miracles.
29. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
30. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

31. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
32. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,

we'd grab ours back.

33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

34. The best is yet to come.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. Yield.
38. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

~ Persistence ~

2011-07-23T00:23:00.001+08:00

Is it time for you to give up and quit?

Most meaningful endeavors in life come with challenges. Marriages, businesses, getting an education, raising children and self-improvement are all things that are important, but aren’t always easy.

Giving up is an option. I know I’ve considered quitting just about everything I’ve ever started at one point or another. Surrendering to the challenges sure seems tempting sometimes.

Of course, successful people will tell you that persistence is the key to winning. Giving up is the only sure way to failure.

Persistence is defined as the ability to continue firmly in your purpose, despite the opposition you are feeling. It takes courage and backbone to be persistent.

When I feel like giving up, I look at these 5 rules to motivate me to be more persistent :

1. Breakthroughs happen everyday ;

" When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. "
~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

It does seem to me that breakthroughs occur just after the darkest period in any endeavor. Of course, giving up is certain failure. Stick it out one more day. Don’t look out too far toward the horizon, but instead ask yourself, “What will it take to make it through today?” Who knows what tomorrow might bring?

2. Surge to the finish line ;

" Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world. "
~ Jane Addams

I think those that succeed have the uncanny ability to summon their second wind when things seem their bleakest. Maybe it is the eternal optimism they hold inside. Maybe it is undying confidence. Maybe it is a fear of failure. Whatever the case, dig deep for another push toward your goal and you might just win big!

3. The moment is yours ;

" If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down. "
~ Mary Pickford

Face every day as if it is a new day. It is another chance to go out and make happen what you want to happen. I know this is true because I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. If there was no such thing as a second chance, then I’d be homeless, lonely and destitute! Embrace your opportunity to start fresh this moment.

4. Adopt a survivor mentality ;

" Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else. "
~ Brian Tracy

Make the other guy give up! You aren’t going to be the one to give in first are you? Usually the person that sticks to their guns the longest will be the ultimate victor. Remember the motto from the television show Survivor? It is time for you to “Outwit, Outlast and Outplay” your opposition!

5. Never forget the tortoise ;

" It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop."
~ Confucius

Remember the tortoise from The Tortoise and the Hare? He was painfully slow, but he never quit and he ended up winning. Sometimes we can get discouraged because things aren’t moving as fast as we want. In this case, our expectations become self-defeating. Don’t worry about how slow things are going, just be sure they keep moving!

~ Memories ~

2011-07-22T02:30:00.003+08:00

Life brings tears, smiles and memories.

The tears dry,

the smile fades

but the memories live on forever.

~ Marriage ~

2011-07-13T15:25:00.009+08:00

Needs In Marriage ..........

I think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be a bliss. That´s TV or movies. But that is not the human experience.

When you were married, you and your spouse both promised to care for each other, and you expected that care from each other. You were in love, and you were highly motivated to make each other happy. But it might not have occurred to you at the time that if you didn't care for each other the right way, you might lose your love for each other. And along with your loss of love, you might lose your willingness to care for each other.

At the time, you probably did not know what caring for each other the right way meant. You thought that your commitment to care for each other would be sufficient to sustain your love. Even today, you may still be in the dark as to what it takes to care for each other the right way.

To care the right way, you must make large Love Bank deposits. And I've found that the best way to make those deposits is to meet each other's most important emotional needs.

What is an emotional need? It is a craving that, when satisfied, leaves you with a feeling of happiness and contentment, and, when unsatisfied, leaves you with a feeling of unhappiness and frustration. There are probably thousands of emotional needs, and it varies from one person to the other. If you feel good doing something, or if someone does something for you that makes you feel good, an emotional need has been met.

But not all emotional needs are created equally. When some are met, you may only feel comfortable--they make small Love Bank deposits. There are others, however, that can make you feel downright euphoric. In fact they make you so happy that you're likely to fall in love with the person that meets them. I call those our most important emotional needs because they make the largest Love Bank deposits of all. And those are the very same emotional needs that a husband and wife expect each other to meet in marriage.

Once those needs are identified, it helps them learn to meet those needs for each other. Make the largest deposits possible into each other's Love Banks. If all goes well, they begin making those large deposits and eventually they are in love with each other.

When I first learnt using this approach to saving marriages, I didn't know what made people the happiest in marriage -- I didn't know what emotional needs would be the most important. So I had to ask men and women that question, "What could your spouse do for you that would make you the happiest?"

As spouses explained what they wanted most, I classified their desires into emotional need categories. And almost all those I interviewed described one or more of only ten emotional needs as being most important to them (admiration, affection, conversation, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment). Very few ever named a most important emotional need that was not included in this list of ten.

I also made a revolutionary discovery that helped me understand why husbands and wives tended not to meet each other's most important emotional needs. Whenever I asked couples to list their needs according to what they needed most, men would list them one way and women the opposite way. Of the 10 emotional needs, the five listed as most important by men were usually the five least important for women, and vice-versa.

What an insight! It is no wonder that husbands and wives have so much difficulty meeting each other's needs: They lack empathy. They are willing to do for each other what they appreciate the most, but it turns out that their efforts are misdirected. What they appreciate the most, their spouses appreciate the least!

Everyone is unique. While men on average pick a particular set of five emotional needs as their most important and women on average pick another set of five, any given man or woman can and do pick various combinations of the ten.

When they meet those needs for each other, they create the greatest happiness, and trigger a mutual feeling of love.

~ Good Marriage ~

2011-07-13T15:08:00.004+08:00

" Married people should be best friends; no relationship on earth needs friendship as much as marriage...

Friendship in marriage is so important. It blows away the chaff and takes the kernel, rejoices in the uniqueness of the other, listens patiently, gives generously, forgives freely. Friendship will motivate one to cross the room one day and say 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.' it will not pretend perfection nor demand it. It will not insist that both respond exactly the same in every thought and feeling, but it will bring to the union honesty, integrity. There will be repentance and forgiveness in every marriage--every good marriage--and respect and trust....."

~ Integrity ~

2011-07-13T11:49:00.003+08:00

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word .
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally .
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions .
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best .
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret."

~ A Real Sad Story ~

2011-07-10T01:07:00.002+08:00

(taken this story from a blog of a friend, a sad story that needs a deep thoughts ....)

The year i turn 26, I met this guy who was my colleague. We partied quite a bit together and soon we fell in love. We do things that are quite extreme.... party like there is no tomorrow, on fridays and taking long quiet walks along the beach on Saturday. But this guy was 10 years older than me and a divorcee. Anyway, soon my parents found out about our relationships and were not exactly happy about it. So one day, while talking to my dad about him, we broke into a quarrel.... I was always the rash sort, and the fight didn't end like usual, I threaten to leave home if they are against the relationship. My dad was not known for even temper as well. In the end, I packed my things and left home.

I went to his home, call him and if I could stay at his place. But soon found out that he actually have a wife at home. Things started to fall apart, I was homeless, devastated and lost. I checked into a hotel, and decided that I should leave this place of bad memories. I quit my job in the bank the next morning, left for Australia without a notice, thinking that I would be able to start my life afresh in a foreign land.

I got there, rented a place and started looking for a job. There were times I really missed my family, but my pride prevented me from calling home. Because of my financial position, I decided not to rent a place in town, as I do not know how long it would take for me to find another job.

So one day, while walking along a small road to go to the neighbourhood milk bar, a car came along the side of me and grab me into the car. Someone hit me on my head, and I could not remember anything else. When I woke up, I was tied with my hand to my back, and blindfolded. I was afraid.... all I know was a few men were taking their turns on me.

I scream and scream, but all I could heard was laughters from them. After a while I lost time. I do not know what's happening or no longer felt anything anymore. All I can feel was pain inflicted to me, monstrous laughter and I have no more strength to struggle anymore.

A long time pass, and I was chloroformed. The next time I know was that I woke up at the side of the road, where I was pulled into the car. My dress was torn and I was naked waist down. I just sat on the road side, too pain to walk, and too confuse to know what to do next.

Someone must have called the police, a car came and picked me up and send me to the hospital. The police took my statement, tried to get me to describe the whole event, all I could do was cry and all I wanted to do is to sleep. After 2 days, I was discharge. I had a very bruised rib and my virginal had 6 stitches. I was lost in my mind and not knowing what to do. I finally decided to packed up my stuff and go home.

That was 4 years ago. I was hoping that all the unhappy things in life would be left in that foreign land, and if life has been to such a stage, it could only go up. Through the 1 year i was in Australia, I never once called home, even though I wanted to very much. I guess my stubborn nature took charge of everything when you are young and bashful. So anyway, when I came home, I still did not go home, I rented a studio apartment, determined not to go home.

What make it worst was that I visited a gynea here, and was adviced to go for some tests.The result didn't came out too good, first, I was tested HIV positive, and second, i was pregnant. I tried to kill myself that night. I bought a bottle of sleeping pills, when back to my apartment, swallow the whole thing, and went to sleep.

I did not remember what happen after that, but the next thing I knew, I was in hospital, my parents were beside me. Apparently I had called my mother just before I slept. They took me home after, provided me with shelter, love and tender care, just like when I was young... They were so willing to accept me, even though I'm a HIV positive carrier.

Anyway, I gave birth to a lovely girl. I do not know why I didn't abort it. I just felt that it was a life in me, even though I did not chose it must have been fate that she come into me. Unfortunately, she was also HIV positive, and hers came into fullblown about 6 months later. She did not live long enough to blow out the only candle I had so wish to put on her cake.

Now I'm just sitting at home, enjoying my parents constant attention, love and tender care. I know too that I'm waiting for my time to come. The last test wasn't too good. I regretted getting angry at my dad, and if I hadn't, nobody would have been so hurt, and I would not have been in such a stage. People in my stage no longer dare to make any wishes anymore. We don't look forward to anything, or even dare to wish for anything. I do not know how to put it across. But it is not a good feeling when you are just sitting in the room, waiting for death to visit eventually.

My only hope is that when he finally visit, he would make it a fast one. I do not know why I'm writing all this, but if one day, my parents happen to stumped into this website, this is what i want to say. "Papa and mama, thanks for all the love and tender care you have shown me, i know my life is wasted, and i would not be able to repay your kindness anymore. I wish i have a second chance. and I love you both very much."

~ Live Your Life ~

2011-07-08T00:36:00.003+08:00

Blame is a condition of the mind, where
Love is a condition of the heart,
Choose to live your life from the heart ...

~ Be Kind To Yourself ~

2011-07-08T00:14:00.003+08:00

There will always be times when it's hard to remember your strengths.
These are the times when you need to give yourself special attention.

Be kind to yourself…
Kindness nurtures and gives hope to growing dreams.

Respect yourself…
Listen to your needs, and treat yourself as you would to a friend.

Encourage yourself…
Remember what you truly want, and fight for it as you would
for your life.

Appreciate yourself…
Don't take for granted the qualities that make you unique.

Focus yourself…
It is with discipline and motivation that you will move towards your goals.

Be giving towards yourself…
In that way, your strength will thrive,
and you'll be realizing your goals a day at a time.

~ Relationship ~

2011-06-18T13:16:00.003+08:00

Relationships ............

" When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series of polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter. "

~ TEN SECRETS ~

2011-06-10T01:33:00.002+08:00

TEN SECRETS

THE FIRST SECRET
The Power of Thought.

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize him or her when you meet him or her.

THE SECOND SECRET
The Power of Respect.

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself: "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself: "What do I respect about them?"

THE THIRD SECRET
The Power of Giving.

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

THE FOURTH SECRET
The Power of Friendship.

To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

THE FIFTH SECRET
The Power of Touch.

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

THE SIXTH SECRET
The Power of Letting Go.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was." Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts, and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me-today is the beginning of a new life."

THE SEVENTH SECRET
The Power of Communication.

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and, why are you waiting?

THE EIGHTH SECRET
The Power of Commitment.

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

THE NINTH SECRET
The Power of Passion.

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

THE TENTH SECRET
The Power of Trust.

Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself: "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", then you must think very carefully before you make any type of a commitment.

~ Two Horses ~

2011-06-06T11:29:00.004+08:00

Two Horses ..........

In a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you get a closer look you will notice something quite interesting... One of the horses is blind.

His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made him a safe and comfortable barn to live in. This alone is pretty amazing. But if you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell. It is coming from a smaller horse in the field. Attached to the horse's halter is a small, copper-colored bell. It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow. As you stand and watch these two friends you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse is, trusting he will not be led astray.

When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, he will stop occasionally to look back, making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell

Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect. Or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.

Sometimes we are the blind horse, being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. And at other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way.

~ Appreciation ~

2011-05-21T15:55:00.002+08:00

Appreciation ........

What to appreciate, When and How:

One young academically excellent person went for an interview for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview; BUT in that Company, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV, that the youth's academic result was excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never was there a year he did not score. The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarship in school?" and the youth answered "no".

The director asked, " Did your father pay your school fees?". The youth answered, "my father passed away when I was one year old and it was my mother who paid my school fees".

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" the youth answered, "my mother worked as cloth cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands and the youth showed a pair of hands that was smooth and perfect to the director.

The director asked, " Did you ever help your mother wash clothes before?" The youth answered, "never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother could wash clothes faster than I could"

The director said, I have a request, when you go back today, go and help to clean your mother's hand, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that the chance of landing the job was high and when he went back, he happily wanted to clean his mother's hands. His mother felt strange. With happiness mixed with fear, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly and his tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that she shuddered when his mother's hands were cleaned with water.

This is the first time that the youth realized and experienced that it is this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to earn him the school fees and that the bruises in the mother's hand were the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, the mother and son talked for a very long time. Next morning, the youth went to the director's office. The director noticed the tear in the youth's eye and asked: "Can you tell what you did and learnt yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands and also finished washing all the remaining clothes".

The director asked, "Please tell me what you felt"

The youth said:

"Number 1, I know what appreciation is now'. Without my mother, I would not be successful today.

Number 2, Now I know how to work together with my mother. Only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3, I know the importance and value of family relationship."

The director said, "This is what I am asking, I want to recruit a person that can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the suffering of others to get things done, and a person that would not put money as his only goal in life to be my manager. You are hired."

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates, every employee worked diligently and as a team and the company improved tremendously.

The Lessons from this anecdote:

A child who has been protected and habitually given whatever he needs, develops "entitlement mentality"and always puts himself first. He is ignorant of his parents' efforts. When he starts work, he assumes every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the suffering of his employees and always blame others. These kinds of people, may/will achieve good results and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement or satisfaction.

If we happen to be this kind of (protective) parent, this is the time to ask the question :

- whether we did/do love our kids or destroy them.

-You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn to play the piano, watch a big screen TV but when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

-After a meal, let them wash their plate and bowl together with their brothers and sisters.

-It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love and show them the correct way.

-You want them to understand that no matter how rich their parent are, one day they will grow old, become weak and that their hair too will grow grey.

-The most important thing is for your kid to learn how to appreciate, experience and learn the effort and ability needed to work with others to get things done. They should also value, appreciate what the parents have done and love them for who they are!

~ The Story of life ~

2011-05-20T16:36:00.004+08:00

The Story of life ..........

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), *but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.*

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

*Everything happens for a reason.*

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. *Even the bad experiences can be learned from.* In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

*Make every day count.*

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

*Most importantly,* *if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.*

And learn a lesson in life each day that you live.

That's The Story Of Life.

~ Love ~

2011-05-14T08:01:00.004+08:00

Love Is ........

Love is a volatile word, a mysterious realm all its own. It can blind and mislead the most calculated of men. Love is like an unpredictable reaction, a different experience each and every time it makes its presence known. Love can kill everything around it, Love can spark growth, Love can rebuild and Love can destroy….

Love can be a blessed event and a dark moment all in the blink of an eye. Nobody can predict when or where love will come about…how it will affect those involved or what it may reveal about each person it touches…

Love is unpredictable, a blessing and a curse. Love is a lesson all in itself, some catch on while others drown slowly it its vast meaning. Love comes and goes, both caresses and stings…it can bring life and usher in death….all in the same breath.

Love is caustic, an unprecedented foe to those not strong enough to weather the storm it is. Love, in whatever shape it takes and whatever outcome it brings about, also brings balance. So when there’s death it brings life, when there’s pain, Love brings strength, when there’s a loss, Love brings something overwhelmingly valuable. Love is the great equalizer in this chaotic lifetime. Love is what it chooses to be at that very instance it appears. Love can be a much-needed breakup so that someone can start anew; Love can be that one person that compliments another. Love can be whatever the moment needs in order to restore balance. It might not always be what one desires or what one may feel they need…rather Love is a method that allows the forces that be to restore what sorely was missing at that moment in time.

Love is Joy…
Love is Pain…
Love is Strength…
Love is Balance.

~ What do women want ?~

2011-05-09T04:04:00.002+08:00

What do women want ?............

To understand women, the first thing that men need to do is stop believing in the concept that men and women are totally different in their thoughts and actions and behavior. Well, men are not from Mars and women are definitely not from Venus. Open your eyes, and you'll notice that both men and women belong to our very own, beloved Earth. The aspirations, expectations, and dreams of every women are as similar (or as varied), as that of men.

To find out what a woman wants; you will have to find what does a man want? (And every man knows, that, no matter what the cliché says, its not just sex.) It's love, care and affection; money, success and status; appreciation, companionship, friendship and admiration. All this and much more...

A woman wants these very things. This is true, not only about the great and lofty ideals of life, but also about the small, everyday things. Once you understand this, you'll never be exasperated and confused about what it is, that is demanded of you, in any situation; be it, with your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend or a female colleague. Try and picture yourself in the same situation and ask yourself, what you would want in a similar situation? For example after a tiring day, if you would want a cup of tea or coffee, that's exactly what a woman would want too. Similarly, as you would want to achieve success, power and status in your professional career; that's exactly what a woman aims at, too. And if occasionally, you think that you need appreciation for the work that you do; that exactly is, what women need.

I'm not saying that there are no differences at all. However, these differences are not related to the needs; but rather the behavior and reaction-patterns. For example, most women will discuss problems at length; while men aim at solving them at the earliest. Or that, women like to share, and expect their men to listen; which means - not offer solutions, but just LISTEN. And yes, women can cry easily; be it a happy occasion or a sad one, or in fact, none at all. Most men find this, hard to deal with. Nonetheless, this is also not very difficult to tackle. In situations like these, all that a women needs, is assurance and trifle bit of more care and affection.

Once men change their perspective towards women, they will realize that women sacrifice quite a lot, in every relationship. Also that, women, neither do realize this, nor are they unhappy about it. Life would really be far more easier, for us women, if we were to get a little more respect from people around us, especially those for whom we care. And this respect will be given, only if men understand that we are not very different from them. That we too, have the same expectations from life. And once this happens, every relationship between a man and a woman will become much more momentous, enriched, enjoyable and delightful.

~ To Heal The Pain of Divorce ~

2011-04-27T23:37:00.005+08:00

To heal the pain of divorce ...........

Everyone who goes through a divorce experiences pain and grief, but some may be more profoundly affected. Some do not cope as well as others. Divorce can be a traumatic experience and healing from it takes time. There are some ways you can help yourself move through the healing process.

Develop a support system.
Find those friends and family who will be there to see you through the times when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen. A clergyman or professional counselor may be helpful, as you can talk openly and confidentially. After a divorce, your true friends won’t be hard to recognize, because they will be willing to help you adjust to the changes. Seek a divorce recovery group in your community, so that you can interact with others going through the same emotions.
Seek professional help if needed.
Some people get stuck in the pain of divorce, and may experience depression, whether mild or severe. In that case, it is imperative to seek professional help, through your family doctor or a licensed therapist. Don’t try to carry your burden alone.
Lean on your faith.
People who have a religious base may find this is the time they rely deeply on their faith. Even those who don’t consider themselves religious can lean on the faith in themselves that healing is taking place, and that they have the strength to pass through it.
Let yourself feel your emotions.
Now is not the time to try to hold in your feelings. Cry when you need to. Express your fears. Voice your anger. Holding in your emotions or trying to convince yourself you are fine when you aren’t is not healthy for you emotionally or physically.
Journal.
Many people find that journaling gives them a safe place to process their thoughts and feelings. Choose a journal and set a time of the day when you can write uninterrupted. This may be a time of discovery for you, of the deep seated feelings you didn’t even realize you had. The key to successful journaling is just to keep doing it. Find a safe place to keep your journal so you can have access to it but feel it is safe from others. After some time has passed, you can look back at how far you’ve come and all that you have accomplished.
Don’t isolate.
Accept the offers to go to lunch with your friends. Take a day and go out window shopping or sightseeing in your community, and ask someone along. Spend time with family and friends and don’t allow yourself to become isolated. Some time alone is good for everyone, but don’t overdo it.
Be patient with yourself.
For a while it may seem you take two steps forward and one back. Allow yourself the time it takes to heal the emotional wounds. Deal with them now so they don’t show up in your life in other ways later. Don’t expect the pain to go away too quickly, but allow yourself all the time you need. This is a very individual process, so don’t compare your progress with others.

Divorce is very painful, but the wounds do heal if you effectively deal with the thoughts and emotions that result. Reach out when you need help, and keep moving forward.

~ Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage ~

2011-04-27T22:43:00.003+08:00

Warning Signs of A Troubled Marriage .........

If you think your marriage is in trouble, it probably is.

Every marriage relationship is unique, but there are common warning signs and red flags that indicate problems in the marriage.

Here are some of the more common warning signs of a troubled marriage.

The two of you bicker a great deal.
You are withdrawing from one another or use the eye roll a great deal.
You don't fight fair.
There is a lot of nitpicking going on between the two of you.
You no longer have fun together.
You have nothing nice to say to one another.
You don't talk with one another about your problems.
You don't respect one another or you nag one another.
You can't agree on goals and values.
You don't trust one another and feel suspicious.
The level of sexual intimacy in your marriage is low.
Teasing has become hurtful.
Your spouse tries to isolate you from your family and friends.
You discover your spouse is lying about money.
You are happier when your spouse is away from home for an afternoon, a meeting, or for a business trip.
You realize that there is emotional and/or physical abuse in your marriage.
One of you has considered being unfaithful or has been unfaithful.

Scott Haltzman:
"If you're having difficulties in your marriage, you don't look outside the marriage as a place to solve it, you look within the marriage and turn to your spouse to find ways to get it better."

~ Marriage ~

2011-04-25T00:23:00.002+08:00

Before marriage,
a man yearns for the woman he loves,
after marriage,

the "Y" becomes silent .....

~ When We Look Back ~

2011-04-12T08:40:00.001+08:00

When We Look Back ........

People desire so many things and waste their days in vain...
Some yearn for gold, others for power, yet others for glory and a higher station.
But when death's moment nears and they look back at their lives,
they realize they've been happy only during those moments when they've loved.

~ Colors You Wear Reflect Your Mood ~

2011-03-21T15:26:00.003+08:00

Colors You Wear Reflect Your Mood .........

1. Wearing Green - Nurturing and Earthy.

Green is considered to be one of the most healing among all the colors.

Because green is the color of trees and grasses it is a wonderful color choice to wear anytime you are wanting to feel more in-tune with nature. Green represents the Spring season and new growth. Choose this color to wear whenever you are embarking on something new or wish to turn over a new leaf.

2. Wearing Blue - Serenity and Calm.

Wearing blue helps create a place of calm and serenity.

Wearing ocean hues of blue is especially calming. Indigo or darker blues can offer more of a comfort zone feeling, almost as if you are sinking into a pool of warm water. Blues in general remind me of a favorite pair of well-worn denim jeans - now that's simply relaxing.

3. Wearing Gray or Black - Invisibility and Blending In.

Wearing grays and blacks can be depressive.

Let's face it, black and gray are fashion basics. We all have the basic black suit or black dress slacks that are a must wear for a number of different social settings. Aside from the slinky spaghetti strapped number you have hanging in the back of the closet, you likely choose to wear black because you prefer to blend in and not make any statement. Wearing black will allow you to keep a low-profile in social settings if that is your intention. Don't wear black if you want to stand out amidst a crowd. Most folks don't even bother to wear black at funerals anymore, it's just too sad to wear dreary and dark colors.

4. Wearing Orange - Energetic and Creative

Orange urges you to get out into the world and create something grand!

Orange is a very high energy color. Its creativity juices are extremely intoxicating and sweet tasting. Wearing orange is fun and can make you feel quite playful. Artists love dabbling with orange hues. Orange screams with sexual energy too, not surprising since orange is associated with the sacral chakra. Because of its highly-charged intensity some people cannot comfortably wear this color. Adorning yourself with an orange accent piece can add a hint of playfulness. Beware, if you need to complete a mundane project avoid wearing orange as it might interfere with the stick-to-it-ness required to stay on task.

5. Wearing Pink - Open Heart.
Wearing pink conveys compassion and an open heart.

Most people associate pink with babies, little girls, and feminine energies. But more than feeling feminine, wearing pink conveys compassion and an open heart. When people are wearing pink, whether they are male or female, they appear approachable and capable of loving others. If you want to feel heart-connected reach for that pastel pink sweater from your closet to wear. And if pastel colors don't suit you try on something in bright fuchsia. You'll feel pretty in pink.

6. Wearing Purple - Unique and Special.

Wearing purple shows others that you want to be noticed.

Purple is seldom worn as a neutral color. Purple is the wrong color choice to make if you are wanting to blend in among others as you go about your business. The color purple, especially shades of violet, will definitely make a statement. Wearing purple shows others that you want to be noticed. If it is your desire to feel special and unique then purple is the right color choice. If you would like to send a message out into the world that you're one of a kind and that you could care less about conformity, then wear purple.

7. Wearing Red - Powerful and Confident

Red can really pack a punch when needed.

Red is a very powerful color. Wear red whenever you feel a need to portray confidence or would like to boost your self esteem. However, be aware that wearing too much red can make a person come off a little too intimidating to others who may lack self confidence in themselves. Visualizing the color red can help ground your energies so anyone who has "flighty" tendencies will benefit from wearing red to serve as a reminder to ground themselves throughout the day.

8. Wearing White - Fresh Outlook - New Beginnings.

Wearing white will help reduce any nagging feelings of disappointment or drudge.

White represents cleansing and new beginnings. Putting on a white blouse feels like being given an opportunity to start the day with a clean slate. Wearing a white garment, as long as it hasn't taken on any discoloration from too much laundering, can offer a fresh and bright outlook. Be sure to get rid of any dingy white clothes often, replacing them with brighter whites.

9. Wearing Yellow - Cheerful and Happy.
Yellow is the perfect color to wear whenever your spirits needs an uplift.

Yellow carries the same healing qualities associated with the sun. It offers warmth, optimism, and light. All shades of yellows and golds will cheer you up and help make you feel happier. Wearing yellow out into the world makes an affirmation statement. For certain, yellow is a perky color!

~ Relationship Paradigm ~

2011-03-20T07:58:00.002+08:00

Relationship Paradigm ......

When a woman buys a new pair of shoes or a man buys a new car, what are they looking for? In most cases, we have a preconceived idea of what we like; when we see it, we buy it. Sometimes the purchase is made even when we can't afford it. The preconceived idea is called our paradigm. For some of us, our paradigm is flawed because we either return the shoes or trade the car in within three years or less. The same principle applies to our relationship paradigm.

Sometimes we pick the person we like only to want to return them or trade them in within three years or less. Even when you are in a relationship that meets your paradigm and you are satisfied, it is possible that your mate is not satisfied. In that case you might end up holding your paradigm by yourself.

Our relationship paradigm is not just influenced by what we have preconceived is attractive; it is also impacted by what happens to us when we encounter a person who meets that paradigm. When you are with that person, your heart skips a beat, and you feel a lil' heat. You don't wanna take it slow, even though you know you have a long way to go, you are probably in your paradigm.

The physiological response that feels like you are high is the result of the brain releasing a chemical called dopamine. If both of you feel the vibe, the tendency will be to drive until your bodies intersect. When your bodies crash in pleasure, you just might close your eyes, open your mouth, and begin to quiver, this is because your brain has released another chemical called oxytocin. Dopamine is stimulated by our emotional feelings and oxytocin is stimulated by physical touch.

The desire to experience the feelings that person provides motivates us, just like the feelings we get when shopping for a new pair of shoes or driving a new car. The problem is that our relationships are not inanimate objects that are simply based on good feelings.

Sometimes we desire to wear different shoes and drive different cars because the fashion and the style change. Perhaps after foot surgery you can no longer wear heels. If you are married with children, a two-seat convertible is no longer practical. Likewise, what we are attracted to often shifts over time. When our relationship paradigm shifts, the absence of those past-felt emotions puts our relationship at risk.

If you leave a glass of water unattended for an extended period of time, eventually the water will evaporate. For a relationship to last, it constantly needs love poured into it that is manifested by attention, appreciation, affection, encouragement, comfort, and respect. Without a manifestation of unconditional love, it does not matter how good you feel when you are together, eventually your paradigm will shift.

If our relationship paradigm gets us to the point of marriage, we must understand that God intends for you to be as faithful to one another . The marriage vows represent a covenant that is binding by God, but the marriage license represents a contract that is binding by an attorney. With divorce rates over 50% we know that people break contracts, but God desires that we keep covenant.

There are legitimate reasons for terminating a relationship such as adultery and domestic violence, but the desire to return our relationship like a pair of shoes or trade it in like a car just because our relationship paradigm has shifted is unacceptable.

~ What Makes a Man? ~

2011-03-19T12:28:00.001+08:00

What Makes a Man? ..............

What makes a man and what is the true measure of manhood?

Temperature is measured in degrees
Weight is measured in pounds
Speed is measured by miles per hour
Liquid is measured in ounces
Distance is measured by miles
Time is measured in hours
Hard drives are measured by megabytes
Pressure is measured by PSI
Genius is measured by IQ
True manhood is measured in virtues

True manhood is measured in virtues. The best way to define virtue is through the telescope of manly courage and valor. It is the quality of doing what is right when doing what is wrong is much easier.

The virtues of true manhood…

A true man is secure in himself; unflinching in the face of the mixed messages heralded by society concerning: sex, manhood, fatherhood and husbandhood.

He inherently recognizes his duty to God, his family, community, country and government.

He leads with a servant’s heart; filled with love and endued with compassion; concerned about the needs and feelings of his fellowman.

He lives by the law of all for one and one for all.

He never sells out his family or community for filthy lucre’s sake.

His character is marked by his integrity, fidelity and loyalty. No matter how other men conduct or represent themselves, he lives by the law: “My word is my bond.”

He does not leave his family and community vulnerable to risks, attacks or dangers. Protecting them is one of his utmost concerns.

His diligence in fulfilling his responsibilities is demonstrated daily as he vigilantly seeks the spiritual, moral, health, educational, social, and economic prosperity of his people.

He never abandons his flesh and blood or leaves his family or community dangling in the wind.

He is a griot; he perpetuates the family legacy, traditions and vision through the future generations.

How he deals with adversity distinguishes him from the multitudes of males who succumb to temptations, crack under pressure and cower under in times of challenge and hardship.

Always executing that which is right and good for his family and community; he has the courage and resolve to make tough unpopular decisions.

His vision of the family is a loving, vibrant, cohesive, healthy and tightly knit unit and he never jeopardizes that vision.

He does not squint his eyes in the face of injustice or inhumanity; he is resolved to helping and improving mankind.

He is not a respecter of persons.

He prepares his sons and daughters for the future.

He doesn’t misconstrue his kindness as a sign of weakness.

His character is marked by dignity, honor and chivalry.

He is known as a champion amongst champions.

He is able to admit and amend his faults and receive advice and guidance without being arrogant, stubborn or prideful.

He does not recompense evil with evil; instead he repays evil with good.

He is a cultivator and as such, he brings out the best in people.

He respects his elders and comprehends the immense value of their sage advice.

He is called an awesome son, the best brother a sister could have, a true friend, a great husband, a doting and loving father, a trusted confidant, a caring and benevolent man.

His character is marked by his good stewardship.

He knows his God-given purpose and understands and utilizes his God-given gifts, talents and abilities for the benefit and blessing of mankind.

This is the true measure of a man.

~ Unclaimed Baggage ~

2011-03-19T00:02:00.003+08:00

Unclaimed Baggage ...........

One day I woke up and found myself in an indescribable place. Well, more like an out of body trip. I couldn't figure out where I was going or how I got there but what I saw before me were these two big heavy bags, big enough to stuff a body in.

I wondered, "Where the hell am I and whose big ass bags are these?" So just out of curiosity, I opened the bags.

One was filled to capacity with fear, sadness, rejection, depression, worry, disgust, self-pity, low self-esteem, and anger while the other bag was also just as heavy. However when I opened it, to my surprise, it was empty.

In the bottom of the empty bag was a small note that read, "You will know what to do with this bag once the time is right."

So I'm thinking, "I not only don't know where I am or how I got there but now, I have to carry these two heavy bags around. Hell, do they even belong to me? I don't see my name on them. Who in the world would carry bags around like this?"

Suddenly a train appeared... "All aboard" shouted the engineer. I ran to the doors as they flung open and tried to get on the train but my bags just got in the way. I felt someone take the bags from me, to put them under the train. You could feel the bags hit the floorboard (THUMP).

Before the train could pull off, someone was escorting me off and back to my bags. "Madam I'm sorry, we have a weight capacity. Your bags are entirely too heavy to board the train. You can either leave them here or empty something out and wait for the next train."

So I took my bags and looked inside the full one to see what I would remove while I waited for the next train. I decided to remove sadness and put that in the empty bag for I was sure it weighed the most.

When the next train appeared I ran over to it, heavy bags and all. But still the same response from the conductor, "Bags too heavy."

Train after train I was being told the same thing. So I carefully removed each emotion from the one bag to place in the empty one. I didn't want to throw them away because I was just an overseer of the bags.

I am a responsible person you know. Whoever left me with these bags must really trust me to keep them and handle them with care. "Whose bags are these any way and how did I become responsible for them?" I shouted.

The last train appeared. Before I got on, I looked into what was once an empty, heavy bag but was now filled with all those emotions from the old bag and I zipped it up. Then I peered inside the now new empty bag and saw a mirror with a note attached.

I gazed at myself in the mirror and I looked tired. Hell I was tired! Tired of those bags! Tired of deciding which emotion I was going to get rid of for they all were heavy. Then I realized those use to be my emotions, all bagged up with nowhere to go. I carried them around tucked and hidden away, just in case I needed to use them again one day.

I stopped gazing in the mirror only to read the note attached, "Keep this bag and carry it with you thru your journey, for this is where you will store your hopes, dreams, passion, faith, blessings, and possibilities. Never close this bag or you'll miss the opportunity to spill some of these new emotions onto someone else who needs them too."

Quickly I ran over to the train with my newly lighter bag with a big smile on my face. And as I boarded, I heard a voice in the distance say, "Madam you left your other bag."

I smiled and winked and said, "I have my bag!"

For you see, I don't know who that bag belongs to now... just know that it's no longer mine.

~ The 4 Stages of Relationships ~

2011-03-18T15:03:00.006+08:00

The 4 Stages of Relationships :

What would happen if a woman gave birth 3 months after she conceived? The duration of a normal pregnancy is approximately 10 months. The development of the child from embryo to fetus and finally to newborn occurs within 3 trimesters.

Each trimester represents a stage that the child needs to develop. If a woman gave birth shortly after she conceived, the child would not be fully developed and could possibly die. The same principle applies to our relationships. When we do not take our time going through the natural stages of a relationship, it's likely the relationship will not develop properly and it could die prematurely.

The 4 Basic Stages of Relationships Are:

Stranger

Casual acquaintance

Intimate acquaintance

Friendship

Stranger ........
Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought to yourself, "they are a really nice person?" Although they may have created a great first impression, you must not loose sight of the fact that they are a stranger and you don't know enough about them to determine if they are a nice person or not.

A snake in the grass may look like a stick until it bites you. Most of us are like chameleons in that we have the ability to take the color of our environment. We wear social masks with different personas for different situations. Therefore when we meet a stranger, it is likely you're meeting their persona and not their true character.

Casual Acquaintance .........
Communication is an important tool in relationships. It is used to go from the person being a stranger to them becoming a casual acquaintance. It is said that 10% of communication is verbal and the other 90% is non-verbal, which includes voice tone, eye-to-eye contact and body language. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like duck, it's probably a duck.

In a casual acquaintance relationship, you may go beyond studying the person by just looking at them and begin to see if their talk matches their walk. This can be done in a very informal manner whether it be at the office, or any other environment that gives you the opportunity to be observant.

Intimate Acquaintance ........
If you dial someone's home number and you miss a digit, you will not get through. The same should be so for establishing an intimate acquaintance. If they do not connect with the right place in the home of your spirit and soul, they should not get through your invisible, emotional wall. An intimate acquaintance will get to know personal details about you that if revealed in public could be embarrassing.

The law of magnetism in essence says like people are attracted to one another. Any person who gets emotionally close to you should have enough in common with you that you are able to support and comfort one another in a time of need.

Friendship ..............
Have you ever thought somebody was your friend only to find that they were only a casual acquaintance? Calling somebody a friend without going through the stages of relationships is like calling a child an adult simply because their body is developed.

A friend is an intimate companion that loves you unconditionally and has proven that they can be trusted. God gives us friends to be with us in the good and the bad times. We should not be so quick to call people friends, but allow the relationship to develop over time just like an embryo develops from a fetus to a healthy child.

Are you willing to take your time and allow God to guide you through the stages of relationships?

~ Are They Really Your Friend? ~

2011-03-18T13:46:00.006+08:00

Are They Really Your Friend? ..........

I Thought You Were My Friend?
Have you ever thought someone was your friend only to later find out that the person was your enemy?

The reason that most of us falsely identify people as friends is because we do not use God's standard to measure true friendship. So often we call people that we like "friends" when in reality they are "acquaintances" or "associates."

Friendship can best be described as a personal relationship between two parties where there is a God ordained covenant, unconditional love, reciprocal giving, and mutual trust.
When you reflect on those you call friends how many of them meet that standard? What binds friends together is their covenant. A covenant is like a contract but more serious. A covenant is an agreement between two parties that is binding by God, whereas a contract is an agreement between two parties that is binding by an attorney.

Although marriage is the primary covenant relationship next to God, friendships are next in importance. If married people were truly friends there would be fewer incidences of divorce because they would have practiced the principle of covenant before they got married. The people who are involved in a covenant friendship are faithful to one another because they believe that God has ordained their relationship.

Unconditional Love; The Secret Ingredient
The foundation for covenant is unconditional love. You may not always like your friend but God requires you to love them. This is not the emotional touchy feely type of love but the type of love God expresses to us unconditionally. This type of love is an attitude that expresses itself in sacrifice when you have a need, patience when required, and kindness regardless as to the circumstances.

Love is important because the fire of adversity will test all friendships. A tea bag has to be heated up before it can become a refreshing glass of tea. Likewise a relationship has to go through trials before it can qualify as a friendship. Love is the foundation during those difficult times.

The love that you have for your friend will motivate you to give when they are in need. If your friend has a need and you have the ability to share, then it is your responsibility to meet that need.

Your friend may not have the same ability to give as you do. Giving's motivation should always be love without a hidden agenda. Trust is the security and confidence that you acquire over time.

The Perfect Friend…
Nobody is perfect including your best friend; therefore your primary trust should be in God. God will lead you to a friend that you can have confidence in because their trust is in Him. Would you take off your clothes in the presence of your friend? If the answer is “no,” it is probably because you do not trust them.

You know that they are your friend when you can emotionally take off the clothes that you use to hide who you really are underneath and share your heart without having to worry about your confidence being violated.

A friend is not just a person that you like. A friend is a person that God has ordained a covenant with unconditional love, with giving and they have proven that they can be trusted. If you can look back at your life and call two people, “friends,” you have been blessed.

How many friends have you had?

~ Don't Forget To ~

2011-03-04T01:50:00.001+08:00

Don't Forget To...

by Jessica
(Oregon)

People always have their good days and their bad days. Life in general is supposed to be a great thing that you only get one shot at. I believe some of us forget what life is all about. You're supposed to be living every day like it is your last... Work yes, but don't forget to play too. When the sun is out, skip the laundry for a few hours and go soak it up. Live your life.

We are all such creatures of habit and we get so caught up in the "wake, work, eat, and sleep" routine that we forget to stop and smell the roses. Hundreds of thousands of people lose their lives to cancer, diseases, old age, etc. every year. I'm sure most of them "wished" they would have done this or that, or "regretted" not going and seeing things they wanted to see, or doing things they wanted to do. Young people's lives are cut short and they really do not always get to experience the things they want to before they pass away. So...

Do the things you want to do, be who you want to be, see what you want to see. If you want to tour Europe, do it! If you want to skydive, then skydive! If you want to climb a tree, climb it! If you want to run a marathon, run it! You only live once. People forget what life is all about.

Sometimes we need to make our dreams a reality because you never know when your last day will be. I'm not saying "go out and quit your job" or "take a sick day". What I'm saying is... all the time people spend "working extra" or "doing housework" or "playing video games, watching TV, on Myspace /Facebook all day... etc." is time you can be spending living your dreams. If it's a beautiful day outside, go see the world... go explore the area you live in... be spontaneous. You don't always need TV's Xboxes and Computers to have fun. You don't always have to spend money either. I'm sure most people have not even found the hidden beauty their surroundings bring them. Go explore up a river, or a secret beach, or take a short drive or a short hike until you find something satisfying. Take pictures, because you will regret not doing it!!!

A friend of mine had her life cut short due to cancer at only 17 years old. She was a brilliant person and brought happiness to everyone around her. She had the same hopes, wishes and dreams that everyone else her age has. It saddens me to think she didn't get to "live it up" like everyone else did. I know she is looking down at everyone smiling because they are living life to the fullest. She is the strongest person I have ever met. She did not let her sickness get her down. She had a heart of gold and her smile was always brighter than the sun. She lived her life to its fullest potential every day she had all the way down to her last. She was a great person and had great dreams. She taught me to never let something get you down, as bad as it always may seem there will be something good to come of it. She passed away in April and they had a wonderful Celebration of Life for her. She is definitely someone I will NEVER forget. I will continue my life with a positive attitude and tons of enlightenment thanks to her.

I plan on crossing 10 or more things off my "Bucket List" each year of my life until I myself pass or until there is nothing left on the list. If my list runs out, I will simply think of more positive experiences and fun things to do until I croak. I would like everyone else who reads this to do the same. Appreciate the life you have, even the ups and downs. We all have them, and if you get through them it only will make you stronger. If you fall, just get right back up. See the world, be yourself, imagine things, create things, experience the unexperienced, and most important... have fun and don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

~ The story of the 256 old year man ~

2011-02-23T01:23:00.002+08:00

The story of the 256 old year man ......

In our today world it is impossible for one to believe that a man can live up to the age of 150 years let alone 256 years. According to Time magazine and the New York Times that were published in the year 1933, there died a man whose age was 256 years. I am not sure if he was lucky to have lived up to this age or not.

He went by the name of Li Ching-Yun. In his lifetime he was able to bury 23 wives. He was able to get 180 descendants by the time of his death. If he were in Africa he would have been the role model of many men as the worth of a man was measured by the number of wives and children one had.
Li Ching-Yun claimed that the secret to his long life was sitting like a tortoise, sleeping like a dog, walking sprightly like a pigeon and keeping a quiet heart. He shared this information with a warlord that wanted to know what to do to live that long. Li insisted that peace of mind and calmness were the main contributors to his long life. For those that wonder what the man ate, you will be surprised to learn that he mainly consumed rice and wine.

Not much is known about the early life of Li Chung. The information that is known would be that he was born in the same town where he died. This would be in the province of Szechwan in China. He was literate by the age of ten and often traveled to Shansi, Tibet, Kansu and Manchuria to get herbs.

He continued selling herbs for almost 100 years. He sold his own herbs and also other peoples herbs. Time magazine also indicates that his fingernails were six inches long.

Many people by the age of 80 are usually shriveled and cannot do a lot of things for themselves. Surprisingly Li was very youthful and could do a lot for himself. This lead to many people doubting if he was that old.
Li admitted that he was born in the year 1736 and us this would make him only 197 years contrary to the supposed 256 years. It is a professor at the Minuko University that proved that Li was born in the year 1677. He was able to proof this by producing records that show that the Chinese government honored him on his 200th birthday.

This leads to the huge question if Li had forgotten his own age or was he even the legit Li. Looking at it from a medical perspective, it seems impossible for one to be able to live for that long. The age of Li has surpassed the official record by more than 130 years. It is claimed that he looked like a sixty year old.

The only reasonable conclusion would be that he either had a superhuman body or all this stories are mere exaggerations. Problem is we may never know the complete truth.

~ The ant and the contact lense ~

2011-02-19T03:55:00.003+08:00

The ant and the contact lense ...........

Brenda was a young woman who was invited to go rock climbing. Although she was scared to death, she went with her group to a tremendous granite cliff. In spite of her fear, she put on the gear, took a hold on the rope, and started up the face of that rock. Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was hanging on there, the safety rope snapped against Brenda's eye and knocked out her contact lens.

Well, here she is on a rock ledge, with hundreds of feet below her and hundreds of feet above her. Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping it had landed on the ledge, but it just wasn't there. Here she was, far from home, her sight now blurry. She was desperate and began to get upset, so she prayed to the Lord to help her to find it.

At the bottom there was a new party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?" Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across the face of the rock, carrying it.

Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a picture of an ant lugging that contact lens with the words, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You."

It would probably do some of us good to occasionally say,God, I don't know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if you want me to carry it, I will."

~ Beauty ~

2011-02-10T01:30:00.002+08:00

Beauty .............

" He who stores evil in his heart cannot see beauty."

(by Hazrat Inayat Khan)

When someone tells another about some evil, he thinks that he himself is so good, so free from all evil. This side of human nature we see even in children. One child will come and tell how naughty the other is, thinking, 'I must be called good.' Such a tendency grows and develops. Life gathers the wickedness in people. The heart becomes impressed. In time the evil is stored up. That which is the store becomes the treasure, the world within.

He who stores evil cannot see good, because there is no good in this world that has not a little spark of evil in it. There is no evil in this world that has not a little spark of good. If a person only tried to find the spark of good, he could find it. But if a person seeks to find a little spark of evil in every good, he can do that also. Someone may say of another, 'He is very good.' But the neighbor says, 'Yes, he is good, but you do not know this about him: I will just tell you what he does!' Is there anyone who never contradicts when somebody is praising another? There has never been anyone in history about whom somebody has not spoken evil.

What is really good? The answer is, there is no such thing as good or evil. There is beauty. That which is beautiful, we call good. That which is ugly compared with the beautiful, we call evil: whether it is custom, idea, thought or action. This shows that this whole phenomenon of the universe is the phenomenon of beauty. Every soul has an inclination to admire beauty, to seek for beauty, to love beauty, and to develop beauty.

~ What are you looking for in life?~

2011-02-04T00:50:00.002+08:00

What are you looking for in life?..........

Plenty of people reach a point in their lives where they just aren’t satisfied with where they are, or what they have. Midlife crisis is a great example of this – people start realizing that their life is going by very quickly, and think they’re running out of time to “have fun”.

The question is:
Have you ever really spent time thinking about what you want to get out of life? Or will you wait until you reach a point where you realize life is passing you by?

“The desire to create the life we want takes a measure of risk and it does take courage. Sometimes building a solid foundation when we make the decision to walk away from our comfort zones gives us the firm footing we need to go forward and to explore what’s next in our lives.”

Are we content in all areas of our life? Why not start to overcome fears of failure, and think about some areas of our life that we can change.

Seriously, what are we looking for in life?
No matter what we are looking for in this life ...
don't forget to cherish every moments of it ..

~ I Don't Mind What Happens ~

2011-02-01T00:18:00.004+08:00

“I DON’T MIND WHAT HAPPENS”

Thats the powerful statement I came across this morning.
Not minding what happens means being ONE with the Universe, being in sync with the world and the present moment, accepting and not resisting THE NOW.

Being at ease with what IT IS, AS IS, is the key to bring extreme and total comfort and peace of mind into our life. Every single experience in our life serves a greater purpose. Thus we ought to stop mentally labeling every situation or event that happens in our life as either good or bad, by breaking this habit, you prevent yourself from participating in human drama and thus saving yourself plenty of trouble.

This does not mean that we should stop putting effort on bringing change into our life. On the contrary, like Eckhart Tolle mentions in his book “A New Earth”,

“When the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of Life itself”.

Life and nature are pretty wise. Our nature and all our surroundings will always be filled with priceless teachings. We shall never stop wanting to keep learning, the universe provides endless FREE education/wisdom.

“There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning”.

What we’ve learned today is that we must start practicing THE ART OF NOT MINDING WHAT HAPPENS in our present moment.

The secret to happiness, OBSERVE, ACCEPT and LEARN. If our present moment still HURTS pretty severely, always remember that GOD ALMIGHTY is ALL-KNOWING. He wont leave you alone ..

Insyallah that statement will inspire me !

~ How To Accept People And Situations In Our Life ~

2011-01-25T00:05:00.006+08:00

How To Accept People And Situations In Our Life ............

It seems that there is so much going on in our lives.

Juggling family, friends, work and relationships in life can be challenging. At times we have a hard time accepting that others cannot see our point of view. This leads to anger, frustration, resentment and a feeling of sadness.

How many times in our life have we just had a conversation and we say to ourself or to the people around us “I can’t believe what he said” or “Why can’t she see that what she is doing is wrong” and the comments go on and on.

Some of us go through life living in our heads and making decisions and judgments about the way we think life should be going and more importantly the way others should be acting or reacting to what we have to say or do. This leads us to such frustration when things don’t go our way or the people in our lives don’t act how we think they should. Hours are spent worrying and stressing ourselves out.

Imagine our life if we could accept or understand someone else’s point of view. I have learned over the years that we are all right in our own heads. Sometimes we can see another point of view but for the most part we are all right. There is nothing wrong with that if you can also understand that everyone else is also right in their own heads.

Here are a few tips to help you understand another persons point of view.

Realize that another person firmly believes what they are doing is right (even though we think it is completely crazy). This is a big step to take as you are now seeing another angle to the situation.
Accept that others have their own opinion and way of doing things. Instead of thinking that your way is right and convincing others that they are wrong accept that others have their own way of doing things.
Dont’ take it personally. This is a tough one especially when it comes to relationships with family. The hardest thing to get over is when someone close to you appears to be intentionally hurting your feelings. Realize that it is their reality and perhaps they are unaware of how they are making you feel.
Don’t assume that other people know how you are feeling. A lot of times we assume that others should know how we feel or know what we are thinking. They don’t. Make sure that you tell them what’s on your mind.
The way you see the world can be different from the way others perceive it. We are all individuals with different views on the world. Realize that others have their own thoughts and perceptions on situations that are different from yours.

Relationships with others can be a challenging task. Look at it like we are all part of a big blended family. We are all different and this makes for a very interesting life.

When you can accept that we all have our differences this is the first step to personal freedom. It’s not an easy task but if you take it day by day and realize we all see life differently you are on the road to a happier you.

~ Sharing ~

2011-01-22T19:24:00.008+08:00

yesterday was a busy and tiring day ...
I got an appointment at USIM in Ampang .... unknown place and new to me ...
while focusing on the road .......... I got a message from a friend (NFAR) .....
the message sound so sad and serious ... but I can not help ... then I really stuck to find where the USIM ...... Ohhhhhh
I hope she forgive me ... anyway I text her back "get u later" ..........

to NFAR .... I truly understand how you feel ... how I wish to hug you and tell you, how much I care ! ... but you are in penang and I'm here ...

here I got a story to share with you ....
this is the real story and not designed to please you ...

I happened to know this benggali lady who stayed in the same housing area with me ...
one day while cleaning my garden .. she came up to me .. she said " will you willing to listen to me " ......

I looked at her ... from her eyes can be seen the pain she had suffered ...

I invited her into my house and offered her a drink ... then she begin her story ...
she was abandoned by her husband (an ex police officer age 65 yrs) who stayed with his girlfriend ... and asked her to get out from the house ... and now she stayed with one indian family ... about five to six houses away from her husband ...

I had a talk with that indian family ... and they confirmed to me about the story.
what surprised me is that ... my daughter who went to work as early as 6.30 am, and saw her standing at the front gate of her husband's house ... my daughter said, every morning she was there ....... Ohhhhh ..

one day I saw her walking in front of my house ... called her in and asking her why she did all that ... her answer was simple " I still love him, and will never forget him, and believe he will return back to me " ...

I was speechless and stunned by her answer .... what else can I say ...

from that day .... I never disturb her anymore ... just watching her from far ...
walking here and there alone .... ( so sad to see her like that )

one afternoon while preparing for my zuhur salat, I heard an ambulance in front of that indian house, saw many people .... finished my salat I quickly went to that house ........ I was so shocked when informed, she had passed away and refused taking any foods for many days .........

I cried while walking back home ........ the tears keep streaming down my cheeks ..
I learned a lesson from this incident .......

(my friend NFAR ......... the choice is in her hand .. she can choose to let go of the pain .... and start a new life ... as we can see that her husband no longer love her ... but she keep on believing that her husband will return back one day ...

I understand the feeling of missing someone, keep seeing him everywhere .....I dont blame you for that my friend ..... but the choice is yours ... as you told me, his family had chosen other girl for him ... please my friend, do your best ... and think wisely ....
Allah knows best why He didn't give you now ..........

as I told you earlier ....
' It is said that every pot has it's lid. A pot with a wrong fitting lid is not what it could be, nor will it ever be able to be what it could be. '

(keep in touch my friend ..... always wishing you the best ... take care )

~ What Solitude Unearths In Us ~

2011-01-20T22:30:00.002+08:00

What Solitude Unearths In Us ......

When we enter into solitude to be with God alone,
we quickly discover how dependent we are.

Without the many distractions of our daily lives, we feel anxious and tense.
When nobody speaks to us, calls on us, or needs our help, we start feeling like nobodies. Then we begin wondering whether we are useful, valuable, and significant.

Our tendency is to leave this fearful solitude quickly and get busy again to reassure ourselves that we are ‘somebodies.’ But that is a temptation, because what makes us somebodies is not other people’s responses to us but God’s eternal love for us. To claim the truth of ourselves we have to cling to God in solitude as to the One who makes us who we are.

~ The Truth ~

2011-01-14T02:19:00.002+08:00

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a. s.) and abu Shakir .......

Jafar as-Sadiq (A. S.) was one of the most patient and tolerant teachers of his time. He used to take his classes every day. After his lectures he would listen and reply to the objections of his critics. He had asked his critics, who attended his classes, not to interrupt him during his lectures. They were quite free to ask him any question or raise any objection after the classes were over.

Once Abu Shakir, one of his opponents, said to him: “Would you allow me to say something and ask some questions?”

“Yes, you can”, replied Imam Jafar as-Sadiq.

Said Abu Shakir: “Is it not a myth that there is Allah? You want people to believe in a thing which does not exist. If there was Allah, we could have felt his existence through our senses. You may say that we can feel His presence by the help of our inner senses, but our inner senses also depend upon our five outer senses. We cannot conjure up an image of anything in which some of our senses were not involved. We cannot conjure up the picture of a person whom we have not met; recall to our memory his voice if we have not heard him and feel the touch of his hand by our inner senses if we have never taken his hand in our hand.”

“You may say that we can perceive the presence of Allah by our intelligence and not through our inner or outer senses. But our intelligence also needs the assistance of our five outer senses, without which it cannot function. We cannot make any reasoning or come to any conclusion without the help of our senses.

By your imagination you have created a being, which is of your own image. Since you see, talk, hear, work and rest, He also does exactly what you do.”

“You do not show Him to anyone. To maintain your hold on the people you say that He cannot be seen. You also say that He was not born from the womb of a woman. He does not procreate and that He would not die. I have heard that there is an idol in India, which is hidden behind a curtain and is not allowed to be seen by the Hindu devotees. The custodians of the idol say that it is out of mercy that their god does not appear before them, because whoever casts his eyes on it, would instantly die.”

“Your Allah is also like the veiled god of the Hindus. It is out of His mercy that He does not appear before us. If he does, we shall surely die. You say that the universe was created by Allah, who did not talk to anyone, except to the Prophet of Islam. As a matter of fact the universe came by itself. Does anyone create the grass, which grows in the field? Does it not grow and get green by itself? Does anyone create the ants and the mosquitoes? Do they not come out by themselves?”

“I must tell you, who claims to be a scholar and the successor of the Prophet, that among all the stories, which circulate among the people, none is more absurd and baseless than the story of Allah, who cannot be seen. There are many baseless stories, but they, at least, depict real life and present before us the people and personalities, who may themselves be fictitious, but their acts and deeds are like those of real human beings. We can see them. They eat, they drink, they talk, they sleep and they love. When we read these fictitious stories, we enjoy them. We know that they are false, but we see in them the faces of men and women, who are like us. The people mentioned in the stories might not have existed, but our common sense accepts existence of such people in the world. However, when we cannot see, feel or touch your Allah, our logic and reasoning, which depend upon our senses, do not accept his existence.”

“l know that some people, who have been deceived by you, believe in your invisible Allah, but you cannot deceive me and make me believe in Him. I worship God, who is made of wood and stone. Although my God does not talk, but I can see him with my eyes and touch him with my hands.”

“You say that the God whom I have made from my own hands is not worthy of being worshipped, while you ask the people to worship Allah, you have created by your imagination. You deceive innocent people by saying that your imaginary Allah has created the universe, but I do not deceive anyone. No one created the universe. There was no need of any god to create it. It came by itself. God cannot create anything. He is himself our creation. I created him by my hand and you by your imagination.”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (A. S.) did not say a word during the long tirade of Abu Shakir. Sometimes his students, who were present, wanted to intervene but he asked them to remain quiet. When Abu Shakir stopped his lengthy discourse, the Imam asked him, if he had anything more to say.

Retorted Abu Shakir: “By introducing your invisible Allah to the people, you want to acquire wealth and position and have a respectable, comfortable and luxurious life. These are my last words. I do not want to say anything more.”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (A. S.) said: “l would like to start with the last part of your speech. Your accusations that I want money, position and a comfortable life would have been justified if I was living like a caliph. You have seen today that I have eaten a few morsels of bread only and nothing else. I invite you to my house to see for yourself what I will have for dinner and how I live.”

“Abu Shakir, if I wanted to acquire wealth and have a good life, as you say, I was not obliged to teach and preach to get rich. I would have earned money and got rich by my knowledge of chemistry. Another way to get rich was to do business. I have more knowledge’ about foreign markets than any merchant in Medina. I know what goods are produced in different countries and where to sell them for profit. I also know how to bring them here to reduce the cost of transport. Our merchants import goods only from Syria, Iraq, Egypt and some other Arab countries. They do not know what goods are available in Isphahan, Rasht and Rome, otherwise they would have imported them and sold them with profit.”

“Abu Shakir, you have said that I ask the people to worship Allah to deceive them and to get rich. I must tell you that I have never taken anything from anyone, except some fruits as presents. One of my friends sends to me every year fresh dates from his garden and another some pomegranates from Taif. I accept these presents so that they may not get offended.”

“I have heard, O Abu Shakir, that your father was a pearl merchant. Perhaps you may have some knowledge about pearls. But I know all about pearls and precious stones. I can also appraise their market value. If I wanted to get rich I would have worked as a jeweller. Can you test and recognise a precious stone? Do you know how many kinds of rubies and emeralds there are in the world?”

“I know nothing about them”, replied Abu Shakir.

“Do you know how many kinds of diamonds there are and what colours they have?” asked Imam Jafar as-Sadiq.

“I do not know”, replied Abu Shakir.

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq said: “I am not a jeweller, but I know all about the pearls and precious stones. I also know where they come from. All jewellers must know about gems, what I know, but few of them know their sources.”

“Do you know what makes a diamond shine?”

“I never was a diamond merchant, nor was my father. How can I know why diamonds shine?; replied Abu Shakir.

Said the Imam: “Diamonds are obtained from the beds of rivers and streams. Rough diamonds are cut by experts. This is the cut of a diamond, which gives it its brilliance. Those who are experts in cutting diamonds are trained from the childhood in the profession of their fathers and forefathers. Cutting a diamond is a very delicate and difficult art. A diamond is cut only by a diamond.”

“Abu Shakir, I have said all this simply to show to you that if I wanted to accumulate wealth, I could have done so by making use of my knowledge about jewels. I have replied to your accusations and now I shall deal with your objections.”

“Abu Shakir, you have said that I have fabricated stories and ask the people to worship Allah, who cannot be seen. You refuse to acknowledge existence of Allah, because He cannot be seen. Can you see inside your own body?”

Replied Abu Shakir: “No, I cannot.”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq said: “If you could have seen what is inside you, you would not have said that you do not believe in Allah, who cannot be seen.”

Abu Shakir asked: “What is the relationship between seeing within one’s own body and the existence of your unseen Allah?”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (A. S.) replied: “You have said just now that a thing, which cannot be seen, touched, tasted or heard, does not exist.”

Abu Shakir said: “Yes, I have said that and I believe it is true.”

Jafar as-Sadiq asked: “Do you hear the sound of the movement of blood in your body?”

Said Abu Shakir: “No, I do not. But does blood move in the body?

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (A. S.) said: “Yes, it does. It makes a full circuit of your body. If the circulation of blood stops for a few minutes you will die.”

Abu Shakir said: “I cannot believe that blood circulates in the body.”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq said: “It is your ignorance, which does not let you believe that your blood circulates in your body, and the same ignorance does not let you believe in the existence of Allah, Who cannot be seen.”

Then the Imam asked Abu Shakir whether he has seen the tiny living beings, which Allah has created in his body.

Jafar as-Sadiq continued: “It is because of these small creatures and their wonderful work that you are kept alive. They are so small that you cannot see them. Since you are a slave of your senses, you do not know about their existence. If you increase your knowledge and decrease your ignorance, you will come to know that these small beings in your body are as large in number as the particles of sand in the desert. These small creatures are born in your body, multiply in your body, work in your body and die in your body. But you never see them, touch them, taste them or hear them in your life time.”

“It is true that one who knows himself knows his Allah. If you had known yourself and had the knowledge of what is going on inside your body, you would not have said that you do not believe in Allah, without seeing Him.”

Pointing his finger to a huge stone he said: “Abu Shakir, do you see the stone, which is in the foot of that portico? To you it seems lifeless and motionless, because you do not see the brisk motion, which is inside the stone. Again it is lack of knowledge or your ignorance, which would not let you believe that there is motion inside the stone. The time will come when the learned people would see the motion which is in the stone.”

Continued the Imam: “Abu Shakir, you have said that everything in the universe came by itself and has no Creator. You think that the grass in the field grows and gets green by itself. You must know that the grass cannot grow without seeds and seeds would not germinate without moisture in the soil and there would be no moisture if no rain falls. The rain does not fall by itself. First the water vapours rise and gather above in the atmosphere in the form of clouds. The winds bring the clouds. Then the water vapours condense and fall down as rain drops. The rain must also fall at the right time, otherwise no grass will grow and become green. Take the seeds of ten kinds of herbs and put them in a closed jar, which has sufficient water, but no air. Would they germinate? No, in addition to water, seeds need air also. It is possible to grow grass, herbs and fruits in hot houses, when it is very cold, provided there is sufficient air. Without the presence of air no grass will gr! ow in the fields and get green. If there is no air, all plants and animals, including human beings, would die.”

“Abu Shakir, do you see the air, on which your very existence depends. You only feel it when it moves. Can you refuse to believe in the existence of air? Can you deny that to grow and get green the grass needs many things like seeds, soil, water, air, a suitable climate and above all a strong managing power, which may co-ordinate the action of these different elements. That Managing and Co-ordinating Power is Allah.”

“You say that everything comes by itself because you are not a scientist. No scientist would ever say that. All scientists and all scholars believe in the existence of a creator, albeit, they may call Him by different names. Even those, who do not believe in Allah, believe in a Creative Force.”

“Abu Shakir, it is not because of one’s knowledge, but it is due to his ignorance that he does not believe in Allah. When a wise man thinks of himself, he finds that his own body needs a controller so that all its organs and systems may function properly. He then realises that this vast universe also needs a controller or supervisor so that it may run smoothly.”

“You said just now that both of us create our own gods – you by your hands and I by my imagination. But there is a big difference between your god and my Allah. Your god did not exist before you made him out of wood or stone, but my Allah was there before I could think about Him. I do not create my Allah by my hands or by my brain. What I do is to know Him better and think of His Greatness. When you see a mountain you try to know more about it. It is not creating the mountain by imagination. That mountain was there before you saw it and it would be there when you are gone.”

‘You cannot know much about the mountain because of your limited knowledge. The more your knowledge grows, the more you will learn about it. It is impossible for you to find out when and how that mountain came into being and when it would disappear. You cannot find out what minerals are there inside or underneath the mountain and what is their benefit to mankind.”

“Do you know that the stones, out of which you make your idols came into being thousands of years ago and shall exist for thousands of years more. These stones have come here from a distant place. They could travel that long journey because different parts of the earth are always moving, but this movement is so slow that you do not feel it. There is nothing in the universe, which is not in motion. Rest or motionlessness is meaningless. We are not at rest even when we are sleeping. We are in motion because the earth is in motion. Besides, we have a motion inside our own bodies.”

“Abu Shakir, if you had any knowledge about the piece of stone, out of which you carve an idol, you would not have denied the existence of Allah and said that I have created Him by my imagination. You do not know what a stone is and how it came into being. Today you can handle it as you like and cut it into any shape or form, but there was a time when it was in liquid state. Gradually it cooled down and Allah solidified it. In the beginning it was quite brittle and would have broken into pieces in your hand like a piece of glass.”

Asked Abu Shakir: “Was it in a liquid condition before?”

“Yes, it was”, replied Jafar asSadiq (A. S.)

Abu Shakir burst into a peal of laughter. One of the students of Jafar as-Sadiq got angry and was about to say something when he was stopped by his teacher.

Abu Shakir said: “I am laughing because you say that the stones are made of water.”

Jafar as-Sadiq (A. S.) replied: “I did not say that the stones are made of water. What I had said was that in the beginning they were in a liquid state.”

Abu Shakir said: “What difference does it make. The liquid and water are the same things.”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq replied: “There are many liquids which are not water. Milk and vinegar are liquids, but they are not water, although they have a water content in them. In the beginning the stones were liquid like water and they flowed like water. Gradually they cooled down and became hard so that you could cut them and make them into idols. The same hard stones will turn into liquid, if they are heated.”

Said Abu Shakir: “When I go home I will check the truth of your statement. I will put the stone in the fireplace and see if it turns into liquid or not.”

Said the Imam: “You cannot liquefy stone in your fireplace. Can you liquefy a piece of iron at home? A very high temperature is required to turn solid stone into liquid.”

“Do you realise how you could make the idols out of stones? It was Allah, who made the stones. It was He Who created you and gave you the hands with the unique fingers, which enabled you to handle tools and chisel out the idols from the stones. Again it was He who gave you power and intelligence, which you used in making the idols.”

“Abu Shakir, do you think that the mountains are only heaps of stones? The Great Allah has created them to serve some very useful purpose. They were not created so that you may take stones and turn them into idols. Wherever there is a mountain there is flowing water. Rain and snow which fall on the mountain tops produce streams of fresh water. These streams combine together to form big rivers, which irrigate farms and fields. The people who live in the valleys, through which the rivers flow, are assured of constant supply of water. People who can afford it, go to the mountains during the summer season to escape the heat of the plains.”

“The mountains work as a great bulwark and protect towns and villages, which are in their valleys from the devastation and destruction of hurricanes. Green mountains provide good grazing grounds for sheep. When scorching heat burns the pastures down in the plains and no fodder is left, the shepherds take their flocks of sheep to the mountains and stay there till the end of summer. Mountains are also habitats of birds and animals, some of which are a good source of food for those, who live there. Even the mountains, which are not green, are not without some use. If the people try, they may discover in them mines of metals and minerals which are useful for mankind.”

“Abu Shakir, I am too small and too weak to create Allah with my brain. It is He, who has created my brain, so that I may think of Him and know Him – my Creator. He was there before I came into being and He would be there when I am no more. I do not mean that I would be totally destroyed. Nothing in the universe is totally destroyed. Everything is subject to change. It is only Allah, Who does not change.”

“Abu Shakir, please tell me sincerely to whom will you turn for help when you are in trouble? Do you hope that the idol you carve out of stone can come to your succour? Can it cure you when you are sick; save you from mishaps and calamities; save you from starvation and help you pay your debts?”

Abu Shakir replied: “I have no such expectations from the stone, but, I think there is something inside the stone, which will help me. Moreover, I cannot help worshipping it.”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq enquired: “What is inside the stone? Is it also stone?”

“I do not know what it is. But it cannot help me if it is also stone,” replied Abu Shakir.

Said Imam Jafar as-Sadiq: “Abu Shakir, what is inside the stone and is not stone and can help when you are in trouble is, Allah.”

Abu Shakir pondered over the subject for a while and then said: “Is Allah, who cannot be seen, inside the stone?”

The Imam replied: “He is everywhere.”

Abu Shakir said: “I cannot believe that a thing may be everywhere but remain unseen.”

The Imam said: “Do you know that the air is everywhere but cannot be seen?”

Said Abu Shakir: “Although I cannot see the air, I can, at least, feel it when it moves. But I can neither see your Allah nor feel his presence.”

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq said: “You do not feel the presence of air when it is not moving. The air is only a creation of Allah. He is everywhere, but you cannot see Him or feel His presence by your senses. You have admitted just now that although you do not see it, but your instinct or your soul tells you that there is something inside the stone, and is not the stone, which can help you. That something is Allah. Your instinct also tells you that you cannot live without Allah and without worshipping Him.”

Abu Shakir said: “It is true. I cannot live without worshipping idols.”

Said Imam Jafar as-Sadiq: “Do not say idols. Say Allah. It is He, Who is worthy of worship. just like you everyone is obliged to worship Him. One, who does not worship Allah has no guide and no guardian. He is just like one, who cannot see, cannot hear, cannot feel and cannot think. He does not know where to go and on whom to depend when in trouble. Worshipping Allah is a part of living. Every living being worships Him instinctively. Even the animals cannot live without worshipping Him. We cannot ask them and they cannot tell us that they worship Allah, but their well regulated and orderly life is sufficient proof that they worship Him.

“I do not say that the animals believe in Allah and worship Him just as we do. But there is no doubt that they obey the laws made by their Creator faithfully, which means they worship Him. If they were not obedient to their Creator, they could not have such an orderly and regulated life.”

“We see that just before the advent of spring the titmouse (a kind of small bird) always comes at the same time and sings, as if to give us the tiding of the new season. The itinerary of these migratory birds is so regulated and their schedule so fixed that even if the last days of winter are still cold, their arrival is not delayed for more than a few days. When Chilchila (a migratory bird) returns after covering a distance of thousands of miles, it builds its nest at the same place, where it had built it last spring. Was it possible for these small birds to have such a well organised life if they did not obey the laws of Allah and worship Him?”

“Abu Shakir, even the plants obey the laws made by Allah faithfully and worship Him. Out of 150 species of plants, which are further divided into hundreds of sub-species you will not find even one plant, which has a disorganised and disorderly life.”

“Abu Shakir, just like us the plants also do not see their Creator, but they worship Him by obeying His laws instinctively.”

“I know that you will not accept, or perhaps you do not understand, what I say. A man must have sufficient knowledge to understand complicated problems.”

“Abu Shakir, not only animals by their animal instinct and plants by their plant instinct obey Allah and worship Him, the lifeless and inanimate objects also, with whatever instinct they have, obey Allah and worship Him. If they did not worship Him, they would not have followed the laws made by Him. As a result, their atoms would have broken apart and they would have been destroyed.”

“The light which comes from the sun also worships Allah by obeying his laws, which are very stringent and exact. It comes into being by the combination of two opposite forces. These forces also obey the laws of Allah and worship Him, otherwise they cannot produce light.”

“Abu Shakir, if there was no Allah there would have been no universe and no you and me. The sentence, “There is no Allah’, is meaningless. The existence of Allah is a must. If attention of Allah is diverted, even for a moment from the affairs of the universe to something else, it would break up. Everything in the universe obeys His laws, which are permanent and eternal. Because of His absolute wisdom and knowledge, He could make such wonderful laws, which will last for ever. Each and every law, made by Him serves some special and useful purpose.”

When the Imam concluded his discourse, Abu Shakir fell into a deep reverie as if he was greatly inspired.

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq asked: “Do you now believe that Allah, who cannot be seen, does exist and what you worship is the unseen Allah?”

Abu Shakir replied: “I am not yet convinced. I am in a quandary. I am full of doubts and misgivings about my faith and my convictions.”

Jafar as-Sadiq remarked: “The doubt about idol worship is the beginning of the worship of Allah.”

~ Good And Evil ~

2011-01-12T23:27:00.002+08:00

Good And Evil .........

Every morning a woman baked Chapati, an Indian flatbread, for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She would always place the extra Chapati on the windowsill, for whosoever needed to eat it.

She noticed a hunchback came every day and took the extra Chapati. Instead of expressing gratitude, he would muttered the following words as he went on his way: "The evil you do remains with you. The good you do, comes back to you!"

This went on day after day after day. The woman felt very irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself. "Every day this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean? "

One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said.

And what did she do? She added poison to the Chapati she prepared for him!

As she was about to place it on the windowsill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said. Immediately, she threw his Chapati into the fire, prepared another one and put it on the sill.

As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the Chapati and muttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you. The good you do, comes back to you!"

The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Every day, as the woman placed the Chapati on the windowsill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months she had no news of him and she always prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak.

Looking at his mother he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged him for a morsel of food and he was kind enough to give me a whole Chapati."

"When he gave it to me, he said, 'This is what I eat every day. Today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!'"

As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned Chapati that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son and he would have lost his life!

It was then that she realized the significance of the words: "The evil you do remains with you. The good you do, comes back to you!"

Note: Do good and don't ever stop doing good, even if it's not appreciated at that time.

~ Just Like A Dream ~

2011-01-06T09:08:00.004+08:00

Just like a dream ...........

You were not created to wonder without a purpose
Life is not play; don’t treat it like a circus
There will come a time when you will reap what you sow
So don’t wonder aimlessly as if you don’t know

You came from Allah and unto Him shall you return
Just pray your deeds, don’t cause your soul to burn
How sad it would be to leave from the Mercy of the Lord

A wise man once said, Time is like a sword
If you don’t cut with it, it will cut you down
Use it wisely and the Lord’s Mercy shall be found
Don’t let the things of this world be a delusion for you
Where the things that are false appear to be true
Why chase after things that you will only have for a short while
Chase after the everlasting and have an eternal smile
Those things that most chase after others shall inherit
Don’t be like everybody else sounding like a parrot
Same drama, different person, different scene
This world will come to an end, just like a dream

~ Relationship ~

2010-12-29T01:48:00.001+08:00

Relationship .......

It is said that every pot has it's lid. A pot with a wrong fitting lid is not what it could be, nor will it ever be able to be what it could be.

Find the right lid that fits your pot and all the steam will stay inside instead of escaping seeking expression externally to the relationship.

~ Siapa Yang Bodoh ? ~

2010-12-26T17:56:00.005+08:00

Manusia memang mudah mengata bodoh kepada yang lain .. tanpa menyedari yang menuduh itulah yang bodoh ...

siapakah yang bodoh ?
Bagiku ........... manusia yang bodoh ialah yang menuruti hawa nafsunya.
Kalau kita mengaku bahawa kita beragama Islam .......insyallah segala apa yang kita hendak lakukan mestilah ada batasannya ...

Amat tidak setuju apabila ada orang mengatakan "follow your heart" atau "just do what you want to do" .......... betul ke itu ?

Mana boleh ........... setiap apa yang kita lakukan kita mesti fikirkan .......... adakah Islam benarkan atau Allah suka atau murka ? .......... kita mesti memikirkan risiko apa yang kita lakukan ... segala hal mesti kita sandarkan dengan Allah dan Islam !

Kenapa sekarang ini terlalu banyak perkara berlaku yang bercanggah dengan Islam dan tatasusila kemanusiaan ........ kenapa ? ...........manusia tidak menggunakan akal yang Allah kurniakan ........ mereka mengikut bisikan rasa hati .......... selalunya bisikan ini ialah dari syaitan .

Kita boleh lihat orang yang mempunyai degree pun boleh buang anak, boleh menipu, mencuri, berzina, dedah aurat dan bermacam-macam lagi ... kenapa ? bodoh ke mereka ? mereka golongan bijak pandai ! ......... tapi mereka letak islam di kaki, bukan di hati ..........

Kalau orang mengatakan kita bodoh .... jangan bertengkar atau ambil hati .... senyum saja ...
bisikkan dalam hati mengatakan ............ dialah yang bodoh !!!

~ It Makes You Stronger ~

2010-12-25T08:20:00.002+08:00

It Makes You Stronger ...........

As the years roll by, as the days take their place in time; I stop to look back… look ahead… and look within… a snapshot into my soul.

Looking Back :
It's been said that those who do not learn from their past mistakes are condemned to repeat them. Soberly reflecting, I cast my mind back to the many lessons I had to learn not once, not twice, but several times over, because I simply refused to let go. It gets to a point where you stop running, stop crying, stop lying to yourself - you face reality. It's a struggle at times, but my, my! I look back and realize it does get easier, with each passing day.

It takes me a while to close doors because I believe doors open for a reason, but sometimes we are so bent on keeping that door open, that we fail to see when God closes it and opens another. The ghost of the past can be a lurking shadow chasing our sunrises but with God's help - break that hold! Embrace the dawn of a new morning! It's never easy but you reflect, you accept and you learn…and it makes you stronger.

Looking Ahead :
In finding myself, I discover my future with all its beauty and promise and hope. We cannot change the past but we can shape the future and that's the beautiful thing about life. The rain will fall, the unexpected will occur but it's your attitude about what card life deals you that makes the difference.

Will you see the clouds or the sky? Will you see problems or solutions?

I claim the promises of God in believing that He'll never leave me nor forsake me and trust in the plan He has for my life. I am bound to make mistakes, but I will learn from them; I am bound to go through trials and tribulations but they will make me stronger; I am bound to hurt people dear to me, consciously or unconsciously, but I will ask for forgiveness. The world is my playground and the best is yet to come. Tomorrow is not granted, but my attitude can be and that powerful realization…it makes you stronger.

Looking Within :
Life can be cruel in its harsh reality. I've learned and continue to learn some hard facts. Situations and circumstances have revealed my strengths and also my weaknesses. At the height of good fortune, a human can be vulnerable to misdirection and mistakes. In the rough times, I've learned more about myself than at any other time in my life. I must accept my imperfections and overcome them.

Life also reveals the different shades of human nature. When the lightning strikes and the storms come, the rainbow reveals who your true friends really are. Roses have thorns, people change, and most friendships are fleeting.

Learn to seek happiness alone, love yourself and through that you can truly love others. Forgive, not for the person but for yourself. Let God carry your burdens, sometimes it's just too heavy to carry them all by yourself.

Look within and discover your passions, your soul discover you…it makes you stronger!

~ No Regrets ~

2010-12-13T12:36:00.003+08:00

No regrets ..........

A few days more we will welcome 2011 ....... when we looked back, is there anything we can learned ? Of course there is , if we really open our eyes and heart ...

If not because what we have been through, we are not what we are today ...
we became more confident and courageous to lead this life ...

Often we regret and brood about past decisions – what we should or shouldn’t have done. Or we think of what we should now be doing and are not doing, of what we would like to learn, and it makes us uneasy.

We regret misunderstandings – words we wish we hadn’t said, words we wish we had said, mistakes we have made, people we have offended, opportunities gone by, errors and carelessness that could have been avoided, places we might have gone, things we might have been.

The past has its place and is valuable for lessons learned. The present also has its place, and what we cannot change should not now needlessly keep us from looking and moving forward. Nothing lost or left behind should keep us from now becoming what we can become, from learning what we now can learn.

There are new decisions every day, every hour, and reasons to improve and to repent. Whatever we are, wherever we’ve been, each day we have some opportunity to determine direction.

Each day we need to win, or keep – and certainly to deserve – the love of loved ones; each day to be more patient, more pleasant, more understanding. If there have been loved ones neglected, unreconciled differences, unspoken gratitude, unacknowledged debts, we ought to do now what we should do. If there has been within something that has soured us, we well would turn now to sweetening ourselves, for we hurt ourselves as well as others when we live below the level of our possibilities.

Whatever the past or its meaning, or its length, or its losses, or its lessons learned or left unlearned, we go on from where we are – wherever we are – and become what we can become; with work, repentance, improvement; with faith in the future.

~ Feeling Our Words ~

2010-12-10T01:33:00.001+08:00

Feeling Our Words ........
(Words Have Weight)

Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or hurt. Most of us can remember a time that someone sent a word our way, and it stuck with us. It may have been the first time we received a truly accurate compliment, or the time a friend or sibling called us a name, but either way it stuck. This experience reminds us that what we say has weight and power and that being conscious means being aware of how we use words.

The more conscious we become, the more we deepen our relationship to the words we use so that we speak from a place of actually feeling what we are saying. We begin to recognize that words are not abstract, disconnected entities used only to convey meaning; they are powerful transmitters of feeling. For the next few days, you might want to practice noticing how the words you say and hear affect your body and your emotional state. Notice how the different communication styles of the people in your life make you feel. Also, watch closely to see how your own words come out and what affect they have on the people around you.

You may notice that when we speak quickly, without thinking, or rush to get our ideas across, our words don't carry the same power as when we speak slowly and confidently, allowing those receiving our words time and space to take them in. When we carefully listen to others before we speak, our words have more integrity, and when we take time to center ourselves before speaking, we truly begin to harness the power of speech. Then our words can be intelligent messengers of healing and light, transmitting deep and positive feelings to those who receive them.

~ Are you in Love or Lust? ~

2010-12-09T02:12:00.003+08:00

Are you in Love or Lust? .......

(http://www.therelationshipgym.com/love_or_lust.htm)

It's so difficult to tell. So what do you need to know to ensure you've got it right?
Love or Lust ?

You know how it feels. You probably don't care why it feels that way. You're just loving it. But you do care about not falling for your partner purely because you lust after them.

Lust is integral with the first part of any sound intimate relationship - it's the infatuation (or romance) stage. But maybe you're now questioning, 'Am I really in love with them, or is it just lust?'

The problem you face, if you're asking this question from within that first part of a relationship, is - it's almost impossible to work out the answer once you're in it!

Ideally, you'd have worked out well before you start dating anyone who you need to get with in order to be truly compatible. If you haven't done that then I suggest you need to do it now.
Why is this important?

Because the difference between a relationship that turns into love and one that ends at lust is compatibility.

Lust is all centred around your 'sexual compatibility'. If your partner's face and physique fits your map of what's gorgeous, if they talk, move and communicate in a way that pushes your buttons, then you have lust. And I know how fantastic that feels!

However, if you lack the compatibility on other levels, then when the chemicals start to fade from your body, the lust will disappear and you'll be left with someone who you probably don't even fancy any more and certainly don't love.

Of course, it's possible to fall in love with someone and not be fully compatible - but that's another issue! What I'm really saying is that a relationship that's about lust is almost wholly based around the element of 'sexual compatibility'. And that's not enough for a truly loving relationship.

So what are your options at this point in time?

1. Wait till the lust dies down and see what's left
2. Work out if you're compatible with your current partner

~ Is This Love I’m Feeling? ~

2010-12-05T01:38:00.002+08:00

Is This Love I’m Feeling? :

“Love is a serious mental disease.” At least that’s how Plato put it.
And while anyone who’s ever been ‘in love’ might see some truth to this statement, there is a critical mistake made here. Love is not a mental disease. Desire is.

If being ‘in love’ means our lives are in pieces and we are completely broken, miserable, utterly consumed, hardly able to function, and willing to sacrifice everything, chances are it’s not love. Despite what we are taught in popular culture, true love is not supposed to make us like drug addicts.

And so, contrary to what we’ve grown up watching in movies, that type of all-consuming obsession is not love. It goes by a different name. It is hawa—the word used in the Quran to refer to one’s lower, vain desires and lusts. Allah describes the people who blindly follow these desires as those who are most astray:

“But if they answer you not, then know that they only follow their own lusts (hawa). And who is more astray than the one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah?” (28: 50)

By choosing to submit to our hawa over the guidance of Allah, we are choosing to worship those desires. When our love for what we crave is stronger than our love for Allah, we have taken that which we crave as a lord. Allah says:

“Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah, as equal (with Allah): They love them as they should love Allah. But those of Faith are overflowing in their love for Allah.” (2:165)

If our ‘love’ for something makes us willing to give up our family, our dignity, our self-respect, our bodies, our sanity, our peace of mind, our deen, and even our Lord who created us from nothing, know that we are not ‘in love’. We are slaves.

Of such a person Allah says:

“Do you see such a one as takes his own vain desires (hawa) as his lord? Allah has, knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. (45: 23)

Imagine the severity. To have one’s sight, hearing and heart all sealed. Hawa is not pleasure. It is a prison. It is a slavery of the mind, body and soul. It is an addiction and a worship. Beautiful examples of this reality can be found throughout literature. In Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations, Pip exemplifies this point. In describing his obsession with Estella, he says: “I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”

Dickens’ Miss Havisham describes this further: “I’ll tell you…what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter – as I did!”

What Miss Havisham describes here is in fact real. But it is not real love. It is hawa. Real love, as Allah intended it, is not a sickness or an addiction. It is affection and mercy. Allah says in His book:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (30: 21)

Real love brings about calm—not inner torment. True love allows you to be at peace with yourself and with God. That is why Allah says: “that you may dwell in tranquility.” Hawa is the opposite. Hawa will make you miserable. And just like a drug, you will crave it always, but never be satisfied. You will chase it to your own detriment, but never reach it. And though you submit your whole self to it, it will never bring you happiness.

So while ultimate happiness is everyone’s goal, it is often difficult to see past the illusions and discern love from hawa. One fail-safe way, is to ask yourself this question: Does getting closer to this person that I ‘love’ bring me closer to—or farther from—Allah? In a sense, has this person replaced Allah in my heart?

True or pure love should never contradict or compete with one’s love for Allah. It should strengthen it. That is why true love is only possible within the boundaries of what Allah has made permissible. Outside of that, it is nothing more than hawa, to which we either submit or reject. We are either slaves to Allah, or slaves to our hawa. It cannot be both.

Only by struggling against false pleasure, can we attain true pleasure. They are by definition mutually exclusive. For that reason, the struggle against our desires is a prerequisite for the attainment of paradise. Allah says:

“But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful] inclination, then indeed, Paradise will be [his] refuge.” (Qur’an, 79: 40-41)

~ Pain, Loss, and the Path to God ~

2010-12-03T17:44:00.001+08:00

Pain, Loss, and the Path to God :-

“ When someone beats a rug with a stick, he is not beating the rug – his aim is to get rid of the dust. Your inward is full of dust from the veil of ‘I’-ness, and that dust will not leave all at once. With every cruelty and every blow, it departs little by little from the heart’s face, sometimes in sleep and sometimes in wakefulness.” (Rumi)

So often we experience things in life, and yet never see the connections between them. When we are given a hardship, or feel pain, we often fail to consider that that experience may be the direct cause or result of another action or experience. Sometimes we fail to recognize the direct connection between the pain in our lives and our relationship with Allah (swt).

That pain and adversity serves many purposes in life. Times of hardship can act as both an indication as well as a cure, for our broken relationship with our Creator.

Times of difficulty test our faith, our fortitude and our strength. During these times, the level of our iman becomes manifest. Adversity strips away our masks, revealing the truth behind mere declaration of faith. Hardships separate those whose declaration is true from those who are false.

Allah says:

“ Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tested? But We have certainly tested those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars ” (Qur’an, 29:2-3).

Hardships test us. But hardships can also be a blessing and a sign of Allah’s love. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“ Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity ” [Bukhari].

And yet most people cannot fathom how adversity could possibly be good. Many do not recognize that hardship is in fact a purifier, which brings people back to their Lord. What happens to the arrogant who are suddenly put in a situation they cannot control? What happens to a man who finds himself stranded on the ocean in the middle of a storm? What happens when the ship that is ‘unsinkable’ becomes the tale of the Titanic?

These perceived misfortunes are in fact wake up calls. They humble. They shake. They remind us of how small we are, and how Great God is. And in that way they awaken us from the slumber of our deceptions, our heedlessness, our wandering, and bring us back to our Creator. Hardships strip away the veil of comfort from our eyes, and remind us of what we are and where we’re going.

Allah (swt) says:

“…And We tested them with good [times] and bad that perhaps they would return [to obedience]” (Qur’an, 7:168). In another ayah, Allah (swt) explains: “And We sent no Prophet to any town (and they denied him), but We seized its people with suffering from extreme poverty (or loss in wealth) and loss of health and calamities, so that they might humiliate themselves (and repent to Allah)” (Qur’an, 7:94).

This lesson in humility purifies the human soul so much so that Allah (swt) comforts the believers in the Qur’an, assuring them that any pain they encounter is intended to elevate and honor them. He says:

“ If a wound should touch you – there has already touched the [opposing] people a wound similar to it. And these days [of varying conditions] We alternate among the people so that Allah may make evident those who believe and [may] take to Himself from among you martyrs – and Allah does not like the wrongdoers – And that Allah may purify the believers [through trials] and destroy the disbelievers. Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while Allah has not yet made evident those of you who fight in His cause and made evident those who are steadfast? ” (Qur’an, 3:140-142).

It is that very battle to purify the self which is the essence of the upward path to God. It begins with self-sacrifice, and is paved by the sweat of struggle.

It is this path, which God describes when He says:

“Oh mankind! Verily you are ever toiling on towards your Lord – painfully toiling – but you shall meet Him.” (Qur’an, 84:6).

~ A Mother's Heart ~

2010-11-18T15:01:00.005+08:00

A mother's heart .....

“A mother's heart is always with her children.” ........ thats what a proverb said ..
and its the truth ...
I waited for my son to come back from work ... he is doing part-time job, beside his office work ... yeah I understand, he wanted to earn extra cash hoping to get married next year, insyallah ..

I heard my son knocking my door and calling my name ......
Ohh ! I had a bad dream and screaming " Yaa Allah " ... thats what my son told me.
He heard me screaming as he entered the house ... astagfirullah hal adzim ! ...
That was such a bad dream .. and I looked at my mobile ... its nearly 3.00 am ..

We had a talk ... heart to heart talk .......
We never got a chance to talk or discuss anything ... coz early in the morning he will be at the office, then after work he goes straight to his part-time job... coming by midnight ... so we never got a chance ...
we talked untill nearly 4.00 am ...
I asked him to go to sleep and dont forget about morning prayer.

My kids such a special gift for me .. truly I'm blessed to have them ..
Thank you Allah .... for giving me such a wonderful kids, who are a good listener and always there when I need them ......

~ The 14 guidance of human life....~

2010-09-20T04:01:00.002+08:00

The 14 guidance of human life ....

Life’s greatest enemy is our self

Life’s greatest failure is arrogant

Life’s greatest ignorance is dupe

Life’s greatest sorrow is jealousy

Life’s greatest erroneous is self-abandon

Life’s greatest admiration is choice of advancing

Life’s greatest gratification is alms

Life’s greatest wealth is healthiness

Life’s greatest gift is forgiveness

Life’s greatest pitiable disposition is self-abased

Life’s greatest sin is to deceive oneself

Life’s greatest liabilities is a debt of human sympathy

Life’s greatest imperfection is melancholy wisdom

Life’s greatest insolvent is despair

( http://authspot.com/thoughts/)

~ Less Is More ~

2010-08-19T07:57:00.003+08:00

Fear less, hope more;
Eat less, chew more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Hate less, love more
and all good things are yours.......insyallah

~ Emptiness ~

2010-07-31T00:04:00.004+08:00

Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah.
And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah
and being true to Him.

And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him
and always remembering Him .

And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.

(Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya )

~ Loneliness and Aloneness ~

2010-07-26T23:12:00.002+08:00

Loneliness and Aloneness .........

When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely - and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. Loneliness is a negative state. You are feeling that it would have been better if the other were there - your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband. It would have been good if the other were there, but the other is not. Loneliness is absence of the other.

Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

This has been said again and again, down through the ages. All the religious people have been saying this: "We come alone into this world, we go alone." All togetherness is illusory. The very idea of togetherness arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. We want to drown our aloneness in relationship....That's why we become so much involved in love.

Try to see the point. Ordinarily you think you have fallen in love with a woman or with a man because she is beautiful, he is beautiful. That is not the truth. The truth is just the opposite: you have fallen in love because you cannot be alone. You were going to fall. You were going to avoid yourself somehow or other. And there are people who don't fall in love with women or men--then they fall in love with money. They start moving into money or into a power trip, they become politicians. That too is avoiding your aloneness.

If you watch man, if you watch yourself deeply, you will be surprised--all your activities can be reduced to one single source. The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.

Aloneness .....

Loneliness and aloneness
they are not the same

for the shell of the mind
hears echoes of many seas

it hears the calling of gulls
from this savage sky

and an ebbing tide
lapping the small white stones.

~ The Divine Being.~

2010-07-03T23:03:00.001+08:00

The Divine Being .....

If a person goes through his whole life most cleverly judging others, he may go on, but he will find himself to be more foolish at every step. At the end, he reaches the fullness of stupidity. But the one who tries, tests, studies and observes himself, his own attitude in life, his own outlook on life, his thought, speech, and action, who weighs and measures and teaches himself self discipline., it is that person who is able to understand another better. How rarely one sees a soul who concerns himself with himself through life, in order to know! Mostly, every soul seems to be busily occupied with the lives of others. And what do they know in the end? Nothing. If there is a kingdom of God to be found anywhere, it is within oneself.

And it is, therefore, in the knowledge of self that there lies the fulfillment of life. The knowledge of self means the knowledge of one's body, the knowledge of one's mind, the knowledge of one's spirit; the knowledge of the spirit's relation to the body and the relation of the body to the spirit; the knowledge of one's wants and needs, the knowledge of one's virtues and faults; knowing what we desire and how to attain it, what to pursue and what to renounce. And when one dives deep into this, one finds before one a world of knowledge which never ends. And it is that knowledge which gives one insight into human nature and brings one to the knowledge of the whole of creation. And in the end one attains to the knowledge of the divine Being.

~ The Sage ~

2010-06-30T23:06:00.001+08:00

The Sage .......

There was a famous sage called, Sadat, who lived high up in the Himalayan Mountains, far away from humanity. He choose a simple life and spent most of his time meditating. People from all over the globe would travel for days on end to meet him and ask for his advice.

Once such a group of people approached sage Sadat with their problems, but they were unruly and fought amongst each other, because all of them wanted to speak first. Sage Sadat, a peaceful man, watched the commotion and finally said out loud, "Silence!"

The people were awe-struck and immediately kept quiet. Then sage Sadat said, "Sit down in a circle on the ground and await my return!"

He went into his little cottage and soon returned with some sheets of paper, pens, and a small cane basket. He passed out the paper and pens, and placed the basket in the middle of the circle. Then he told the people to write down the one most important problem they were troubled by and put it in the basket.

When everyone had finished, the sage shook the papers in the basket so as to mix them and calmly said, "Now pass the basket around and pick up which ever paper is on top. Read the problem and if you choose, make it your own or take back your own problem."

One by one the people picked out a paper and read each other's problems and were horrified. They came to the conclusion that their worst problem no matter how bad, was better than the next person's problem. Within minutes each of them exchanged their problems, and when they finally had their original paper in hand they felt content. They thanked the sage Sadat and went on their way.

Note: All of us have problems which we complain about and think are great, until we realize that someone else's are greater! Right?

...oneness...

~ The Magic Keys ~

~ Fear ~

~ The Uncertainty of Certainty ~

~ Afraid ~

~ Hurting inside ~

~ Gifts ~

~ A Beauty of Life ~

~ Enriching Thoughts ~

~ A Heart Full Of Love ~

~ Life Is All Just But A Game ~

Give It Some Thoughts ~

~ The Expression Of Love.......... ~

~ Know Yourself ~

~ Delight ~

~ Finding Balance in Life ~

~ Wasted Time ~

~ Be Strong ~

Never think hard about past, It brings tears.Don't think more about future, It brings fears.Live this moment with a smile, It brings cheers..

~ Searching .... Wondering ..... Surrender ...~

~ To All Lovers ~

~ Sacrifice ~

~ Awareness ~

~ Anger ~

~ An Appointment ~

~ Understanding ~

~ Reality ~

~ Emotion ~

~ Excuses ~

Why Do We Make Excuses?

How Does it Feel Being Dishonest?

Stop Making Excuses.

~ Solitude ~

~ The Gifts ~

~ Reflection ~

~ Burden ~

~ A Slice of Life ~

~ Lessons Life Taught Me ~

~ Persistence ~

1. Breakthroughs happen everyday ;

2. Surge to the finish line ;

3. The moment is yours ;

4. Adopt a survivor mentality ;

5. Never forget the tortoise ;

~ Memories ~

~ Marriage ~

~ Good Marriage ~

~ Integrity ~

~ A Real Sad Story ~

~ Live Your Life ~

~ Be Kind To Yourself ~

~ Relationship ~

~ TEN SECRETS ~

~ Two Horses ~

~ Appreciation ~

~ The Story of life ~

~ Love ~

~ What do women want ?~

~ To Heal The Pain of Divorce ~

~ Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage ~

~ Marriage ~

~ When We Look Back ~

~ Colors You Wear Reflect Your Mood ~

~ Relationship Paradigm ~

~ What Makes a Man? ~

~ Unclaimed Baggage ~

~ The 4 Stages of Relationships ~

The 4 Stages of Relationships :

~ Are They Really Your Friend? ~

Are They Really Your Friend? ..........

~ Don't Forget To ~

Don't Forget To...

~ The story of the 256 old year man ~

~ The ant and the contact lense ~

The ant and the contact lense ...........

~ Beauty ~

~ What are you looking for in life?~

~ I Don't Mind What Happens ~

“I DON’T MIND WHAT HAPPENS”

~ How To Accept People And Situations In Our Life ~

Never think hard about past, It brings tears.
Don't think more about future, It brings fears.
Live this moment with a smile, It brings cheers..