began by “Wendy” ...............
I’m a woman, divorced after 7 years of marriage. I read your post and appreciate the heart behind the advice. The fact that you you recognize the part you played in the scheme of things is a feat in itself. Being able to face the past with openness and humility is admirable and not something many can, or even want, to accomplish.
Given my experience, there are some key concepts I learned in my journey as well. We women have equal responsibility in making a marriage work. For all the points mentioned for husbands, there are perhaps also some for wives I would like to share.
1. Seek counsel from older, wiser women who have succeeded in their marriages. It’s impossible to make good decisions when we’re emotional. And seeking counsel from your friends who are your own age isn’t as good as counsel from elderly women.
2. Never forget or take for granted that your man chose you.
3. Always seek out the best in him. Dwell on those things, not what you don't like about him.
4. It’s not your job to change or fix him. We are all on a journey.
5. We are responsible for our reactions, no one else. We must take full accountability of our emotions and how we respond. And so must he.
6. Allow your man to just be. Be a comfort, be a gentle and giving spirit when the times call for it.
7. Love him in the way he needs it, not the way you assume he needs it. Find out your different love languages and be sensitive and ready to show him you love him in ways he understands best.
8. Be present. Give him your time and attention when he needs it. In my experience, during those times I did serve him, he over time, served me.
9. Be willing to have him sexually. Let him know you need his masculine presence, that you trust him fully.
10. Give him space. He needs times to find his new self (we change constantly) before he can give of himself.
11. Be vulnerable. Do not be afraid to share your fears and feelings. Men tend to know when we’re keeping things from them. And they know when we’re transparent. And, I can’t emphasize this more: acknowledge your mistakes. Say you’re sorry when you know you need to.
12. Do not be afraid to be fully transparent. This builds great trust over time.
13. Find common hobbies, goals and dreams. Also, find common ground in your faith. Never stop growing together. Laugh lots. Fall in love over and over again.
14. Don’t let financial issues come between you.
15. Forgive. Don’t let history hold you or your man hostage.
16. Always, choose love. Love is action, not emotion. Don’t miss that.
1 comment:
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