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A life of love is one of continual growth, where the doors and windows
of experience are always open to the wonder and magic that life offers.
To love is to risk living fully.
You may have the "capacity" to love, but if left undeveloped, you will never gain the "ability."
We take love for granted. We assume we are all perfect lovers and all
we need do is wait and our love will grow and blossom as readily as a
flower in spring. Not so. Love doesn't grow unless we do. It takes
patience, knowledge, experience, determination, and every positive trait
we possess. In addition, love is always changing and unless we stay
aware and change with it, it eludes us.
We are born for love, but it will die if not nurtured.
Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.
Time and Space .....
Time to be alone
Space to move about
These may well become the great scarcities of tomorrow .......
“ Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you
have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without
the fear of losing something.............”
" People may not remember what you said, or what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel."
You may have heard that before, but when you really think about it,
you will realise that you actually have great power and responsibility
in each of your day to day interactions.
Whether it is a business or social conversation, by thinking about
what you say, and how you deliver the message, you have the power to
make a great connection.
You have the power to contribute something meaningful, and you also have the power to be hurtful.
Always use your power for good and speak with a kind heart.
1. Speak Thoughtfully
While your words may not be remembered years later, choose them carefully.
If the saying “you are only as good as your word” is true, than it
only makes sense to speak good words, or words that reflect who you
really are.
“Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.” – Buddha
2. Speak Kindly
Being kind doesn’t mean that you can’t make your point. Being kind
doesn’t mean that you can’t be direct. Being kind will show that you
care, regardless of the message.
By sharing your compassion, you might change how someone feels about themselves or a situation.
3. Listen
If you are only thinking about what you are going to say next, you are missing half of the conversation!
If you ask a question, wait patiently for the answer. Even 10 seconds of no talking can seem like an eternity.
“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” – Mark Twain
We often like to fill up empty space, especially quiet, empty space, but don’t be afraid of silence.
Sometimes, it is in that quietness that the really good stuff starts to happen.
4. Reserve Judgement
Before you enter a conversation, especially with someone you don’t know very well, it is easy to make a snap judgement.
Before words even come out of their mouth, you have likely formed an opinion.
This may be because of the way they are dressed, a look you thought they gave you, or a story you heard about them.
Make a point to let that go, so you can really hear what they are
saying. Do what you need to do to think of them in a loving way.
It might help to think about their family. Are they a father? A daughter? Who loves them?
Giving 30 seconds to think this through will really humanise the conversation.
If you consciously think about the fact that they are in this world,
trying to make a great life, just like you, then you will be more
invested in the interaction.
5. Be honest
Speak with integrity and tell the truth. If the truth hurts, be compassionate, but be honest.
This goes especially for business conversations. It’s natural to want
to be nice instead of honest, especially if someone is trying to sell
you something you don’t need or want. Your honesty will save everyone
time.
This is especially important in more serious conversations, for
instance, breaking up business or personal relationships, when you say
(in so many words), “You are not for me”.
Remember you aren’t saying, “You are not for anyone.”
It is important to get that message across. Just because a person,
business, or product is not right for you, doesn’t mean that they are
not perfect for someone else.
Don’t say everything -
some things really are better left unsaid.
6. Consider another opinion
Make sure your argument isn’t about being right. Perhaps there is an option or opinion that really is better than yours.
This doesn’t make your opinion less valid, and your openness to a new idea, will likely turn into a new opportunity.
7. Don’t yell
Once you raise your voice, your words become irrelevant.
Once you yell, you are talking at someone, not with
them. When you yell, the only thing someone else is thinking is, “I
can’t believe they are yelling.” or “What a jerk.” or some variation of
that.
When you yell, you lose control and make the conversation about something completely different.
Instead, when you feel like yelling, lower your voice. Speak softly.
You will likely get the point across in a more profound way.
If speaking softly doesn’t work for you, be quiet. Collect your
thoughts, take a deep breath, walk away or do something that will
distract you from yelling.
8. Say thank you
There is always time before, during and after a conversation to say thank you.
Thank you for meeting me here. Thank you for bringing that up. Thank
you for taking the time to talk. Thanks for the inspiration.
If nothing else, a simple, thanks for your time applies every time.
The way forward – always walk and talk with a kind heart
Conversations happen all the time, but they don’t always happen with a kind heart.
“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word
and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be
well.” – Gandhi
If you approach every conversation as an opportunity to learn
something new and to treat someone with respect, instead of as a time to
speak your mind, your message will be heard, loud and clear.
You will be trusted and more importantly, you really will be as good as your word.
( I copied this letter written by Jiah Khan ( Bollywood actress known as Nafisa Khan )who committed suicide on 3rd june 2013 ......... . So sad , and touched by the content of her letter .......... I can feel the pain and the suffering ......... I wished I could say to her .... you're not alone .. Truly you're not alone! ... I wished to say to her ... you're not yet losing everything ... look around and see how the others also suffered the same ..... but in different manner ..... I understand the feeling of being abandon by the one you loved ......... the pain of heartbreak ...... the pain gave you an impact on your life ... truly I understand and I have been through all that .......... all of us will be tested by Allah ... )
To all guys .. I would like to say ..... PLEASE VALUE THE LOVE OF YOUR WOMEN .... THEY ARE NOT TOYS .... BE LOYAL TO THEM . SPECIALLY TO ALL HUSBANDS ..... PLEASE DON'T COMPARE YOUR WIVES TO OTHER WOMEN .. THEY ARE UNIQUE ... TAKE CARE AND BE RESPONSIBLE TO YOUR FAMILY ... BE A LEADER IN A FAMILY .. LEAD YOUR WIFE WITH LOVING WORDS .... NOT CHEATING AND LIES ..... THEIR HEART ARE SO FRAGILE ...... )
..................................................................................................................................
( LETTER WRITTEN BY JIAH KHAN .......... MAY ALLAH FORGIVE HER )
" I don't know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I
have nothing to lose. I've already lost everything. If you're reading
this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside.
You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I
lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday.
These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There
was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered
my dreams. I feel dead inside. I've never given so much of myself to
someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies.
It didn't matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for
you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the
pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me,
destroyed my soul.
I can't eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from
everything. The career is not even worth it anymore. When I first met
you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love
I thought would bring out the best in me. I don't know why destiny
brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the
torture I have seen previously I didn't deserve this.
I didn't see any love or commitment from you. I just became
increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your
life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay
here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career
and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you.
About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you.
You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I
am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to
feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as
much as I did or love you as much as I did.
I can write that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here,
but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when
the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens o hit you or cheats
on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their
house when you have no where to go and you've come to them out of love
or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their
car. Or disrespects their family. You never even met my sister.
I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason
to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I
was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is
destroyed my happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best
for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment.
You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no
confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you
took it all away.
You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for
ten days and you didn't bother buying me something. The Goa trip was my
birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I
aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and
my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make
your birthday special.
You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me
once we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want in life
is partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you
and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you
selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have
nothing left in this world to live for after this.
I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I
dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams
and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up
again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with
you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than
this."
When a bird is alive, it eats ants.
When the bird is dead, ants eat the bird.
Time and circumstances can change at any time.
Let’s not devalue or hurt anyone in life.
We may be powerful today.
But remember, Time is more powerful.
One tree makes a million match sticks.
But when time comes, Only one match stick is needed to burn a million trees.
So let’s be good and do good.
How far you go in life
depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the
aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong.
Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.