Wednesday, March 28, 2012

~ How Much Longer ? ~

Sadness Comments

If pain must come, may it come quickly.
Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best possible.
If he has to make a choice, may he make it now.
Then I will either wait for him or forget him.
Waiting is painful.
Forgetting is painful, but not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

It's hard being left behind and abandon by someone whom you love so much.
I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling,
knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.

When you chose to follow the way of purity, did you expect it to be easy?
When you decided to wait for the best, did you think that waiting would be fun?
Did you think that your faith would not be tested?
When you decided to take the narrow path, did no one warn you that difficulties, hardship, and tears would be part of the journey, and that you would often face rejection from others and be forced to walk alone?

There is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them.
But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to wait and be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.

Friday, March 23, 2012

~ Have Faith ~

" You might be married to the worst man on earth, like Asiah who married Pharoah, but it didn’t change her goodness or her ‘aqeedah. You might be married to the best man on earth, like Prophet Lut’s wife, yet that doesn’t mean you’re going to Jannah with him. You might not be married at all, like our beloved Maryam (raa) yet Allah swt places your status above all other women on earth.Have faith in Allah always & place your full trust in Him. He’s the central focal point of our lives. "

Thursday, March 22, 2012

~ The Girl With The Plastic Face ~

There was a normal looking girl who wanted to be beautiful. She was beautiful in a way with her light brown hair, fresh natural face and a pleasant smile. But she was jealous of other girls, who looked more glamorous, and she decided to find ways of making herself more beautiful. But no matter how hard she tried, she could never look more attractive and this reality caused her great sadness and disappointment.

One day, she decided to find a surgeon who could alter her appearance by placing a layer of plastic over her face, which could be molded in such a way to give her the look she wanted. This had never been done before and so it took a team of surgeons to perform the surgery. They invented a type of plastic that could be grafted to the skin and shaped within the first hour of its application, but afterwards would remain permanent.

When the surgeons were finished everyone was amazed. She looked like a doll. Not to say she was attractive. Well, she was in an artificial looking way, but she had the appearance of a store bought doll. Her facial skin was smooth and was hard like glass.

She was in the media spotlight for days after her transformation. The whole world was interested in this girl's miraculous change. No one really thought this new look was an improvement; as a matter of fact, most people thought she was hideous. But everyone pretended that she looked beautiful and to like the emperor's new clothes. No one ever said anything to the contrary.
No handsome young men ever dated her; no homely ones did either.

She grew old and her skin began to wrinkle everywhere, except her face.
One sad and depressing day, she died of loneliness and no one came to her funeral. She had long since been interesting and the only thing she had to show for her life was a wrinkled body of skin, hidden by an artificial, hard shell mask that covered her face.

Since no one attended her funeral, the minister shut the coffin lid and buried her, by passing the funeral service altogether.
What she never realized was that she had sparked a trend and now many women had hard shell masks instead of their natural looking faces and everybody pretended that this change was beautiful and so it was widely accepted throughout the world.

Everybody played the game and so no one was ever the wiser's literally.

Moral: The only reason someone would want another face, is because they cannot face the face they have.

(by: Mark Edgemon)

~ Close Your Eyes ... In Order To See ~

- Don’t force yourself to have space in a person’s life that doesn’t recognize your worth. Instead use the time and energy that you want to dedicate to people of this nature in an effort to better yourself. Work on yourself, and work on the other relationships that matter to you, so that you may easily become the best you by the end of your lifetime.

- A woman is not a ball, that you can kick around whenever you like ...

- Blessings alone do not open our eyes. We do not come to know Him in the blessing, but in the breaking.......

- People get hurt all the time, and if a person is hurt enough, a wall begins to form around their heart. For every time they are hurt, the wall around their heart grows stronger and taller...

- Do you believe a man can truly love a woman and constantly betray her?...

- A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard and harsh words bruise the heart forever ...

- Why is there ever this perverse cruelty in humankind, that makes us hurt most those we love best?

- Doubts destroys relationships. Leaving the soul empty Chilled with the illness Of mistrust ........

- Sometimes ... bad experienced may hardened the heart ....

- "Sweets" words are bad for your soul ... especially comes from fake people ..

- We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.....

- To forget someone who have hurt you ... think all the bad things they had done .. forgive n forget ...

- In life just don't trust people, who change their feelings with time ....

Instead ... trust those people whose feelings remains the same, when the time changes ..

- I have learned now that while those who speak about ones miseries usually hurt, but those who keep silence hurt more....

- Outside, the ocean was crashing, waves hitting sand, then pulling back to sea. I thought of everything being washed away, again and again. We make such messes in this life, both accidentally and on purpose. But wiping the surface clean doesn't really make anything neater. It just masks what is below. It's only when you really dig down deep, go underground, that you can see who you really are.

- If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.

- I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.

- Trust is like a piece of paper, you can crumble it up, and straighten it again but it will never be perfect.

- As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

- The hardest things to say are the ones that mean the most.

- You’ll never know pain, until you look into the eyes of someone you love, and they look away.

- Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy…sometimes it just means you’re strong.

- No one falls in love by choice, its by CHANCE. And no one falls out of love by chance, its CHOICE.

- Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.

- There comes a point in your life when u realize who REALLY matters, who NEVER did, and who ALWAYS will.

- Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

~ 40 Things a Man Must Know About Life, Love and Women ~

b Gillis Triplett

Smart men understand that they must be prepared for life, love and women. These 40 nuggets of wisdom provide you with the necessary information you’ll need to live and enjoy life to the fullest.

  1. Bad decisions have ruined many a man’s life. You can avoid heart piercing regret by thinking things through before you act

  2. A fundamental understanding of the female psyche is a must for all men – this information will save you much heartache and pain

  3. Unfortunately, the world is filled with females who will dash your dreams and ruin your life. Therefore choose your mate wisely

  4. No matter what it looks like, in the end you will always reap what sow. Always!

  5. Learn the difference between true love and pure lust as early in life as possible. This crucial info will help you avoid sex traps

  6. If a woman walks out of your life, LET HER GO!

  7. We live in a different day: economically, globally, politically and socially. How things are today are not like they were ten or twenty years ago. Don’t live based on yesterday’s information. Know your history, but live in the future.

  8. Many females harbor anger and malice against the entire male gender. They seek out vengeance by putting nice men through the: divorce, domestic violence, family and child support courts. Learn how to recognize these females lest you become the next recipient of their cunning unforgiving wrath – Exclamation point!

  9. Be chivalrous in victory and gracious in defeat

  10. Don’t allow negative people to creep into your life. They thrive on stunting the growth of others with their fatalistic pessimism. You have too much to live for, stay away from their negativity!

  11. Learn how to hear and know God’s voice. He’s a great conversationalist and His wisdom will astound you

  12. It is better to have a broken engagement, than to go from one flesh to torn flesh

  13. Be quick to hear and slow to speak; know when to talk and when to listen. Obey these laws and you will go far in life

  14. It’s the law of nature; the alpha male always gets the girl. Don’t whine about it. Stand up, girt your loins like a man and become an alpha male!

  15. Never make friends with an angry woman, NEVER!

  16. Become intimately familiar with first and greatest Commandment of all Commandments

  17. Every female who claims to believe in God IS NOT telling the truth! Know how to discern the difference or you will pay dearly

  18. Sex is not a sport and females are not trophies. Treat the opposite sex with respect and honor – your life will be blessed!

  19. If a she lies to you once, shame on her, if she lies to you twice, shame on you. A third time and you are a glutton for punishment

  20. If you hate your job, find another one and then resign

  21. Learn how to bounce back from setbacks, failures and losses

  22. Condoms do not constitute “Safe sex.” They never have and they never will

  23. Don’t tell a woman you love her unless you truly mean it

  24. Learn how to pray to get results

  25. Know how to respond properly when people treat you bad

  26. Never put your trust in an untrustworthy woman, NEVER!

  27. You control your destiny. Do it with the utmost planning, execution and passion

  28. You cannot change people, SO STOP TRYING!

  29. If you are unhappy with your life, don’t complain, change it!

  30. If you don’t know the fundamentals of acquiring and maintaining wealth – stop what you’re doing and LEARN THEM NOW!

  31. Know how to respond when people let you down

  32. Sin is pleasurable for a season, but when that season is over, know this for a certainty; you are going to pay dearly!

  33. Right or wrong, true or false, good or bad, people are always going to have opinions about you. Don’t be moved by their words

  34. All real men know how to walk away and save face. It’s a clear sign that they have reached true manhood

  35. Know the art of communication frontward and backwards; it becomes a valuable commodity in love and marriage

  36. Don’t play games with a female’s emotions or feelings. You could damage her psyche for life and some other man will pay dearly for your indiscretions

  37. Women who swear and use curse words make for abrasive and contentious spouses. Don’t date or marry them, just walk away

  38. When times get tough and pressure becomes unbearable, remember this irrefutable truth… storms NEVER last forever

  39. There are certain things in life that you cannot change, accept that truth and STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THEM!

  40. If you don’t believe in God, heaven or hell, you better be right!

Monday, March 12, 2012

~ 40 Things Every Woman Must Know About Men, Love, Sex and Relationships ~

by( Gillis Triplett )

Most women learn about men, love, sex and relationships the hard way. They walk down the highly traveled, worn out path of emotional scars, broken hearts, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights. When it comes to learning the hard way, you can get to know a great deal about men, love, sex and relationships, but most women who have traveled that path will tell you, “The price is too high and the consequences and lingering effects are way to painful!” Smart women understand this irrefutable truth.

They know there is an easier less complicated way to obtain the vital information they need to know about the opposite sex. Ladies, these 40 nuggets of wisdom and sage advice will help set you on the right path to finding and experiencing true love. Share these life-saving truths with every woman you know. They will forever thank you!

  1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

  2. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and stand as champions for your spiritual, mental and physical well-being; choose an honorable man and choose life!

  3. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adieu and don’t look back!

  4. This is a true saying: “The soul of a woman is fragile.” Please note: dishonorable males refuse to respect this crucial truth. They will toy with a woman’s emotions without any semblance of concern or compassion. Therefore YOU must guard your heart from these cold-hearted males with all diligence.

  5. Good men need to be treated like good men, dishonorable males, need to be let go and left alone!

  6. OK ladies; you’ve met this great guy, but he’s got a child or children for which he does not take care of, provide for or see to. Follow these instructions to the letter: urgently send him back to the mother(s) of his child(ren) and don’t look back. Don’t make the same mistake the mother(s) of his child(ren) did!

  7. Dishonorable males treat sex as a sport, females as trophies and children they sire as wastepaper. Never allow yourself to become their next score, mantle piece or sperm repository.

  8. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts!

  9. Choose the wrong mate and you might as well have laid next to a boa constrictor or grabbed the ears of a raging mad pit bull. A smart woman learns how to choose her mate wisely!

  10. Heed the sage advice of some caring brothers and honorable men. If he doesn’t fit - don’t force him, just relax and let him go. Destiny is on your side… TRUE LOVE will find you!

  11. Momma’s boys belong with only one type of woman; their moms! Ladies, these mothers and their sons will never cut their grotesque umbilical cord. Therefore, for your sake, leave them alone and just let them trot home to their mommies.

  12. Self-love: if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you… no matter how great a man he is.

  13. Don’t judge ALL men by one man’s actions; unless you want ALL men to judge you based on the acts of amoral women.

  14. Most women learn how to choose a mate the hard way; they go through a gut wrenching string of emotionally detached males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players. Don’t become one of those heart broken and bitter women! Learn how to properly choose a mate before it’s too late! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you!

  15. You wondering, “If I move in with him, is he going to marry me?” Answer: “Not likely!” Don’t believe it, take these two critical tests: (a). Ask any honorable man! And, (b). Examine the ever-growing list of disillusioned women who are begrudgingly waiting for their non-committal live-in lovers to pop the big question.

  16. Do you keep attracting men who are dogs? Check the scent you’re putting out. Men who are dogs are attracted by scent!

  17. You are not a man! Therefore, you will never be: a role model for men, a father figure, a man’s mentor or a man’s coach. If a man has lacked proper male leadership in his life, kindly send him on his way. Know for a certainty; he is not prepared for the responsibilities that come with love, sex, relationship and marriage.

  18. If you don’t know what a misogynistic man is, take this time to check your dictionary. For your sake, sanity and safety, avoid these treacherous males at all costs.

  19. Don’t ever delude yourself! Your beauty, fine body, sexual prowess, cooking skills, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER!

  20. If your potential mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions; take notes ladies... those are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you!

  21. Angry, bitter, hostile, combative, unforgiving single women, become: angry, bitter, hostile and combative, unforgiving wives. Don't be .

  22. A fundamental understanding and respect of the male ego is a must for all women who want a vibrant and healthy love; DO NOT obtain this crucial information from dishonorable males or from angry bitter women.

  23. If you choose to be with dishonorable males, pimps, players, thugs, ballers and shot callers, you have absolutely no right to complain when they torch your emotions, abuse you, leave you pregnant and alone, jeopardize your safety and otherwise harm or hurt you. Remember, you have freedom of choice and you chose to be with them!

  24. When a man is trying to find himself, kindly bid him adieu… PERMANENTLY! He can find you, but can’t find himself? He shouldn’t be looking for love… he should be searching for the map to Mastering Manhood!

  25. OK; he wants or is demanding sex but you are not his wife. Write this down: There is no need to wonder, debate or contemplate: he DOES NOT honor or respect you!

  26. Spoiled women are like spoiled milk, spoiled meat, spoiled fruit spoiled bread and spoiled brats. Get the picture? Don’t become a spoiled woman!

  27. Expecting a dishonorable male to do the honorable thing is like expecting piranhas not to devour you if you make the mistake of diving into their water.

  28. You’ve asked these questions, “Why doesn’t he call me more often? Why doesn’t he pursue me more diligently and why doesn’t he show me that he loves me?” Answer; he’s not into you! If you don’t let him go and move on with your life, you will allow him to hinder or block your true love from finding you!

  29. All men ARE NOT dogs! Don’t believe, repeat or perpetuate that rampant lie! You will hamper your ability to see and discern the good men who cross your path!

  30. Some males like to hit women. It gives them a sense of power and control. If you give yourself to one of these abusive males, most assuredly you will become a punching bag and a floor mat. It is critical that you learn how to detect and avoid these cretins!

  31. Promiscuous immoral women are not worthy of an honorable man. They never have been and they never will be.

  32. Never allow emotionally embittered women to influence you concerning the male gender. If you do, their hatred and unforgiveness will become yours. Soon you will find yourself suspicious, indignant and angry at all men.

  33. You were not designed, built or destined for abuse, whether: emotionally, physically or financially. If he is an abuser, there is no need to deliberate … he IS NOT the one; leave him now!

  34. Some women live their lives vicariously through the women on “Girlfriends, Sex In The City and Desperate Housewives.” Don’t become one of these women. If you do, you will make a literal mess of your life, emotions, physical body and well-being.

  35. When a man truly loves you, he will honor and respect you. If he doesn't… don’t deceive yourself and don’t allow him to defraud you; he DOES NOT love OR care about you!

  36. Everyone has skeletons in their closet? Wrong! Not everyone has skeletons in their closet. Don’t start putting any in yours!

  37. There is a vast difference between sex and love. Most men know the difference and you had better learn it fast! If you fail or refuse to do so, you are surely headed for relationship or marital crash and burn.

  38. Don’t deceive yourself, once you have sex with a man who is not your husband… he may never admit it, but he has lost a degree of respect for you. Don’t believe it? Ask any honorable man or virtuous woman.

  39. The dismal cycle of breaking up and making up only works out in the romance novels, television shows and movies. If you are riding that emotional roller coaster get off right now! Your heart, mind and soul will forever thank you.

  40. Nothing is more beautiful, captivating, attractive and sensual than a woman with a gentle and peaceable spirit!

~ Why You Feel Guilty ? ~

Ah, feeling guilty. It really does make we feel like a huge weight is on our shoulders the whole time, doesn't it?

I used to think my entire life was run by my feelings of guilt. Everything I did or thought seemed to be governed by how guilty I felt that day.

It also didn’t seem to matter what "it" was. I’d be feeling guilty about everything and anything. Either that I hadn’t done enough or that I’d upset people when I hadn’t meant to or even that I "should" have done something differently. I’d feel guilty about so many things and my life really did seem to be just reacting to one feeling of guilt after another.

It’s very draining and distressing living with a constant feeling of guilt. It also stops us from making the most effective and efficient decisions. In other words, we’ll end up making bad decisions simply because we’re reacting to those feelings of guilt.

So, where does guilt really come from and what causes it? And, how do we deal with feeling guilty all of the time?

I think feeling guilty comes down to basically 7 main reasons and usually you'll be dealing with not just one of these but actually a combination of them:

1. You feel guilty when you're trying to avoid something :

Guilt often comes from trying to avoid something. You don't want people to be mad at you, you don't want to let someone down, you don't want people to be upset because you did something.

To eliminate those feelings of guilt, it really helps if you can take a moment and ask yourself what are you thinking about? Are you thinking about what you don't want (people being mad, etc.) or what you do want? Once you focus on what you do want, then you can start thinking of actual solutions and work towards that. Usually, you'll find that as soon as you start that forwards motion, the feeling of guilt will go away.

Continuing to focus on how guilty you feel will only serve to keep you stuck feeling anxious and confused. I also find that as long as you're focused on the feelings of guilt, it doesn't matter what you do, you're going to feel guilty because that's what you're concentrating on. You'll keep thinking there's something else you should do or keep beating yourself up that you should have done more when you had the chance. You're focused on the guilt instead of the real situation.

If you turn your thoughts to focus on what you want and then ask yourself how can you achieve that, you're able to move forwards. You won't be stuck feeling like there's nothing you can do. You're able to take action which is one of the things that really helps to eliminate those guilt feelings. But, you're not just taking action to relieve your feelings of guilt, you're taking action to solve the real problem or situation.

2. Reacting to a situation instead of choosing your response:

A situation happens and without really thinking about it you react by feeling guilty.

How many times has something happened, and you just instantly think, "I shouldn't have done that" or "It's all my fault" or maybe "I should have known better". You feel guilty for what you've done.

I went through a situation recently where one of my kids was quite sick. I instantly felt guilty because I hadn't spent a lot of time with them recently. So, instead of really considering the situation and what I should do about it, I was suddenly trying to solve the issue of me feeling guilty for what I hadn't done in the past.

You'll notice that point #1 was also coming in to play in this situation in that at first, I was trying to avoid being seen as an uncaring mother .

What I really needed to do was to take the time to take a step back and think about how I wanted to respond to the situation in front of me. I made the decision that I did want to spend some time with them and once I'd done that then I could think of ways to achieve that. What was in the past needed to be left in the past. I needed to move forwards.

The good thing about this was that I could use my guilt as a sign of what I wanted to make as one of my priorities in life. It woke me up to the fact that I want to spend more time with my kids while I still have the chance. So, you can actually use your guilt to realize what changes you want to make in your life. In my case, it was spending time with my kids, but it might make you realize you want to be a better friend or that you want to be more professional in your job or just that you want to do things differently in the future. You use the guilt to make positive changes in your life.

Can you see how easily it is to get caught up in the feelings of guilt and to focus on that instead of the real issue?

Once you ask yourself if you're blindly reacting or calmly choosing how to respond to an event, then you'll be able to decide how you want to proceed. It goes a long way to being able to move past those feelings of guilt. You can think of real solutions. It's a subtle difference but it does make a huge difference. But, you're actually using the guilt instead of just beating yourself up over things that happened in the past.

3. Someone pushing your buttons:

feelings of guilt can push your buttons You feel insecure about a certain aspect of yourself (feel like you're not good enough for example) so when someone says something your emotions react to your inner doubts rather than what's real. So, once you figure out that area that needs to be healed it's far less likely that people will be able to push your buttons.

You're always going to come across those people who are absolute experts at making you feel guilty. They seem to be able to just pick up on what you feel insecure about. So, the trick is to ask yourself why it's making you feel guilty? What's the real issue deep down that's happening? Sometimes, it can be that it brings up a past event where you felt guilty because you hadn't done something then. So, instead of forgiving yourself and learning that you can change how you respond to similar situations, you just remember the guilt from the past.

What's really happening is that you're simply reacting to the other person's words. They don't make you mad or make you feel guilty. You do that yourself by responding to their words. They trigger a deep emotion in you. Once you figure out why you react a certain way to the other person, usually you can find an area within you where you feel less confident and maybe even quite insecure.

Once you deal with those feelings, then you'll notice the comments but you'll no longer react by feeling guilty. Often, even just the awareness of why you previously reacted to certain words will be enough to stop you from continuing to react in the future.

So, basically, sometimes feeling guilty is a sign of an area within you that needs to be looked at or healed. It's that awareness of why you react the way you do. What are the real feelings you're feeling when someone says something? (not good enough, no one will ever love you, not smart enough, etc.) It can actually turn out to be a gift because you can learn so much more about yourself and why you act and react the way you do.

4. Not Forgiving Yourself:

A big aspect of guilt can be because you simply don't allow yourself to make mistakes or you never forgive yourself for things that happened in the past.

Everyone makes mistakes. Every single person on this planet does but for some reason we tend to hold ourselves up to an impossibly high standard and think we should be immune from that.

Making mistakes is what makes us human and it's how we learn. You can learn better ways of doing things or it might even remind you of what your true priorities are. Even when things at first go horribly wrong, later you may realize what huge benefits you gained from going through the experience.

It's not always easy appreciating your mistakes but they truly can end up being the most incredible learning opportunities or the catalysts that end up causing huge leaps in mental and spiritual growth.

You also need to know that you made what you thought was the best decision with the facts you had at the time. You did the best you could. Learning that there are better ways to handle similar situations in the future may be a benefit of going through the situation but you didn't know that at the time.

But, these benefits can't happen if you don't forgive yourself and also allow yourself to make mistakes.

5. Conditioned Response:

Quite likely as you were growing up you learned certain things about the world. How about things like, “You should think of others before yourself” or that you’re selfish if you don’t instantly help people as soon as they ask.

These are beliefs that you’ve taken as truth and you’ve never taken the time to think about whether it’s a good thought for the situation in which you're currently involved.

For example, if you’re on an airplane and it’s just about to crash, your ingrained belief of helping others before yourself could be a disaster in that situation. It would be much more beneficial for you to remember what the flight attendants told you at the beginning of the flight and to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help others. But, you’re used to just reacting in a certain way when a situation occurs. You need to be aware of how you're reacting and why. Is it really the best response or are you doing it just because that's what you've always done?

So again, it comes back down to taking the time to really think about what's happening in the situation and not just blindly reacting.

6. The World "Should" Be A Certain Way:

This is one that causes a lot of grief. Hanging on to those "should's" no matter what makes things so much harder than it needs to be. You'll think something like, "I should have known better", "I shouldn't upset people", "I shouldn't make mistakes". Whenever you catch yourself saying "should" know that it's a clue to why you're in so much pain. Thinking the world should be a certain way is a waste of energy. It's the way it is.

When you catch yourself saying "should" about something, ask yourself how you would feel about the situation if you simply dropped that word? A lot of times, just by doing that, you'll suddenly feel so much better about the situation.

7. Anxiety and Fear:

This goes hand in hand with "#1 Trying To Avoid Something" but it’s a realization that you’re focusing on what you’re afraid of and what you fear will happen if you do or don’t do something. You allow your feelings of anxiety and fear take over your rational thought.

If you're aware of this, then it's easier to let go of all the "what if's...." worrying because you suddenly realize you're focusing on the wrong thing. Let those "what if's" go and concentrate on the real issue at hand without adding the fear of what might happen. If you can do that, then you'll suddenly find the situation is nowhere near as overwhelming as it first appeared. You'll also be able to stop those guilty feelings before they start.

Dealing With Feeling Guilty :

Learning how to deal with guilt comes down to understanding what's really happening behind your feelings of guilt. Once you do that, then you take control over your emotions and you choose how you want to respond. You won't be blindly reacting and finding that nothing you do eases your guilty conscience. This way, you rule your life, not your emotions and fear. You're also back to making the best decisions for you and those you interact with.

It really is a powerful moment when you see behind the simple emotion and realize that you were giving up your own power for no reason. No more feeling guilty, or at least, only for a few short moments until you discover what it's really trying to tell you. Use those emotion so you can confidently move forwards.

Emotions are so valuable if you take the time to listen to them. So, no more struggling with guilt. You now know how to use it to your advantage. Appreciate your feelings of guilt because they really can tell you a lot about what's really going on.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

~ The Answer To Every Question .....~

Love is the answer to every question.
Why are we here? Love.
Where do we come from? Love.
How do we create world peace? Love.

It may sound overly simplistic to the modern
human being, since we are want to analyze and
look for complex answers to questions. We don’t
believe that life is simple and the answers to its
problems can also be simple: love.

In truth, what are anger, sadness, pain but the soul’s
desire for love?

If we learn to love ourselves without reservation, and to love the world in the same way, the answer is simple. It is impossible, when filled with love, to be aggressive or hate-filled or violent.

When we know that we are beautiful and wonderful, we see the world through those eyes. We see the beauty and wonder in all things around us.

We don’t need to look outside ourselves for the love we seek. It has been there all along. It is the voice of our self-esteem. It is our anger saying, ‘hey this is not right for me. I don’t want this in my life any longer.’

Self-love is saying no to abuse and betrayal. It is wanting the very best for yourself and accepting only that in your life. It is healing the wounds that you have carried all your life.

Self-love is walking away from those who mistreat you, knowing that you deserve better. It is taking the risk to pursue the career that will bring you joy. It is listening to your own inner voice – the one that will always guide you to what is best. It is trusting in yourself completely.

Self-love is following that little voice within that says, ‘ooh I want to do that today.’ Sometimes it means ignoring the voice of 'shoulds' and 'have-tos.' It is believing that, when you seek what you desire and fill yourself with joy, you will also be spreading that joy to those around you.

Love will fill you up so you will know there is nothing missing in your life.

Love will lead you to every answer.

Friday, March 9, 2012

~ The Usefulness of A Cup Is In Its Emptiness ~

Fields of Flower
Imagine if this world is perfect as perfect as you can imagine...No poverty, no hunger, no disease, no war, no conflict, no problems, or simply said, no negative things or anything associated with that in this world for everybody. Would you want it? Do you really want it? Think again...If i were to be asked such question, my answer is an absolute NO!
Why? What would happen to all of us such scenario comes? Think of it...what would happen to scientists and geniouses...they'd be left with no case to solve, doctors with nobody to heal, philosophers with no paradox to think, businessmen with nothing to produce it to, and so on the list goes....
But look now to the world we live in right now, does not it has its own beauty? Everyone have problems to work on, other people to be helped and improved its life. Is it not such a great joy and happiness the last time we did a very big help/deed for another person unconditionally? Besides of its side effect of increasing self-worth and self-patting, we have to admit that one of individual's basic psychological need is to feel useful and have meaningful life.

Passing Giving Hand
Just like as we have developing countries and developed countries...People of developed countries can choose to be the ones with giving hands, able to benefit from being happy and useful through their positive contributions, while people of the developing countries are the happy receiving hands, being happy for to be blessed and improved its life.

The same it goes with richer individuals vs poor individuals, educated vs uneducated, stronger vs weaker people. That is the beauty that this world has many receiving hands, hands to be helped and lives to be improved, for eventually through wisdom in living this life, we will eventually understand is that the joy of life is in giving...
The usefulness of a cup is in its emptiness. Imagine if that cup that is our world is fully filled. How hell it would be, wouldn't it?

Nobody can pour anything more into the cup...there would be no more outlet for individuals' creativity and each one's special capabilities. Nobody would be able to use what they are good in as there is nothing to be grind. Nobody needs to be helped and people can live in their own cells without needing to interact with others. Eventually, everyone would come to feel useless and 'meaningful life' would just be historical concept. Therefore, do not curse the darkness, but bless it as each darkness is opportunity for us to become light unto it...

Coffee Pouring
But now understanding all this, do you come to worry that we might one day reach that point of 'full-perfection' that nothing can be poured in anymore into the cup, therefore it might be wise thing to slow down world progress and development so that there would be longer time to play? One does not have to worry that way, for life is essentially a cycle itself of two opposite aspects. Taoism philosophy through its Yin-Yang symbolism, portrays that the highest peak/maximum of an aspect is the beginning of the opposite aspect, just like the metaphor of "The darkest hour is right before the dawn".

Everything have its cycle, take US economy for example, in the many past decades its economy has reached its maximum peak and now/in the not so far future, it's overall economy is starting to slope down the hill, where in the very very faraway future again it would peak to reach its maximum height again. The same goes with civilizations, history has recorded the rise and fall of civilizations just as the above principle, let it be the Mayans, Atlantis, or any other big civilizations. And in the faraway future (God knows when exactly) the civilizations would reach its peak again. The time span might be too long to be observed or thought about.
Needle Cycle

If we want to be simple, we can look at Chinese civilization, overall we can say that it reached its peak in centuries before BC, where it stood in supremacy over any other civilizations, where in China many amazing inventions were being made, the Europeans were still living in rather primitive technologies. After its golden era spanning over many centuries, the Chinese civilization goes sloping down, with European civilization starting to catch up that it eventually surpassed the Chinese, and minimum slope of the Chinese civilization was marked by the opening of gates to the European in the Qing Dynasty, the last dynasty, and we see now in this new millenium, the Chinese have been climbing up the slope to its peak where it will eventually surpass America that has been sloping down the hill on the other hand.

There may be disagreements between individual historical regarding 'correct' Golden Age of a civilization, and such is perfectly understandable, just like year-month-day-hour-minutes-s econds concept, within one big cycle, there is many smaller cycles, so it depends exactly on which cycle they are referring to their golden age.
Understanding all this, you should therefore not anymore worry and hesitate to give out your best to the world, thanks to the cycle system embedded in life, it is unlikely that this game of life would ever be over. There would always be things and problems to be worked on with dynamically changing and flowing situations of the world, meaning there would always be plenty of opportunities for everybody to shine.

~ Nothing ~

Is something better than nothing?
Is someone better than no one?
Is feeling something, better than nothing?
Is feeling nothing, better than feeling someone?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

~ Realization of the Wave ~


I feel so distressed. Other waves are so big whereas i am so small. Other waves are so powerful whereas i am puny... It is because you have not seen clearly your original nature that you have sorrow. Am i not a wave? Then what am i? The wave is only a temporary form of your nature. In actuality, you are water.
Water? Once you perceive clearly that your actual nature is water, you will no longer be obsessed with the form of the wave and thus you will no longer be in sorrow. I understand now. I am you, you are also me. We are both one.

Humans are egocentric, one thinks that the "Self" is "me", thereby differentiating oneself from others and comparing oneself with others, thus bringing about sorrow. Actually, humans are but one of the constituents in the immensity of Nature. Think about it.

~ Risking ~

Seed Growth Life Freshness
Two seeds lay side by side in the fertile soil.

The first seed said, "I want to grow! I want to send my roots deep into the soil beneath me, and thrust my sprouts through the earth's crust above me ... I want to unfurl my tender buds like banners to announce the arrival of spring ... I want to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the blessing of the morning dew on my petals!"

And so she grew...

The second seed said, "I am afraid. If I send my roots into the ground below, I don't know what I will encounter in the dark. If I push my way through the hard soil above me I may damage my delicate sprouts ... what if I let my buds open and a snail tries to eat them? And if I were to open my blossoms, a small child may pull me from the ground. No, it is much better for me to wait until it is safe."

And so she waited...

A yard hen scratching around in the early spring ground for food found the waiting seed and promptly ate it.

Moral of the Story...Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life