With the New Year coming, it’s time to do some cleaning and it isn’t
your house that needs to be de-cluttered. It’s your soul that could use a
little lightening.
When all of those toxic thoughts and emotions are clogging your mind,
there isn’t any room for the good stuff. You need to clean out those
negative thoughts and make room for new, exciting and positive emotions
that will come in the New Year.
If you have been carrying around too much baggage then this cleaning
is for you. Check out these 10 things to let go of so you can enjoy a
happy, healthy 2015:
1. Jealousy is truly a green-eyed monster that
fosters too many negative emotions. You have to let go of that jealousy
and realize what you have is amazing and you don’t need to envy anybody
else.
2. Self-doubtwill make getting out of bed very difficult. You are a beautiful person and God loves you. Forget about the rest!
3. Guiltis a horrible burden to carry. Ask for forgiveness and move on. Don’t let it mire you down in the muck.
4. Painful emotional memoriescan hold you back from
enjoying all that life has to offer. It is easy to get hung up on the
pain and forget all about the good stuff that happens around you.
5. Angeris a dangerous emotion. It can make you
physically and mentally ill. You have to let it go and embrace
forgiveness or figure out a way to make a change that will leave you
feeling less angry.
6. Feeling inferiorin your group of friends,
co-workers or in life in general is not warranted. You are just as
deserving of love and respect and you must let go of those inferiority
feelings and rise up.
7. Feeling trappedcan quickly lead to negative
emotions. If you feel like you are stuck in a relationship, job or other
situation; pray and make plans to get out.
8. Feeling insecureall the time is a lot of stress.
Let go of the insecurity and remind yourself you are good at your job or
you are in a loving relationship.
9. Being afraid of the futureor the unknown can hold you back. Embrace the future and trust in your faith to carry you through.
10. Regretwill leave you stuck in the past. Let it go.
You may have made a wrong decision, but it is over. It is time to move
forward. Accept what happened and learn from the mistake. You are human!
Sorry is really the hardest word to say.
I am sorry.........
Call it inception or pre-conditioned exposure, but all our lives we've
been programmed to think that we are great, we are good, we are the most
talented/ important/ wonderful person in the world.
Whether by our parents, grandparents, teachers, leaders, etc., we are
taught that we must always think highly of ourselves. Never apologise
for who we are but this is sort of like a flaw in design. Hence, maybe
in some perverse way, we assumed that we are never wrong or could do no
wrong. Not in the eyes of our biggest fans. But mistakes do happen.
"I'm sorry!" – just two words but so hard to form in our mouth and say it out loud.
Why can't we say it?
Apologising means we're acknowledging that we've done something wrong
and a mistake has happened. It is an admission that we're just as
vulnerable as the next person. Some feel this is a threat to their
status quo while losing a bit of dignity and sense of self-worth is hard
to swallow.
It's all about pride really. We fear that apologising will make us
appear weak and in danger of losing the power we have over someone or
anyone. It makes us look incompetent or inadequate.
We can all identify with how challenging an endeavour this apologising
business is. Admit it, who likes to be in the wrong? So, we stay in
denial in the hopes that if there's no admission of fault, then there is
no need for accountability or to take responsibility.
Fact is, saying sorry is meant to make us feel vulnerable. It is a
soul-baring exercise that helps us to build empathy and be open to
another person's feelings or perspective. It's not easy to admit that
we've hurt someone or cause a great deal of pain, and harder still to
see ourselves in a less-than-positive light.
But when we are able to face our flaws and take responsibility for our
shortcomings, it makes us human. It is then easier to make things right
again.
Sometimes
it's really not about being right but rather being aware of the bigger
picture. So say the equally important words – I'm sorry – because it
matters.
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” – Hermann Hesse
It’s true that your past contributes to who you are today – what you
think, what you say, and what you feel. However, dwelling on your past
can hinder the happiness and personal growth that are waiting for you
right now. More important, letting go of the past gives
you a clearer perspective; a freer perspective to be in the present
moment. Let go of yesterday and live for
today.
Frustration.No
one likes to be stuck. But if you focus on the feeling of being stuck,
the frustration can give you energy. Take in how frustrated you are with
where you are, you’ll be more likely to use it to make a fresh start,
and truly put it behind you.
Give up the victimhood.Everyone is a victim at some point in their life, and there is no doubt
that terrible things may have happened to you that were unfair. But
seeing yourself as a victim is being focused on the past. Instead, look
forward to who you can be today, master of your own destiny.
Expand Your Self Perception.Many
times, the problem with being fixated on yesterday is that you see
yourself a certain way, as being a certain way. Sometimes, you can get
beyond this problem simply by realizing that some of the ways that you
view yourself may be incorrect. Try to see yourself with fresh eyes and
new opportunities will arise.
Give yourself more credit.Fixation on the mistakes of the past often occur because you are being
too hard on yourself. Mistakes happen. The reason is often a small
thing, and not related to your value as a person. The problem is that we
tend to connect our self worth to our mistakes, when instead we should
focus on our accomplishments.
View your mistakes as gifts.Your mistakes don’t have some deep meaning about whether you matter. They are gifts that show you the way forward.
Making a list of goals can help you shift your focus towards the future.Your life should be about tomorrow and not the day before. You can help
yourself move in a new direction by getting a sense of what you want
out of life.
Pay attention to how you feel.If you can figure out what is making all the negative emotions happen, you can often undo them and focus on other things.
Anger
is something that each one of us has experienced - some of us only
occasionally, some almost daily. Can we eliminate all anger? Probably
not. We will always have expectations, and those expectations will
often be unmet. Disappointment is the principle cause of anger. When
we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame. Declaring someone to
be at fault is the nature of anger. Anger is always directed at someone -
You've
told yourself a hundred times that you aren't going to get angry -
really angry - ever again, but wham, you start to feel that telltale
heat, locked shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Someone has
just done something really awful and you are angry at them. What now?
7 Secrets to Stop Anger before It Stops You:
1. Recognize when you are angry:It may not immediately occur to you that you are angry. You know that
you have been wronged, and you can see everyone around you take a step
back, but especially if you are really angry, it may take a while to
gain the clarity to acknowledge your anger. Anger clouds perception and
thinking, so make a special effort to spot it early and put it into
words, "I am angry."
2. Breathe deeply:Concentrate on
taking slow deep breaths. Sometimes this is all it takes to break out
of anger and gain clarity on the issue. At other times, breathing
deeply is just a beginning, but it paves the way for the rest of the
secrets.
3. Focus your anger:Get clear what you are angry about and who
you are angry at. Talk to yourself, "I am angry at Joe because he ..."
Don't let your anger expand onto innocent bystanders, especially those
trying to help calm you down. Don't refocus your anger onto everything
that Joe has ever done or failed to do.
4. Remember that you are in charge:Anger is an expression of frustration and helplessness. Remember that
you always have options - you can design your own life. No one can
steal your happiness - unless you let them.
5. Look for the silver lining:There is a silver lining to every disappointment. Your boss fired you
and you are furious. Probably it was a blessing. Now you have the
opportunity to get a better job that you really enjoy.
6. Consider forgiveness:Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a
place to put down roots. Forgive everyone for everything in order to
give anger and resentment a chance to fade. Forgive and you can become
happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift
to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness.
7. Accept that Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair":Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a
miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to
us regardless of our best intentions. To choose happiness, be open to
receiving whatever life throws at you - with Gratitude. Have NO
Expectations of life.
As much as you can, keep dunya (worldly life) in your hand--not in your
heart. That means when someone insults you, keep it out of your heart so
it doesn't make you bitter or defensive. When someone praises you, also
keep it out of your heart, so it doesn't make you arrogant and
self-deluded. When you face hardship and stress, don't absorb it in your
heart, so you don't become hopeless and overwhelmed. Instead keep it in
your hands and realize that everything passes. When you're given a gift
by God, don't hold it in your heart. Hold it in your hand so that you
don't begin to love the gift more than the giver. And so that when it is
taken away you can truly respond with 'inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi
rajioon': 'indeed we belong to God, and to God we return'.
01. Menahan diri daripada tidur diantara waktu fajar dan ishraq, asar dan maghrib, maghrib dan isya. --------------------------- 02. Menghindarkan diri mendekati orang yang mempunyai bau yang kurang menyenangkan. --------------------------- 03. Jangan tidur diantara manusia yang berkata buruk sebelum tidur. --------------------------- 04. Jangan makan atau minum menggunakan tangan kiri. --------------------------- 05. Jangan memakan kembali makanan yang telah dikeluarkan dari celah gigi anda. --------------------------- 06. Jangan mematah-matahkan jari anda. --------------------------- 07. Periksa kasut anda sebelum memakainya. --------------------------- 08. Jangan mendongak ketika sedang solat. --------------------------- 09. Jangan meludah didalam tandas. --------------------------- 10. Jangan membersihkan gigi anda dengan arang. --------------------------- 11. Duduk ketika sedang memakai seluar/kain --------------------------- 12. Jangan memecahkan benda yang keras/sukar menggunakan gigi anda. --------------------------- 13. Jangan meniup makanan yang sedang panas, sebaliknya anda boleh mengipasnya. --------------------------- 14. Jangan mencari kesalahan orang lain. --------------------------- 15. Jangan bercakap diantara waktu azan dan iqamat. --------------------------- 16. Jangan bercakap didalam tandas. --------------------------- 17. Jangan berkata dongeng(palsu) tentang rakan anda. --------------------------- 18. Jangan mengganggu ketenteraman rakan anda. --------------------------- 19. Jangan memandang belakang secara kerap apabila sedang berjalan. --------------------------- 20. Jangan menghentakkan kaki ketika sedang berjalan. --------------------------- 21. Jangan mencurigai tentang rakan anda. --------------------------- 22. Jangan menipu sepanjang masa. --------------------------- 23. Jangan menghidu makanan ketika anda sedang makan. --------------------------- 24. Berkata dengan jelas, agar orang lain boleh faham apa yang anda katakan. --------------------------- 25. Hindarkan berjalan sendirian. --------------------------- 26. Jangan membuat keputusan sendiri, tapi rujuk pada yang arif. --------------------------- 27. Jangan bangga(riak) akan diri sendiri. --------------------------- 28. Jangan mencela makanan anda. --------------------------- 29. Jangan bermegah(sombong). --------------------------- 30. Jangan menghalau pengemis. --------------------------- 31. Layan tetamu anda dengan ikhlas dan baik. --------------------------- 32. Sabar ketika dalam kesusahan. --------------------------- 33. Membantu dengan tujuan yang baik. --------------------------- 34. Muhasabah diri dan bertaubat. --------------------------- 35. Berbuat baik pada mereka yang berbuat jahat padamu. --------------------------- 36. Berpuas hati dengan apa yang anda ada saat ini. --------------------------- 37. Jangan tidur berlebihan-ini akan menyebabkan penyakit lupa. --------------------------- 38. Bertaubat sekurang-kurangnya 100 kali sehari (istighfar). --------------------------- 39. Jangan makan dalam gelap. --------------------------- 40. Jangan makan dengan mulut yang penuh.
Part of growing up is realizing that people aren’t always
nice, and sometimes those you thought you knew so well will stab you
right in the nuts (both of them). After you’ve been castrated and left to bleed on the side of the
road, you become aware of the harsh truth that a large part of life is
spent learning how to take the blows. Because no one goes through life unscathed. We’ve all had our hearts
ripped out at least once, and we’ve all had the wind knocked out of us —
figuratively and literally.
We’ve all experienced heartache and betrayal, treachery and deceit.
The older we get, the harder we become, building a strong outer wall to
protect us against phonies and unsuspecting stabs in the back. We learn to deal with pain, teach ourselves how to heal and grow
stronger after each attack. We create coping mechanisms and share
advice, secrets and tricks to mending our fragile, yet resilient,
hearts. We all know what it’s like to be wronged, to have the people closest to us treat us worse than any stranger could.
We’ve all experienced friends who’ve turned into enemies and lovers
who’ve turned into distant memories of the people we once knew. That’s life.
Life isn’t about perfect relationships or smooth sailing, it’s about
falling as far as you can and climbing even higher the second time
around. It’s about meeting new people and learning from the ones who’ve
done you wrong.
So if someone just did you dirty, took your heart out of your body
and stomped on it, leaving you to wash it off and put it back in bruised
and leaking, just remember these 65 things:
1. Karma… 2. Karma… 3. Karma. 4. They’re probably going to do it again… 5. So it’s a good thing they’re out of your life. 6. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 7. (Just like Kanye.) 8. You will love again. 9. Don’t trust so easily next time. 10. Not everyone is out to get you. 11. Having your guard up is a good thing… 12. But don’t have it up too high. 13. There’s nothing your mother’s cooking can’t fix. 14. They make voodoo dolls for this reason. 15. Remember, it’s OK to eat your feelings. 16. There’s always an album that will understand what you’re feeling at this exact moment. 17. You can’t change people. 18. You’re not supposed to have a million friends. 19. Social media will never make you feel better. 20. No matter how many statuses you post, it won’t take the pain away. 21. Time is the worst and best thing. 22. Sometimes you just need a bubble bath. 23. GET OFF FACEBOOK! 24. You deserve better. 25. There, literally, are too many fish in the sea. 26. This is what art is made out of… 27. And the best way to get over someone is to turn them into literature. 28. The most important relationship you have is with yourself. 29. Speaking of Carrie Bradshaw, there’s always “Sex and The City.” 30. It’s not about you, it’s about them. 31. At least you weren’t married for 72 days. 32. There’s always someone worse off than you are. 33. There are people who love you who would never hurt you… like Ben and Jerry. 34. This is what maturing looks like. 35. It’s also what we call a “learning experience.” 36. Because something always comes out of the pain. 37. YOU WILL GET OVER THIS. 38. Everything happens for a reason. 39. This is what burning bridges is for. 40. There’s nothing wrong with staying in bed for a whole weekend. 41. You’re allowed to burn photos… 42. And untag Facebook ones. 43. But make sure to GETOFFFACEBOOK. 44. What goes around comes around, just ask Justin Timberlake. 45. Now you know who your real friends are. 46. This is what stress balls were made for. 47. You can always join a fight club… 48. Or get really into working out. 49. There’s always alcohol… 50. And weed… 51. Lots of weed… 52. And dark bars filled with strangers. 53. Remember, “this too shall pass.” 53. You’ll understand “Atonement” even better now… and you’ll get to see Keira Knightley again. 54. This is a good time to take a vacation. 55. “Don’t get mad. Get even.” 56. This should just inspire you to work harder and get your revenge. 57. This is what Elite Daily is for. 58. You can’t win them all. 59. It’s the bad in life that makes you appreciate the good. 60. Pain really does make you stronger. 61. You will not remember this in 10 years. 62. OK, maybe 20 (it must have been really bad). 63. Holding on to anger doesn’t solve anything. 64. There are good people out there, I promise.
65. This is happening for a reason
Pada suatu hari, seorang
mufti meninggal dunia dan beliau pun disemadikan di tanah perkuburan
Islam. Pada hari yang sama, seorang remaja perempuan Kristian telah
meninggal dunia dan disimpan di tanah perkuburan Kristian. Disebabkan
oleh suatu kes jenayah yang tidak dapat diselesaikan, pihak polis
terpaksa menggali semula kubur remaja perempuan Kristian tersebut.
Alangkah terkejutnya mereka tatkala mendapati mayat perempuan tersebut
tidak ada di situ bahkan di kubur itu tersemadinya jenazah seorang
mufti! Mereka semua bingung dan hairan bagaimana jenazah boleh bertukar
dengan lain.
Hasil perbincangan
bersama-sama penduduk Muslim, pihak polis kemudiannya menggali semula
kubur mufti tersebut yang asalnya berada di tanah perkuburan Islam.
Sekali lagi mengejutkan. Di kubur tersebut, mereka telah menjumpai
jenazah remaja perempuan Kristian tadi. Orang ramai semakin bingung.
Berita itu tersebar luas sehingga memaksa mereka bertanya kepada waris
si mati mengenai apa yang telah remaja perempuan dan mufti itu amalkan
ketika di dunia. Mesti ada sesuatu yang Allah hendak jadikan pengajaran
terhadap peristiwa bertukarnya kubur itu.
Ibu bapa kepada jenazah
perempuan Kristian itu memberitahu, ”Ketika anak kami hidup, dia ada
berhasrat untuk memeluk agama Islam tetapi kami menghalangnya. Kami
sendiri tidak tahu status agamanya ketika dia meninggal dunia. Adakah
masih dalam Kristian atau memeluk Islam secara senyap-senyap.”
Isteri kepada mufti itu
pula menceritakan, ”Sepanjang hidup, suami saya memang seorang yang
banyak membantu masyarakat menyelesaikan pelbagai masalah agama. Ramai
orang bertanyakan kepadanya pelbagai perkara dan dia dapat
menyelesaikannya dengan baik. Setiap malam dia akan bangun bersolat
tahajjud.” Mereka yang mendengar masih tidak menemui kecacatan kepada
sifat mufti itu. Dia seorang yang mulia dan berjasa kepada masyarakat.
Tapi, mengapa Allah menukarkan kuburnya ke tanah perkuburan Kristian.
Sehinggalah, si isteri meneruskan ceritanya. ”… Cuma, kadang-kadang saya
terdengar suami saya merungut sesuatu. Sewaktu dia bangun untuk solat
malam, dia berkata, ’Susahnya jadi orang Islam. Kena solat, kena buat
itu … kena buat ini … . Jadi orang agama lain kan senang? Tak perlu nak
susah-susah buat semua tu’.”
Kadang-kadang, kita tak
tahu, amalan manakah yang boleh mendatangkan kemurkaan Allah. Sebab
itulah, kita perlu menjauhi semua perkara dan jangan banyak soal mengapa
Allah menyuruh kita berbuat sesuatu dan melarang kita berbuat yg lain.
Kadang-kadang, dengan
niat yang salah pun Allah murka! Kita juga tidak tahu, amalan manakah
yang boleh mendatangkan ’senyuman’ Allah. Sebab itulah, kita mesti
berusaha untuk melakukan segala kebaikan dan jangan banyak soal mengapa
Allah perintahkan kita berbuat itu dan berbuat ini. Dengan niat yang
baik pun, Allah suka!
Berhati-hatilah tatkala
anda memberi pendapat mengenai sesuatu pelaksanaan hukum-hukum Allah.
Tidak takutkah anda dimurkai Allah? Siapa kita untuk mempertikaikan
perintah Allah?- Wallahua’lam
