Wednesday, November 30, 2011

~ Delight ~

It is rewarding to find someone you like,
but it is essential to like yourself.

It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being,
but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.

It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love,
but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.

For you cannot live in someone else.
You cannot find yourself in someone else.
You cannot be given a life by someone else.
Of all the people you will know in a lifetime,
you are the only one you will never leave or lose.

To the question of your life, you are the only answer.
To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

~ Finding Balance in Life ~

Finding balance in life is a realistic and important goal. However, sometimes there are glitches and life feels out of control. When this happens it's usually because you are not getting your needs met or you are not aligned with your values. When you're out of integrity life feels out of balance.

Balance is a feeling derived from being whole and complete; it's a sense of harmony. It is essential to maintaining quality in life and work. Your life is made up of many vital areas including your health, family, financial, intellectual, social, work, spiritual, recreation, personal growth, romance and more. You won't necessarily spend time every day in each area in equal amounts, but if in the long run, you spend a sufficient quantity and quality of time in each area, your life will feel in balance. However, if you neglect any one area, never mind two or three, you will eventually sabotage your own success. Much like a table, if one leg is longer or shorter than the rest, it will make the entire table wobbly. For instance, if you don't take care of your health, your family and social life will suffer; if you put too much time into running your business, personal relationships and self care may suffer.

Living a balanced life is about integrating those components of your life that are truly important to you and realizing that sometimes you need to make choices about what has to come first. Making choices is powerful and allows you to live a balanced life that's aligned with what you value. By choosing what comes first, sometimes there are sacrifices. But living a balanced life doesn't require you to give 100 percent of yourself 100 percent of the time. There will be times when personal/family life and work collide but by knowing what's most important to you and making choices based on this criterion, you'll be better able to balance your decisions and feel whole.

1. Focus on your priorities. Concentrate your time and energy on your personal and professional priorities. Be willing to say "no" to everything else. Identify your values and align your life around what's truly most important to you.

2. Get organized.
Create a structured plan each day rather than reacting to whatever comes up. Don't allow someone else's poor planning to become your emergency or priority. Plan ahead and anticipate your needs. Have back-up to handle your emergencies and a support network so that you are prepared with a contingency plan should the need arise. Arrange time in your schedule for other activities besides work so that your days are not only balanced, but rewarding.

3. Be flexible.
Accept that needs will pop up that will require your readjustment and perhaps new choices. Forgive yourself when things don't get done. Stop striving for perfection and allow for more reasonable standards.

4. Create daily routines.
Instill healthy habits into your daily life. Find ways to relax, relieve tension, and minimize stress. Allow time for self care by practicing daily journaling, meditation, exercise or some other form of quiet time just for you where you can go to reflect, plan, relax and envision your day ahead. Eat healthy meals, drink plenty of water, get adequate rest, and take care of your personal hygiene. Give yourself a break every once in awhile throughout the day to restore your natural state of harmony and calm and to rekindle your creativity. Structure your day to take advantage of your peak performance times.

5. Establish support networks.
Be willing to ask for help and receive it. Enlist family, friends, neighbors, professionals, and others to help you as needed.

6. Simplify your life.
Stop over-scheduling and over-committing. Begin eliminating things from your life that really aren't important to you. Being busy 24/7 doesn't mean that you are any more important than anyone else - it simply means that you are busy and probably missing out on the things that would really make you have more joy and fulfillment in your life. When your life is overcomplicated and overfull, there's little space for what truly matters. And there's no room for personal growth, positive energy, love, or even breathing at times.

Balance life can result from two actions. The first action is understanding and respecting each and every important aspect of your life. Changing your perspective in areas where you are stuck is the second.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

~ Wasted Time ~

Time is such a terrible thing to waste. We only get so much time to use each day and wasting even a few moments can keep us from being productive as possible. Each time we waste time, another moment to seize has slipped away that we will never get back. Think about that for a moment, there will never be another today. The date that slips by today will never come again. With that realization, should we not be making better use of our time?

All of this leads to an important question: how do people waste their time?

- People waste their time doing nothing :
There are many people who simply see their time slip away while they actually do absolutely nothing. One of the chronic nothing activities is sleeping late. Everyone does need sleep and maybe parents of newborn babies need even more. Getting enough sleep is essential for staying healthy, performing at peak levels and living a balanced life. However, there are some people who would sleep the day away without giving the matter much thought at all. Sleeping longer than you personally need is nothing but an absolute waste of time and time is precious.

- People waste their time doing things that do not matter :
Another area where people waste their time is doing things that do not matter. How much time is lost by people playing video games or other such mindless and meaningless activities? We are all guilty of rewarding ourselves with one game of Solitaire or Free Cell only to find we have wasted an hour playing the game. Video games offer nothing of value to the players or to anyone else for that matter. Find some more constructive use of time.

- People waste their time doing things they hate doing :
People also seem to habitually do things that they absolutely hate doing. This could be ongoing chores or even their job. While everyone needs a job and there are certain tasks that we have to do daily, there are some things to do to move beyond tasks that are disliked.

First, for chores that you dislike doing, find someone else who might be able to do the task for you. For example, mowing the lawn is a mindless task that must be done week in and week out. Paying a teenager to do the task might only cost a few bucks and frees up more of your valuable time. Second, for tasks at work, make sure to tackle those tasks first. The faster those tasks are faced and finished, the quicker a person can move on to better tasks.

- People waste their time talking instead of doing :
People talk a lot about things that they need or want to do but in the end never do anything. Take a few moments to stop talking about doing something and get after the task of getting it done. Talk accomplishes little or nothing until we are ready and willing to take action. Stop talking and start doing.

- People waste their time on selfishness :
People also waste a great deal of time on nothing but themselves. An excellent example is an addict. The addict focuses their efforts and time getting the item or thing they are craving. Some people are addicted to wasting time. They sleep late, they are never in a hurry to do anything worthwhile, and they are focused completely on their own personal wants and desires. These people rarely do anything for anyone else and waste their time.

Remember time is the fabric of life and when we waste time we are really just wasting our lives. Time is a gift that we are given with each new day. Twenty four brand new hours, 1440 priceless minutes and 86,400 seconds. All of this time will be spent but we chose the way that time is used. Are you investing your time or are you wasting your time?

Friday, November 11, 2011

~ Be Strong ~

Never think hard about past, It brings tears.
Don't think more about future, It brings fears.
Live this moment with a smile, It brings cheers..

Sunday, November 6, 2011

~ Searching .... Wondering ..... Surrender ...~

" Whoever does not find happiness in the remembrance of Allah, prayer, and reciting the Qur'an, will not find it anywhere else " -Hasan Al Basri(rahimuallah)....

I hold to these words tightly and keep in my heart. To help me grow and stay alive .....
For years ... I'm trying to figure out .. what is missing in my life ! ....
Marriage is not easy ... further more being a second wife ... you have to sacrifice in order to survive .. you have to swallow whatever comes your way, coz you are the second wife ... no power .. you got to take all the blames ... no matter what.....

The impact for being in these circumstances ... drives me crazy ... enough is enough ...
For years, I hide all these suffering from my family and friends ... showed them the fake smile ....
When everything comes to the surface ... everybody asks me .. Why do I stay ? .. What take you so long ? ..

As a muslim woman .. I place Allah above everything else ... whatever actions or every words that I speak ..... I gave a deep thoughts before I proceed ... I fear Allah more than anything else ! ... I want to be a good woman !...

People can say mean and harsh things .... and you can rise above the nastiness. When you feel as though you are the only candle in the wilderness and everyone is trying to blow out your flame, and the one person who should protect the flame is also trying to blow it out, you lose confidence....

I’m not angry anymore. I just simply don’t care. I love my children, and don’t want to lose them. But, I don’t care about this person to whom I am tied for the rest of my life...... when he walked out the door ... I realize ... its the end of my journey with him ....

Life must goes on ... I surrender to you Allah ...

Thursday, November 3, 2011

~ To All Lovers ~

Love isn’t a romantic comedy. It’s hard work, having faith through difficult times, and the ability to look at your partner and know they’ll be there through it all. Relationships are no longer 50/50. Each person needs to give 100 percent of themselves to make it work. It is not all give and it is not all take.

Communication is so very important; it links the hearts of two together, making them understand what each other means. Without communication there is no relationship; without respect there is no love; without trust there is no reason to continue. Marriage is not always easy! You need to work through your ups and downs, love one another no matter what, make alone time, and remember you promised to COMMIT yourself to each other in front of your friends and family and to God. Making a relationship work is just that: work.

It’s easy to love somebody when everything is wonderful. The proof of someone’s love is that they still love you when everything is awful.

Love doesn’t make a marriage; it leads to marriage. Struggles, obstacles, determination, commitment, and loyalty: THAT’S what makes a marriage.

If we weren’t happy, we should have told our partner. It would have been painful to hear, but would have been better than the lies and embarrassment.

To those who are still searching for your “true” love remember this: don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Find the one that makes your heart smile, because that will never go away.

Love is like a butterfly. If you chase it, it only eludes you. But if you are patient it will eventually come rest on your shoulder. I guess that is the beauty of love. Love happens when you least expect it too. So always expect the unexpected and when it finds you, grab hold of it with both hands. The minute you let go is the minute you may never see it again.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind and soul.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that