Monday, March 30, 2009

" The Meaning of Peace................"

The Meaning of Peace...........

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest - in perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture.

Do you know why?"Because," explained the king,

"peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

Saturday, March 28, 2009

" Love Questions..............."

Love Questions............

There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him.

Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly :

"When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love.

Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly :

"When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love.

If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with.

In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that u meet that u can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover.

If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone.

In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you.

But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with.

Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart.

If you are sad, who comes to your mind first?

" Love Lesson..................."

Love Lesson..............

If you find yourself in love with someone, who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you, love just didnt choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.

Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

Friday, March 27, 2009

" Deep Thoughts (1)......"

".......Good that you have done, put that in the water, let it flows.......
Forget all the good you do, but remember your every fault...."
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The good deeds of any person will not make him enter Paradise (i.e., no one enters paradise only through his good deeds)."
The Prophet's companions asked: "Not even you?" The Prophet replied: "Not even myself, unless God bestows his favor and mercy on me. So be moderate in your religious deeds and do what is within your ability. None of you should wish for death, for if he is a doer of good, he may increase his good deeds, and if he is an evil doer, he may repent to God."
- Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Hadith 577

Thursday, March 26, 2009

" The Awakening....................."

The Awakening............

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective.

..........This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :

- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter... and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in "giving" that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards and expectations.

You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not for the answers to my prayers or for material things, but for God to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this:-
You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak and it will heal and empower you.

God has never failed me.

" Feelings................"


What are feelings? Feelings are just pure, unadulterated sentiments towards someone;
people whom we care about. They are the expression of our inner most self.

At times, we base them on others behaviors and attitudes, which leaves us with a character that is not ours. Generally we try to see how the other person reacts to our actions and words. We wait for others to react, rather than act ourselves, to the situation. We love or hate on the basis of the feedback given to us by others, not realizing that we are interpreting their thoughts and feelings and making a fool out of our own self.

We seldom go by our heart and what we really feel. And if by chance we react with the wrong feedback, we try to justify our wrong by blaming the circumstance, rather than realizing the mistake and trying to interpret our own feelings.

Monday, March 23, 2009

" Into The Light................"

Into the light ............

You are a moment away from despair, and a moment away from greatness.
Life can change in an instant, in this very instant.
Life can change because you can change.
You can change your outlook, even with no supporting evidence.
You can choose to become discouraged when there is no reason to be.
Or you can choose to be positive and enthusiastic even when the world seems to be turning against you.

Reality for you is what you make of it.
Certainly there are many influences beyond your control,
and yet you are completely within your control.
And that's what really counts.

What if you could choose to be happy whenever you wanted to be?
The fact is, you can.
What if you could choose to be positive and enthusiastic whenever you wanted to be?
Actually, you can.

Is it unrealistic to focus on the positive when the world is telling you to be negative?
No, it's not unrealistic. It's enlightened. It's effective. It's powerful.
And not only does it move you forward, it brightens your world as well.

This is a moment for greatness. Step into the light and live it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

" Changes In Life....................."

Changes in Life..........

In every change that you experience in life,
there will be times when you'll wonder if you can endure.

But you'll learn that facing each difficulty one by one isn't so hard.

It's when you don't deal with a situation that if sometimes comes back to confront you again.

Changes are sometimes very painful,
but they teach us that we can endure
and that we can become stronger.

Everything that comes into your life has a purpose,
but the outcome is in your hands by the action you take.

Be wise with your life,
be willing to endure,
and always be willing to face life's challenges

Saturday, March 21, 2009

" Learn And Grow......................"

Learn and grow.............

We've all made mistakes. We've all done things that we've been ashamed of.
Life is a learning experience, and mistakes are the most effective teachers.
Living successfully is not about avoiding mistakes, it is about learning from them.
Making a mistake once is, in the long run, a blessing for what it teaches.
Making the same mistake again and again -- now that's what you want to avoid.

To not learn from your mistakes is usually worse than to make them in the first place.
And the learning starts with accepting responsibility for your errors. Laying the blame on others will serve no useful purpose.

From the moment you're born, life is a learning and growing experience.
Today you are more intelligent than you were yesterday.
Today you are more mature than yesterday.
Today you are more caring, more loving, more effective than ever before.
You have grown and you continue to grow every day.
The poor judgment you exercised yesterday is in the past,
and you are the wiser for it.

Take comfort and delight in the new person you are always becoming.
Go forward knowing that you are worthy and capable of every success.

Friday, March 20, 2009

" It Makes You Stronger......................."

It Makes You Stronger...............

As the years roll by, as the days take their place in time; I stop to look back… look ahead… and look within… a snapshot into my soul.

Looking Back :
It's been said that those who do not learn from their past mistakes are condemned to repeat them. Soberly reflecting, I cast my mind back to the many lessons I had to learn not once, not twice, but several times over, because I simply refused to let go. It gets to a point where you stop running, stop crying, stop lying to yourself - you face reality. It's a struggle at times, but my, my! I look back and realize it does get easier, with each passing day.

It takes me a while to close doors because I believe doors open for a reason, but sometimes we are so bent on keeping that door open, that we fail to see when God closes it and opens another. The ghost of the past can be a lurking shadow chasing our sunrises but with God's help - break that hold! Embrace the dawn of a new morning! It's never easy but you reflect, you accept and you learn…and it makes you stronger.

Looking Ahead :
In finding myself, I discover my future with all its beauty and promise and hope. We cannot change the past but we can shape the future and that's the beautiful thing about life. The rain will fall, the unexpected will occur but it's your attitude about what card life deals you that makes the difference.

Will you see the clouds or the sky? Will you see problems or solutions?

I claim the promises of God in believing that He'll never leave me nor forsake me and trust in the plan He has for my life. I am bound to make mistakes, but I will learn from them; I am bound to go through trials and tribulations but they will make me stronger; I am bound to hurt people dear to me, consciously or unconsciously, but I will ask for forgiveness. The world is my playground and the best is yet to come. Tomorrow is not granted, but my attitude can be and that powerful realization…it makes you stronger.

Looking Within :
Life can be cruel in its harsh reality. I've learned and continue to learn some hard facts. Situations and circumstances have revealed my strengths and also my weaknesses. At the height of good fortune, a human can be vulnerable to misdirection and mistakes. In the rough times, I've learned more about myself than at any other time in my life. I must accept my imperfections and overcome them.

Life also reveals the different shades of human nature. When the lightning strikes and the storms come, the rainbow reveals who your true friends really are. Roses have thorns, people change, and most friendships are fleeting.

Learn to seek happiness alone, love yourself and through that you can truly love others. Forgive, not for the person but for yourself. Let God carry your burdens, sometimes it's just too heavy to carry them all by yourself.

Look within and discover your passions, your soul, discover you…it makes you stronger!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

" Setting A Limit To Sit With Emotions..............."

Setting A Limit To Sit With Emotions...............

Our emotions color our lives with varying palettes. Sometimes we feel a
strong emotion in reaction to something that has happened, but
emotions also visit us seemingly out of the blue, flooding us unexpectedly
with joy or grief or melancholy. Like the weather, they come and go, influencing our mental state with their particular vibration.
Sometimes a difficult emotion hangs around longer than we would like, and we begin to
wonder when it will release its hold on us. This is often true of
grief stemming from loss, for example, or lingering anger over a past

Usually, if we allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully when they
come up, they recede naturally, giving way to another and another. When an
emotion haunts us, it is often because we are afraid of really feeling
it. Emotions like despair and rage are powerful, and it is natural to
want to hold them at bay. Certainly, we don’t want to let them take
us over so that we say or do things we later regret.

When we are facing this kind of situation, it can be helpful to ask the spirit, “How
long do I need to sit with these emotions, how long do I need to feel
these emotions before they can pass?”

If you ask sincerely and wait, an answer will come. Setting a time limit on your engagement with that difficult emotion may be just the technique you need to face it fully.

When you have a sense of how much time you need to spend, set a timer.
Sit down and make yourself available to the emotion that has been
nagging you. All you have to do is feel it. Avoid getting attached to it or
rejecting it.

Simply let it ebb and flow within you. Emotions are by
their nature cyclical, so you can trust that just as one reaches its apex
it will pass. Each time you sit with its presence without either
repressing or acting out, you will find that that difficult emotion was the
catalyst for much needed emotional healing.

" Control Of Your Heart........................."

Control of Your Heart................

A wise and understanding heart does not repay a hurt with a hurt. In doing so, the heart is diminished. Fissures form. Love leaks out. Every pain given in return for one received, changes the contents of the heart. It is no longer defined by love, wisdom and understanding. It is redefined by the bearers of hurt and hate, pain and prejudice, meanness and madness, sorrow and sadness. You give away control of your very own heart.

The despair of being hurt is healed by overcoming it, not clinging to the hurt and inflicting more of it on the world. When darkness is added to darkness, no one can see, no one can love. Everyone loses.

Love is not always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes it's the integrity we hold on to when we're tempted to strike back. Sometimes it's the honor that keeps us from exchanging the valuable contents of our heart for the harsh satisfaction of lashing back.

No, the way of love is not always easy, but when night falls, dawn is assured.

The integrity and honor of a wise and understanding heart, rises with the sun of a new day.

"Because you have asked for understanding to discern judgment. I have given you a wise and understanding heart."

Living in love and loving life.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

" Suffering...................."

Suffering ..............

Is suffering necessary for our self-improvement or does it hinder our progress? How often do we suffer unnecessarily because of our own mind, and how we can learn and progress, despite periods of unavoidable suffering? These are some thoughts on suffering.

Don’t Invite Suffering :
Most of our mental problems are self imposed. When we examine our own mind we realise how many unnecessary fears and anxieties we hold onto. It is these thoughts that are our real source of suffering; but, there is no need to cherish them at all. Make a conscious effort to let go of those thoughts which cause only internal suffering; look upon these thoughts as a dark spot on your own heart. Try to cultivate the opposite of suffering which is happiness. When we are inwardly sincerely happy we will make more progress, we will also be able to share our inner wealth with others. How can we uplift others, when we ourselves are thoroughly miserable?

Suffering Lowers Our Consciousness :
Sometime we feel that if we have many crosses to bear we will make tremendous progress. But, often when we suffer what happens is that we feel miserable and unhappy; when we are unhappy we subconsciously seek to blame the world and inevitably we share our suffering with others. On the other hand sometimes when we have many problems we also feel proud and important that we have so many difficulties to deal with. It is because of emotions like this that we cling onto our negative emotions.

Progress Through Suffering :
When life is easy and problem free we coast along with little concern for our self improvement; life is pleasurable so we are content to remain as we are. However, difficult experiences often force us to re-evaluate our approach and attitude to life. Perhaps our pride has been hurt or we feel guilty for having made a mistake. It is these shocks to the system that create the motivation to aim for higher ideals and be less self absorbed. When we look back, at what felt like a period of unfair suffering, we later feel that it was completely necessary and actually the start of a fresh beginning.

Learn From Every Experience :
Whilst we will never invite suffering, inevitably there will be times when we suffer either physically or emotionally. We cannot avoid these experiences, nor should we make the mistake of expecting life to be trouble free. What is important is our inner and outer attitude to these problems; if we approach difficulties with the right attitude we can turn suffering into a learning experience. In some cases we can even turn experiences of suffering into an unexpected feeling of illumination and joy.

Physical Suffering and Mental Suffering :
" The pain of the body is often bearable. Not so is the pain of the heart..."
When we are ill it is more difficult to be in a good consciousness. If our body is in pain it is more difficult to pray/meditate because our mind rests on the physical pain, rather than transcending the physical consciousness. However, just because it is more difficult doesn’t mean it is impossible. We should see it as an opportunity to strengthen our practice. If we can remain in a good consciousness even with pain, we will become stronger and more resilient. When we are in pain try to think about it as little as possible and avoid feeling sorry for yourself; find something else to focus on.

Suffering and the Saints :
It seems that many of the great saints and spiritual Masters suffered in some way, even if they never invited the suffering into their lives.

" None can reach heaven Who has not.. Passed through hell..."

We should remember that suffering is often in the mind and self created. However, when suffering does unavoidably come, we need to learn how to approach it with an attitude of detachment and equanimity. Through the right attitude we can easily transform pain into joy, suffering into progress. Always remember suffering is not the goal, but a temporary experience necessary for our own self improvement and self discovery.

Monday, March 16, 2009

" Life Is A Journey..........................."

Life is a journey............

Life is a journey filled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, celebrations and special moments that will ultimately lead us to our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be smooth; in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many challenges.

Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weaknesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles that will come between the paths that we are destined to take. In order to follow the right path, we must overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise, only we don't realize that at the time.

Along our journey we will be confronted with many situations, some will be filled with joy, and some will be filled with heartache. How we react to what we are faced with determines what kind of outcome the rest of our journey through life will be like.

When things don't always go our way, we have two choices in dealing with the situations. We can focus on the fact that things didn't go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by, or two, we can make the best out of the situation and know that these are only temporary setbacks and find the lessons that are to be learned.

Time stops for no one, and if we allow ourselves to focus on the negative we might miss out on some really amazing things that life has to offer. We can't go back to the past, we can only take the lessons that we have learned and the experiences that we have gained from it and move on. It is because of the heartaches, as well as the hardships, that in the end help to make us a stronger person.

The people that we meet on our journey, are people that we are destined to meet. Everybody comes into our lives for some reason or another and we don't always know their purpose until it is too late. They all play some kind of role. Some may stay for a lifetime; others may only stay for a short while.

It is often the people who stay for only a short time that end up making a lasting impression not only in our lives, but in our hearts as well. Although we may not realize it at the time, they will make a difference and change our lives in a way we never could imagine. To think that one person can have such a profound affect on your life forever is truly a blessing. It is because of these encounters that we learn some of life's best lessons and sometimes we even learn a little bit about ourselves.

People will come and go into our lives quickly, but sometimes we are lucky to meet that one special person that will stay in our hearts forever no matter what. Even though we may not always end up being with that person and they may not always stay in our life for as long as we like, the lessons that we have learned from them and the experiences that we have gained from meeting that person, will stay with us forever.

It's these things that will give us strength to continue on with our journey. We know that we can always look back on those times of our past and know that because of that one individual, we are who we are and we can remember the wonderful moments that we have shared with that person.

Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in our hearts. They also enables us to continue on with our journey for whatever life has in store for us. Sometimes all it takes is one special person to help us look inside ourselves and find a whole different person that we never knew existed. Our eyes are suddenly opened to a world we never knew existed- a world where time is so precious and moments never seem to last long enough.

Throughout this adventure, people will give you advice and insights on how to live your life but when it all comes down to it, you must always do what you feel is right. Always follow your heart, and most importantly never have any regrets. Don't hold anything back. Say what you want to say, and do what you want to do, because sometimes we don't get a second chance to say or do what we should have the first time around.

It is often said that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. It all depends on how one defines the word "strong" It can have different meanings to different people. In this sense, "stronger" means looking back at the person you were and comparing it to the person you have become today. It also means looking deep into your soul and realizing that the person you are today couldn't exist if it weren't for the things that have happened in the past or for the people that you have met.

Everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and sometimes that means we must face heartaches in order to experience joy.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

" On The Edge..................."

On the edge.....

There will be moments when the only thing left is for you to question your existence. Life can be so damned hard for each of us.

There are always days when we get so lonely and depressed. When we cry. When the world has lost its colors. When the rest of the world is happy and you are not.
There will be times when we lose all reasons for living; and problems will seem so hard that we wish there was no such thing as tomorrow.

But then again, we should also know, that they are just another bitterness in life trying to twist the personage in each of us; and corrupt our perceptions about life.
When these times happen, do not succumb to the temptations of giving up. Yes, to live is to suffer and the only way to be happy is to suffer willingly.

Often, the worst of times yields the best lessons in life. We have to go on in life's extremes. We don't have to give up.

As the famous poet, philosopher, and artist Kahlil Gibran said,

".........When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that, in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight.........."

" Joy Or Pleasures ?......................"

Joy or Pleasures ?....................

You can become more sincere in your spiritual life just by feeling that sincerity gives you tremendous joy.
Suppose you are about to say or do something wrong. Immediately stop and think, "How can I do this undivine thing?
It will take away all my joy." Then you will not do it. You will find that by abstaining from some undivine activities, you are getting infinitely more joy than if you had allowed yourself to do something undivine.

So it is joy that will always help you do the right thing. But you must distinguish between joy and pleasure.
If you do something wrong and feel a kind of joy, then that is not real joy; that is pleasure. But if you do the right thing and then you get some joy, that is real, divine joy.

Joy and pleasure are two different things. Pleasure is followed by frustration, but joy is followed by more joy, abundant joy, infinite joy.
The real in us is joy; other things are all false. So if you don't do the right thing, the so-called joy that you get is nothing but undivine pleasure. But if you do the right thing, then you will get abiding, eternal joy.

Suppose you have told lies and you have not been caught by any human being. Still your conscience has caught you.
Your conscience has caught you even before you told the lies. Then what do you do? On the one hand you are caught by your own conscience, so you feel miserable. On the other hand, you get tremendous joy because you have been caught. It is like hide-and-seek.

When children play hide-and-seek, the one who is caught also gets joy. His motive is to hide, but when he is actually caught, he is so thrilled. In the spiritual life also, when you are caught by your divine qualities, you should be so happy that at last you have become aware of the tiger inside you. Previously you thought that inside you there was only a deer running very fast. Then, all of a sudden, you see inside you a tiger with all kinds of animal qualities. When you discover that you have a tiger inside you, you should be very happy. For only then will you be able to control the tiger. Otherwise, the tiger will come and devour all your good qualities.

In the spiritual life, if there is no sincerity, nothing can be achieved. And to whom are you being sincere? You are being sincere to yourself. You have a higher reality and you have a lower reality. When you become sincere, immediately you pull your lower reality up to your higher reality. Just like a magnet, your higher reality pulls up your lower reality so that it can take shelter in the higher reality.

There are times in your life when you are really happy. Why are you happy? Because you are really sincere about jumping into the sea of spirituality. Again, you are unhappy when you are hesitant. At times you say, "Oh, if I jump into the sea of spirituality, there will perhaps be some water animals there, and these water animals will devour me." But instead of worrying about what will happen, you should say, "If I just jump, if I dive into the sea of spirituality, then I will be able to get the most precious gifts from the sea."

Friday, March 6, 2009

" When You Love Someone........................."

When You Love Someone.........

- When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them.
At that moment, you are in love.

- Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh,
your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone.
Then, you are in love.

- Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet.
You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.

- If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

- When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the
messages in your answering machine because of one message
from that special someone, you are in love.

- When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would
not hesitate to think of that special someone.
Then, you are in love.

- You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.

- While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind,
then u are in love with that person.

" Real Love.................."

4 person in your life how many have u found?

2nd-1 u love most,
3rd-1 who love u most,
4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with.

firstly, u'll meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels.
Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who loves u most.
When u've experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, u'll then know what
it is u need most. Then u will find the person who is most suitable for u, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly,in real life,these 3 people are usually not the same person.
The one u love most doesn't love you. The one,who love u most,is never the one u love most. And the one u spend your life with,is never the one u love most or the one who love u most.

He/she is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are u in other people's life?
No person will purposely have a change of heart.
At the point in time when he loves u, he/she really loves u.
But when he/she doesn't love u anymore, he/she really doesn't love u anymore.
When he/she loves u, he/she can't pretend that he/she doesn't.
same goes, when he/she loves u no more, there's no way he/she can pretend he/she loves u.

When a person doesn't love u and wants to leave u. u must ask yourself, if u still love
him/her, If u also don't love him/her anymore, do not keep him/her just to save your pride.

If you still love him/her, you should wish him/her happiness, and hope that he/she will be with the one he/she loves most, not stop him/her from it. If you stop him/her from finding true happiness with the one he/she loves, it shows u already don't love him/her, And if you don't love him/her, what rights do you have to blame him/her for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive, if you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin, But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him/her become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love him/her for what he/she is. Love him/her for his/her good points, and the bad, You can't wish for him/her to become like what you like him/her to be just because you love him/her. If he/she can't change to become what you like him/her to be, you don't love him/her anymore. When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him/her, You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test, If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love, They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover. These swear and promises are useless; Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for u will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean will never dry, Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises; don't make promises that you cannot keep.

Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Remember? Swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!!?

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another;
The 1 saying, doesn't believe; the 1 listening, also doesn't believe.

" Is it Love ?........................"

Is It Love...........

1. Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing? and your voice caught within your chest?
it isn't love, it's like.

2. You can't keep your hand off them, am I right?
it isn't love, it's lust

3. Are you proud and eager to show them off?
it isn't love, it's luck

4. Do you want them because you know they're there?
it isn't love, it's loneliness

5. Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
it isn't love, its loyalty

6. Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them?
it isn't love, its pity

7. Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
it isn't love, it's lack of confidence

8. Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
it isn't love, it's infatuation

9. Do you tell them that everyday they are the one you think of?
it isn't love, it's a lie

10. Are you willing to give up all your favorite things for their sake?
it isn't love, it's charity

11. Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
it isn't love, it's friendship

12. Do you accept their faults because it's part of who they are?
then it's love

13. Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
then it's love

14. Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply, it hurts?
then it's love

15. Do you stay because a blinding incomprehensible mix of pain, and elations pulls you close and hold you?
then it's love

16. Are you attracted to others but stay with them faithfully with no regrets?
then it's love

17. Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
then it's love

18. And always remember - love isn't one sided!! - Both must love for LOVE to exist!

" Difference Between Love and Infatuation.............."

Difference between Love and Infatuation......

Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?

There is a big difference between Love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.

Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying.
But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up.
It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.


Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.

Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.

Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.

Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.

Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation.
This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.


Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.

When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.

Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.
It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
Love is Kind. Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others..
It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.

You can do the following:

1. Give one another things such as gifts and encouragement cards.

2. Compliment one another. Magnify the other party's strength.

3. Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.

4. Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.

5. Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.

6. Love is not about bragging. Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.

7. Love is Not Arrogant. Love is not conceited, boastful,cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanour implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you." Of course, this is not love.

8. Love always covers. This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential.

9. Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

10. Love always Perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

11. Love is Not Provoked. This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.

12. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self- centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"

13. Love does not act unbecomingly. This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manner. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl, or offering her your arm when you walk together.

14. Lastly, Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.

** Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins. **

" Love Thoughts...................."

Love Thoughts..........

The beginning of love, is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not twist them with our own image -- otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them? The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of every-thing...they just make the most out of everything that comes their way.

The best kind of friend is the one you can sit on a porch with, never saying a word and then walk away, feeling like that was the best conversation you've had.

Don't go for looks -- it can deceive.

Don't go for money -- even wealth fades away.

Go for someone who makes you smile, because only a smile makes a dark day seem bright. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives.

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion and the romance... and you find out you still care for that person. Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, those who still believe, even though they have been betrayed and those who still love even though they've been hurt before. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people, before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we should know how to be grateful for that gift. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But, what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past ... you can't go on in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in Their hearts. But, if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. There are things that you would love to hear, but you never hear it from the person you want to. Don't be deaf to hear it from the person who says it with their heart.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are smiling and everyone around you is crying.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But often we look so long at the closed door, that we don't see the one which has just been opened for us.

Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too. A sad thing about life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you ... only to find out in the end, that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone ... an hour to like someone...a day to love someone...but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Love starts with a smile, develops with a kiss and ends with a tear.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

" Forgiving....................."

Forgiving Your Enemies............

It is easy to talk about the desirability of forgiving your enemies. But, in practise it can be difficult to both forgive and forget. This post is inspired by a reader asking how they might overcome a ‘grudge’ against someone. I don’t feel particularly qualified to answer this question, but, I will suggest a few ideas that might help; maybe readers may have a few more.

1. Intention is the most important Step:

To the reader who asked the question, I would say the most important step is the desire to give up the grudge. If we see the desirability of forgiving and moving on then it definitely becomes possible. Whatever we focus on becomes achievable. But, if we have no willingness to give up hostility towards other people it will never happen. - If we dearly cherish our own negativity we can’t expect an angel to come and take away all our hostility. I would suggest that it is important to keep reminding yourself of your wish to be free from this negative grudge. Even if it is difficult to achieve, keep reminding yourself of the goal.

2. Forgiveness = Happiness

If you hold ill will towards another, this hatred and enmity will inevitably cloud your own happiness. It is not possible to hate and be truly satisfied. Why should you allow your enemies to spoil your own peace of mind and inner joy? Try this exercise; when you are aware of ill will towards others, try to feel it is like a black spot on your own heart. By hating others, you do not change anything; but, you do make your own life miserable. When we are unhappy no situation is improved. When we see our own happiness is dependent upon letting go of grudges, we will be more inspired to try and do it. Be kind to yourself, let go of negativity towards other people. (note this does not mean we are condoning bad actions of others. It just means we detach from the situation, we can still hate the action but are free of the personal enmity which is so corrosive to ourself.)

3. Human Justice and Divine Justice.

We have an innate desire for justice; when we feel wronged instinctively we desire to return the suffering. This is one way of living; but it is not necessarily the best. We feel that everyone is responsible for their actions. Just because someone deserves to be punished doesn’t mean we are responsible for making them suffer.What we do, will come back to us ‘As we sow we reap’ However, if we feel responsible for rectifying every injustice, it is we who will suffer.

4. The Mind Exaggerates:

Sometimes problems can be exaggerated by the mind. Perhaps a person has done a couple of bad things, which have left us furious. However, maybe that person is not all bad. From their perspective, maybe they were trying to what they thought was the right thing. Try to look at your ‘enemy’ from a new perspective; try see some positive qualities in that person, think of some good things they have done. If we realise they are just average people with the ordinary failings it becomes easier to forgive.

5. The Past is Dust.

Perhaps we just cannot see anything good in the person we hate. Despite our best intentions, we just can’t let go of their enmity. What can we do in a situation like this? We have to be wise, life is not about living in the past. Every day offers a new opportunity to start a fresh and forget the past. The past has not fulfilled us.

True, but who says we have to live in the past? If we remember every perceived and imaginary wrong, how will we ever move forward and enjoy life in the present moment? Don’t give all your attention to the past and to people who have caused problems; concentrate on the future, live in the present moment. By focusing on the present we can allow the newness and positive qualities of life to wash away our miserable past.

If we have difficulty doing this, spend time with positive loving people. This is the best antidote to negativity. - Don’t fight negative forces just focus on something good instead.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

" Your Soulmate or Your Soulfriend ?...................."

Your Soul Mate or Your Soul Friend?..............
(Sun, December 2, 2007 - 1:56 AM)

Do You Lead A Life of Quiet Desperation ?
We meet someone for a reason, for a season . . . or for life.

Are you, or perhaps someone you know living a life that is
not complete, not totally fulfilling, not quite whole?

Henry David Thoreau said, "Most people lead lives of
quiet desperation, and go to their graves with the song
still in their heart."

What did he mean by that and how does that apply to you?

It's your destiny, fate and spiritual right to have a
life that is complete, whole, satisfying, and fulfilled.
And, in fact it is the will of the Supreme Being, your creator,
that you have this.

You are loved so much by your Creator, that He only wants
and desires the very best for you.

One area we'd like to discuss today is marriage. Being married to the right partner can make life very rewarding and fulfilling.

You can have all the success in the world, but if you have
a wrong or bad marriage, then you will never be completely
whole or completely fulfilled.

It is our innate essence of being to be creators ourselves. Most
of us are happiest and feel satisfied when we are creating
and enjoying the fruits of our efforts.

Marriage is a creation. It is a process of continually creating
a life for yourself, your spouse and family.

Now, I'm sure you have heard of the term "soulmate."
In the true definition of the word, there is a created spiritual
essence of being that has split into two.

It's like the original story, Adam was created and given all
he could ever want in life. He had it all folks, never had to
work, had everything supplied to him, yet he wasn't fulfilled.

He wasn't complete, he wasn't able to fully develop the love
that was in his heart, nor share it with a kindred spirit.

So out of the one being, there was a split, a division, and
Adam then had a soulmate as a companion. It was only then
that he was able to find completeness & wholeness on earth.

You may or may not believe that there are soulmates.
Or, that there was a being that has split and the two divisions
are on earth seeking to find each other and become complete
again. (Although polls have indicated that 80% of people
do believe they have a soulmate just for them).

But even still, what you cannot deny is that there are a ton of
marriages out there where the folks in them are miserable.

And a very good reason why is, because these folks
are involved with the wrong partner.

There are a lot of really good marriages out there also, and
many of the folks in those marriages believe that their
partner was and is, God's chosen mate for them.

And, doesn't that really make sense......that if God created
you and loves you more than anything, don't you think he
would also have made provision for your becoming complete
and whole and fulfilled in marriage?

Let's look at this in another way. We know that in nature, cells
are also miniature energy fields and that they do split or divide.

Mitosis, or the splitting of cells, is how multi-celled
organisms grow.

Similar to that analogy is the energy field of a being that splits,
in order to grow. However, these two divisions after splitting;
constantly are striving to re-unite with each other.

The division happens so that each side can grow, spiritually,
mentally, & physically. Yet those two beings will not become
fully complete and fulfilled until they re-unite with each other.

But let's also throw a little hooker in here. Besides your one
true soulmate, there are also a myriad of other soul friends.

These soul friends are in your life to also help you grow, learn
lessons and partner with you for mutual benefit. But soul friends,
while they can and very often do become marriage partners,
are not the one true partner that God has chosen for you.

So many people get married to the wrong person, simply
because they do not understand what soulmates are and
why they exist. And then find themselves in marriages that
are just not a happening thing.

People mostly have poor marriages because they simply
got involved with the wrong person, or they got involved
with a soul friend and did not recognize that soul friends are
not necessarily forever nor are they God's chosen mate for life.

It is not wrong to be married to a soul friend, however it
is not the best that God has planned for you and neither
can you or your spouse attain that completeness, fulfillment
and happiness that could be there if you were partnered
with your soulmate.

Adam would not have been able to achieve the completeness
if he had married Jane, instead of Eve. He would have known in
his heart that there was something he was missing, something
more.....something that was lacking in his very essence,
and something that could not be found in Jane as opposed
to Eve.

You may be married to a soul friend, instead of your
soulmate. If this is the case, then you will not find complete
fulfillment and happiness in your marriage relationship....
you will find yourself constantly seeking outside the relationship
for that fulfillment, happiness and completeness.....searching
for a reunion with your true soulmate, which is also a part of yourself.

Here's a little hint:

- If you are with your soul friend and your relationships are not
going well, or have gone flat, then perhaps this is nature's way
of telling you to go on and find that soulmate.

- Perhaps you and your partner have learned the life lessons
you were brought together to learn, and now it's time for both
of you to evolve into a higher and more fulfilling state of being.

- If you are in a relationship with your known soulmate and things
are not going well, or have gone flat, then it's natures way
of telling you that you need to bring your relationship up to
a higher energy and spiritual level.

It is said that every pot has it's lid. A pot with a wrong fitting lid is not what it could be, nor will it ever be able to be what it could be.

Find the right lid that fits your pot and all the steam will stay inside instead of escaping seeking expression externally to the relationship.