Tuesday, December 25, 2012

~ The Past ~

-  The future is stardust because you can dream it. The present is clay because you can mold it. But the past is stone because you can never change it.

A lot of people go through life like they are rowing a boat. They look at where they have been (the PAST) rather than where they are going (the FUTURE)

-    I'm not judging you by your past ... it just a reminder to you not to repeat it again.

-    We should not be scared of our past .. it should be a great lesson to move forward

-  When the fire is gone, the heat remains in the ashes. When the love is gone, the pain remains in the heart.

-   To know yourself is to know your past…

    To see yourself is to see your present…

    To be yourself is to be your future.

-   Don’t let your heart be burdened by your past, just keep the happy memories and throw the rest away.

-   The dimmer the pains of your past, the brighter the relief of your future.

-   The past is there to look back at our mistakes, future is there to make sure you don’t make the same ones.

-    The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.

Monday, December 24, 2012

~ Your Life Is Your Own ~

 Your life is a result of the choices you make

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours, it is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

Nobody is more responsible for where you are now than you. You have the power inside of you to become the success that you want to be! Start becoming detailed and clear about the things that you really want out of life.

What is holding you back? Is it failure? Some of the biggest and most successful people in the world are driven by their failures from their pasts. Don't think of failure as an obstacle to your life, but instead think of failure as one of your biggest allies, for without failure, there is no success.

Condition yourself for success. Find people who have done things similar to what you want to do, and model your own life after theirs. All of the knowledge and wisdom is out there for you to use, but you have to use it to become successful by actually putting forth great effort, and taking action.

Life is strange, sometimes very dark, and very uncertain. Some think of life as passion, and some think of life as what a man is willing to give his or her thoughts to. Some call life a continual cycle of new surprises, while some say that life is one thing after another, as it were only a series of events.

One thing that we may all conclude about life is that it is definitely what you make it. You will always have a choice in life, and from these choices you will have laid out the path you traveled, whether it is one that you had to beat down and create for yourself, or whether it is a road that you traveled along with everyone else who wasn't really too much interested in making their life their own.

Make out of life whatever it is that you desire to make out of it, just be sure to make something.

We are all guilty of making some bad decisions in our lives. No one is perfect, and no one is all knowing besides the Almighty God. It is important not to focus on the decisions we made in the past that we now know have faults, but instead it is most important that we try to learn from what we have been through so that we make better decisions as each day goes forward.

If we also learn why we made the bad decisions we made then we will be even more likely to not make the same types of decisions again. Was it because you were attempting to avoid some type of pain or fear? What were you feeling in this moment of weakness, and how can you move forward in your life without making the same type of decision or better yet, how can you make it so that you move forward without even putting yourself in the same type of position again?

Friday, December 21, 2012

~ Never Hold Back How You Feel ~


" If you hold back how you feel because you're afraid of getting hurt, you end up hurt anyway......"

Never hold back how you feel about someone or about a certain situation, especially if you know once the opportunity to make something with someone is ever taken from you because someone else beat you to the punch will ultimately hurt you anyway.

As we live our lives we have to come to terms with the fact that if we want to live the best life possible for ourselves, we have to be willing to take the risks necessary to do so. Instead of holding back from expressing your emotional connect with a person, take the opportunity to do so, for no matter what is the consequence, if you hold back how you feel because you are afraid, chances are you would end up being hurt anyway.

Make it a lifestyle to be honest with others about who you are, and how you feel, only then will you achieve the ultimate satisfaction of living life with no regret.

To say stop being afraid is easy to do, but to actually start living, and to start taking action to get to where we really want to be is the most difficult thing in our lives that we have to do.

We feel every feeling for a reason. Until we can learn how to manage our actions because of the way we feel, instead of letting how we feel lead us not to act at all, we will more than likely never stop being afraid.

Today is the day that you can pump some action into your life. Decide what it is that you really want, and start taking active steps in pursuing what it is that you truly want out of life.

Change your thinking, and think like a person who is always plotting their next action, and act like a person who is always thinking, not fearing life, but thinking and pursuing.

Grab life by the horns in every second possible, and always remember that change is necessary in every facet in life in different moments. Stop letting fear ruin you, adapt, and grow until you can no longer, live on!

Never Hold Back How You Feel ........

Saturday, December 15, 2012

~ Do Not Chase People ~


"  Do not chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay............"

 Chasing people around in life will be of no benefit to you in the long run. This is mostly because you can't make people be who you want them to be, people will always do what they truly want to do, deep down inside. What you can do is make extraordinary effort each day to be you, and to do what is in your heart, and work hard at it.

The people who deserve to be in your life will come in your life, and not only will they just be a part of your life like the people of your past, but they will stay in your life as well. Cut the slack out of your life, and let go of the people that are only bringing you down. There is no reason to be burdened continually by people who don't believe in you, when there are people out there that will.

Some people are destined to be in your life for its entirety, some people are only meant to be in your lifetime for a season, and some are not supposed to be in your life at all. In our everyday lives it is most important to give us the best chance possible by being willing to run our race. You have to be who you really are, and work hard at the things that we know in our hearts are meant for us to accomplish.

Use your faith and be confident in the fact that your success is coming. Be faithful that you will not only have friends, but that you will also have friends that are truly the right people for your life.

Let go of any parts of your past that do nothing but bring you down and take you away from walking your walk, including people who offer no substance to the determined life you seek to take part in. 

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

~ Respect People's Feelings ~


" Respect people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them.....''

Treating people with respect makes your world a nicer place to live in, whether it's at home, at school, or out in your community. And it's easy - all you have to do is treat people the way you like to have them treat you. We live in a diverse nation made up of many different cultures, languages, races, and backgrounds. That kind of variety can make all our lives a lot more fun and interesting, but only if we get along with each other. And to do that we have to respect each other.

Learning how to respect everyone is one of the most vital of lessons that we can all learn. Think before you say something, some people just need people to listen and understand where they are coming from before they are preached at.

Be there when someone need you to be. Even when people make a situation seem unimportant, when a person asks you to be somewhere, they are asking you to be there because they truly want you there.

Just honor people in the same way that you want to feel honored. Though everyone has different standards and beliefs,
we should often put ourselves in the shoes of others in situations so that we can best try to gather the ways that they may be feeling possibly.

Just because something doesn't mean that much to you, or just because it will have little to no impact on your life, doesn't mean that the same mutual feelings will be shared by everyone else you encounter.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

~ Don't Play With People's Hearts ~

 Relationship Quotes

" Don't make a person fall for you if you have no intentions of catching them....."

 Why purposely hurt someone? Never make someone feel as though you are attempting to make more out of a relationship than you really are. Honesty is always the best policy. If you know that you aren't looking for much in a relationship and that you are only desiring to see what may come in the long run, be sure to tell the other person in the relationship this. If you see a person is falling faster than you may be comfortable with, be honest with yourself, and be honest with them, and let them off easy before even more feelings are invested into the relationship.

Sometimes we just are not ready for much, and we just want to test the waters, and there is nothing wrong with this. But be careful not to hurt anyone, and to be honest in your approach with them, if you have no intentions of reciprocating the same feelings they may have for you.

 People do lie, and cheat, and stab you in the back. There will be people who use you, and don't love you even though they say they do. But you can't let that stop you from living. Because there are people out there who do love you, and would never hurt you. You have to find those people and keep them in your life forever.

 Some people will do you wrong in life. People will say things about you that you never think they will, people will lie on you, people will cheat you, and people will purposely hurt you to try and make their selves feel better. There will be people in your life that you thought would be with you until the end, but they will fall out of your life. There will be people in your life that say they love you, until it is convenient for them not to love you anymore.

Never let bad people stop you from living life! For all the friends that leave your side and betray you, there will be those who will be there for you no matter what, and that do really love you! Though at times they may disappoint you because we are all human, you will know that they have the best of intentions. Find those people, and work hard to keep those people in your life forever!


~ Our Ways Are Not Always God's Ways ~

 Love for the sake of Allah never dies

Just because we desire something out of life, and just because we have a dream set up for ourself, doesn't mean that God wants that for us. Our ways are not always God's ways and this sets up perfectly to live a life on earth in which we learn how to trust, and how to love from a being that we can't even see with the naked eye.

Just as we feel that we should only believe in what makes sense to us, God tells us not to believe in anything unless it is from him! Just as we feel we should condemn others for being wrong, and not give love to people who hate us, God tells us to love everyone from our neighbors, to those who have committed the worst atrocities imaginable against us. Just as we expect to accumulate what we need by saving what we have, God tells us when you are in need, to give out what you need so that in return you will see a great harvest.

As you go through life just try to remember that this isn't our world, it's Gods, and our ways are not always Gods ways!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Never Allow Yourself To Become An Option ......


When we wait, and continue to wait for someone to decide if we are what they need, we not only limit our lives, but we also say to ourselves that we aren't important enough to be treated as special as we deserve to be.

Sure relationships have their rocky times, and sometimes we may all need a little break to be able to become stronger together, but we should never give someone the opportunity to make us an option that they can come back to whenever they please. We have to have enough confidence and respect for ourselves to know that our life should never be centered around another person. If a person truly loves us for who we are, they would never leave us hanging out to dry so long that we have no clue of when or if they will ever come back. 

Be yourself, and do the things that make you happy, when you do along the way you will find someone willing to be happy with you, instead of someone who feels like they can put you down, and pick you back up whenever you please.

Everyone has their breaking point. It is very easy to take a person for granted for so long when they continue to love you despite your ways, but don't get it confused, though some people's skin is thicker than others, everyone has a point in their life where they will get tired of being mistreated.

Instead of taking people for granted that love you, show them how much you appreciate them . This can be done by simply honoring them and doing small things to make them happy. This may also be done by just expressing your love to them in different and creative ways. Show how highly you value their love, and their presence in your life by going out of your way to do so. We are all given chances, but you never know when the last chance may be. Show your love, dont take them for granted!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

~ Struggle ~


No doubt, life is difficult for many of us, but very often we make it even more difficult for ourselves. When we do not understand the real nature and character of life we make our own difficulties. In every man's life five percent of his difficulties are brought about by the conditions of life, and ninety-five percent are difficulties caused by himself.

Now you will ask: When the difficulties come from ourselves, where do they come from? We do not like struggle in life, we do not like strife, we only want harmony, we only want peace. It must be understood, however, that before making peace, war is necessary, and that war must be made with our self. Our worst enemy is our self: our faults, our weaknesses, our limitations. And our mind is such a traitor! What does it? It covers our faults even from our own eyes, and points out to us the reason for all our difficulties: others! So it constantly deludes us keeping us unaware of the real enemy, and pushes us towards those others to fight them, showing them to us as our enemies.

Besides this, we must tune ourselves to God. As high we rise, so high becomes our point of view, and as high our point of view so wide becomes the horizon of our sight. When a person evolves higher and higher his point of view becomes wider and wider, and so in all he does he strikes the divine note, the note which is healing and comforting and peace-giving to all souls.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Serenity of Mind .........


We enjoy inner peace and feel happy and satisfied when life flows smoothly, and we have good relationships, good health, a good job and a good financial situation. We are usually at peace when there is nothing to worry about, no tension and no need to hurry.

Everyday life it isn't always like that. There is always something that causes worry, tension or fear, and which does not let us feel peaceful and calm. Nevertheless, we can enjoy peace, regardless of the state of our outer circumstances. Peace of mind is an inner state, and is independent of outer conditions. Why wait for never, for circumstances to be "right"? Why let outside circumstances decide for us the state of our mind?
Inner peace is within reach of everyone. It is not dependent on outer conditions, riches or poverty, health or sickness, physical freedom or lack of it. Everyone possesses the potential to enjoy it here and now. It is independent of outer circumstances, and a trained person can enjoy it even under the most trying circumstances.

Thoughts arise in us and we think them. We may choose to ignore them and experience real inner freedom, or we may choose to water them with the power of our attention and make them grow.
When you have to think, choose only positive, happy and uplifting thoughts. Think about and imagine only what you really and truly and desire and that will come to pass. Always remember that life is shaped according to your thoughts.

When the mind is silent there is happiness inside and happiness outside. It is a great asset and advantage to be able to silence the mind when its services are not needed.
The attainment of serenity of mind, which is actually freedom from the compulsion of incessant thinking, is open for everyone, provided the proper training is undertaken. Just reading this article you will not bring you peace of mind. When you understand its value and have a true desire to succeed, nothing can stand in your way. Though this is an inner state, work, time and persistence are required, just like the attainment of any other tangible goal.

Most people are enslaved by their predominant thoughts and habits. It does not occur to them that they can become free from their grasp. From the moment they wake up in the morning, to the moment they fall asleep at night, the chatter of the mind continues incessantly, giving no moment of rest. The habit of constantly thinking futile thoughts that prevent inner tranquility is very deeply ingrained in the human race. Nevertheless, this habit can be undone. The mind is a great and useful instrument, but it should not be allowed to rule our lives. It has to be obedient to us.

To change or get rid of an undesirable habit, we have to be aware of it, and consciously and attentively act in a different manner. Whatever new skill we develop, we have to train ourselves, until it turns into second nature and becomes easy to use. The same is with control our mind and thoughts.
True control the mind is not just the ability to concentrate on one thought and disregard other thoughts. It is the ability to cleanse the mind completely and make it silent. When one becomes really free from incessant thinking, he or she becomes free from slavery to the mind, as both thoughts and mind are one and the same thing. One then also comes to see and understand the ellusiveness of the mind.

When the clouds hide the sun, it is still there, beyond the clouds. Our Essence, our inner Self, is always here. We only need to remove the sheets and covers that envelope it in order to experience peace and calmness. These sheets and covers are our thoughts, ideas, habits and beliefs. I do not mean to tell you that you have to stop using your mind. You need it in order carry on your life. I mean that it has to be under the control of the Self. It should be your servant to serve you right, and not your master.

Everyone can learn a new language, but not everyone can reach the same level of expertise. Everyone can engage in bodybuilding, painting or writing, but each will reach a different level. It depends on the inner aptitude, the earnestness, and the time devoted to these activities. Yet, everyone will make some progress. So it is with training yourself to become free from the compulsion of incessant thinking and attain peace of mind.

Try to calm your mind when you feel agitated. Mentally, take a step back and watch your mind, as if looking at someone else's mind. This has the tendency to calm and relax it. Develop concentration power and meditate. All these actions calm the mind and make it serene.

Try to watch your thoughts during the day, as if they are not yours, without being sucked into them. Become conscious of the fact that you are watching your thoughts. Then this awareness of watching will increase.
You will have to remind yourself incessantly to practice watching your thoughts, as your mind will probably make you forget. Do not give up and you will succeed. If you practice as often as you can, you will be on the way to success. It may take some time, but the effort is more than worthwhile.

You can also increase your peace of mind by developing the power of concentration, by meditation, by physical exercise and by correct breathing. Remember!

You are not your mind!
You are not your thoughts!
You are not your ideas!
You are not your beliefs!
They may be yours, but they are not you.
They are instruments that you use. Do not let them control you.
What remains after they are rejected, is you, the real "I".
When thoughts cease, you still exist. There is no vacuum. When the emptiness of no thoughts is reached, you begin to feel your existence, your being. This emptiness is filled with something great, wonderful, powerful and sweet. You start living in Peace. You sail on the water of the calm mind.
This is Pure Existence.
When you realize this state you are free from thoughts and worries.
Then you are really free.
In this state nothing can influence you.
You stop acting instinctively on the prompt of each passing thought.
You become a completely conscious being, alive, strong, beyond everything.
Think of serenity of mind as a feasible possibility. Calm your mind with concentration, meditation and affirmations, and start enjoying peace of mind.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

~ Beneficial Lies – Are There Such Things? ~


We are taught from an early age that honesty is the best policy, but are there situations in which lying is beneficial or acceptable? That is the question many of us ask ourselves all the time. Sometimes we are faced with an impossible dilemma that causes us to have to choose whether or not to be 100% honest. Most of the time these situations involve matters of the heart or other factors that may lead to harmful consequences, either for ourselves or for someone we love. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be an easy answer to these questions. Any form of dishonesty could have lasting consequences, no matter what the original intention may have been. For this reason it is very important to think carefully about everything we say or choose not to say for that matter. Let us examine some of the most common situations in which we feel as if we have no choice but to lie.

Lying to Your Children .........

Parents find themselves lying to their children all the time about a number of different things. But where do we draw the line?  However, there are other lies we tell our children that are much more serious. For example, we may lie about something as important as our child's paternity or the circumstances of his/her birth. We may tell ourselves that this lie is intended to protect our child but the problem is that these lies often come back to haunt us. When considering which information you want to tell your child or keep from your child, play the tape all the way through. This means visualize how detrimental this lie could be if your child ever discovered the truth about it. Parents also lie to children about specific skills in order to boost their child's self-esteem. For instance, you may tell your child that he is very good at playing baseball when in fact he doesn't play very well at all. This may be a perfect example of a beneficial lie because it helps build the child's confidence.

Omitting Painful Details .........

Some people do not believe that withholding specific details is necessarily considered lying. Any time you omit any of the details from a story you are telling, in essence you are lying. It is important to realize that withholding information is actually considered a form of dishonesty. However, there is not always such a clear line as to which details would actually do no good were they to be told. For example, a husband confesses that he has had an affair. Is it necessary for him to tell his wife that the woman he cheated with was much more entertaining in bed? Withholding a detail such as that would spare his wife's feelings. This is the sort of detail that when left out could be considered a beneficial omission. The reality is that it is entirely possible to be too honest in some situations. It is very commendable to want to live as honestly as possible but it is also very important that you always consider the way specific information could affect someone. As a rule of thumb, if nothing good or useful can come out of telling the truth about a specific circumstance, sometimes it is better to leave it out.

Helping to Cover a Secret to Protect a Loved One .......

Knowing a secret that could hurt someone you love can be a very difficult position to be in. Chances are you may be confused by whether or not you should reveal the truth or whether you should help keep the secret.

While it may be admirable to want to protect the feelings of someone you love, withholding information from them could very easily backfire on you. When faced with a situation such as this, there are several things you will need to consider. Is the secret you are helping to keep from your loved one something that could put him/her in danger or injure him/her by not knowing? A good example of something you could help keep from a loved one that may put him/her in harms way would be to assist in concealing a sexual affair. No matter how much it hurts, everyone has a right to know if there is a possibility they could be exposed to a sexually transmitted disease. On the other hand, what if the secret you are keeping is about a harmless crush that never went anywhere? Is this the sort of secret you would find necessary to tell someone? Again, if the truth will serve no purpose other than to hurt someone's feelings, it may be best to leave it unsaid.

The truth of the matter is there are no simple solutions and no quick fixes to these issues. Everyone must follow their hearts when it comes to being honest with someone they care about. Our lives are filled with trials and errors and no one is perfect. The only thing we can do is strive to live as guilt free a life as we possibly can. If at the end of the day we can live with our decisions and we have gone without hurting another human being, perhaps that is the best we could have done.

The best thing to do when faced with a dilemma about a secret you are being asked to keep or a lie you feel is necessary, is to consider the consequences should the truth ever come out, and you are the one who withheld it. You are the only one who can decide how far you are willing to go to protect someone you love and how many risks you are willing to take in order to do so.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

~ Criticizing Others ~


 " Man does not like to admit his wrong attitude to himself. He is afraid of his own faults. But the man who looks his own error in the eye, the man who criticizes himself has no time to criticize others. It is that man who will prove to be wise. But human nature is generally such that one does something quite different. Everyone seems to be most interested in criticizing another. If one would criticize oneself there are endless faults, however saintly or wise one may be. There are no end of faults in a human being. And the consciousness of correcting one's faults, of making oneself better, of taking hold of the right attitude, is the only secret of success, and by it one attains to that goal which is the object of every soul........."

If you are guilty of criticizing others then this is a big problem that you need to work on and something that can have many negative consequences for both you and those close to you. Often we feel entitled to criticize people we know, or we can't help but to feel that others are doing something wrong or that they are less clued in than us. Sometimes we even criticize with good intentions because we want to encourage change and think that our advice can help. Whatever your reason for criticizing others though it is important to change and it's important to realize that constant criticism is only ever destructive and that there are far kinder ways to help someone grow.

Why Criticizing Others Is So Bad.......
The first reason that we should put an end to our criticizing is that when you criticize other people you will of course open yourself up to criticism as well. People don't like being judged, and so if they get the chance to put the shoe on the other foot they are of course going to jump at it. So unless you are genuinely perfect, you really shouldn't open up those flood gates. At the same time if you are critical then it will simply make you less popular – no one wants to be around someone who is constantly negative and telling them what they can't do, and so if that describes you then it's important that you change unless you want to push everyone away. Even if they aren't offended by your comments, if you are someone who is critical then you are going to eventually become associated with problems as it will seem that that's all you talk about.
These are the ways that being critical can come back to haunt you, but you should also think from a conscience perspective about how being so critical is simply unpleasant and can hurt others. Do you really want to be responsible for lowering the self-esteem of your friends and family? Because that is eventually what you will do.

Ending the Criticisms ......
So if you know yourself to be critical then it is time to stop. One of the most effective ways to do this is to simply learn to accept people for who they are and accept that different people go about things in different ways. Sure you might not like how someone is doing something, but equally you will probably find that they don't like the way that you do things either. There is no officially right way to go about things, so really you shouldn't judge people because you think their way is wrong. Be a bit open minded, have a really hard think about your own views and what they're founded in, and then decide if you are really fit to pass judgement on others. If you think that someone spends their money carelessly and shake your head at it, then perhaps they think that you are tight fisted and not living life to its fullest? There are two sides to every story. Ever heard the saying live and let live?

Likewise you need to remember that people might always have other things going on in their lives that you don't necessarily know about. In other words they might be overweight because they have a weak thyroid, or they might be might be miserable because they've had a recent death in their family. Again, you shouldn't judge until you know the full story – and you never know the full story.

Finally you should remember that if someone is moody or stupid or selfish – then that is their problem and it will come back and bite them in the rear eventually – it's not your job to tell them off. Apart from anything else criticizing other people simply isn't classy, so keep your opinion to yourself, smile and learn to get on with others.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

~ Never Give Up ~


Man is limited in his thought, in his speech, in his action. Therefore naturally he is liable to follies and errors, and his progress through life can only be made as a little child learns to walk. 

The child falls a thousand times before he can stand, and so many times he falls again when he begins to walk. We human beings are not more than the child before God. If we take this attitude in life, not considering that if yesterday we failed today we shall fail, and if we always hope that some day we shall walk aright, that hour will come. Imagine if the child thought that as he had fallen so often perhaps he would never walk! That would make a mental impression on his soul, and he would never be able to walk. But there is the natural impulse, with the hope, "Next time I shall walk", that makes him walk. So with us. Our follies, shortcomings, errors, are natural, but when we defend ourselves, hiding our errors from others and making virtues out of our shortcomings, it is then we make a mistake. 

It is just like nurturing our errors and wanting to err more. We must always develop the sense of justice, and that sense can never be developed if we judge others. The only way of developing that sense is to judge ourselves continually and see where we are in fault, and then in prayer to ask pardon and to ask for right guidance.

Monday, October 29, 2012

~ A Beautiful Soul ~


( In Memory of Dr Richard Teo (1972 - 2012)
Rest in peace, may God Bless you my friend.....)

Something to share.....
In Memory of Dr. Richard Teo (1972 - 2012)

Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who is a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer but selflessly came to share with the D1 class his life experience on 19-Jan-2012. He has just passed away few days ago on 18 October 2012.

Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of my life. It's my pleasure to be invited by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.

Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me that happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since I was young.

Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye.

So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.

You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a procedure done. So life was really good.

So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.

So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with the beautiful, rich and famous. This by the way is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know.

So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the pinnacle.

Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it.

This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything.

See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. But it wasn't. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down..

You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even hatred.

Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy.

Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn't it? What an irony isn't it?

There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn't. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff.

Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.

Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts.

Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn't handle it.

Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients.

A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.

Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.

Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system.

We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient's shoes.

Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and too little.

You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to know that they exist.

So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you today.

I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth, this is what I’m going through.

Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way.

Also most importantly, I think true joy comes from knowing God. Not knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and know about God – but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with God. I think that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.

So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive, even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened, it gave me a chance to come back to God.

Few things I’d learnt though:
1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important.
2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s absolutely alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with good wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth. It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.

We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further ourselves.

Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know that wealth without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up the wealth, as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all, you need to fill it up with the wealth of God.

Friday, October 26, 2012

~ Embracing The Mystery ~

When all the words have been written, and all the
phrases have been spoken, the great mystery of life
will still remain. We may map the terrains of our
lives, measure the farthest reaches of the universe,
but no amount of searching will ever reveal for certain
whether we are of chance or part of a
great design.

And who among us would have it otherwise? 

Who would wish to take the mystery out of the experience
of looking into a newborn infant’s eyes? 

Who would not feel in violation of something great if we had
knowledge of what has departed when we stare into
the face of one who has died? 

These are the events
that made us human, that define the distance
between the stars and us.


Still, this life is not easy. Much of its mystery is darkness. Tragedies occur, injustices exist. Bad things befall good people and sufferings are visited upon the innocent. To live we must take the lives of other species, to survive we must leave some of our brothers and sisters by the side of the road. We are prisoners of time, victims of biology, hostages of our own capacity to dream.

At times it all seems too much, impossible to accept.

We must stand against this. The world is a great mysterious place, and it’s possibilities are infinite, governed only by what our hearts can conceive. If we incline our hearts towards the darkness, we will see darkness. If we incline them toward the light, we will see the light.


Those of great heart have always known this. They have understood that, as honorable as it is to see the wrong and try to correct it, a life well lived must somehow celebrate the promise that life provides. The darkness at the limits of our knowledge; the darkness that sometimes seem to surround us is merely a way to make us reach beyond certainty, to make our lives a witness to hope, a testimony to possibility, an urge toward the best and the most honorable impulses that our hearts can conceive.

It is not hard. There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family. Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the opportunity for love.


If I am blind, I can run my hand across the back of a shell and celebrate beauty. If I have no legs, I can sit in quiet wonder before the restless murmurs of the sea. If I am wounded in spirit, I can reach out my hand to those who are hurting. If I am lonely, I can go among those who are desperate for love. There is no tragedy or injustice so great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.

And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference? The universe is vast and is a magical membrane of meaning, stretching across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change the world.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

~ Repent ~


When we have hurt someone there comes a reaction, and this reaction is that we feel sorry and wonder why we did it. A conscientious man, after having done some harm, has a strong desire to ask forgiveness.

Forgiveness will bring him a great relief and comfort and as long as he has not asked it he will always feel uncomfortable. If we only knew how amply we are provided with good things that even money cannot pay for! Everything we do may seem wrong in the eyes of the Creator, but His favor is such that we cannot repent enough of our follies and mistakes. But apart from our mistakes towards the Creator, there are those around us with whom we are connected outwardly, to whom every moment of the day we do something that is not right, something we might have done better. The more conscientious we are, the finer our feelings, the more we realize that we are full of follies and mistakes in regard to all those who surround us.

The natural way of consoling ourselves or of bringing comfort to ourselves is therefore to ask forgiveness. And the one who most deserves to be asked is God. It breaks a congestion in the heart and in the spirit, and it brings great comfort. The more we ask forgiveness, the better we begin to feel and think; and we are guided in this if we continue to ask forgiveness.

 'Lord, I have made many mistakes and I have many shortcomings, but let them not be known to mankind but only to Thee who are so compassionate.' 

It is the beauty of human nature to repent.

Monday, October 22, 2012

~ Wishing ~


Sometimes problems don’t require a solution to solve them; 
instead they require maturity to outgrow them ........

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

~ Reality ~


Don’t look at expressions on faces. Don’t listen to what is said with tongues. Don’t let tears sway you. They are all but products of human skin. It changes everyday. Look instead for what is under the skin. Not the heart either, as it also fluctuates, nor the mind, as it changes its point of view whenever it changes its perspective. Moreover, the mind may accept at present what it denied in the past. Even scientists change their theories.

If you want to understand a human, look at his or her action in a moment of free choice. Just then you will get very surprised as you may see a saint prostituting, and a whore praying! You may find a physician drinking poison, and you may get shocked by your friend stabbing your back, while your enemy saving you! You may see a servant who acts as noble as a master, and a master acts as despicable as the lowest servant! You may see kings taking bribes and wretches giving charity.

Look at man when there is no fear to stop him; when caution sleeps, desire gets satisfied and barriers fall. Just then you can see man’s reality: walking on four legs like an animal, or flying like an angel, or creeping like a snake, or eating mud like worms.
(Dr. Mustapha Mahmoud)

Thursday, September 27, 2012

~ Love And Truth ~


Sacred relationships rely on two currents of healing found within all relationships. The first is the current of love, support, generosity, and sympathy that manifests as the quality of gentleness. The second is the current of truth, justice, and righteousness that manifests as the quality of firmness. All relationships and all interactions are composed of these two intermingled currents.

To love without truth means to not see others, and therefore to relate to them in a shallow way. It also means to not be seen oneself, and therefore to pay the price of reduced intimacy. When we love without being truthful, we relate to others from the surface of ourselves. As a result, we may have difficulty feeling loving or that we are being loved. 

On the other hand, to have truth but not love, means to fall prey to judgment about the limitations of others. It is to create distance from others through the restriction of our gentleness and compassion, both of which are needed to develop intimacy and to help someone change and grow. In each of our relationships, love and truth, gentleness and firmness, must be tied to each other in such a way that each permeates the other. Only in this way can our life with others remain in balance.

Even though love comes from the heart, our culture also defines which actions will be perceived by us as loving, and which will not. 

Sometimes, it tells us that being truthful is not loving. Sometimes, it confuses us about what love really is. This confusion takes many of us in the direction of limiting our truthfulness so that we will appear loving, even though we don't really feel authentic in what we are expressing. It causes us to be afraid of being firm with others because we will be seen as 'making waves'. 

Within a sacred life, we are called to integrity before God. We are called to find ways of being honest with ourselves and with others in all forms of our expression. At the same time, we are called to become expressions of love. Because of this dual calling, we quickly come up against the cultural confusion we have lived with about what it is to be loving and what it is to be truthful. We need to find a way within ourselves to balance these two strands.

Sometimes being loving means to support someone in what they feel they need. This may include offers of sympathy, help, statements of affection, and affirmation of another's positive qualities. Sometimes being loving means to support someone in who they are inside - who they are as a soul - not in what they feel. This may include confronting unconscious behavior, setting limits, requiring accountability for words and actions, and saying "no" to what is being asked for. 

To make the distinction between these two currents of love and to decide which is needed in a given situation is not always easy. It requires a clear mind and heart to do so and the courage to speak the truth. Gestures that are typically loving and supportive are easier for us to offer to others than gestures that show love as truthfulness. This is not difficult to understand. To hear the positive truth about oneself feels like support and love to most people and is most often felt as nourishing. To hear the truth about limitations or blind spots does not commonly feel like love to others, first, because their sense of self may be uncertain and in need of bolstering, but more importantly, because they are not committed enough to seeing life as a learning process in which each limitation is revealed in order to be overcome.

The offering of truth to others must be done in a way that joins truth and love. This is only possible when the mind is not clouded by need or fear and the heart is filled with a spirit of generosity which seeks to help another in as pure a way as possible. When this is the case, our inner knowing of another can be offered to them as a mirror to the self so that they can see themselves through our eyes.

Inner knowing is built into each of us, and continues to be present even when we feel it to be missing. Our sense of truth is our inheritance; it is a function of our soul. It resides within our hearts as intuition and within our bodies as sensitivity and can be reached for at times of need, even though the way to it may seem dark. 

If we do not invalidate our sense of truth but rather seek it deliberately, we will find it in the deepest place of our heart. What gives us this inner knowing is not primarily any studying we have done about the human psyche, or any experiences we have had with groups of people. It is the innate goodness of our soul, our spiritual core, that tells us when something feels right to us and when it feels wrong. Intuition can be cultivated and enhanced over time, but it is always there. The more we rely on it, the more clear are the messages it sends to our conscious minds and the more we can trust these messages.

Our sense of truth tells us when what we are saying or doing serves the best interests of another, and when we are speaking because we are angry, frustrated, or impatient. These are not good reasons for being truthful. In fact, in the presence of these reasons, a good deal of the time we will not be truthful and most of the time we will not be well-received. It is only when our hearts are clear and we stand in the place of love, that we weave together the two currents of relationship that are gentleness and firmness. Only in the presence of both can we try to do what is best for others and can we believe in our own reasons for doing so.

The fear of speaking truth often causes us to accomodate to situations that do not serve the best interests of anybody. Generally, this is because we are afraid of the disapproval we might incur by standing for a point of view that is different from anyone else's. Many times this places us in false situations - situations where we do not express our true feelings for fear of being seen as not-loving - situations where we do not reveal what we think for fear of appearing different and unlikeable. 

Indeed, we are different; this is our gift and our destiny. We each have a unique perception to add to the world. But we are also the same. We are also human, struggling with the same learning process that others struggle with. It is our commitment to being human that makes us want to help others become more human as well. It is our commitment to being whole that makes us want to help others become whole as well. Fear limits our capacity to become more human and to become more whole. In the presence of fear, we walk around as half of ourselves rather than as a whole being.

In the end, our capacity to be loving and our capacity to be truthful rest upon the strength of our desire to live life with integrity - to be truly ourselves as God would have us be. Only when we wish for this in a deep way, can we find the courage that is needed to stand for what we believe in and to speak for what we stand. When this is the case, all of our interactions with others become a testimony to the values we hold. If we do not betray ourselves, we support others in becoming more truthful as well. To express our love through both gentleness and firmness is the goal of our wholeness. It is to bring into balance the two currents of healing that can help humanity grow.

 (Julie Redstone)

Friday, September 21, 2012

~ Love ? ~




What Is Love? It Definitely Isn't...

  • Manipulation. "If you loved me, then you would..." isn't love, but rather infatuation.

  • Compromising who you are. If someone asks you to do or say something that isn't in your nature, that isn't true love. Although love does involve compromises between partners, someone who is in love with you will never ask you to change who you are in order to be loved.

  • Violent. Passions can definitely become inflamed with someone you love, but a relationship with physical or emotional violence isn't true love.
  • Just lust. Yes, chemistry and physical attraction are important, but true love also includes commitment, trust and respect. 

So then, what exactly is love?

True Love Is...

  • True Love is Caring. The ancient Greeks had many different names for different forms of love: passion, virtuous, affection for the family, desire, and general affection. But no matter how love is defined, they all hold a common trait: caring.

  • True Love is Attractive. Attraction and chemistry form the bond that allows people to mate. Without this romantic desire for another individual, a relationship is nothing more than lust or infatuation.

  • True Love is Attached. Like the mother-child bond, attachment comes after the initial attraction. Attachment is the long term love that appears anywhere from one to three years into a romantic relationship (sometimes sooner and very rarely after), and you'll know you've found it when you can honestly say, "I've seen the worst and the best you have to offer, and I still love you," while your partner feels the same way.

  • True Love is Committed. When it comes to true love, commitment is more than just monogamy. Its the knowledge that your partner cares for you and has your back, no matter what the circumstances. People who are strongly commityed to one another will, when faced with seemingly negative information about their partner, see only the positive. For example, a friend comments that your partner doesn't say a lot. "Ah yes, he's the strong, silent type," you reply. People with less commitment to their partner would instead say something like, "Yeah, I can never have conversation with him. Its annoying."

  • True Love is Intimate. Intimacy is a crucial component of all relationships, regardless of their nature. In order to know another, you need to share parts of yourself. This self-revealing behavior, when reciprocated, forms an emotional bond. Over time this bond strengthens and even evolves, so that two people merge closer and closer together. Intimacy by itself if is a great friendship, but compiled with the other things in this list, it forms an equation for true love.

Monday, September 17, 2012

~ Every Man has his own little World ~


EVERY MAN has his own little world, so little sometimes that it is like a doll's house, and in that little world he is not concerned with the world outside or with the universe; he just lives in his small world so full of illness, misery and ill luck. He cannot come out of it, for he has built a little shell for himself in which he lives, a shell of misery. He likes to live in it for it is his own home.

Human beings living in their shells are mostly unaware of the privilege of life and so are unthankful to the Giver of it. In order to see the grace of God man must open his eyes and raise his head from his little world. Then he will see – above and below, to the right and the left, before and behind – the grace of God reaching him from everywhere in abundance.

If we try to thank God we might thank for thousands of years and it would never be enough. But if man stays in his own little shell he does not find the grace of God; he finds misery, injustice, ugliness, coldness.

When one looks down one sees the mud; when one looks up one sees the sun, the moon, the planets. It all depends how we look: upwards or downwards.

Every day we should have a time in the evening or in the morning to think of what we have experienced during the day, to consider how many mercies and gifts of God we have received, and how less worthy we are of them; to think what we have done wrong –  how we may have hurt the feeling of another by inattention, by a kind of insult, by not doing what he wished when it was in our power to do it. We should never say that we are beyond this. We should say that,  we are liable to mistakes, then your experience will be a teacher.

Friday, September 14, 2012



IF THIS question were asked of several people each would perhaps make out a list of not less than a thousand things that he wanted in life. And yet even after writing them all down one rarely knows what one really wants. What one apparently wants in life is not what one really wants, for the nature of the outer life is illusion. As soon as one feels that one wants this or that, then the world of illusion will answer, 'Yes, you want me, this is the particular thing you want in life,' but when a person thinks he lacks something in life he only sees the outer lack. He does not find the lack which is within himself.

There is no doubt that what we lack most in life is to be tuned with the infinite and to be in rhythm with the infinite. In other words to be in rhythm with the conditions of life and to be in tune with the source of our existence. Our perpetual complaints against all things in life come from our not being in rhythm with the diverse conditions of life that we have to face. And then we think that if these conditions would only change into something that we wish, it would make our life easier. But that is an inexperienced expectation. If we were placed in the very conditions that we had just desired, believing them to be the best, we would not even then say that we were quite satisfied. We would surely find something lacking in that condition also. For with all the errors and mistakes and shortcomings we find in our external life, we see a perfect hand working behind it all. And if we looked at life a little more closely than we generally do we would certainly find that all the lacks and errors and mistakes and faults add up to something, making life as complete as the wise hand which is working behind it wishes it to be.