Wednesday, December 31, 2014

10 Things to Let Go Before 2014 Ends ............

let go before 2014 ends

With the New Year coming, it’s time to do some cleaning and it isn’t your house that needs to be de-cluttered. It’s your soul that could use a little lightening.

When all of those toxic thoughts and emotions are clogging your mind, there isn’t any room for the good stuff. You need to clean out those negative thoughts and make room for new, exciting and positive emotions that will come in the New Year.

If you have been carrying around too much baggage then this cleaning is for you. Check out these 10 things to let go of so you can enjoy a happy, healthy 2015:

1. Jealousy is truly a green-eyed monster that fosters too many negative emotions. You have to let go of that jealousy and realize what you have is amazing and you don’t need to envy anybody else.

2. Self-doubt will make getting out of bed very difficult. You are a beautiful person and God loves you. Forget about the rest!

3. Guilt is a horrible burden to carry. Ask for forgiveness and move on. Don’t let it mire you down in the muck.

4. Painful emotional memories can hold you back from enjoying all that life has to offer. It is easy to get hung up on the pain and forget all about the good stuff that happens around you.

5. Anger is a dangerous emotion. It can make you physically and mentally ill. You have to let it go and embrace forgiveness or figure out a way to make a change that will leave you feeling less angry.

6. Feeling inferior in your group of friends, co-workers or in life in general is not warranted. You are just as deserving of love and respect and you must let go of those inferiority feelings and rise up.

7. Feeling trapped can quickly lead to negative emotions. If you feel like you are stuck in a relationship, job or other situation; pray and make plans to get out.

8. Feeling insecure all the time is a lot of stress. Let go of the insecurity and remind yourself you are good at your job or you are in a loving relationship.

9. Being afraid of the future or the unknown can hold you back. Embrace the future and trust in your faith to carry you through.

10. Regret will leave you stuck in the past. Let it go. You may have made a wrong decision, but it is over. It is time to move forward. Accept what happened and learn from the mistake. You are human!

Why Can't We Say Sorry ..............

Why Can't We Say Sorry

Sorry is really the hardest word to say.

I am sorry
Call it inception or pre-conditioned exposure, but all our lives we've been programmed to think that we are great, we are good, we are the most talented/ important/ wonderful person in the world.

Whether by our parents, grandparents, teachers, leaders, etc., we are taught that we must always think highly of ourselves. Never apologise for who we are but this is sort of like a flaw in design. Hence, maybe in some perverse way, we assumed that we are never wrong or could do no wrong. Not in the eyes of our biggest fans. But mistakes do happen.
"I'm sorry!" – just two words but so hard to form in our mouth and say it out loud.

Why can't we say it?

Apologising means we're acknowledging that we've done something wrong and a mistake has happened. It is an admission that we're just as vulnerable as the next person. Some feel this is a threat to their status quo while losing a bit of dignity and sense of self-worth is hard to swallow.

It's all about pride really. We fear that apologising will make us appear weak and in danger of losing the power we have over someone or anyone. It makes us look incompetent or inadequate.

We can all identify with how challenging an endeavour this apologising business is. Admit it, who likes to be in the wrong? So, we stay in denial in the hopes that if there's no admission of fault, then there is no need for accountability or to take responsibility.

Fact is, saying sorry is meant to make us feel vulnerable. It is a soul-baring exercise that helps us to build empathy and be open to another person's feelings or perspective. It's not easy to admit that we've hurt someone or cause a great deal of pain, and harder still to see ourselves in a less-than-positive light.

But when we are able to face our flaws and take responsibility for our shortcomings, it makes us human. It is then easier to make things right again.

 Sometimes it's really not about being right but rather being aware of the bigger picture. So say the equally important words – I'm sorry – because it matters.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Let Go of Yesterday and Live ..............

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.”Hermann Hesse

It’s true that your past contributes to who you are today – what you think, what you say, and what you feel. However, dwelling on your past can hinder the happiness and personal growth that are waiting for you right now.

More important, letting go of the past gives you a clearer perspective; a freer perspective to be in the present moment. Let go of yesterday and live for today.

 Frustration. No one likes to be stuck. But if you focus on the feeling of being stuck, the frustration can give you energy. Take in how frustrated you are with where you are, you’ll be more likely to use it to make a fresh start, and truly put it behind you.

 Give up the victimhood. Everyone is a victim at some point in their life, and there is no doubt that terrible things may have happened to you that were unfair. But seeing yourself as a victim is being focused on the past. Instead, look forward to who you can be today, master of your own destiny.

Expand Your Self Perception. Many times, the problem with being fixated on yesterday is that you see yourself a certain way, as being a certain way. Sometimes, you can get beyond this problem simply by realizing that some of the ways that you view yourself may be incorrect. Try to see yourself with fresh eyes and new opportunities will arise.

 Give yourself more credit. Fixation on the mistakes of the past often occur because you are being too hard on yourself. Mistakes happen. The reason is often a small thing, and not related to your value as a person. The problem is that we tend to connect our self worth to our mistakes, when instead we should focus on our accomplishments.

 View your mistakes as gifts. Your mistakes don’t have some deep meaning about whether you matter. They are gifts that show you the way forward.

Making a list of goals can help you shift your focus towards the future. Your life should be about tomorrow and not the day before. You can help yourself move in a new direction by getting a sense of what you want out of life. 

 Pay attention to how you feel. If you can figure out what is making all the negative emotions happen, you can often undo them and focus on other things.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Stop Anger Before It Stops You ..........

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced - some of us only occasionally, some almost daily. Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not. We will always have expectations, and those expectations will often be unmet. Disappointment is the principle cause of anger. When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame. Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger. Anger is always directed at someone - 

You've told yourself a hundred times that you aren't going to get angry - really angry - ever again, but wham, you start to feel that telltale heat, locked shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Someone has just done something really awful and you are angry at them. What now?

 7 Secrets to Stop Anger before It Stops You:

1. Recognize when you are angry: It may not immediately occur to you that you are angry. You know that you have been wronged, and you can see everyone around you take a step back, but especially if you are really angry, it may take a while to gain the clarity to acknowledge your anger. Anger clouds perception and thinking, so make a special effort to spot it early and put it into words, "I am angry."

2. Breathe deeply: Concentrate on taking slow deep breaths. Sometimes this is all it takes to break out of anger and gain clarity on the issue. At other times, breathing deeply is just a beginning, but it paves the way for the rest of the secrets.

3. Focus your anger: Get clear what you are angry about and who you are angry at. Talk to yourself, "I am angry at Joe because he ..." Don't let your anger expand onto innocent bystanders, especially those trying to help calm you down. Don't refocus your anger onto everything that Joe has ever done or failed to do.

4. Remember that you are in charge: Anger is an expression of frustration and helplessness. Remember that you always have options - you can design your own life. No one can steal your happiness - unless you let them.

5. Look for the silver lining: There is a silver lining to every disappointment. Your boss fired you and you are furious. Probably it was a blessing. Now you have the opportunity to get a better job that you really enjoy.

6. Consider forgiveness: Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a place to put down roots. Forgive everyone for everything in order to give anger and resentment a chance to fade. Forgive and you can become happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness.

7. Accept that Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair": Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions. To choose happiness, be open to receiving whatever life throws at you - with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Keep It In Your Hand ....... Not In Your Heart


As much as you can, keep dunya (worldly life) in your hand--not in your heart. 
That means when someone insults you, keep it out of your heart so it doesn't make you bitter or defensive. When someone praises you, also keep it out of your heart, so it doesn't make you arrogant and self-deluded. When you face hardship and stress, don't absorb it in your heart, so you don't become hopeless and overwhelmed. Instead keep it in your hands and realize that everything passes. 
When you're given a gift by God, don't hold it in your heart. Hold it in your hand so that you don't begin to love the gift more than the giver. 
And so that when it is taken away you can truly respond with 'inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon': 'indeed we belong to God, and to God we return'.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Silence ...........


Sometimes  in silence that answers are finally found.

Friday, December 12, 2014

40 Pelajaran oleh Nabi Muhammad SAW ..........


01. Menahan diri daripada tidur diantara waktu fajar dan ishraq, asar dan maghrib, maghrib dan isya.

02. Menghindarkan diri mendekati orang yang mempunyai bau yang kurang menyenangkan.

03. Jangan tidur diantara manusia yang berkata buruk sebelum tidur.

04. Jangan makan atau minum menggunakan tangan kiri.

05. Jangan memakan kembali makanan yang telah dikeluarkan dari celah gigi anda.

06. Jangan mematah-matahkan jari anda.

07. Periksa kasut anda sebelum memakainya.

08. Jangan mendongak ketika sedang solat.

09. Jangan meludah didalam tandas.

10. Jangan membersihkan gigi anda dengan arang.

11. Duduk ketika sedang memakai seluar/kain
12. Jangan memecahkan benda yang keras/sukar menggunakan gigi anda.

13. Jangan meniup makanan yang sedang panas, sebaliknya anda boleh mengipasnya.

14. Jangan mencari kesalahan orang lain.

15. Jangan bercakap diantara waktu azan dan iqamat.

16. Jangan bercakap didalam tandas.

17. Jangan berkata dongeng(palsu) tentang rakan anda.

18. Jangan mengganggu ketenteraman rakan anda.

19. Jangan memandang belakang secara kerap apabila sedang berjalan.

20. Jangan menghentakkan kaki ketika sedang berjalan.

21. Jangan mencurigai tentang rakan anda.

22. Jangan menipu sepanjang masa.

23. Jangan menghidu makanan ketika anda sedang makan.

24. Berkata dengan jelas, agar orang lain boleh faham apa yang anda katakan.

25. Hindarkan berjalan sendirian.

26. Jangan membuat keputusan sendiri, tapi rujuk pada yang arif.

27. Jangan bangga(riak) akan diri sendiri.

28. Jangan mencela makanan anda.

29. Jangan bermegah(sombong).

30. Jangan menghalau pengemis.

31. Layan tetamu anda dengan ikhlas dan baik.

32. Sabar ketika dalam kesusahan.

33. Membantu dengan tujuan yang baik.

34. Muhasabah diri dan bertaubat.

35. Berbuat baik pada mereka yang berbuat jahat padamu.

36. Berpuas hati dengan apa yang anda ada saat ini.

37. Jangan tidur berlebihan-ini akan menyebabkan penyakit lupa.

38. Bertaubat sekurang-kurangnya 100 kali sehari (istighfar).

39. Jangan makan dalam gelap.

40. Jangan makan dengan mulut yang penuh.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

65 Things You Should Remember After Someone Has Done You Wrong ...........


Part of growing up is realizing that people aren’t always nice, and sometimes those you thought you knew so well will stab you right in the nuts (both of them).
After you’ve been castrated and left to bleed on the side of the road, you become aware of the harsh truth that a large part of life is spent learning how to take the blows.
Because no one goes through life unscathed. We’ve all had our hearts ripped out at least once, and we’ve all had the wind knocked out of us — figuratively and literally.

We’ve all experienced heartache and betrayal, treachery and deceit. The older we get, the harder we become, building a strong outer wall to protect us against phonies and unsuspecting stabs in the back.
We learn to deal with pain, teach ourselves how to heal and grow stronger after each attack. We create coping mechanisms and share advice, secrets and tricks to mending our fragile, yet resilient, hearts.
We all know what it’s like to be wronged, to have the people closest to us treat us worse than any stranger could.

We’ve all experienced friends who’ve turned into enemies and lovers who’ve turned into distant memories of the people we once knew. That’s life.

Life isn’t about perfect relationships or smooth sailing, it’s about falling as far as you can and climbing even higher the second time around. It’s about meeting new people and learning from the ones who’ve done you wrong.

So if someone just did you dirty, took your heart out of your body and stomped on it, leaving you to wash it off and put it back in bruised and leaking, just remember these 65 things:

1. Karma…
2. Karma…
3. Karma.
4. They’re probably going to do it again…
5. So it’s a good thing they’re out of your life.
6. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
7. (Just like Kanye.)
8. You will love again.
9. Don’t trust so easily next time.
10. Not everyone is out to get you.
11. Having your guard up is a good thing…
12. But don’t have it up too high.
13. There’s nothing your mother’s cooking can’t fix.
14. They make voodoo dolls for this reason.
15. Remember, it’s OK to eat your feelings.
16. There’s always an album that will understand what you’re feeling at this exact moment.
17. You can’t change people.
18. You’re not supposed to have a million friends.
19. Social media will never make you feel better.
20. No matter how many statuses you post, it won’t take the pain away.
21. Time is the worst and best thing.
22. Sometimes you just need a bubble bath.
24. You deserve better.
25. There, literally, are too many fish in the sea.
26. This is what art is made out of…
27. And the best way to get over someone is to turn them into literature.
28. The most important relationship you have is with yourself.
29. Speaking of Carrie Bradshaw, there’s always “Sex and The City.”
30. It’s not about you, it’s about them.
31. At least you weren’t married for 72 days.
32. There’s always someone worse off than you are.
33. There are people who love you who would never hurt you… like Ben and Jerry.
34. This is what maturing looks like.
35. It’s also what we call a “learning experience.”
36. Because something always comes out of the pain.
38. Everything happens for a reason.
39. This is what burning bridges is for.
40. There’s nothing wrong with staying in bed for a whole weekend.
41. You’re allowed to burn photos…
42. And untag Facebook ones.
43. But make sure to GET OFF FACEBOOK.
44. What goes around comes around, just ask Justin Timberlake.
45. Now you know who your real friends are.
46. This is what stress balls were made for.
47. You can always join a fight club…
48. Or get really into working out.
49. There’s always alcohol…
50. And weed…
51. Lots of weed…
52. And dark bars filled with strangers.
53. Remember, “this too shall pass.”
53. You’ll understand “Atonement” even better now… and you’ll get to see Keira Knightley again.
54. This is a good time to take a vacation.
55. “Don’t get mad. Get even.”
56. This should just inspire you to work harder and get your revenge.
57. This is what Elite Daily is for.
58. You can’t win them all.
59. It’s the bad in life that makes you appreciate the good.
60. Pain really does make you stronger.
61. You will not remember this in 10 years.
62. OK, maybe 20 (it must have been really bad).
63. Holding on to anger doesn’t solve anything.
64. There are good people out there, I promise.
65. This is happening for a reason


Thursday, December 4, 2014


Bagamana Jenazah Mufti Boleh Berada Di Perkuburan Kristian
Kisah ini terjadi di India.

Pada suatu hari, seorang mufti meninggal dunia dan beliau pun disemadikan di tanah perkuburan Islam. Pada hari yang sama, seorang remaja perempuan Kristian telah meninggal dunia dan disimpan di tanah perkuburan Kristian. Disebabkan oleh suatu kes jenayah yang tidak dapat diselesaikan, pihak polis terpaksa menggali semula kubur remaja perempuan Kristian tersebut. Alangkah terkejutnya mereka tatkala mendapati mayat perempuan tersebut tidak ada di situ bahkan di kubur itu tersemadinya jenazah seorang mufti! Mereka semua bingung dan hairan bagaimana jenazah boleh bertukar dengan lain.

Hasil perbincangan bersama-sama penduduk Muslim, pihak polis kemudiannya menggali semula kubur mufti tersebut yang asalnya berada di tanah perkuburan Islam. Sekali lagi mengejutkan. Di kubur tersebut, mereka telah menjumpai jenazah remaja perempuan Kristian tadi. Orang ramai semakin bingung. Berita itu tersebar luas sehingga memaksa mereka bertanya kepada waris si mati mengenai apa yang telah remaja perempuan dan mufti itu amalkan ketika di dunia. Mesti ada sesuatu yang Allah hendak jadikan pengajaran terhadap peristiwa bertukarnya kubur itu.

Ibu bapa kepada jenazah perempuan Kristian itu memberitahu, ”Ketika anak kami hidup, dia ada berhasrat untuk memeluk agama Islam tetapi kami menghalangnya. Kami sendiri tidak tahu status agamanya ketika dia meninggal dunia. Adakah masih dalam Kristian atau memeluk Islam secara senyap-senyap.”

Isteri kepada mufti itu pula menceritakan, ”Sepanjang hidup, suami saya memang seorang yang banyak membantu masyarakat menyelesaikan pelbagai masalah agama. Ramai orang bertanyakan kepadanya pelbagai perkara dan dia dapat menyelesaikannya dengan baik. Setiap malam dia akan bangun bersolat tahajjud.” Mereka yang mendengar masih tidak menemui kecacatan kepada sifat mufti itu. Dia seorang yang mulia dan berjasa kepada masyarakat. Tapi, mengapa Allah menukarkan kuburnya ke tanah perkuburan Kristian. Sehinggalah, si isteri meneruskan ceritanya. ”… Cuma, kadang-kadang saya terdengar suami saya merungut sesuatu. Sewaktu dia bangun untuk solat malam, dia berkata, ’Susahnya jadi orang Islam. Kena solat, kena buat itu … kena buat ini … . Jadi orang agama lain kan senang? Tak perlu nak susah-susah buat semua tu’.”

Kadang-kadang, kita tak tahu, amalan manakah yang boleh mendatangkan kemurkaan Allah. Sebab itulah, kita perlu menjauhi semua perkara dan jangan banyak soal mengapa Allah menyuruh kita berbuat sesuatu dan melarang kita berbuat yg lain.

Kadang-kadang, dengan niat yang salah pun Allah murka! Kita juga tidak tahu, amalan manakah yang boleh mendatangkan ’senyuman’ Allah. Sebab itulah, kita mesti berusaha untuk melakukan segala kebaikan dan jangan banyak soal mengapa Allah perintahkan kita berbuat itu dan berbuat ini. Dengan niat yang baik pun, Allah suka!

Berhati-hatilah tatkala anda memberi pendapat mengenai sesuatu pelaksanaan hukum-hukum Allah. Tidak takutkah anda dimurkai Allah? Siapa kita untuk mempertikaikan perintah Allah?- Wallahua’lam

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Soulmates For Life?.......

Soulmates For Life?_Aquila Style

Few weeks ago, on a glorious afternoon, I met a good friend of mine. As we chatted over a cup of coffee in the hectic city of Jakarta, our conversation took an unexpectedly profound turn.

Some of our talks were so lame, with me asking my friend to intercede in, well, boy trouble. I feel particularly sorry and ashamed of myself for getting so emotionally absorbed with this trivial problem when there are bigger, real-life issues I should actually be concerned about.

Nevertheless, the thought of a long, lonesome wait for a “shuttle” while others are embracing their loved ones on the curb was just too much for my little heart to bear sometimes. This might sound superfluous, but the thing is that, for girls in their 20s (quarter life), thoughts of finding the right person to be by our sides to face the cruel world every day are inevitable.

In this regard, it’s no wonder that the search for a lifetime partner, also famously considered a soulmate, becomes one of the most important phases in our lives.
On that afternoon with my good friend, our conversation traversed along various pathways until it landed on that loaded word “soulmate”. Right out of the blue, she blatantly asked me, “What do you mean by soulmate? Please define for me the term ‘soulmate’.”

Spontaneously, I said, “It’s the person you are destined to be with, the one whom you are going to spend the rest of your life with, the one who will be there for you no matter what –  your spouse.”

My friend raised an eyebrow, “Really? So they should marry and be happy?”
And I naively replied, “Of course, they should be together and live happily ever after; everyone in this world has their soulmate destined for them.”
“Then what about people who divorce? What about those who stay single for the rest of their lives? How about unhappily married couples? Are they really soulmates?” my friend mused.
I paused and pondered. At that very moment, I realised that my definition of “soulmate” was based on Disney’s and Hollywood’s superficial, wishful “someday-my-prince-will-come” construction.
I have been programmed to believe that a soulmate is someone who will meet our every wish and need when it comes to love. Well, the reality showed evidence of the contrary.

That afternoon’s tête-à-tête left a nagging question in my mind afterwards. So what makes a soulmate then? The previously crystal-clear definition of soulmate inspired by unrealistic Hollywood romance had vanished, leaving behind a nebulous idea.

After some contemplation, I realised that it was time to redefine that word from one based on a romantic point of view, to one shaped by philosophical insight. I once read Elizabeth Gilbert’s phenomenal book, Eat, Pray, Love, and I think the term “soulmate” was rather wisely described there:
“People think that soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a  true soulmate is a mirror, […] the person who brings you to your own attention so that you can change your life. A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soulmate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. And thank God for it.”[I]

By this definition, having a soulmate is no longer about a long, winding road to a “happily-ever-after” ending with someone. Rather, it is a powerful idea you can live by. Everything in this world is subject to transformation and nobody can promise you a happy ending except you.

You are going to meet a lot of soulmates in your life. They will teach you important life lessons, which can be intensely painful at times, but that’s how you will grow as a person. And isn’t this what life is about?
At the end of the day, unpacking the flowery myths surrounding the idea of a “soulmate” will help you to better cope with reality. The truth is, if you are so busy buying into the “glossy”, socially constructed definition, you’ll miss out on experiencing the true meaning of being soulmates.

Because sometimes having a soulmate is really about the journey to finding yourself, and not about finding your spouse.


Friday, November 21, 2014

The Search for Love ...........

I spent my life running after the creation. I have always been what you might call ‘needy’. I needed friends, I needed people. All the time. And I couldn’t handle letdowns.

But at the heart of what makes us run after the creation, is simply love. The need to give and receive love. This need has been put in us by the Creator. And every need created by God, has been created for a purpose. The need to give and receive love was created as a driver. A driver that pushes us back to God. You see, we began with God, and God wants us to come back to Him in this life—even before we come back to Him in the next. So He puts inside us, drivers intended to bring us back. Intended to bring us back Home.

But our problem is we get lost along the way.
We can’t deny the drive; but we get lost because we seek to fulfill it in the wrong way. We look to fulfill that need in the wrong place. The driver was created by God to take us to Him. But instead, that driver takes us towards the creation. And that’s where we get lost.
Why do we run after other people? Why do we run after money? Why do we run after status, or power? We run after these things because we want love and respect. And we believe that by attaining these things, we will succeed at getting both love and respect.

But there is a fascinating formula that governs this world. And it is very, very simple. Unfortunately, we almost always get this formula wrong.  Yes, we all have that same driver inside us, but the human being is hasty. We prefer the immediate over the delayed, the seen over the unseen, the physical over the spiritual. We run first to what we can see and feel and touch. We run first to what we *think* is closer. We do this because while the human being is needy and dependent, the human being is also impatient and weak. We go for what seems closest, easiest, quickest.

So we go towards the creation.
See, we think that the more we run after this world (dunya)–the more we run after the love of people, and wealth and beauty and status–the more we will have of it. We think that the more intensely we want something, the more likely we are to get it. And when we don’t get it, we become angry—so angry—at God Himself. As though the *intensity* of my wanting, somehow makes me entitled to having.
But the more we drown in this false equation, the more we fail at reaching our goal, and the more we miss the true–but simple–equation of love and life. That equation is clear: The more intensely we want the creation itself, the less likely we are to attain it. If it is love you need, and you seek it from the creation, you will never *truly* get it. Or get enough. Anything of the creation sought for its own sake will evade you.
And will never fill you.
Even happiness itself: The more you run after it, the more it evades you. But if you run to God instead, happiness will run after you. If you run to God instead, the love of people will run after you. If you run to God instead, success will run after you. True success in this life, and the next. If you run to God instead, provision will run after you. This, brothers and sisters, is the secret formula for which tyrants have burned down cities, and kings have searched the world—but never found.
This is the secret. The only formula you need to know.

In a profound hadith (Prophetic teaching), a man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said: “ O Messenger of God, direct me to an act, which if I do, God will love me and people will love me.” He said: “Detach yourself from the world, and God will love you. Detach yourself from what is with the people, and the people will love you.”  [Ibn Majah]

Ironically, the less we chase after the approval and love of the people, the more we gain it. The less needy we are of others, the more people are drawn to us and seek our company. This hadith teaches us a profound Truth. Only by breaking out of the orbit of the creation, can we succeed with both God—and people.
To run to God is a movement of the heart. To run to God is to strive with everything He has given you. Running to God is movement. If you are passive, you are not moving. You are falling. Movement to God, running to God, is to face your heart towards Him in every motion of life. It is to face every goal, every intention, every End towards Him. He becomes the object of your striving. The means of your striving. The ultimate End of your striving. But you keep striving. You keep working to be the best mother you can. The best father. The best neighbor, the best student, daughter, son, employee.
This is the legacy of all our Prophets, peace be upon them all. Their bodies were in dunya. Striving. The Prophet (pbuh) was the best leader, the best father, the best husband, the best friend. His body was working hard in dunya. For a while. But his heart was always with Allah. His heart was already in Akhira (Hereafter), even while his body was still here—for a time. His heart was already Home. His heart saw through the illusions of this life. His limbs worked hard. So hard. He bled, and cried, and strived. His body stood until his feet cracked. His body was abused in Ta’if. His body lost sleep, and felt hunger, and thirst, and fever, and pain. And loss.

But his heart faced only Allah.
And with Allah there is no hunger, thirst, pain, or loss. His body had to strive in different directions; he was a father, a leader, a friend, a husband. But while his body had to strive in all those places, his heart faced only One. Only one direction.

His heart faced only God.
As Ibrahim (AS) said so beautifully:


His heart faced only God.
As Ibrahim (AS) said so beautifully:
“Indeed, I have turned my face toward He who created the heavens and the earth, inclining toward truth, and I am not of those who associate others with Allah.” (6:79)

Ibrahim (AS) focused the face of his heart only on Allah. Completely. Haneefan. Completely. You will find that to only partially face your heart to God is to suffer. And that suffering is in proportion to the degree of partial submission.
Allah tells us in the Quran:
“O you who have believed, enter into submission completely [whole-heartedly] and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.” (2:208)

There is pain in just partial submission. There is a pain in not entering into peace and security—the *only* peace and security—completely. With one’s *whole* heart. There is pain in half a sajdah (prostration). There is a pain in putting your heart (even partially) in anyone else’s hands. And that pain continues until you turn your entire heart *only* in one direction. Until you turn your entire heart *only* towards Him. He becomes the only true aim of your striving.

As we say at least 17 times every single day: “You alone do we worship and You alone do we seek for help.” (1:5). Allah is the only true End, and the only true means to that End. No one gets to Allah without Allah. La hawla wa la quwat illa billah: “There is no change and no strength, except by God.”
The one who turns his heart completely to God in this way, reaches true freedom. And that person can no longer be harmed by the creation. The fire couldn’t burn Prophet Ibrahim (AS). The ‘fires’ of the creation cannot harm the one who’s heart faces only God. The financial, physical, emotional, social, and psychological fires cannot harm the one who’s heart is *only* with God. Externally, the person might look harmed, but in Reality, such a person is never harmed. The haqiqah of the situation is not harm, but good, as we know from the words of our beloved Prophet (pbuh):
“Strange is the case of a believer, there is good for him in everything—and this is only for the believer. If a blessing reaches him, he is grateful to God, which is good for him, and if an adversity reaches him, he is patient which is good for him.” [Muslim]

And this is *only* for the believer. This is only for the one who’s heart is turned completely and *only* in one direction. Remember, Allah says:
“O you who have believed, enter into Islam [submission and peacefulness] completely [whole-heartedly] and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.” (2:208)

Enter into peace and security completely. Complete security is only for those who enter *completely*. But remember the heart is not a still entity. The heart is by definition that which turns (hence the Arabic word for heart ‘qalb’ comes from the root which means ‘to turn’). The heart by definition is that which turns. So our object in life is to keep bringing the heart back to focus, back to center, back to God. And we consistently seek God’s help, as the Prophet (pbuh) used to supplicate most of all: “Oh turner of hearts, set our hearts firm on Your deen (way).”

This constant reorientation is tawbah. Return. Again and again and again. Until we meet Him. Only the one who gives up this fight, fails. Only the one who—due to complacency or despair—gives up the fight of constantly bringing the heart back to focus, fails in this life and the next.
We all want love. From God, and from the creation. We are all running towards something. Ironically, the more we run after the creation, the more the creation runs away from us! As soon as we stop running after the creation, and reorient, as soon as we start running towards God, the creation runs after us. It’s a simple, simple formula:
Run towards the creation, you lose God and the creation. Run towards God, you gain God *and* the creation.

Allah is Al Wadud (The Source of Love). Therefore, love comes from God—not people. As one author, Charles F. Haanel, put it: “To acquire love… fill yourself up with it until you become a magnet.”
When you fill yourself with the Source of love (Al Wadud), you become a magnet for love. Allah teaches us this in the beautiful hadith Qudsi:

“If Allah has loved a servant [of His], He calls Gabriel (on whom be peace)     and says: ‘I love So-and-so, therefore love him.’” He (the Prophet pbuh) said: “So Gabriel loves him. Then he (Gabriel) calls out in heaven, saying: ‘Allah loves So-and-so, therefore love him.’ And the inhabitants of heaven love him.” He (the Prophet pbuh) said: “Then acceptance is established for him on earth. (Muslim Bukhari, Malik, ; Tirmidhi)

We’re all running. But so few of us are running in the right direction. We have the same goal. But to get there, we need to stop. And examine if we are running towards the Source–or just a reflection.


Saturday, November 15, 2014

Lessons ............

(This article is about Yasmin Mogahed, received her B.S. Degree in Psychology and her Masters in Journalism and Mass Communications from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. After completing her graduate work, she taught Islamic Studies and served as a youth coordinator. She also worked as a writing instructor at Cardinal Stritch University and a staff columnist for the Islam section of InFocus News. Currently she’s an instructor for  AlMaghrib Institute, a writer for the Huffington Post, an international speaker, and author, where she focuses most of her work on spiritual and personal development. Yasmin recently released her new book, Reclaim Your Heart, which is now available worldwide. Visit her website,, where you can find a collection of her articles, poetry, and lectures. )

(This is written by her husband ...

I know this will come as shocking, unexpected, and even confusing news. But this was not an abrupt decision. We have been discussing and considering this for a couple years now.

The same way we came into this marriage--smiling, holding hands, with love, mercy and kindness-- is the same way we exit it. We started it for His sake, and we decided to move on and wish each other the best for His sake. Many will wonder what 'happened'. Nothing 'happened'. There was no drama, fitna, fighting, arguing, nor anger that contributed to this decision. There's no animosity, no ill feelings. There is no regret, no sadness, no feeling of time wasted. None of that. This was khair for us. God allowed us to grow through each other, become better people, and come closer to Him as a result. We're thankful for that. Some will wonder who's to blame. There is no blame. There's nothing wrong with the other person, on the contrary, we see an abundance of good. Many will ask 'WHY?' So here it is, it's this simple: This is two people who care for each other deeply and think very highly of one another, but feel due to differences in nature, growing apart, and irresolvable incompatibility, that it's best to go their separate ways at this point. That's it. God made this permissible for a reason. He just asks us to us to 'dissolve (it) in a goodly manner, with kindness' (2:229). And so we hope and pray we're doing this in the best way. In a way that is pleasing to Him.
We fully plan and intend on having a friendly, positive relationship moving forward, cooperating together for the kids (living in close proximity so each has access to them daily) and still working on a joint seminar, various projects and programs together inshaAllah. We also have agreed to attend and speak at each others (next) weddings, inshaAllah. Yes. Seriously.

This picture of us holding hands was taken shortly before we signed and made our divorce official. We were both smiling, gave each other a final hug, and prayed the best for one another. I know this seems strange to you. But it feels so right. Like this was all meant to be, happen and end in this way. Exactly. Alhamdulillah.



A lot of commentary is flying around about my recent divorce. The words that my former husband (beautifully) strung together in his statement will never allow perfect strangers to understand the depth of a situation. Often we forget that words are only limited approximations of internal universes and life altering experience. Given the limited nature of words, many will often misunderstand them or only process them at a very surface level.

To clarify for all those who are also struggling in their marriages or who will struggle. My former husband and I did not take this decision overnight--but after *years* of effort, prayer, and counsel. We did not decide to go forward with this decision simply because we grew apart, or had different natures. Many people can grow apart and grow back together. And many people with different natures can make it work beautifully. The reason we took this decision, after years of effort and prayer, was due to irresolvable incompatibility. There was no animosity, no ill feeling--only mutual care and respect, alhamdulilah. But at the end of the day, after we have *exhausted* 'our part', it still may not work, as was the case with Zaynab (RA) and Zaid (RA) and many of the companions.

Our deen is a deen of balance and ihsan (beautiful conduct), in whatever we do. Ihsan when we get married. And ihsan when we get divorced. Islam is not a part time job. It doesn't just teach us what to do when things go our way. It teaches what to do when they don't. Islam doesn't just teach us how to walk when the weather is nice, but how to continue walking--with strength and grace--even when it's storming. This is the power of la illaha Illa Allah. No matter what happens, no matter the storm, if you hold onto the rope of Allah, you will never, ever drown.

Allahu akbar.

Walk With Me ..........


"   Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend  ."

Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Stars .........



Some people make their goals the stars,
They may live and die never reaching them,
but in the darkness of the night,

those stars will guide them to their destination,
because they put them in their sights.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Go Easy With Yourself ............

" No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. 
Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s Decree.
 If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.”

(-Umar Ibn al-Khattab)

Having wasted enough time locked in my mind, berating myself for this, that and the other, I want to offer a bit of advice: Please stop being so hard on yourself! I mean, seriously, isn’t there enough criticism and judgment in society nowadays, without us turning the accusing spotlight on our own flaws?

I can admit, I’m naturally quite a sensitive person, so when I mess up, I’m aware that I seriously take it to heart. And unfortunately, for my poor heart, I mess up a whole lot. If you’re like me, you know it can take days, weeks or even, months to get over something regrettable. I beat myself to a pulp each time and I can assure you, it has never, ever helped. So (after years of this), it’s finally sinking in that perhaps it’d be a good idea to change the way I handle things.

I know it might feel natural some of the time, but ruminating on the what ifs and shoulda-coulda-wouldas is entirely a waste of energy. It literally drains you and drags you right down — but what else are you supposed to do?
Well, here are five ways to start to help you be just that little bit easier on yourself:

1. Let go

Leave the past where it belongs — in the past. How many times have we all heard that one? But, putting these well known nuggets of wisdom into practice is always a challenge before the change. It’s time to acknowledge that it happened, notice that it doesn’t feel great, throw it a million miles away from mind and move on.

2. Forgive

This is where I struggle, because surely, my mistakes must all be punished? No! People don’t make mistakes intentionally — they’re not acts of malice, but unfortunate errors of judgment. Take responsibility, but then realize what your intent was and forgive yourself. Try to learn your lesson and apologize to others if they were involved. But, remember that you can’t change what happened — you can only make sure it doesn’t happen again.

3. Trust

Begin to work on trusting yourself. A lot of my self-criticism comes from a place of low self-esteem and high self-doubt. Trust and truly know who you are and what you value. When you know what you want, you’ll have the focus to stay on track and keep working toward your goal; there’s no place for rumination, as you know it won’t serve you. There must be a healthy dose of self-belief and reassurance because you trust in your capabilities and potential growth. And thus, you grow.

4. Do your best

Always do your best. Forget about trying to attain perfection and just do what you have the resources to achieve. Knowing that you’re doing your best will allow you to feel like you’ve done enough. If you need to fine-tune your methods, by all means do; however, keep the criticism at a constructive level and magnitude. Judge your actions with self love and keep your best interests in mind.

5. Give yourself credit

How often do you recall your wrongdoings? And, how often do you congratulate yourself on everything you’ve done correctly? Is there an imbalance present? Every single little victory at every size of success should necessitate at least twice as much of your thinking time as every mistake. I cannot stress enough the importance of giving yourself that pat on the back at the end of a hard day or an affirmation to yourself when it’s deserved. Focus on your successes and forget all about your perceived failures.

 Ultimately, all you can do is continue to move forward. Choose the direction that’s paved with positive thoughts and follow it, turning a blind eye to any negativity. You deserve better — be the first to give it to yourself.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Don’t Apologize For Loving Someone – Not Ever ................


We can love, love, love but sometimes that love isn’t returned. That’s not our fault. To love or not to love is a choice. We chose to love. They chose not to. This does not mean we are unloveable or unworthy of love. We’re not idiots, fools, or weak for loving. Rather, we have courage. Because we chose to be vulnerable and self-sacrificing; a requirement for love. And when it was over, though the echoes of the painful experiences reverberate in the depths of our being, we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off, and we keep pressing onward. 

I’ve made it a promise, in my personal life to never apologize for loving people, even if that love is never returned. To be unloving is the other person’s problem, not mine. 

At the end of our life, the only things you’ll regret are 
 1) Not taking more risks and 
2) Not being more loving toward others.” 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

NILAI SEBENAR SEORANG ISTERI... ..........(The Value Of A Wife)


A speaker having a little game to guests in the hall with families and ask one person to come forward.

SPEAKER: "Write 10 names closest to you"
Then the man wrote 10 names, neighbors, parents, coworkers, friends, children and even his wife and so on.

SPEAKER: "Now please select 7 in which you want to continue to live with it"

The man who wrote to delete 3 names now.

SPEAKER: "Now take two more names, so stay 5 is the only name on the board ..."

SPEAKER: "Remove 2 names again ..."

The remaining three names, the names of parents, children and his wife.

The hall became silent, they think everything is done and no longer has to be chosen.

SPEAKER suddenly said: "Please remove one name again!"

The man slowly take difficult decisions and to delete the names of her parents.

SPEAKER: "Please select one name again!"

The man became confused. Then lifting chalk and reluctantly began to erase his
child's name and the man started to cry.

After a while .................

SPEAKER asked the man, "why did you not choose your parents who have given birth and raise you , not even selecting a child of your own flesh and blood, while a wife you can find another one ?"

Everyone in the hall is transfixed awaiting a response from the man.

Then the man said:

"As time passed, my parents would go away from me, and if an adult child is getting married, and will also leave me. Whereas really can accompany me in this life is my WIFE. Parents and children is not my choice, but God who confer it. While WIFE, I was chosen from many women who are in this world. "

Hopefully we can all take lessons from the story above. Love your wife ..


Seorang penceramah mengadakan permainan kecil kepada tetamu di dewan yang sudah berkeluarga dan meminta 1 orang datang ke depan

PENCERAMAH: ”Tulis 10 nama yang paling rapat dengan anda”
Lalu lelaki tersebut menuliskan 10 nama, ada nama jiran, orang tua, teman kerja, sahabat, anak dan juga isterinya serta seterusnya. 

PENCERAMAH: "Sekarang sila pilih 7 di antaranya anda ingin hidup terus bersamanya"

Lelaki itu memadam 3 nama yang ditulisnya tadi.

PENCERAMAH: "Sekarang hapuskan 2 nama lagi, sehingga tinggal 5 nama sahaja di papan tersebut..."

PENCERAMAH : “Hapus 2 nama lagi...”
Maka tinggal 3 nama, iaitu nama orang tua, anak dan isterinya.
Suasana dewan menjadi hening, mereka berfikir semua sudah selesai dan tak ada lagi yang harus dipilih.

Tiba-tiba PENCERAMAH berkata: “Silakan padam 1 nama lagi!”
Lelaki itu dengan perlahan-lahan mengambil keputusan yang sulit dan menghapus nama orang tuanya.

PENCERAMAH : "Silakan pilih 1 nama lagi!"
Lelaki tersebut menjadi bingung. Kemudian mengangkat kapur dan dengan berat hati mulai menghapus nama anaknya dan lelaki itu pun menangis.

Setelah suasana tenang,

PENCERAMAH bertanya kepada lelaki itu, "kenapa kau tidak memilih orang tuamu yang telah melahirkan dan membesarkanmu, tidak juga memilih anak yang darah daging anda sendiri, sedangkan isteri itu dapat kau cari lagi?"

Semua orang di dalam dewan tersebut terpaku menunggu jawapan dari lelaki tersebut.

Lalu lelaki itu menjawab: 

”Seiring waktu berlalu, orang tua saya akan pergi meninggalkan saya, manakala anak jika sudah dewasa akan berkahwin, dan juga pasti akan meninggalkan saya. Sedangkan yang benar-benar boleh menemani saya dalam hidup ini hanyalah ISTERI saya. Orang tua dan anak bukan saya yang memilih, tapi Tuhan yang menganugerahkannya. Sedangkan ISTERI, sayalah yang memilih dari sekian banyak wanita yang ada di dunia ini.”

Semoga kita semua boleh mengambil hikmah dari cerita diatas. Sayangilah isteri anda..