Monday, March 21, 2011

~ Colors You Wear Reflect Your Mood ~

Colors You Wear Reflect Your Mood .........

1. Wearing Green - Nurturing and Earthy.

Green is considered to be one of the most healing among all the colors.

Because green is the color of trees and grasses it is a wonderful color choice to wear anytime you are wanting to feel more in-tune with nature. Green represents the Spring season and new growth. Choose this color to wear whenever you are embarking on something new or wish to turn over a new leaf.

2. Wearing Blue - Serenity and Calm.

Wearing blue helps create a place of calm and serenity.

Wearing ocean hues of blue is especially calming. Indigo or darker blues can offer more of a comfort zone feeling, almost as if you are sinking into a pool of warm water. Blues in general remind me of a favorite pair of well-worn denim jeans - now that's simply relaxing.

3. Wearing Gray or Black - Invisibility and Blending In.

Wearing grays and blacks can be depressive.

Let's face it, black and gray are fashion basics. We all have the basic black suit or black dress slacks that are a must wear for a number of different social settings. Aside from the slinky spaghetti strapped number you have hanging in the back of the closet, you likely choose to wear black because you prefer to blend in and not make any statement. Wearing black will allow you to keep a low-profile in social settings if that is your intention. Don't wear black if you want to stand out amidst a crowd. Most folks don't even bother to wear black at funerals anymore, it's just too sad to wear dreary and dark colors.

4. Wearing Orange - Energetic and Creative

Orange urges you to get out into the world and create something grand!

Orange is a very high energy color. Its creativity juices are extremely intoxicating and sweet tasting. Wearing orange is fun and can make you feel quite playful. Artists love dabbling with orange hues. Orange screams with sexual energy too, not surprising since orange is associated with the sacral chakra. Because of its highly-charged intensity some people cannot comfortably wear this color. Adorning yourself with an orange accent piece can add a hint of playfulness. Beware, if you need to complete a mundane project avoid wearing orange as it might interfere with the stick-to-it-ness required to stay on task.

5. Wearing Pink - Open Heart.
Wearing pink conveys compassion and an open heart.

Most people associate pink with babies, little girls, and feminine energies. But more than feeling feminine, wearing pink conveys compassion and an open heart. When people are wearing pink, whether they are male or female, they appear approachable and capable of loving others. If you want to feel heart-connected reach for that pastel pink sweater from your closet to wear. And if pastel colors don't suit you try on something in bright fuchsia. You'll feel pretty in pink.

6. Wearing Purple - Unique and Special.

Wearing purple shows others that you want to be noticed.

Purple is seldom worn as a neutral color. Purple is the wrong color choice to make if you are wanting to blend in among others as you go about your business. The color purple, especially shades of violet, will definitely make a statement. Wearing purple shows others that you want to be noticed. If it is your desire to feel special and unique then purple is the right color choice. If you would like to send a message out into the world that you're one of a kind and that you could care less about conformity, then wear purple.

7. Wearing Red - Powerful and Confident

Red can really pack a punch when needed.

Red is a very powerful color. Wear red whenever you feel a need to portray confidence or would like to boost your self esteem. However, be aware that wearing too much red can make a person come off a little too intimidating to others who may lack self confidence in themselves. Visualizing the color red can help ground your energies so anyone who has "flighty" tendencies will benefit from wearing red to serve as a reminder to ground themselves throughout the day.

8. Wearing White - Fresh Outlook - New Beginnings.

Wearing white will help reduce any nagging feelings of disappointment or drudge.

White represents cleansing and new beginnings. Putting on a white blouse feels like being given an opportunity to start the day with a clean slate. Wearing a white garment, as long as it hasn't taken on any discoloration from too much laundering, can offer a fresh and bright outlook. Be sure to get rid of any dingy white clothes often, replacing them with brighter whites.

9. Wearing Yellow - Cheerful and Happy.
Yellow is the perfect color to wear whenever your spirits needs an uplift.

Yellow carries the same healing qualities associated with the sun. It offers warmth, optimism, and light. All shades of yellows and golds will cheer you up and help make you feel happier. Wearing yellow out into the world makes an affirmation statement. For certain, yellow is a perky color!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

~ Relationship Paradigm ~

Relationship Paradigm ......

When a woman buys a new pair of shoes or a man buys a new car, what are they looking for? In most cases, we have a preconceived idea of what we like; when we see it, we buy it. Sometimes the purchase is made even when we can't afford it. The preconceived idea is called our paradigm. For some of us, our paradigm is flawed because we either return the shoes or trade the car in within three years or less. The same principle applies to our relationship paradigm.

Sometimes we pick the person we like only to want to return them or trade them in within three years or less. Even when you are in a relationship that meets your paradigm and you are satisfied, it is possible that your mate is not satisfied. In that case you might end up holding your paradigm by yourself.

Our relationship paradigm is not just influenced by what we have preconceived is attractive; it is also impacted by what happens to us when we encounter a person who meets that paradigm. When you are with that person, your heart skips a beat, and you feel a lil' heat. You don't wanna take it slow, even though you know you have a long way to go, you are probably in your paradigm.

The physiological response that feels like you are high is the result of the brain releasing a chemical called dopamine. If both of you feel the vibe, the tendency will be to drive until your bodies intersect. When your bodies crash in pleasure, you just might close your eyes, open your mouth, and begin to quiver, this is because your brain has released another chemical called oxytocin. Dopamine is stimulated by our emotional feelings and oxytocin is stimulated by physical touch.

The desire to experience the feelings that person provides motivates us, just like the feelings we get when shopping for a new pair of shoes or driving a new car. The problem is that our relationships are not inanimate objects that are simply based on good feelings.

Sometimes we desire to wear different shoes and drive different cars because the fashion and the style change. Perhaps after foot surgery you can no longer wear heels. If you are married with children, a two-seat convertible is no longer practical. Likewise, what we are attracted to often shifts over time. When our relationship paradigm shifts, the absence of those past-felt emotions puts our relationship at risk.

If you leave a glass of water unattended for an extended period of time, eventually the water will evaporate. For a relationship to last, it constantly needs love poured into it that is manifested by attention, appreciation, affection, encouragement, comfort, and respect. Without a manifestation of unconditional love, it does not matter how good you feel when you are together, eventually your paradigm will shift.

If our relationship paradigm gets us to the point of marriage, we must understand that God intends for you to be as faithful to one another . The marriage vows represent a covenant that is binding by God, but the marriage license represents a contract that is binding by an attorney. With divorce rates over 50% we know that people break contracts, but God desires that we keep covenant.

There are legitimate reasons for terminating a relationship such as adultery and domestic violence, but the desire to return our relationship like a pair of shoes or trade it in like a car just because our relationship paradigm has shifted is unacceptable.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

~ What Makes a Man? ~

What Makes a Man? ..............

What makes a man and what is the true measure of manhood?

Temperature is measured in degrees
Weight is measured in pounds
Speed is measured by miles per hour
Liquid is measured in ounces
Distance is measured by miles
Time is measured in hours
Hard drives are measured by megabytes
Pressure is measured by PSI
Genius is measured by IQ
True manhood is measured in virtues

True manhood is measured in virtues. The best way to define virtue is through the telescope of manly courage and valor. It is the quality of doing what is right when doing what is wrong is much easier.

The virtues of true manhood…

A true man is secure in himself; unflinching in the face of the mixed messages heralded by society concerning: sex, manhood, fatherhood and husbandhood.

He inherently recognizes his duty to God, his family, community, country and government.

He leads with a servant’s heart; filled with love and endued with compassion; concerned about the needs and feelings of his fellowman.

He lives by the law of all for one and one for all.

He never sells out his family or community for filthy lucre’s sake.

His character is marked by his integrity, fidelity and loyalty. No matter how other men conduct or represent themselves, he lives by the law: “My word is my bond.”

He does not leave his family and community vulnerable to risks, attacks or dangers. Protecting them is one of his utmost concerns.

His diligence in fulfilling his responsibilities is demonstrated daily as he vigilantly seeks the spiritual, moral, health, educational, social, and economic prosperity of his people.

He never abandons his flesh and blood or leaves his family or community dangling in the wind.

He is a griot; he perpetuates the family legacy, traditions and vision through the future generations.

How he deals with adversity distinguishes him from the multitudes of males who succumb to temptations, crack under pressure and cower under in times of challenge and hardship.

Always executing that which is right and good for his family and community; he has the courage and resolve to make tough unpopular decisions.

His vision of the family is a loving, vibrant, cohesive, healthy and tightly knit unit and he never jeopardizes that vision.

He does not squint his eyes in the face of injustice or inhumanity; he is resolved to helping and improving mankind.

He is not a respecter of persons.

He prepares his sons and daughters for the future.

He doesn’t misconstrue his kindness as a sign of weakness.

His character is marked by dignity, honor and chivalry.

He is known as a champion amongst champions.

He is able to admit and amend his faults and receive advice and guidance without being arrogant, stubborn or prideful.

He does not recompense evil with evil; instead he repays evil with good.

He is a cultivator and as such, he brings out the best in people.

He respects his elders and comprehends the immense value of their sage advice.

He is called an awesome son, the best brother a sister could have, a true friend, a great husband, a doting and loving father, a trusted confidant, a caring and benevolent man.

His character is marked by his good stewardship.

He knows his God-given purpose and understands and utilizes his God-given gifts, talents and abilities for the benefit and blessing of mankind.

This is the true measure of a man.

~ Unclaimed Baggage ~

Unclaimed Baggage ...........

One day I woke up and found myself in an indescribable place. Well, more like an out of body trip. I couldn't figure out where I was going or how I got there but what I saw before me were these two big heavy bags, big enough to stuff a body in.

I wondered, "Where the hell am I and whose big ass bags are these?" So just out of curiosity, I opened the bags.

One was filled to capacity with fear, sadness, rejection, depression, worry, disgust, self-pity, low self-esteem, and anger while the other bag was also just as heavy. However when I opened it, to my surprise, it was empty.

In the bottom of the empty bag was a small note that read, "You will know what to do with this bag once the time is right."

So I'm thinking, "I not only don't know where I am or how I got there but now, I have to carry these two heavy bags around. Hell, do they even belong to me? I don't see my name on them. Who in the world would carry bags around like this?"

Suddenly a train appeared... "All aboard" shouted the engineer. I ran to the doors as they flung open and tried to get on the train but my bags just got in the way. I felt someone take the bags from me, to put them under the train. You could feel the bags hit the floorboard (THUMP).

Before the train could pull off, someone was escorting me off and back to my bags. "Madam I'm sorry, we have a weight capacity. Your bags are entirely too heavy to board the train. You can either leave them here or empty something out and wait for the next train."

So I took my bags and looked inside the full one to see what I would remove while I waited for the next train. I decided to remove sadness and put that in the empty bag for I was sure it weighed the most.

When the next train appeared I ran over to it, heavy bags and all. But still the same response from the conductor, "Bags too heavy."

Train after train I was being told the same thing. So I carefully removed each emotion from the one bag to place in the empty one. I didn't want to throw them away because I was just an overseer of the bags.

I am a responsible person you know. Whoever left me with these bags must really trust me to keep them and handle them with care. "Whose bags are these any way and how did I become responsible for them?" I shouted.

The last train appeared. Before I got on, I looked into what was once an empty, heavy bag but was now filled with all those emotions from the old bag and I zipped it up. Then I peered inside the now new empty bag and saw a mirror with a note attached.

I gazed at myself in the mirror and I looked tired. Hell I was tired! Tired of those bags! Tired of deciding which emotion I was going to get rid of for they all were heavy. Then I realized those use to be my emotions, all bagged up with nowhere to go. I carried them around tucked and hidden away, just in case I needed to use them again one day.

I stopped gazing in the mirror only to read the note attached, "Keep this bag and carry it with you thru your journey, for this is where you will store your hopes, dreams, passion, faith, blessings, and possibilities. Never close this bag or you'll miss the opportunity to spill some of these new emotions onto someone else who needs them too."

Quickly I ran over to the train with my newly lighter bag with a big smile on my face. And as I boarded, I heard a voice in the distance say, "Madam you left your other bag."

I smiled and winked and said, "I have my bag!"

For you see, I don't know who that bag belongs to now... just know that it's no longer mine.

Friday, March 18, 2011

~ The 4 Stages of Relationships ~

The 4 Stages of Relationships :

What would happen if a woman gave birth 3 months after she conceived? The duration of a normal pregnancy is approximately 10 months. The development of the child from embryo to fetus and finally to newborn occurs within 3 trimesters.

Each trimester represents a stage that the child needs to develop. If a woman gave birth shortly after she conceived, the child would not be fully developed and could possibly die. The same principle applies to our relationships. When we do not take our time going through the natural stages of a relationship, it's likely the relationship will not develop properly and it could die prematurely.

The 4 Basic Stages of Relationships Are:


Casual acquaintance

Intimate acquaintance


Stranger ........
Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought to yourself, "they are a really nice person?" Although they may have created a great first impression, you must not loose sight of the fact that they are a stranger and you don't know enough about them to determine if they are a nice person or not.

A snake in the grass may look like a stick until it bites you. Most of us are like chameleons in that we have the ability to take the color of our environment. We wear social masks with different personas for different situations. Therefore when we meet a stranger, it is likely you're meeting their persona and not their true character.

Casual Acquaintance .........
Communication is an important tool in relationships. It is used to go from the person being a stranger to them becoming a casual acquaintance. It is said that 10% of communication is verbal and the other 90% is non-verbal, which includes voice tone, eye-to-eye contact and body language. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like duck, it's probably a duck.

In a casual acquaintance relationship, you may go beyond studying the person by just looking at them and begin to see if their talk matches their walk. This can be done in a very informal manner whether it be at the office, or any other environment that gives you the opportunity to be observant.

Intimate Acquaintance ........
If you dial someone's home number and you miss a digit, you will not get through. The same should be so for establishing an intimate acquaintance. If they do not connect with the right place in the home of your spirit and soul, they should not get through your invisible, emotional wall. An intimate acquaintance will get to know personal details about you that if revealed in public could be embarrassing.

The law of magnetism in essence says like people are attracted to one another. Any person who gets emotionally close to you should have enough in common with you that you are able to support and comfort one another in a time of need.

Friendship ..............
Have you ever thought somebody was your friend only to find that they were only a casual acquaintance? Calling somebody a friend without going through the stages of relationships is like calling a child an adult simply because their body is developed.

A friend is an intimate companion that loves you unconditionally and has proven that they can be trusted. God gives us friends to be with us in the good and the bad times. We should not be so quick to call people friends, but allow the relationship to develop over time just like an embryo develops from a fetus to a healthy child.

Are you willing to take your time and allow God to guide you through the stages of relationships?

~ Are They Really Your Friend? ~

Are They Really Your Friend? ..........

I Thought You Were My Friend?
Have you ever thought someone was your friend only to later find out that the person was your enemy?

The reason that most of us falsely identify people as friends is because we do not use God's standard to measure true friendship. So often we call people that we like "friends" when in reality they are "acquaintances" or "associates."

Friendship can best be described as a personal relationship between two parties where there is a God ordained covenant, unconditional love, reciprocal giving, and mutual trust.
When you reflect on those you call friends how many of them meet that standard? What binds friends together is their covenant. A covenant is like a contract but more serious. A covenant is an agreement between two parties that is binding by God, whereas a contract is an agreement between two parties that is binding by an attorney.

Although marriage is the primary covenant relationship next to God, friendships are next in importance. If married people were truly friends there would be fewer incidences of divorce because they would have practiced the principle of covenant before they got married. The people who are involved in a covenant friendship are faithful to one another because they believe that God has ordained their relationship.

Unconditional Love; The Secret Ingredient
The foundation for covenant is unconditional love. You may not always like your friend but God requires you to love them. This is not the emotional touchy feely type of love but the type of love God expresses to us unconditionally. This type of love is an attitude that expresses itself in sacrifice when you have a need, patience when required, and kindness regardless as to the circumstances.

Love is important because the fire of adversity will test all friendships. A tea bag has to be heated up before it can become a refreshing glass of tea. Likewise a relationship has to go through trials before it can qualify as a friendship. Love is the foundation during those difficult times.

The love that you have for your friend will motivate you to give when they are in need. If your friend has a need and you have the ability to share, then it is your responsibility to meet that need.

Your friend may not have the same ability to give as you do. Giving's motivation should always be love without a hidden agenda. Trust is the security and confidence that you acquire over time.

The Perfect Friend…
Nobody is perfect including your best friend; therefore your primary trust should be in God. God will lead you to a friend that you can have confidence in because their trust is in Him. Would you take off your clothes in the presence of your friend? If the answer is “no,” it is probably because you do not trust them.

You know that they are your friend when you can emotionally take off the clothes that you use to hide who you really are underneath and share your heart without having to worry about your confidence being violated.

A friend is not just a person that you like. A friend is a person that God has ordained a covenant with unconditional love, with giving and they have proven that they can be trusted. If you can look back at your life and call two people, “friends,” you have been blessed.

How many friends have you had?

Friday, March 4, 2011

~ Don't Forget To ~

Don't Forget To...

by Jessica

People always have their good days and their bad days. Life in general is supposed to be a great thing that you only get one shot at. I believe some of us forget what life is all about. You're supposed to be living every day like it is your last... Work yes, but don't forget to play too. When the sun is out, skip the laundry for a few hours and go soak it up. Live your life.

We are all such creatures of habit and we get so caught up in the "wake, work, eat, and sleep" routine that we forget to stop and smell the roses. Hundreds of thousands of people lose their lives to cancer, diseases, old age, etc. every year. I'm sure most of them "wished" they would have done this or that, or "regretted" not going and seeing things they wanted to see, or doing things they wanted to do. Young people's lives are cut short and they really do not always get to experience the things they want to before they pass away. So...

Do the things you want to do, be who you want to be, see what you want to see. If you want to tour Europe, do it! If you want to skydive, then skydive! If you want to climb a tree, climb it! If you want to run a marathon, run it! You only live once. People forget what life is all about.

Sometimes we need to make our dreams a reality because you never know when your last day will be. I'm not saying "go out and quit your job" or "take a sick day". What I'm saying is... all the time people spend "working extra" or "doing housework" or "playing video games, watching TV, on Myspace /Facebook all day... etc." is time you can be spending living your dreams. If it's a beautiful day outside, go see the world... go explore the area you live in... be spontaneous. You don't always need TV's Xboxes and Computers to have fun. You don't always have to spend money either. I'm sure most people have not even found the hidden beauty their surroundings bring them. Go explore up a river, or a secret beach, or take a short drive or a short hike until you find something satisfying. Take pictures, because you will regret not doing it!!!

A friend of mine had her life cut short due to cancer at only 17 years old. She was a brilliant person and brought happiness to everyone around her. She had the same hopes, wishes and dreams that everyone else her age has. It saddens me to think she didn't get to "live it up" like everyone else did. I know she is looking down at everyone smiling because they are living life to the fullest. She is the strongest person I have ever met. She did not let her sickness get her down. She had a heart of gold and her smile was always brighter than the sun. She lived her life to its fullest potential every day she had all the way down to her last. She was a great person and had great dreams. She taught me to never let something get you down, as bad as it always may seem there will be something good to come of it. She passed away in April and they had a wonderful Celebration of Life for her. She is definitely someone I will NEVER forget. I will continue my life with a positive attitude and tons of enlightenment thanks to her.

I plan on crossing 10 or more things off my "Bucket List" each year of my life until I myself pass or until there is nothing left on the list. If my list runs out, I will simply think of more positive experiences and fun things to do until I croak. I would like everyone else who reads this to do the same. Appreciate the life you have, even the ups and downs. We all have them, and if you get through them it only will make you stronger. If you fall, just get right back up. See the world, be yourself, imagine things, create things, experience the unexperienced, and most important... have fun and don't forget to stop and smell the roses.