Thursday, November 15, 2012

~ Criticizing Others ~


 " Man does not like to admit his wrong attitude to himself. He is afraid of his own faults. But the man who looks his own error in the eye, the man who criticizes himself has no time to criticize others. It is that man who will prove to be wise. But human nature is generally such that one does something quite different. Everyone seems to be most interested in criticizing another. If one would criticize oneself there are endless faults, however saintly or wise one may be. There are no end of faults in a human being. And the consciousness of correcting one's faults, of making oneself better, of taking hold of the right attitude, is the only secret of success, and by it one attains to that goal which is the object of every soul........."

If you are guilty of criticizing others then this is a big problem that you need to work on and something that can have many negative consequences for both you and those close to you. Often we feel entitled to criticize people we know, or we can't help but to feel that others are doing something wrong or that they are less clued in than us. Sometimes we even criticize with good intentions because we want to encourage change and think that our advice can help. Whatever your reason for criticizing others though it is important to change and it's important to realize that constant criticism is only ever destructive and that there are far kinder ways to help someone grow.

Why Criticizing Others Is So Bad.......
The first reason that we should put an end to our criticizing is that when you criticize other people you will of course open yourself up to criticism as well. People don't like being judged, and so if they get the chance to put the shoe on the other foot they are of course going to jump at it. So unless you are genuinely perfect, you really shouldn't open up those flood gates. At the same time if you are critical then it will simply make you less popular – no one wants to be around someone who is constantly negative and telling them what they can't do, and so if that describes you then it's important that you change unless you want to push everyone away. Even if they aren't offended by your comments, if you are someone who is critical then you are going to eventually become associated with problems as it will seem that that's all you talk about.
These are the ways that being critical can come back to haunt you, but you should also think from a conscience perspective about how being so critical is simply unpleasant and can hurt others. Do you really want to be responsible for lowering the self-esteem of your friends and family? Because that is eventually what you will do.

Ending the Criticisms ......
So if you know yourself to be critical then it is time to stop. One of the most effective ways to do this is to simply learn to accept people for who they are and accept that different people go about things in different ways. Sure you might not like how someone is doing something, but equally you will probably find that they don't like the way that you do things either. There is no officially right way to go about things, so really you shouldn't judge people because you think their way is wrong. Be a bit open minded, have a really hard think about your own views and what they're founded in, and then decide if you are really fit to pass judgement on others. If you think that someone spends their money carelessly and shake your head at it, then perhaps they think that you are tight fisted and not living life to its fullest? There are two sides to every story. Ever heard the saying live and let live?

Likewise you need to remember that people might always have other things going on in their lives that you don't necessarily know about. In other words they might be overweight because they have a weak thyroid, or they might be might be miserable because they've had a recent death in their family. Again, you shouldn't judge until you know the full story – and you never know the full story.

Finally you should remember that if someone is moody or stupid or selfish – then that is their problem and it will come back and bite them in the rear eventually – it's not your job to tell them off. Apart from anything else criticizing other people simply isn't classy, so keep your opinion to yourself, smile and learn to get on with others.

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