Feeling is vibration. The heart which is a vehicle, an
instrument of feeling, creates a phenomenon, if one only
watches life keenly.
If one causes anyone pain, that pain
returns. If one causes anyone pleasure, that pleasure returns.
If you give love to someone, love comes back, and if you
give hatred, that hatred comes back to you in some form
or other. Maybe in the form of pain, illness, health, success,
joy, or happiness – in some form or other it comes back,
it never fails.
Generally one does not think about it, and
when a person has got a certain position where he can order
people about and where he can speak harshly to them, he
never thinks about those things. Every little feeling that
arises in a man's heart, and directs his action, word, and
movement, causes a certain reaction and rebounds; only it
sometimes takes time. But do not think that you can ever
hate a person – even have the slightest thought of it –
and that it does not come back. It surely comes back some
time. Besides, if you have sympathy, love, affection, a
kind feeling for a person, even without telling him so,
it returns in some form or other.
" Being alone never felt right. Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.”
―Charles Bukowski
Why do people have to feel this way? What’s the point of it all?
Millions of people in this world, all of them craving connection, and
looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, yet
inadvertently isolating themselves in the process. Why? Was the planet
put here just to nourish our loneliness?
The more I’ve experienced and explored my own feelings of uncertainty
and loneliness, the more I’ve realized how necessary these feelings
are. It’s good for us to spend time exploring unknowns, alone. It
gives us an opportunity to discover who we really are and what life is
all about.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you feel lost and alone:
1. You are not alone in being alone.
So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you. We
are all in this together. So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic you
feel about your own situation, know that there are others out there
experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, “I am all
alone,” it’s just your worried mind trying to sell you a lie. There’s
always someone who can relate to you. Perhaps you can’t immediately
talk to them, but they are out there, and that’s all you need to know
right now.
2. Sometimes when you’re lonely, you need to be alone.
Sometimes you need to be alone, not to be lonely, but to enjoy a
little free time just being yourself and finding your way. In other
words, the moments you feel lonely are the moments you may most need to
be by yourself. This is one of life’s cruelest ironies.
We need solitude, because when we’re alone we’re detached from
obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own
thoughts and feel what our intuition is telling us. And the truth is,
throughout your life there will be times when the world gets real quiet
and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart. So you’d better
learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s
telling you.
3. You have to be a little lost first to find what you’re looking for.
Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your best
path. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you
want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. Making a big
life change is pretty scary. But you know what’s even scarier?
Regret.
So remember that everyone suffers in life at some point. Everyone
feels lost sometimes. The key is using your experiences to grow. When
you apply what you’re learning to your future choices and actions, you
move forward not backward. You become stronger and wiser. It’s not
easy, but it’s worth it in the end.
4. It’s all about accepting the reality of what is.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Life spins with unexpected
changes; so instead of avoiding it, take every change and experience as a
challenge for growth. Either it will give you what you want or it will
teach you what the next step is. And remember, finding peace in life
does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no challenges,
and no hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things
while remaining calm in your heart.
Honestly, life is too short to spend at war with yourself. The
biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced
expectations. Letting go of needless expectations is your first step to
happiness. Come from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you can
deal with almost anything and grow beyond it.
5. In every situation, YOU choose your attitude.
Be determined to be positive. Understand that the greater part of
your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but
by your attitude.
A happy person is not a person who’s always in a good
situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every
situation. So smile at those who often try to begrudge or hurt you;
show them what’s missing in their life and what they can’t take away
from you. Doing so doesn’t mean forgetting or giving in, it means you
choose happiness over hurt.
6. Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.
The trouble is not always in being alone; it’s being lonely in the
presence of others. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd.
Wouldn’t you agree?
So keep this in mind and choose your relationships
wisely. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. And
when you do decide to come back for someone, do so because you’re truly
better off with this person. Don’t do it just for the sake not being
alone.
7. Everyone you care about does NOT need to support your decisions.
Friends and family won’t always support your goals, but you must
pursue them anyway. Follow your intuition. Following your intuition
means doing what feels right, even if it doesn’t look or sound right to
others. Only time will tell, but our human instincts are rarely wrong.
Even if things don’t turn out as you anticipated, at least you won’t
have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been. So
don’t worry about what everyone else thinks; just keep living and
speaking your truth.
Ultimately, you know you’re on the right track in life when you
become uninterested in looking back, and eager to take the next step,
regardless of what anyone else thinks.
8. You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK.
You’ve been hurt; you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that
have made you who you are today. Over the years, so many things have
happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you
lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays
the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed.
Respond to them by saying, “Of course I’ve changed. That’s what life is
all about. I’m still the same human being, just a little stronger now
than I ever was before.”
9. The best you can do changes from day to day.
Always do your best. And realize that “your best” is going to change
repeatedly. For instance, it will be different when you are healthy as
opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance, simply do your best in the present moment and
you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. And remember
that no matter what’s happening, you can efficiently fight the battles
of just today. It’s only when you add the battles of those two abysmal
eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly
complicated. It’s necessary, therefore, to let yourself live just one
day at a time – just today – just right here, right now. And do the
best you can in it.
10. It all matters in the end – every step, every regret, every smile, and every struggle.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum
wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing
with colleagues you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing
thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads.
Contemplations about
elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights
spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion
magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and
religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.
All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every
success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
Yang dah 50 tahun tu mula-mulalah berlatih. Yang dah hampir 50 tahun boleh bersedia. Yang lambat lagi nak ke umur 50 tahun boleh kongsi dan bantu mak ayah jika masih ada.
1. Fokus pada nak menggembirakan orang lain. Sekarang bukan masa untuk cari harta saja
2. Rancang macamana nak belanjakan duit simpanan. Anda patut
gembirakan hidup anda dan ganti apa yang tak dapat buat sebelum ini,
kalau mampu pergilah melancong. Jangan tinggalkan apa-apa kepada
anak-anak yang boleh buatkan anak-anak bergaduh. Dengan meninggalkan
sesuatu akan bawa masalah bila anda sudah tiada nanti.
3. Lakukan
pada saat ini dan sekarang, bukan semalam dan esok. Hanya hari ini
sahaja yang anda boleh kawal. Semalam telah pergi dan esok mungkin
takkan berlaku.
4. Bergembira dengan cucu-cucu (jika ada) tapi
jangan jadi "full time baby sitter". Itu bukan tanggungjawab anda untuk
jaga mereka. Jangan rasa bersalah tak jaga anak sesiapa pun termasuk
cucu sendiri. Tanggungjawab anda adalah terhadap anak-anak anda. Selepas
mereka dewasa dan menjadi ibubapa tugas awak telah tamat. Biarkan
anak-anak anda sendiri yang jaga anak-anak mereka.
5. Terima
kelemahan fizikal, sakit, dan lain-lain kesakitan fizikal. Ia adalah
sebahagian daripada proses meningkatnya umur. Bersyukur dengan keupayaan
kesihatan yang anda ada.
6. Kenali siapa diri anda dan apa yang
anda ada sekarang. Berhenti melakukan bersungguh apa yang tiada pada
anda. Jika anda tak dapat apa yang anda nak, ketahuilah itu semua dah terlambat.
7.
Berbahagialah dengan pasangan anda, anak-anak, cucu-cucu dan rakan-rakan
anda. Mereka yang betul-betul sayangkan anda, sayang anda seadanya.
Bukan apa yang anda ada. Mereka yang sayangkan anda kerana apa yang anda
ada, mereka itu tak ikhlas, hanya berpura-pura dan anda pasti tahu
siapa mereka sekarang.
8. Memaafkan dan terima kemaafan. Maafkan diri sendiri dan orang lain. Lapangkan minda dan hati.
9. Berkawanlah dengan kematian. Ia kitaran semulajadi dalam
kehidupan. Jangan takut akan ia. Kematian adalah permulaan hidup yg
lebih baik. Jadi bersedialah, bukan untuk mati tetapi hidup untuk
bertemu Yang Maha Esa (ALLAH SWT)
10. Hiduplah dengan aman bersama Yang Maha Esa. Untuk Dia lah yang anda ada setelah anda meninggalkan dunia ini.
