~ Relationships ~

3 kinds of relationships :

According to ancient philosopher Aristotle, there are three kinds of relationships, only one of which will bring you true happiness.

1.) Relationships of pleasure.

Partners who are about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. You share soulless, passionate sex and playful banter -- but they're about the body or ego. They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth, so they never bring real-deal happiness.

2.) Relationships of utility.

Partners you spend time with in hopes of garnering status, power, money and beauty like the rich guy with a trophy girl. Again, this is about body or ego and doesn't bring true joy.

3.) Relationships of shared virtue.

Partners who challenge and inspire you to grow into your highest potential and nurture your soul. A good example is when Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good As It Gets" says, "You make me want to be a better man." When you prioritize seeking a partner who supports you becoming your best self -- instead of crushing on "superficial lures"(hotness, funniness, smartness, success, etc.) -- you wind up with a soul mate/a Prince Charming/a definite keeper!

With this in mind, if you want to be happy in love, you must take time to see past a guy's "superficial lures" and look inside his "superinsidehimself." Unfortunately, those fumes of chemistry can often dizzy a gal into making stupid love choices. That's why it's important to remember: Hot, steamy chemistry eventually fades -- and what's always left beneath is a person's true soul.

If you want to be happy, you must seek a good-hearted, ethical soul who brings you great growth -- not simply a hottie who brings great grope.

For the record: Aristotle wasn't against finding someone friggin' funny or friggin' sexy or friggin' rich. He believed these pleasure-bringing qualities were good for stirring up passion, which humans need to be our fullest selves! But Aristotle recognized "superficial lures" and material goods were simply what he called "means to the ends" of happiness, not "the final ends," which is always to grow into your most esteemed self. As Aristotle said: "Men imagine the causes of happiness lie in external goods. That is, as if they were to ascribe fine and beautiful lyre playing to the quality of the instrument rather than the skill of the player."

A big secret to happiness? Stop focusing on finding a Mr. Right! Start focusing on finding Life Plan Right. When a Mr. Potential Right comes along, you must ask yourself if this guy will lead you to Life Plan Right or Life Plan Wrong.

As you get to know the guy, look to see if he:

1. Offers you exciting growth as well as exciting grope

2. Has developed good character -- so he'll be a positive influence on your character development.

If the guy scores two for two, you're likely in Prince Charming territory.