Monday, July 26, 2010

~ Loneliness and Aloneness ~

Loneliness and Aloneness .........

When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely - and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. Loneliness is a negative state. You are feeling that it would have been better if the other were there - your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband. It would have been good if the other were there, but the other is not. Loneliness is absence of the other.

Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

This has been said again and again, down through the ages. All the religious people have been saying this: "We come alone into this world, we go alone." All togetherness is illusory. The very idea of togetherness arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. We want to drown our aloneness in relationship....That's why we become so much involved in love.

Try to see the point. Ordinarily you think you have fallen in love with a woman or with a man because she is beautiful, he is beautiful. That is not the truth. The truth is just the opposite: you have fallen in love because you cannot be alone. You were going to fall. You were going to avoid yourself somehow or other. And there are people who don't fall in love with women or men--then they fall in love with money. They start moving into money or into a power trip, they become politicians. That too is avoiding your aloneness.

If you watch man, if you watch yourself deeply, you will be surprised--all your activities can be reduced to one single source. The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.

Aloneness .....

Loneliness and aloneness
they are not the same

for the shell of the mind
hears echoes of many seas

it hears the calling of gulls
from this savage sky

and an ebbing tide
lapping the small white stones.


Gaurav said...

this post is beautiful but it's lil confusing as well. On one side you are saying we go in search of love or money because we are afraid of being alone or we we just can't be alone and on the other side you are saying (in your second phara)aloneness is very positive and there is no need for anybody.

so can you please make it lil clear.

habibaty said...

........... :)