~ Relationship ~

Relationship .......


It is said that every pot has it's lid. A pot with a wrong fitting lid is not what it could be, nor will it ever be able to be what it could be.

Find the right lid that fits your pot and all the steam will stay inside instead of escaping seeking expression externally to the relationship.

~ Siapa Yang Bodoh ? ~

Manusia memang mudah mengata bodoh kepada yang lain .. tanpa menyedari yang menuduh itulah yang bodoh ...

siapakah yang bodoh ?
Bagiku ........... manusia yang bodoh ialah yang menuruti hawa nafsunya.
Kalau kita mengaku bahawa kita beragama Islam .......insyallah segala apa yang kita hendak lakukan mestilah ada batasannya ...

Amat tidak setuju apabila ada orang mengatakan "follow your heart" atau "just do what you want to do" .......... betul ke itu ?

Mana boleh ........... setiap apa yang kita lakukan kita mesti fikirkan .......... adakah Islam benarkan atau Allah suka atau murka ? .......... kita mesti memikirkan risiko apa yang kita lakukan ... segala hal mesti kita sandarkan dengan Allah dan Islam !

Kenapa sekarang ini terlalu banyak perkara berlaku yang bercanggah dengan Islam dan tatasusila kemanusiaan ........ kenapa ? ...........manusia tidak menggunakan akal yang Allah kurniakan ........ mereka mengikut bisikan rasa hati .......... selalunya bisikan ini ialah dari syaitan .

Kita boleh lihat orang yang mempunyai degree pun boleh buang anak, boleh menipu, mencuri, berzina, dedah aurat dan bermacam-macam lagi ... kenapa ? bodoh ke mereka ? mereka golongan bijak pandai ! ......... tapi mereka letak islam di kaki, bukan di hati ..........

Kalau orang mengatakan kita bodoh .... jangan bertengkar atau ambil hati .... senyum saja ...
bisikkan dalam hati mengatakan ............ dialah yang bodoh !!!

~ It Makes You Stronger ~

It Makes You Stronger ...........



As the years roll by, as the days take their place in time; I stop to look back… look ahead… and look within… a snapshot into my soul.

Looking Back :
It's been said that those who do not learn from their past mistakes are condemned to repeat them. Soberly reflecting, I cast my mind back to the many lessons I had to learn not once, not twice, but several times over, because I simply refused to let go. It gets to a point where you stop running, stop crying, stop lying to yourself - you face reality. It's a struggle at times, but my, my! I look back and realize it does get easier, with each passing day.

It takes me a while to close doors because I believe doors open for a reason, but sometimes we are so bent on keeping that door open, that we fail to see when God closes it and opens another. The ghost of the past can be a lurking shadow chasing our sunrises but with God's help - break that hold! Embrace the dawn of a new morning! It's never easy but you reflect, you accept and you learn…and it makes you stronger.

Looking Ahead :
In finding myself, I discover my future with all its beauty and promise and hope. We cannot change the past but we can shape the future and that's the beautiful thing about life. The rain will fall, the unexpected will occur but it's your attitude about what card life deals you that makes the difference.

Will you see the clouds or the sky? Will you see problems or solutions?

I claim the promises of God in believing that He'll never leave me nor forsake me and trust in the plan He has for my life. I am bound to make mistakes, but I will learn from them; I am bound to go through trials and tribulations but they will make me stronger; I am bound to hurt people dear to me, consciously or unconsciously, but I will ask for forgiveness. The world is my playground and the best is yet to come. Tomorrow is not granted, but my attitude can be and that powerful realization…it makes you stronger.

Looking Within :
Life can be cruel in its harsh reality. I've learned and continue to learn some hard facts. Situations and circumstances have revealed my strengths and also my weaknesses. At the height of good fortune, a human can be vulnerable to misdirection and mistakes. In the rough times, I've learned more about myself than at any other time in my life. I must accept my imperfections and overcome them.

Life also reveals the different shades of human nature. When the lightning strikes and the storms come, the rainbow reveals who your true friends really are. Roses have thorns, people change, and most friendships are fleeting.

Learn to seek happiness alone, love yourself and through that you can truly love others. Forgive, not for the person but for yourself. Let God carry your burdens, sometimes it's just too heavy to carry them all by yourself.

Look within and discover your passions, your soul discover you…it makes you stronger!

~ No Regrets ~

No regrets ..........


A few days more we will welcome 2011 ....... when we looked back, is there anything we can learned ? Of course there is , if we really open our eyes and heart ...

If not because what we have been through, we are not what we are today ...
we became more confident and courageous to lead this life ...


Often we regret and brood about past decisions – what we should or shouldn’t have done. Or we think of what we should now be doing and are not doing, of what we would like to learn, and it makes us uneasy.

We regret misunderstandings – words we wish we hadn’t said, words we wish we had said, mistakes we have made, people we have offended, opportunities gone by, errors and carelessness that could have been avoided, places we might have gone, things we might have been.

The past has its place and is valuable for lessons learned. The present also has its place, and what we cannot change should not now needlessly keep us from looking and moving forward. Nothing lost or left behind should keep us from now becoming what we can become, from learning what we now can learn.

There are new decisions every day, every hour, and reasons to improve and to repent. Whatever we are, wherever we’ve been, each day we have some opportunity to determine direction.

Each day we need to win, or keep – and certainly to deserve – the love of loved ones; each day to be more patient, more pleasant, more understanding. If there have been loved ones neglected, unreconciled differences, unspoken gratitude, unacknowledged debts, we ought to do now what we should do. If there has been within something that has soured us, we well would turn now to sweetening ourselves, for we hurt ourselves as well as others when we live below the level of our possibilities.

Whatever the past or its meaning, or its length, or its losses, or its lessons learned or left unlearned, we go on from where we are – wherever we are – and become what we can become; with work, repentance, improvement; with faith in the future.

~ Feeling Our Words ~

Feeling Our Words ........
(Words Have Weight)


Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or hurt. Most of us can remember a time that someone sent a word our way, and it stuck with us. It may have been the first time we received a truly accurate compliment, or the time a friend or sibling called us a name, but either way it stuck. This experience reminds us that what we say has weight and power and that being conscious means being aware of how we use words.


The more conscious we become, the more we deepen our relationship to the words we use so that we speak from a place of actually feeling what we are saying. We begin to recognize that words are not abstract, disconnected entities used only to convey meaning; they are powerful transmitters of feeling. For the next few days, you might want to practice noticing how the words you say and hear affect your body and your emotional state. Notice how the different communication styles of the people in your life make you feel. Also, watch closely to see how your own words come out and what affect they have on the people around you.


You may notice that when we speak quickly, without thinking, or rush to get our ideas across, our words don't carry the same power as when we speak slowly and confidently, allowing those receiving our words time and space to take them in. When we carefully listen to others before we speak, our words have more integrity, and when we take time to center ourselves before speaking, we truly begin to harness the power of speech. Then our words can be intelligent messengers of healing and light, transmitting deep and positive feelings to those who receive them.

~ Are you in Love or Lust? ~

Are you in Love or Lust? .......


(http://www.therelationshipgym.com/love_or_lust.htm)


It's so difficult to tell. So what do you need to know to ensure you've got it right?
Love or Lust ?

You know how it feels. You probably don't care why it feels that way. You're just loving it. But you do care about not falling for your partner purely because you lust after them.

Lust is integral with the first part of any sound intimate relationship - it's the infatuation (or romance) stage. But maybe you're now questioning, 'Am I really in love with them, or is it just lust?'

The problem you face, if you're asking this question from within that first part of a relationship, is - it's almost impossible to work out the answer once you're in it!

Ideally, you'd have worked out well before you start dating anyone who you need to get with in order to be truly compatible. If you haven't done that then I suggest you need to do it now.
Why is this important?

Because the difference between a relationship that turns into love and one that ends at lust is compatibility.

Lust is all centred around your 'sexual compatibility'. If your partner's face and physique fits your map of what's gorgeous, if they talk, move and communicate in a way that pushes your buttons, then you have lust. And I know how fantastic that feels!

However, if you lack the compatibility on other levels, then when the chemicals start to fade from your body, the lust will disappear and you'll be left with someone who you probably don't even fancy any more and certainly don't love.

Of course, it's possible to fall in love with someone and not be fully compatible - but that's another issue! What I'm really saying is that a relationship that's about lust is almost wholly based around the element of 'sexual compatibility'. And that's not enough for a truly loving relationship.

So what are your options at this point in time?

1. Wait till the lust dies down and see what's left
2. Work out if you're compatible with your current partner

~ Is This Love I’m Feeling? ~

Is This Love I’m Feeling? :



“Love is a serious mental disease.” At least that’s how Plato put it.
And while anyone who’s ever been ‘in love’ might see some truth to this statement, there is a critical mistake made here. Love is not a mental disease. Desire is.

If being ‘in love’ means our lives are in pieces and we are completely broken, miserable, utterly consumed, hardly able to function, and willing to sacrifice everything, chances are it’s not love. Despite what we are taught in popular culture, true love is not supposed to make us like drug addicts.

And so, contrary to what we’ve grown up watching in movies, that type of all-consuming obsession is not love. It goes by a different name. It is hawa—the word used in the Quran to refer to one’s lower, vain desires and lusts. Allah describes the people who blindly follow these desires as those who are most astray:


“But if they answer you not, then know that they only follow their own lusts (hawa). And who is more astray than the one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah?” (28: 50)


By choosing to submit to our hawa over the guidance of Allah, we are choosing to worship those desires. When our love for what we crave is stronger than our love for Allah, we have taken that which we crave as a lord. Allah says:


“Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah, as equal (with Allah): They love them as they should love Allah. But those of Faith are overflowing in their love for Allah.” (2:165)


If our ‘love’ for something makes us willing to give up our family, our dignity, our self-respect, our bodies, our sanity, our peace of mind, our deen, and even our Lord who created us from nothing, know that we are not ‘in love’. We are slaves.

Of such a person Allah says:

“Do you see such a one as takes his own vain desires (hawa) as his lord? Allah has, knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. (45: 23)



Imagine the severity. To have one’s sight, hearing and heart all sealed. Hawa is not pleasure. It is a prison. It is a slavery of the mind, body and soul. It is an addiction and a worship. Beautiful examples of this reality can be found throughout literature. In Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations, Pip exemplifies this point. In describing his obsession with Estella, he says: “I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”

Dickens’ Miss Havisham describes this further: “I’ll tell you…what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter – as I did!”

What Miss Havisham describes here is in fact real. But it is not real love. It is hawa. Real love, as Allah intended it, is not a sickness or an addiction. It is affection and mercy. Allah says in His book:


“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (30: 21)



Real love brings about calm—not inner torment. True love allows you to be at peace with yourself and with God. That is why Allah says: “that you may dwell in tranquility.” Hawa is the opposite. Hawa will make you miserable. And just like a drug, you will crave it always, but never be satisfied. You will chase it to your own detriment, but never reach it. And though you submit your whole self to it, it will never bring you happiness.

So while ultimate happiness is everyone’s goal, it is often difficult to see past the illusions and discern love from hawa. One fail-safe way, is to ask yourself this question: Does getting closer to this person that I ‘love’ bring me closer to—or farther from—Allah? In a sense, has this person replaced Allah in my heart?

True or pure love should never contradict or compete with one’s love for Allah. It should strengthen it. That is why true love is only possible within the boundaries of what Allah has made permissible. Outside of that, it is nothing more than hawa, to which we either submit or reject. We are either slaves to Allah, or slaves to our hawa. It cannot be both.


Only by struggling against false pleasure, can we attain true pleasure. They are by definition mutually exclusive. For that reason, the struggle against our desires is a prerequisite for the attainment of paradise. Allah says:

“But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful] inclination, then indeed, Paradise will be [his] refuge.” (Qur’an, 79: 40-41)

~ Pain, Loss, and the Path to God ~

Pain, Loss, and the Path to God :-




“ When someone beats a rug with a stick, he is not beating the rug – his aim is to get rid of the dust. Your inward is full of dust from the veil of ‘I’-ness, and that dust will not leave all at once. With every cruelty and every blow, it departs little by little from the heart’s face, sometimes in sleep and sometimes in wakefulness.” (Rumi)


So often we experience things in life, and yet never see the connections between them. When we are given a hardship, or feel pain, we often fail to consider that that experience may be the direct cause or result of another action or experience. Sometimes we fail to recognize the direct connection between the pain in our lives and our relationship with Allah (swt).

That pain and adversity serves many purposes in life. Times of hardship can act as both an indication as well as a cure, for our broken relationship with our Creator.

Times of difficulty test our faith, our fortitude and our strength. During these times, the level of our iman becomes manifest. Adversity strips away our masks, revealing the truth behind mere declaration of faith. Hardships separate those whose declaration is true from those who are false.

Allah says:

“ Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tested? But We have certainly tested those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars ” (Qur’an, 29:2-3).


Hardships test us. But hardships can also be a blessing and a sign of Allah’s love. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:


“ Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity ” [Bukhari].


And yet most people cannot fathom how adversity could possibly be good. Many do not recognize that hardship is in fact a purifier, which brings people back to their Lord. What happens to the arrogant who are suddenly put in a situation they cannot control? What happens to a man who finds himself stranded on the ocean in the middle of a storm? What happens when the ship that is ‘unsinkable’ becomes the tale of the Titanic?

These perceived misfortunes are in fact wake up calls. They humble. They shake. They remind us of how small we are, and how Great God is. And in that way they awaken us from the slumber of our deceptions, our heedlessness, our wandering, and bring us back to our Creator. Hardships strip away the veil of comfort from our eyes, and remind us of what we are and where we’re going.

Allah (swt) says:

“…And We tested them with good [times] and bad that perhaps they would return [to obedience]” (Qur’an, 7:168). In another ayah, Allah (swt) explains: “And We sent no Prophet to any town (and they denied him), but We seized its people with suffering from extreme poverty (or loss in wealth) and loss of health and calamities, so that they might humiliate themselves (and repent to Allah)” (Qur’an, 7:94).


This lesson in humility purifies the human soul so much so that Allah (swt) comforts the believers in the Qur’an, assuring them that any pain they encounter is intended to elevate and honor them. He says:



“ If a wound should touch you – there has already touched the [opposing] people a wound similar to it. And these days [of varying conditions] We alternate among the people so that Allah may make evident those who believe and [may] take to Himself from among you martyrs – and Allah does not like the wrongdoers – And that Allah may purify the believers [through trials] and destroy the disbelievers. Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while Allah has not yet made evident those of you who fight in His cause and made evident those who are steadfast? ” (Qur’an, 3:140-142).


It is that very battle to purify the self which is the essence of the upward path to God. It begins with self-sacrifice, and is paved by the sweat of struggle.

It is this path, which God describes when He says:

“Oh mankind! Verily you are ever toiling on towards your Lord – painfully toiling – but you shall meet Him.” (Qur’an, 84:6).