Wednesday, September 7, 2011

~ Excuses ~

Why Do We Make Excuses?

If you are someone who is a habitual excuse maker it might be a good idea to ask yourself why you deliberately choose to be less than truthful. Do you fear the scrutiny of friends, family, or coworkers? Are you uncomfortable with opening yourself up to others? Sometimes, making up a lame excuse to avoid attending a social event is done for self-preservation. Are you afraid your attendance would make you feel inadequate, vulnerable, or foolish?

Are your excuses meant to inflate your worthiness in the eyes of others? Ego does play a factor in habitual excuse making. However, indulging in ego-boosting through excuse making will likely have the reverse result: deflated personal self-worth. You can trick others into believing a lie, but convincing yourself is not as easy. Or is it? If you tell a lie convincingly enough and you get away with it you may also begin believing it yourself. It's true. Overtime, an excuse-maker will start buying into his own cons and, as a result, live a lie.

How Does it Feel Being Dishonest?

The reason why we make excuses is probably not as important as the "feeling" associated with being less than honest. Excuses are meant to hide our shortcomings or give a better light to our failures. Everyone gets that. We can all justify our reasons for making excuses. But, how does it feel having been deceitful? If it doesn't feel good, time to change your habit of making excuses. Also, if making excuses gives you a false sense of euphoria, that's not good either.

Stop Making Excuses.

Changing deceptive behaviors can be a little tricky for the chronic excuse maker. Twisting the truth becomes a way of life, almost an art form. Whenever excuses are found out to be erroneous, instead of giving a sincere apology for being untruthful the person will attempt to craft a creative non-apology (another excuse) that just adds to the original deception. This is called "digging yourself into a deeper hole."

Taking responsibility for your actions is the grown-up thing to do. Admitting your failures and accepting that you are not perfect may be hard to swallow at first. But, as you stop making excuses for yourself, you will soon realize how emotionally freeing your life can be. I know it is cliché - but "Honesty (really) is the best policy."


habibaty said...

No wiser remark was ever made by Dr. Benjamin Franklin than a severe
sentence which he once uttered to a young man who had an appointment
with him and missed it.

Next day the young man came and began to make
a very fluent excuse to the doctor for his absence the day before.

"Stop!" said Franklin. "You have said too much already,
my good boy, for the man who is good at making an excuse
is seldom good at anything else.''

~ ! ~

Excuses are tools of the incompetent
which create monuments
of nothingness
those who specialize in them
are seldom
good in anything....

~ ! ~

So ......... stop making excuses !

Anonymous said...

The heart has its reasons but the mind makes the excuses