Self Control ............

 Let us be the master of the desire ...
Not desire be your master .........

Be A Good Listener !

The ear is close to the heart

but not the eyes ...

So be a good listener .....

In order to be  Good .........

Are You Close To Allah ? ..........

Look at how easy or difficult it is to do different actions that are pleasing to Allah (reading qu’ran, giving sadaqa,  etc). 

If you are so happy and take great pleasure at performing these acts, and it is easy for you – this is a sign that you are close to Allah. 

If it is difficult for you and you find yourself making excuses, and it is hard for you and you literally have to drag yourself to do these acts, then know that you do not have a close relationship with Allah.’

Never !

 



“  Your life is a sacred journey. And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love..........”

!

 

To dream anything that you want to dream. 

That’s the beauty of the human mind. 

To do anything that you want to do. 

That is the strength of the human will. 

To trust yourself to test your limits. 

That is the courage to succeed.

Deep Thoughts .........

 



As you mature , physically, mentally, spiritually... life seems to fly swiftly!!! and when you reach the golden years of your life... it is the time that all the memories of the past years comes back so suddenly... but then we ought to be HAPPY, because we have something to think about... JUST LAUGH AT LIFE AND YOU WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY... LIVE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME...

 We no longer have to wear the masks of our youth. We can be ourselves.

 What a wonderful things to be able to look at your very own existence and realize what a gift you have been given. Then the good part… looking at that life and realizing that you have been a gift to others. Those loads of laundry that you did, the meals that you cooked for your family and friends, that house you cleaned endlessly, you know that mundane daily stuff that you sometimes dreaded has actually been an act of service that made a difference in other’s lives. (Whether they realized it or not.) 


The wisdom acquired with aging gives us the ability to not expect gratitude from others. The ability to give the gift is in itself enough. If you happen to be surrounded by family and friends how blessed you have been. You are now able to see that every problem you have encountered with those around you has led to buckets of wisdom. That wisdom is now enabling you to live with grace and just a nod to any difficulties that arise. You know that this too shall pass.

~ Selfishness ........

The relationship ended. No great reason, no explanation. Things just took a hard turn and fell apart. So, maybe looking back, there were some warning signs of problems. Communication was difficult (maybe non-existent, at times) or emotions would flare for no apparent reason. However, there was nothing significant enough to justify such a negative end to a relationship that started so well. Nothing justified actions that would cause so much hurt!

Why did they cheat? Why did they change? Why did we stop moving forward? Why did their love turn to hate? Why don’t they care about my feelings? What did I do wrong? How could they just cut me off… cold turkey? Why won’t they talk to me and allow me to have closure?

There is one word that sits at the core of all of this confusion… selfishness.




Selfishness is the root cause of many broken hearts. It is a slow flowing poison that erodes, burns, and sears the bonds of relationships. Strong relationships have a foundation that is based on the ability to grow to love. Selfishness is the direct opposite of love. Love gives, but selfishness takes.


Being selfish involves a lot of “I” and has no room for “we”. Relationships and love are about togetherness; walking together as one. It’s pretty difficult to walk together with someone who has no concern for your presence or pace. Thus, if you enter a relationship with a selfish person (or if you are a selfish person), your relationships will not last.


 6 characteristics of selfishness in a relationship:

1. Selfishness introduces conditions – Selfish people have an attitude that says, “If you, then I.” If you meet their immediate needs or desires, then they may remain in the relationship. Their focus is not on adding to the life of the one they are with. They desire to have things added unto them. The downside of this is, in their quest to be added to, they may not even realize or care how much they are cutting down (or dividing) the person they are with.


2. Selfishness breeds lies and manipulation – Selfish people have a very narrow focus. They are focused on getting what they want, when they want it. Instead of seeing others’ opinions, feelings, and desires as guides (things to consider)… they view them as obstacles (things to get around). This mindset makes it very easy for selfish people to introduce subtle forms of manipulation and lies into a relationship. Over time, as they learn more about you, the manipulation becomes strategic and they are able to get their way faster and more often.


3. Selfishness will lead to hurt – Selfish people will abuse your heart to get whatever they are ultimately seeking. Once you can no longer provide… they will leave you. Dating with selfish goals is wrong and will lead to hurt, disappointment, bitterness and delusional feelings about love.


4. Selfishness blocks the building of trust - Loving with condition is based in selfishness and selfishness will never allow you to give someone the benefit of the doubt. If you do not offer the benefit of the doubt in a relationship, you will never understand what it’s like to love freely. Instead, you will live in situations where you never trust that the other person has your best interest in mind.

 5. Selfishness has roots in insecurity – Selfish people focus on covering themselves because, deep down, they really don’t believe anyone else will truly have their back. They have deep-rooted pain that causes them to feel inadequate in some way. Instead of getting help for their pain, they overcompensate; they convince themselves and others that they are perfectly confident. Unfortunately, this causes them to think more highly of themselves than they ought to.

 6. Selfishness is impossible – When people want you to accept them as they are, but they expect you to be perfect… they are selfish. It is impossible to have a lasting relationship  if you both are not willing to learn what it means (and do what it takes) to grow together as one.

 Closing Thought:
If you realize that you have a selfish motive, or any bad motive, for desiring a relationship… take a step back and make an intentional decision to resolve the situation. In the end, you will avoid hurting someone else, or even yourself. Always date with integrity. People were not created by God to be used to numb our personal pain or to be our “right now” while we wait for Mr. or Mrs. Right.

~ A World of Secrets ~

The believer does not suffer from something called psychiatric diseases. That is because he/she lives in acceptance and harmony with all that is happening to him, whether it is good or evil. He/she is just like a passenger of a plane who has full confidence in the pilot, that he cannot go wrong because he has ultimate knowledge and skills of controlling a plane. He will fly it efficiently in all circumstances and will pass by storms, heat, cold, ice and fog.     

                  

In such a plane, and with full confidence in the pilot, he can sleep in his chair in complete contentment and tranquility. He does not shiver or shake if the plane falls into turbulence, or staggers in a turn, or tends towards a mountain. He knows that all those things happen by the pilot’s will and under his knowledge, and that they happen with wisdom behind them and for a purpose of greater safety. Everything is being masterminded, and every event is predestined, and there is nothing more perfect than what has already been predestined. That is why he gives himself fully to the pilot without accountability or arguing. He has full confidence in him; that is why he stretches in his chair with full serenity, in a state of complete trust.   

                               

That is the same sense of confidence the believer has with his Lord, Who drives the ship of destiny, controls the course of events, leads the huge universe, and runs galaxies in their orbits and suns in their rising and setting.     

                     

Everything that is happening to him, which he has no power over, is eventually good. If he has an illness and medicine fails to treat him, he says to himself, “This is good!” If his plants burn because of drought and all his means fail to avoid the disaster, he says to himself, “This is good, Allah (SWT) will provide me with something better.” If he fails in love, he says, “Failed love is better than a failed marriage.” If his marriage fails, then he says, “All praise be to Allah!  Loneliness is better than bad company.” If his business goes bankrupt, he says, “All praise be to Allah. Perhaps Allah knows that wealth is bad for me, and that worldly earns will make me lose in the Hereafter. And if someone dear to him passes away, he says, “All praise be to Allah, Allah (SWT) is worthier of our life than we are of it and He is the only One Who knows whether it is good or bad for us to live longer. All Glory be to Him, He is not questioned about what He decrees.”     

                                        

The believer’s slogan is always: 

 “But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.”  (TMQ, 2:216).

 

He always has comfort in his heart, with a tranquil soul, seeing by the light of his inner insight that the world is a place for tests and affliction, and it is just a temporary resting spot and not a permanent home. It is a temporary shelter which will be completely removed with its good and evil. Only those who show patience and gratefulness are the winners.          

                          

The believer's heart cannot be invaded by an evil obsession, nor is his soul troubled by any scruple. That is because his soul is always busy with the remembrance of The Almighty, The Most-Merciful, and his heart always whispers: Allah…..Allah…with each pulse. The Satan cannot find a step or a dark corner in such a heart to creep in.   

           

It is a heart that cannot be moved by calamities or shaken by disasters because it is firmly established in the seat of Truth, which never changes or alters. 

The believer gives different names to all psychiatric diseases that psychiatrists talk about. For him/her repression is called sticking to chastity…..                    Deprivation is a spiritual development….Feeling guilty is piety….  Fear (which is fear from Allah) is a protector from slipping into sin. Suffering is the way to wisdom and grief leads to knowledge. 

Desires are steps of a ladder that the believer climbs over through suppressing them. He triumphs over his desires by reining them in to reach the status of serenity and spiritual strength.    

                                                                                                           

Insomnia is a gift from Allah, as the night in which the believer cannot sleep can be spent in remembrance of Allah. Spending the night with Allah is a special blessing that the believer should be thankful for; not complaining or seeking for a tranquilizer. Furthermore, if s/he remains awake till dawn, this offers him/her a chance to make his/her dawn prayer which is a great grace.     

                 

In addition, going through feelings of remorse sometimes allow the believer to reflect, return to the truth and go back to Allah. Even pain, including physical and psychological, is considered as a divine aid by which the believer can resist the lure of the worldly life and renounce it.

 

Despair, carrying a grudge and envy are psychiatric diseases which the believer never suffers. Furthermore, he is capable of overcoming hatred, the urges for revenge and retaliation through forgiveness, pardoning and tolerance. He does not get enraged except to defend one who has been oppressed and help him/her attain justice; he never practices violence except to overcome an oppressor.  

                                     

The prevailing feelings that overwhelm the believer are cordiality, mercy, patience, gratitude, forbearance, compassion, gentleness, forgiveness, acceptance and contentment. Being occupied with such positive feelings, the believer develops a state in which there is no place for psychiatric diseases or psychiatry.

For the believer, the worshiped idols such as wealth, sex, prestige and authority are all demolished, and are no longer able to fragment hisher emotions, or distract hisher attention. Hence the believing soul can attain focus to unite its energy. Here the fog of desires clears, the vision becomes lucid, eddies calm down and tranquility prevails. As a consequence the believer gains more control over hisher own self, becoming more able to lead it as he turns from slavery to hisher own self to be free, and that is all because of the believer’s profound understanding of Monotheism: (there is no God except Allah (SWT). Besides, heshe realizes that there is no ruler, or controller or owner of the creation except only One, thus heshe is freed of the fear of any tyrant and any master. For him/her, even death is seen as liberty and pleasant journey to meet with the beloved.             

                                      

The soul is different due to faith and becomes protected from psychiatric diseases. It is ascended to such a status by faith, obedience and worship, to the extent that its choices become as the same as what Allah chooses for it and its inclination is the same as what Allah pleases.                       

    

Narcissism and selfishness melt and no longer exist in such a faithful soul, thus it becomes a working tool and a hand executing the will of The Lord.                                                                                                                

 

 

Such a believing soul is never afflicted by depression as it is always optimistic, having certain faith that there is no distress with the presence of Allah, and that justice can be achieved as long as there is Allah, The Utterly Just. For the believer, the door of hopefulness is always open as long as The All Able is alive and he never dies.

 

 

The believing soul is in permanent childish astonishment from the signs of divine power all around. A believer feels ecstasy of the beauty he can see in everything. He can see the traces of The Creator’s creativity in major galaxies as in minor atoms and micro electrons. The larger the scientific domain expands, the wider the area of fascination gets, and the ecstasy multiplies. That is why the believing soul does not know weariness, or apathy, or depression.

      

                                                                        

The grief of the believing soul is luminous. It is filled with hopefulness. In the hardest times of pain and tragedy, this soul never gives up hope and thinking well of Allah (SWT); that leads it to feel secure all the time, because it believes that Allah (SWT)  is always there.  For this soul, nothing saddens it more than its own deficiencies, shortcomings and sins; not the deficiencies or shortcomings of others.  However, its deficiencies do not discourage it from striving to reform its flaws.  Thus it is engaged in continuous Jihad (struggle), continuous climbing up the tree of sins to get out of the cone shadow to the light spreading at the top of the tree. From that light, the soul is given life; not from the thick mud at the bottom of the tree.

 

Thus this soul is in fighting for existence, and always engaging in a war of internal purification. However, it is a calm and confident conflict, which never disturbs its tranquility or dispels its serenity.  That is because it has certainty that it fights its internal flaws with the power of Allah (God) (SWT), not by its own power. That soul’s feeling of being in permanent companionship with Allah never deserts it. That is the reason why this soul feels lasting security despite the inside fighting against ghosts of defeat and forces of nihilism….it is not fighting alone.

 

 

That is the biggest jihad (struggle) that occupies the believing soul and protects it from being occupied by trivialities, complaints and little pains; it also preserves it from obsession on its own self, lamenting itself or celebrating its talents. It is busy by going beyond itself and ascending over it. It is always in a continuous journey of exit; a journey of ascension and going beyond itself. The constitution of this soul is: to always resist what you desire and bear what you dislike. 

The feelings of this soul flow smoothly in complete harmony with the universe, perfectly compatible with its laws, easily adapted to the changes that exist. Tolerance and natural simplicity are deeply rooted in such a soul; it seeks friendship with everything, and its perfect ideal is Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) while he was embracing Mount Uhud saying, “This is the mountain which loves us and we love it.” (Muslim) Thus comprehensive love is the root of all feelings of the believing soul. It is in permanent reconciliation with nature, with destiny and with Allah.

                                

Such a soul never suffers solitude when being alone; on the contrary it enjoys a magnificent feeling of being in the company of Allah. For this soul, loneliness does not mean emptiness, or silence; it is rather busyness in being engaged in a rich and precious internal dialogue and a deep feeling of the luminous presence of Allah (SWT) all around.  This cannot be loneliness, but rather a secure embrace. The only torment for this soul is its sin, and when it suffers separation and distance from The Creator. It is an agony that can be relieved by the soul’s profound faith in Allah’s forgiveness, generosity, and His love of those who repent and pray for forgiveness.

 

 

The nearest the soul comes to its Lord is when it is prostrating itself before Him; that is when the believing soul melts in love and humility to Allah. One of the patrons of Allah said, “We are enjoying a pleasure (of closeness to Allah), which if the kings taste, they would fight us to attain it!” However, the kings are so far from experiencing such a pleasure, while they are sinking in the worldly life, imprisoned in its materialistic pleasures.

Religion, obedience and jihad are the only way for the believing soul to be born again and get out of its mud cocoon. There is no other way for its birth; as science breeds conceit, art breeds nothing except idolization. Thus, only religion is the incubator in which the soul grows and reaches its target. Among scientists there may be some with mental illness, busy in inventing devastating weapons and poisonous gas. Among artists, there may be some deifying themselves and drowning in sensory pleasures. Religion alone is the path for the soul to attain integrity, salvation and healing.

                                  

The believing soul is always active, energetic and working to serve and help others. Its contemplation and worship never cut it off from being engaged in people’s everyday lives. You can see it in streets, markets and crowdedness of livelihood. That is because it sees work as an aspect of worship; and sweat and toil are the treatment and cure of the diseases of luxury, laziness and idleness.

 

The life of such a soul is a journey of longing for Allah, a trip of gaining knowledge and a message of helping others. Working is its gate to mental health. Its ultimate hope is to still be able to work until the last breath, and to die while planting a tree, building a wall or lighting a candle. Such a soul is a lifeboat, and it is protected from any psychiatric disease. It has no need of these days' medicine as its life is truly a prescription of happiness.

 

 

(Source:  “A World of Secrets”, by Dr. Mustafa Mahmoud)

---

Is It Love ? ~

 

 

Can you define love? The definition of love is vague and yet, so simple. All of us fall in love, but how many of us understand the true meaning of love?

 

The meaning of love can’t really be explained, it has to be experienced. The definition of love may be two sentences long, but what is love really, and how does it work?

And how does it make you feel?

The meaning of love ......
Love… I wonder what it really means.

Is it the feeling that makes me want to jump out with joy?
Or is it that touch that makes me want to skip across the clouds?
I wonder if it is love when I feel happy to see his face, or is it love when I embrace him passionately?
It’s strange but words seem to welcome poverty when we try to find the meaning of love.
I don’t know if I’m in love, I ask myself all the time if I’m in love.



I really don’t know the definition of love because no one has ever showed me what love really is. They say it is felt, when I embrace my lover. They say it is to be heard, in the rustle of the leaves, in the cool breeze, in the words of the special person in my life.

They say love is to be seen in the beauty of the world, in the depth of my lover’s eyes.
Or as some say, is love is to be tasted, like the sweet candy that melts in my mouth, or the way I melt when my lips meet his lips?
I don’t know what the definition of love is, but does love mean sacrifices and pain? Or is it love when I kill myself for his love? If that is true love, then perhaps, I’m not in love at all. I have never felt like I have sacrificed anything , I have readily given up anything that I could give up to make him happy.

 So what then, is the meaning of love?
I have never felt pain when he fought with me, I have understood him better. And I would never kill myself, why would I want to leave such a beautiful place, and a beautiful person like him, just to prove that I love him? So am I in love with him, I don’t know.


What is love then?
Perhaps I still don’t know what love is, because no one has ever told me what love is. I’ve only read about it in books and listened to songs that try to explain the meaning of love.
I’ve heard songs that say love is like a river, some songs that say love is like an undying flame, and yet others that say love is like a warm breeze. How can love be so many different things and yet be the same?

But I do know that my world stops when I’m with him. I burn inside and warmth fills within me as he clasps my hand . I lose sight of the world when I gaze into his eyes. I don’t know what it is that makes me weak when he hugs me. He makes me feel special when he’s around me. But I did tell him that I loved him, but I’ve been thinking about that ever since the day I told him that, is it love really, what I feel for him?

Scars ............

 



-Turn your scars into stars.
-  Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones
-  The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.
-   Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

" Things Are Worthwhile When We Seek Them..........."

Things are worthwhile when we seek them; only then do we know their value..........
The word journey may be applied to life. As life has two aspects, it may either be called a journey or a goal.
Why should life be called a journey? Because there is a change in nature and a change of experience. One goes from one experience to another, and that is also the meaning of the word journey: going from one place to another, passing from one experience to another. The whole of the external life is nothing but a succession of experiences, one after the other, night and day. That is why it is called a journey.


Yet there is a part of life from which this life of changes has sprung; the life which is everlasting, which is eternal, the life to which all things return; and that life is the goal. Therefore, life is not only a journey; it is a goal. The goal is the stable part of life, the source of life; the manifested life called creation is the journey.


Which is the most desirable thing in life, to seek for the goal or to dwell in this changing life? The answer is that every person's desire is according to his evolution. That for which he is ready is desirable for him. Milk is a desirable food for the infant, other foods for the grown-up person. Every stage in life has its own appropriate and desirable things. The desire to attain to a goal must be there before reaching it; when he does not feel the desire, it is not necessary for a man to seek it.

All things are worthwhile when we seek after them; then only do we appreciate their value; then only are we happy to have them. We do not need the things we do not know and do not desire. We need them when we know them and desire them.

There are four different desires:
 the desire to know,
 desire to love and be loved,
 the desire for joy,
 the desire for peace.

The world is engaged in four different kinds of occupations. To one person some of them may be repellant and undesirable, while to another they seem desirable. Everyone has his own occupation in which he seems to be happy, but that of another seems to him useless, foolish or undesirable.



These four paths are diverse. Everyone considers his own the best and wisest. The path of the lover is for him, the path of the one seeking for wealth is for him, the seeker after paradise is following his path, it is all a journey. It is simply that there are four different routes by which the journey is made.


The great thing is that one should journey with one single desire. There should be the single desire: whether to love a beloved, to collect wealth, or to do some good for the world of humanity, or to attain paradise. There should be the desire to journey to the goal. So many do not know which is the goal or what it is. One thinks wealth is the goal, another paradise, another the beloved. They do not see that there is still a further goal. They are naturally prompted by the desire to get to the goal, and yet they are not conscious of the further goal.


The real desire is for that kingdom of perfection, the goal of everything, but how can a person desire that of which he does not realize the meaning? Desire comes by knowing the thing to be desired. If we do not know what the goal is like, how can we be attracted to it?


Is it not true of every individual in this world that, whatever may be his desire, as long as he has not attained it he is unhappy, and eager and anxious to achieve it? He is longing and suffering and doing all he can to attain it; but when he has succeeded, he does not feel happy. At once a new desire arises; if he has a thousand he wants a million; if he has done one duty there is another, and after that another. So it is with love affairs; so it is with paradise. He will never feel contented and satisfied, because fundamentally it is not the desire that he is really concerned with. Though he crosses the boundary wall of the desire he finds himself again with a new desire. And this itself proves the fact that there is really only one fundamental desire underlying all others: the desire for spiritual perfection.


One is not capable of setting out on the journey to the eternal goal unless the four desires and occupations have been surmounted. In the first place the motive limits one to certain kinds of accomplishment; and it does not allow one to accomplish anything beyond the scope of that particular motive. As long as a person has the desire to attain to something with a particular motive, he cannot go further. That is why the sages have said, 'Rise above the earthly motives. Accomplish all you wish to accomplish in life, whatever be the motive, and then that itself will lead you to a stage from which you can rise above them, and above the earthly desires of the body'. They have never said, 'Stop, and go into the jungle, and see life from our point of view'. Everybody's path is for himself. Let everyone achieve the fulfillment of his own desires so as to be able to rise above them to the eternal goal.

..............

...


Look Back and get Experience ....
Look Forward and see Hope ....
Look Around and find Reality ....
Look Within and Find Yourself ....