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Sunday, August 25, 2013

A woman’s response to “Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage” .........



began by “Wendy” ...............

I’m a woman, divorced after 7 years of marriage. I read your post and appreciate the heart behind the advice. The fact that you you recognize the part you played in the scheme of things is a feat in itself. Being able to face the past with openness and humility is admirable and not something many can, or even want, to accomplish.

Given my experience, there are some key concepts I learned in my journey as well. We women have equal responsibility in making a marriage work. For all the points mentioned for husbands, there are perhaps also some for wives I would like to share.

1. Seek counsel from older, wiser women who have succeeded in their marriages. It’s impossible to make good decisions when we’re emotional. And seeking counsel from your friends who are your own age isn’t as good as counsel from elderly women.

2. Never forget or take for granted that your man chose you.

3. Always seek out the best in him. Dwell on those things, not what you don't like about him.

4. It’s not your job to change or fix him. We are all on a journey. 

5. We are responsible for our reactions, no one else. We must take full accountability of our emotions and how we respond. And so must he.

6. Allow your man to just be. Be a comfort, be a gentle and giving spirit when the times call for it.


7. Love him in the way he needs it, not the way you assume he needs it. Find out your different love languages and be sensitive and ready to show him you love him in ways he understands best.

8. Be present. Give him your time and attention when he needs it. In my experience, during those times I did serve him, he over time, served me.

9. Be willing to have him sexually. Let him know you need his masculine presence, that you trust him fully.

10. Give him space. He needs times to find his new self (we change constantly) before he can give of himself.
11. Be vulnerable. Do not be afraid to share your fears and feelings. Men tend to know when we’re keeping things from them. And they know when we’re transparent. And, I can’t emphasize this more: acknowledge your mistakes. Say you’re sorry when you know you need to.

12. Do not be afraid to be fully transparent. This builds great trust over time.
13. Find common hobbies, goals and dreams. Also, find common ground in your faith. Never stop growing together. Laugh lots. Fall in love over and over again.
14. Don’t let financial issues come between you.
15. Forgive. Don’t let history hold you or your man hostage.
16. Always, choose love. Love is action, not emotion. Don’t miss that.

1 comment:

Sherry Francis said...

My Name is Blessing.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my boyfriend back and he means so much to me..The boy i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another woman..,When i called him he never picked my calls,he block me on his facebook and he changed he facebook status from married to Single...when i went to him to his place of work he told his boss he never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have him back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting him back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my boyfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My boyfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all he had done ..he said,he never knew what his doing and he sudden behavior was not intentional and he promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from him and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my husband called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my boyfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 10 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can email him at (orissatemple@yahoo.com)