" Sow............."

Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.

" My Daughter........."

Assalamu alaykum...

To all my friends...
help me...pls make du'a for my daughter Nabeela....
she was admitted in the hospital...will be operate soon...

" Self Confidence or Over Confidence..............."

Self Confidence or Over Confidence

" Pls make doa for me........."

Yaa Rabb ...........

Please give me strength and courage
to face the day ahead.

Please give me wisdom
with every word I speak.

Please give me patience,
as I comfort the sick and weak.

Please give me assurance,
as the day slips into night.
That I have done the best I can,
that I have done what is right.

Give to my heart,
compassion and understanding.
Give to my hands,
skill and tenderness.
Give to my ears
the ability to listen.
Give to my lips
words of comfort.

.......ameen

---

" Gold Fish - Truly Shocking..........."

Gold Fish - Truly Shocking

This is an amazing creation of Allah. Gold Fish, which was found in the sea in Taiwan was put to display in Taiwan's Natural Museum. Scientists have found that some of the parts of this beautiful fish are of 24 carat pure gold. The fish entirely is golden in color.

" Life Is Too Short To Be Lived Creating Problems.............."

~ Life Is Too Short To Be Lived Creating Problems ~



"Many a times we don't realize that what we are doing to others is very much the deciding factor of how much they love us or keep us in esteem or fundamentally like to be in touch with us."

Some of the most common problems associated with people who complain lack of love and satisfaction from their spouses, friends, peers and family is their sinister habit of nagging, incessant stalking and cynicism.

How much of our time do we waste by nagging those who are near to us, if we do?

How much of their time do we waste, by doing this, if we do?

This is a common spoiler in relationships, be it marriage, friendships or professional interactions. Anyone serious enough to improve his/her quality of life should be more than happy to pay attention to such an important facet of life and human relations. This is high time for all of us to evaluate ourselves on this scale.

Psychologists and psychiatrists around the world say that people who tend to try to exercise undue control over other people, using this kind of a nagging approach, usually have some deep unmet needs from childhood. Either their legitimate desires were not met or their handicaps have been over emphasized.

Let us remind ourselves that it is their childhood hurts and dissatisfactions, which might be because of careless parents, siblings or social upbringings, which are causing them to be over reactive and cynical to simple issues of life.

For example: a dark complexioned person may be too reactive to conversations about skin color, if his/her parents and relatives have knowingly or unknowingly criticized and made fun of their skin color from childhood.

There is enough data from psychological research to prove that such people derive a satisfying feeling over uncontrollable situations and persons, by throwing such tantrums. It seems to give them a sense of ego satisfaction.

Hence let us re-evaluate if we are one of this kind and importantly let us not take a judgmental stance if we meet or associate with one such person but try to relate to them and make them feel easy.

Let us encourage them to be a livelier person and assure them that it is easy to overcome such a kind of behavior even though it usually stems from childhood.

Those of us who unfortunately express such behaviors need not feel ashamed but have to remind ourselves that we don't have any right to waste someone else's time by such activities, but instead, spend that time for self-improvement.

Anyone who follows this will see that people will eventually recognize the change and will like to spend their time and energy with them.

Similarly anyone who wants others to like them and enjoy spending their time and conversations with them cannot continue to be petty, trivial, cynical and nagging.

Only if these things are deliberately zeroed in on will people like to associate happily. Otherwise it would become a ritualistic relationship.

Let us remember a quotation:
"Sharing our time with others is one of the greatest gifts we give them, we give them a part of our lifespan".

If we want people to share their lives with us, we have to be interesting and not repelling.

Let us share our lives in the best possible way. Let us remind ourselves that life is too short to be lived petty, so let us live it pretty.

" Dont Get Cheated.............."

THE POWER OF PHOTO EDITOR

" The Best Mother................."

~ The Best Mother ~

" The Woman: A Parable..............."

~ The Woman: A Parable ~

A man was walking through the marketplace one afternoon when, just as
the muedhin began the call to prayer; his eye fell on a woman’s back. She was
strangely attractive, though dressed in fulsome black, a veil over head and
face and she now turned to him as if somehow conscious of his over-lingering
regard, and gave him a slight but meaningful nod before she rounded the corner
into the lane of silk sellers. As if struck by a bolt from heaven, the man was
at once drawn, his heart a prisoner of that look, forever. In vain he struggled
with his heart, offering it one sound reason after another to go his way — wasn’t it time to pray? — but it was finished:
there was nothing but to follow.

He hastened after her, turning into the market of silks, breathing from
the exertion of catching up with the woman, who had unexpectedly outpaced him
and even now lingered for an instant at the far end of the market, many shops
ahead. She turned toward him, and he thought he could see a flash of a
mischievous smile from beneath the black muslin of her veil, as she — was it his
imagination? — beckoned to him again.

The poor man was beside himself. Who was she? The daughter of a wealthy
family? What did she want? He requickened his steps and turned into the lane
where she had disappeared. And so she led him, always beyond reach, always
tantalizingly ahead, now through the weapons market, now the oil merchants’, now
the leather sellers’; farther and farther from where they began. The feeling
within him grew rather than decreased. Was she mad? On and on she led, to the
very edge of town.

The sun declined and set, and there she was, before him as ever. Now they had arrived, of all places, to the City of Tombs. Had he been in his normal
senses, he would have been afraid, but indeed, he now reflected, stranger places
than this had seen a lovers’ tryst.

There were scarcely twenty cubits between them when he saw her look
back, and, giving a little start, she skipped down the steps and through the
great bronze door of what seemed to be a very old sepulchre. A soberer moment
might have seen the man pause, but in his present state, there was no turning
back and he went down the steps and slid in after her.

Inside, as his eyes saw after a moment, there were two flights of steps
that led down to a second door, from whence a light shone, and which he equally
passed through. He found himself in a large room, somehow unsuspected by the
outside world, lit with candles upon its walls. There sat the woman, opposite
the door on a pallet of rich stuff in her full black dress, still veiled, reclining on a pillow against the far wall. To the right of the pallet, the man
noticed a well set in the floor.

“Lock the door behind you,” she said in a low, husky voice that was
almost a whisper, “and bring the key.”

He did as he was told.

She gestured carelessly at the well. “Throw it in.”

A ray of sense seemed to penetrate, for a moment, the clouds over his
understanding, and a bystander, had there been one, might have detected the
slightest of pauses.

“Go on,” she said laughingly, “You didn’t hesitate to miss the prayer as
you followed me here, did you?”

He said nothing.

“The time for sunset prayer has almost finished as well,” she said with
gentle mockery. “Why worry? Go on, throw it in. You want to please me, don’t
you?”

He extended his hand over the mouth of the well, and watched as he let
the key drop. An uncanny feeling rose from the pit of his stomach as moments
passed but no sound came. He felt wonder, then horror, then comprehension.

“It is time to see me,” she said, and she lifted her veil to reveal not
the face of a fresh young girl, but of a hideous old crone, all darkness and
vice, not a particle of light anywhere in its eldritch lines.

“See me well,” she said. “My name is Dunya, This World. I am your
beloved. You spent your time running after me, and now you have caught up with
me. In your grave. Welcome, welcome.”

At this she laughed and laughed, until she shook herself into a small mound of fine dust, whose fitful shadows, as the candles went out, returned to the darkness one by one.

-How strange it is that we turn our back on He who offers us everlasting love and happiness, in our intoxicated state we give our souls to a treacherous fleeting world. Ya Allah, protect us from ourselves!

~ Life Is All Just But A Game ~


We have always been told not to treat life as a game and that we have to be serious about it. Yes, I totally agree on that but agreeing that we should be serious in our game.

There is nothing wrong with treating life as a game as long as you play it seriously. In fact if you were to give it some serious thoughts, life can indeed be just like a game.

Perhaps, let us define what makes a game a game

I should believe that you have personally played before, a variety of different games? Some would have been fun and amusing while some boring. But be they however entertaining or not, all the games you have played eventually lead to an ending didn't they? It was an either win or loses, or maybe even a draw for some.

That's life! Just as like a game, all our actions in life will lead to a certain outcome too. I should believe that you have heard of the saying, you can either be a winner or a loser in life? And I am sure you would want to be a winner in life?

Now, what matters is how you are going to play this game of yours, your very own game of life. And for your information, your game has already begun.

What is the key to winning a game?

The key to winning a game is always to understand the objective of the game well. It is only when you are clear about the objective will you know how to go about playing the game?

And what should the objective of your game be? It is for you to decide. Remember. This is yours very own game, your very own life. Before this game can proceed, you have to first get your objective right, knowing clearly what you want for yourself in life. There is not point rushing into the game. Without a clear objective, you will probably end up wasting your precious time losing the very whole game.

Lay down your objectives first and then you are ready to start your game.

Next, would be to work out some wise strategies.

First: Get to understand the strength of you, yourself (the key player) Now, everyone is bound to be strong and weak in certain areas. Ask yourself what are you good in and what are you weak in? Attack the game in those areas you are strong in and avoid those where you are weak at.

Second: Build up a strong ally or team. In this game, you are bound to meet many other different players. And remember, some are there to help you while some are there to harm and to put you down. Choose wisely the partners who can help you, especially in the areas you are weak in. Your unique strengths plus theirs will make up the whole and together this will be a strong team. To form a soccer team, you will need at least eleven players each with their specialty, isn't it? Understand this. You can never rule this world alone.

Third: Plan your attack. Once you get the foundation right, clearly knowing the strength and weakness of yourself and the players around you, plan your moves accordingly. Decide on a plan that best suits you and your fellow team players; a plan that is within the capability of everyone. No point having the best of plans when there is no one to execute it.

Finally: Take actions! Paper talk no matter how excellent the plan is won't get you anywhere without real physical actions.

Many have great ideas, some of which are indeed excellent but lack the drive and the courage to execute them; to put them into real actions. And why is this so? Because they are still unclear of their objectives in life. They didn't clearly understand themselves, failing to find out what they want in life.

Remember. In this game of life, there is never a predetermined ending. What will be the outcome of the game? Nobody knows. And in this game of life, there is never a fixed rule to how you are going to play it. But understand this. For all games that exist in this world, there is one ultimate rule: If you are not going to play, you can never win. That's life! If you never give yourself the chance to try, how will you ever know what will just come next?

Without some real physical actions, you won't get anywhere in this game. In life, if you are not going to take any actions to work towards your objective, nothing will ever happen.

But as the word game imply, it mean winning is certainly achievable. Understand the game well, play it smartly and the chances of winning will be there. And remember. This game of life will only end when you decided to give up. Though you may fail at times during this game but this game of life is not going to end on you unless you give up on yourself.

Remember. The law of Nature states that for all that exist in this world there is always the equal and opposite side to them. When there can be failure, there can also be victory too. Don't give up without even trying.

" Everything in life happens for a reason ~................."

~ Everything in life happens for a reason ~

When in doubts, always ask......... right?

This is the very way of life. All events that happen in life always lead to a next event and so on and so for. What will happen next? We wouldn't know and this is for you to find out. This is an ever-going cycle in the law of nature. At the end of the day, what matters is where will they lead you to.

And for what reasons would these events be, good or bad? It very much depends on you. This is the cause and effect of life. You have to understand this. It is always your actions that decide what should happen next. Picture them as a good cause and positive actions will follow. Picture them as a bad cause and more negative actions will just follow, leading to undesired outcome.

And for some reasons or so, many of us tend to just always prefer to have negative thoughts (pessimistic) than to having positive thoughts (optimistic) And with such thoughts in mind, even things that indeed happen for a good cause will just turn out to be for bad cause; leading to more and just more unnecessary stress and worries.

Why? Is there anything wrong to think positive? Is it against the law to think positively?

Perhaps let me just ask. To talk about a forest fire, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Terrible and frightening?

But what if I were to tell you that a forest fire is necessary and a must? (not talking about those created by man of course) In actual fact, natural wildland fires are essential for the correct functioning of many ecosystems; to allow the forest to renew itself; to bring about benefits for both the nature and us.

Understand this. Not everything in life happens for a bad cause.

To just share with you, I have known of a good friend who previously got retrench from his job. Back then, he was definitely feeling real depressed and lost. Not to mention that it took him almost close to a year before finding a new job. But it is because of the change in job that he met his love, to actually start a new chapter in life; happily married now.

Now, isn't that for a good cause that he actually got retrenched back then? Just recall. I am sure you have come across many encouraging events in your life too?

Or are you going to still, be complaining? Perhaps complaining about all those additional work assigned to you?

Sometimes, all those additional work which you may find rubbish are there to actually prepare you for your next journey. Think of it this way. Won't these new acquired skills and experience just come in handy if you were to start your own business?

Complaints won't get us anywhere. Open up ourself and we will see more. All those events we meet in life, be they little or major are there for a reason. Uncover them and they will lead us towards a new journey...

~ Forget The Past and Move On?

~ Forget The Past and Move On? ~

Everyone is bound to experience unhappiness in his or her life. I am sure you have had some unpleasant memories too, perhaps some which are of real painful ones? Well, forget the past and move on and let time heal your pain. And to be mentioning them again, some would still hurt a lot............ isn't it?

So here, what does it suggests? Very simple, it just goes to say that you have not forgotten them! But does this then mean you are not ready to move on?

We humans are by nature affectionate with feelings and emotions and to be feeling down and unhappy at times is inevitable. But then, this is nevertheless the gift of ours. Now, I am sure you wouldn't want to be one who is cold blooded and without any feeling of love and affection? Then, the presence of unpleasant memories has got to just be part and parcel of your life. You see, it is only when you actually went through unhappiness, will you be able to then understand and truly appreciate the gift of happiness. And just as you are not able to forget all those sweet and wonderful memories of yours, there is no way you can simply forget the unpleasant past. To forget the past, that is only running away from reality. Rather, you should instead of forgetting them, remember and accept them.

Now follow this scenario. Imagine you enjoying your vacation and suddenly you receive an overseas phone call from back home with the news that your mum met with a car accident and is in hospital. Receiving such news, no matter how fun and exciting your holiday is, you definitely won't be able to enjoy yourself anymore isn't it? But what if we say that at the next instant, you receive a follow-up call informing you that it was only a very minor accident and your mum has been discharged?

You see, what that happened is you actually went through a state of drastic change in emotion. On hearing about the accident, you got scared and worried, overwhelmed by fear and anxiety; the more you think about it the more fear and anxiety grew within you, weighing you down each and every second. But on receiving next the good news, you let go of them all. And yes, the very key here is you Let Go! Once again, you return back to your normal self and were back smiling again. And why is this so? That is because you have let go of all those fear and were no longer burdened by them anymore. You understood clearly the situation, knowing very clearly that the problem has been resolved and there is no need for you to worry further. Well, when there is nothing for you to worry, why would there still be unpleasantness of fear and anxiety?

And well, the same principle applies here. To move on, you have to learn to let go of the unpleasant past. But to get it clear, by asking you to let go is not asking you to try and forget the past. As mentioned, it is not going to be easy for you to just forget all those past unpleasantness. Yes, you may claim that you are able to forget some though. But here, you have to understand that those are just the insignificant events that have got not at all any harsh impact on you and which is why you are able to forget them very easily. In short, you have understood their insignificance and let go of them. And hence to be saying, for those that that still haunt you, you have yet to understand them enough; you are still unwilling to accept the fact that they actually happened.

Now, everything in life happen for a reason and the reason for going through these unhappiness is actually to help you to better understand yourself, to allow you to grow wiser and to move on and progress in life.

Ok, just picture your life to be a test. Now, in that many tests which you have taken, I am sure you didn't score a perfect full mark for all of them? And why is it so? That is because you didn't fully understand every of what was tested? And should you be to retake the tests, why would you do to ensure that you score a full mark? Well, to be able to achieve full mark this time, you have to study and understand the mistakes that you have earlier made. And here, to be able to truly move on in life, you have to study and understand your unhappiness just like how you would for your mistakes in your tests. Instead of clinging on so tightly, you should examine where things actually went wrong and correct on them. Take for instance a break up in relationship, you should instead of refusal, graciously accept it as a learning experience for you to improve on yourself, to understand your mistakes and to hence be able to do better in your next relationship. Well, think about it. If you are not going to open up yourself, do you think you can fare better in your next relationship? Even if you were to be given another chance to patch up with him or her, of what difference would it make if you are going to remain immature still and not willing to adopt changes?

Now, I would choose to believe that you are mature enough to think for yourself. To cling on to your unhappiness or to stand up and courageously face them, it is all up to you. But I am sure you will make a wise choice, yeah? Afterall, if you have had that courage to stand up again and again despite all those hurtful falls when you were a baby, I am sure you can once again stand up on your feet to walk on and move on? Don't let your unpleasant past be an obstacle to you, let it be instead a driving force for you to move on and progress in life. Let go of the unpleasant past now, happiness is what you should deserve.

~.Learn By The Way Of Life

~ Learn By The Way Of Life ~

The correct way of learning - To let go to learn or to learn to let go?

Well, you see. To be able to efficiently learn and master a new knowledge or skill, you have to first be willing to let go and abandon any hindering thoughts or ideas, which you might have. You should not allow any past knowledge and experiences to reject the intake of new information and ideas. Instead, you should graciously welcome them and embrace the learning of every new skill. As to whether you are going to apply them, that would come later. The key is, once you mastered the skill it will follow you forever; at the very least when you need it, you know you have the ability.

To start off, if you are not hunger for new knowledge, how can you possibly learn? If you are not hunger for food, you are just not going to enjoy your food not matter how tasty they are. The principle is the same.

Once you have decided to pursue a new skill, you go all out for it. You make the best out of the learning process. You make sure you take in to the best of your capability, the acquiring of the new knowledge and skill. It is never a disadvantage to know more. Don't unknowingly let your pride and ego hinder your achievement.

So to be asking, which comes first for you? To let go to achieve the best learning or to learn how to be able to let go first?

It can be quite a conflicting argument here, isn't it? But that is the way of life! In life, there could never be a thing known as the Perfect Balance. How to balance out your life; your learning process in life, that is for you to handle.

Similarly, what is the best tactic to winning? Again, there could never one perfect winning tactic. In fact, having of no tactics can be the just the best tactic sometimes. Haven't you hear before the joke, no choice is a good choice?

And well, for those of you who are the Chinese Kung Fu novel or movie fans, you should have come across plots where the key to learning the superb kung fu skill in the story is to first destroy one's very own skill; to start from scratch. Or perhaps other similar plot where the highest-level of the art of kung fu is one that is without actually any fixed move and pattern. The invincible kung fu master is able to defeat his opponents without the use of any special move or stroke; taking his opponents down just as they come along.

So the point here is, you have to be open and keep a clear mind to achieve the best learning result. Sometimes less is actually equal to more.

When there come the chance to learn more, you welcome them. Don't let any past hurting experience stop you. Similarly, don't be too prideful of yourself. You have to understand that you can't win all the times. You may be winning now but still it doesn't mean you won't lose. Be open, learn to accept new ideas and opinions from others. It is not going to do you any harm to be learning more and likewise, to listen and to learn from others. You never know when that new knowledge would come in useful; to help you through suicidal problems that may arise. Well, life is always full of surprises, isn't it?

Work smart but don't outsmart yourself. Learn by the way of life and you shall be able to flexibly handle any problems like the invincible kung fu master, defeating his opponents just as they come.

~ Knowing Your Limit ~

~ Knowing Your Limit ~
(The Key to winning a game)

"Excuse me, please know your limits" Now, I am sure you wouldn't find that a nice statement to be getting? Or has someone actually used the above remark on you before?

Yes. There is definitely a limit to things and a limit to what you can do.

But the question here is have you really reached your limits? And to answer you, I dare to be telling you no you have not! In fact, I have seen many who gave up without even actually even trying. Or perhaps to them, they have already tried more than just hard enough?

You see. Many of us are been brought up in a very well taken care of environment, especially the younger generations. As compared to the olden days, technology today has certainly provided for a much easier life. We have the best of the equipment and machines to help us with our heavy load of works. Transportation is like so convenient. And even walking, we have the most comfortable of shoes to be putting on and so on so for. In short, we are in a way too pampered.

Yes, to be seeing all these improvement in life is certainly brilliant. We definitely need to keep improving and move ahead. But still, we can't deny that technology has indeed in way disrupted the nature way of life.

Now, over-relying on someone or something is never desired. But to be saying, this is what happening to many of us; being either over pampered by the parents or relying just too much on technology, forgetting the very basic of things. And when real big problem come, ended up at a total loss for what to do, not knowing how to correctly handle the situation.

But the very fact is we do have the capability to overcome the problem but sadly to be saying, many just do not know how to put forth their inner ability to use.

You see. To begin off life way back into the past, survival was only made possible through the discovering and understanding of one's strength and ability. And this understanding is not achieved in just a day but through numerous of harsh and dangerous experimenting to overcoming of obstacles after obstacles.

But in this modern day now, many just simply give up trying upon meeting of some obstacles and which some are not even considered to be an obstacle at all.

Understand this. To begin off, there is never a thing called ruler or even pencil that exists. And to draw a straight line, we simply make use of stones to draw against rock. And will we be able to get a perfect straight line? No way, isn't it?

Precisely! And this is how's life has always been. There can never be a perfect smooth path in life too. A perfect life? No way is life going to be just perfect. In life, there is bound to be obstacles after obstacles you are going to meet.

To achieve success in life, you must be prepared to face them.

Now, think back again. Have you really tried hard enough? Have you truly reached your limits of your ability?

Seek the correct understanding of life. Give yourself the chance to know the true you within yourself. There is definitely more to what you can achieve.

~Are You Knowledgeable Or Are You Wise? ~

~ Are You Knowledgeable Or Are You Wise? ~

A knowledgeable man and a Wise man, what is the difference between the both? This is a very simple question to be answering, isn't it? But still, there is many variations to how it could be answered; some can answer it with just one simple sentence while some could actually go on with paragraphs and paragraphs for it.

What would be the correct answer to this question then? Again, that depends on what kind of a person we are, whether we are the knowledgeable or the wise type.

What am I trying to get at here? Well, am definitely not here to argue about the meaning of the two words. Rather, the purpose is to allow us a moment to ponder and think, to bring to our senses the mistakes that we might have unknowingly made and for us to next correct them.

Let looks at an example. Since young, we have been repeatedly taught to be honest and that it is wrong of us to lie. But now, if we were given a choice between telling a white lie to save someone's life and telling the truth to end his life, which will we choose? And let just take it that he made a mistake but then he has done no harm to in anyway hurt anyone physically. Given such a scenario, I am sure we wouldn't be so cruel to actually indirect murder him? We were taught to be also kind and forgiving, aren't we?

So here, what would be the rationale behind this decision of ours? Why would we actually want to give him this chance? The reason? Well, that is because there is kindness in you; you understand the essence of what true kindness is. You see, what that was taught to you is what we would call knowledge, theories that made beautiful sense; theories that should work in the ideal case. But in actual life, are things going to be that ideal all the times? Definitely not always possible! And here is where you need to be wise, to have the wisdom to be able to judge properly what is true or right. And yes! You did very well. In the given example, you are able to judge wisely for yourself between honesty and kindness.

Give you another example, let us take for instance medication and herbalism. Now, if we were to simply base our approach on pure knowledge, there are several long past records from the ancient times that document the use of healing agents for the recovery of various illnesses. Yes, these records would provide us with good references but then, are we going to just simply base on them and apply the immediate and complete use of them? No! Rather, we have to still study them carefully and understand their true effect and influence before actually applying them. And even when using them, we have to keep monitoring their progressive effect and influence on the individuals; the effect may not be the same for every one and sometimes instead of curing, an over dosage can inversely cause harm. So here, we have to be wise to remain rational in our actions. Yes, it may hurt us a lot to see our loved ones in pain but still, we can't get emotional and react impulsively and feed them with extra dosage or worse, unclear medicine that might threaten their life.

Get the picture now? In short, we can put it this way, knowledge is knowing the steps and processes but wisdom is understanding them to correctly apply them in accordance to the situations that arise. But to be saying, many have been too blinded by knowledge to respond wisely especially with the younger generations of Today where most are of at least a university graduate. You see, knowledge can give you a very misleading idea that you are the expert who knows everything but in reality, do you really understand? Just picture a psychologist who has never been in love advising you on how to handle your marriage, do you think he could totally understand the very problem? Your mum though not as highly educated but who has the experience may provide you with just better advice.

So back to our life, don't look down on yourself just because you possess poor paper qualification. Real wisdom is what that cannot be taught to you from school. Rather, it can only be manifested through your own understanding and realization of life. So similarly, don't be too prideful of yourself if you were to possess excellent paper qualification. You have to understand that what you have is only the knowledge; beautiful theories of others pass on to you. But how to be applying them into your own life, that is for you to comprehend and figure out still. At the end of the day, it is whether are you willing to explore and seek the further understanding of life.

Now, you don't need others to plan for you what you want in life. What is it that you want for yourself, that is for you to decide yourself. Well, if you can't even decide this for yourself, what is the point even if you were to be the most knowledgeable man on earth? Let knowledge be a tool to help you but not an obstacle to bring you down.

~.Weaknesses or Strengths? ~

~ Weaknesses or Strengths? ~

Feeling unhappy over yourself? Hating yourself for who you are?

Why must you be feeling so? To just be very straight with you, this is the act of a fool.

Now, even if the whole world is going to look down on you, you should never look down on yourself. The more they are going to look down on you, the more you should prove yourself to them, isn't it? And I am sure your family and many other loved ones would never ever look down on you. So the more you shouldn't let them down, isn't it?

Understand this. Strength or a weakness of yours, which is going to be which, is still too early to be deciding now. For all you may know, your weaknesses may just become your strength and your strength, your weaknesses to become. In life, there is not definite power, not definite rights or wrongs. What that matters is how you are going to put to use what you have within yourself.

You see. One who excel in his or hers studies doesn't necessarily mean he or she is just going to do well in life. In fact, they are indeed many top students who fail badly in life when they enter the working society.

Yes. They have the strength, that High IQ to absorb all those profound theories taught in school, getting straight As for all their exams. They are very good at putting theories of others into their head. And because they scored As for them, they believe and insisted that they are the correct way to doing things. They failed to understand that what is success for others may not just be success for everyone. Stubborn in a way, you can say.

And because of their excellent academic result, they got straight into high position in big companies. The higher they just climbed. And when they eventually failed, they fall so badly that they couldn't pick themselves up; failing just further to perform to expectations of their job. Some were given another chance but some, sadly to say, got laid off. This is how practical and realistic this world can be.

What may seem a strength to them at first has turned out to one big weakness.

Remember. The correct idea of learning is to understand and put to practical use of the knowledge to life and through experiences, constantly customizing them to suits you. In simple, to be flexible.

Yes, you may have failed for now. But that doesn't mean you are going to fail forever. And let's just be frank, this is definitely not the first time you encounter failure in life? And you are still surviving, isn't it? Meaning to say, you have that subconscious will and determination within you not wanting to just give up. In a way, you have been very strong.

Think about it. Stubbornness can be either a strength or weakness. To stubborn to learn to give in and accept changes in life, that is a weakness. Being persistent in pursuing your goals and never giving up easily, that is strength.

What your character make out of you depends on how you actually put them to use.

The laziest person can become the best salesperson, excelling in an area where tedious hands-on work is at minimum. A person who can never wake up in time for the normal 9 to 5 job can choose to work as a freelancer, performing better in the hours which suits him. A bankruptcy can become the best motivator, sharing his or her precious experience with the young's. A little child who never fail to explain his way through for his mischievous and wrongdoing may just become a good lawyer when he grow up.

And there is definitely more.

Stop hating yourself. There is certainly that very something special inside of you waiting to be discovered by you, something that could bring about that difference to your life...

" Do You Judge People ? .............."

~

~ Do You Judge People ~

Once upon a time there was one storyteller. After getting tired of telling old fabricated stories, he left his house in search of a real life story.

He reached a village and took a cottage for rent. After roaming in the village throughout the month, in search of true story, the storyteller couldn't find one. Disappointed, he decided to stop his search.

The next day, while sitting in the cottage, he suddenly heard a voice - a woman was yelling at someone. The voice was coming from the big wall behind his cottage.

He tried to hear the conversation; it sounded like the woman was abusing her daughter-in-law. The storyteller didn't like it but he was happy to finally get his story.

Listening to the conversations each day he added them to his story. Though he couldn't see the characters of his story, he started hating the Mother-in-law, as she seemed to be villain.

Now it was time to finalize the end of the story. But before he did, the storyteller wanted to see the characters once, so he climbed the wall.

There he saw the mother-in-law sitting in a wheelchair. It seemed she was handicapped and that the daughter-in-law was resting nearby.

He saw the old lady trying to get a food item lying on the table near her chair. But because of her condition, she couldn't reach it and the daughter-in-law looked like she was enjoying the old lady's helplessness.

Suddenly the old lady fell from the chair and started abusing her daughter in-law.

The storyteller went back and quickly changed the ending of the story and was stunned at how different it was compared to what he originally thought it would be.

Truly he had found both a real life story and a real life lesson.

Lesson: Never judge a situation unless you know all the aspects well. Sometimes you can't imagine your distance from the reality.

" Ego Checking ..........."

Ego Checking ...........


A popular catch phrase today is “check your ego at the door.” Actually you really don’t want to do that. Sometimes the only thing you have that holds you all together is your ego. What you do want to leave behind though, are the more subtle negative behaviors of your ego, that interfere with good interpersonal relations—especially effective communication. These are the things that keep you from going from good to great in learning how to be successful.

Personal growth is a process of finding out what good habits to cultivate and what bad ones to eliminate. Knowing what bad habits to get rid of is only the beginning. You have to figure out how to do this. Fortunately the mechanism is already in place. If you are motivated to learn and grow, you will gradually become more aware of your bad habits, as they happen. The more you witness these things happening, the more uncomfortable you become and the more you will think about why you don’t really want to do these things. You eventually learn to replace them with something more positive.

There are seven positive behaviors of your ego that you want to cultivate and there are seven counter-parts you want to eliminate. These things all work together and the end result is the Golden Rule in action.

REVERENCE VS. RUDENESS

The truth of the matter is that we are all guests on this planet and we have an obligation to respect everything—especially our fellow human beings. Research reveals that the majority of people say politeness helps produce a perception of likability, which paves the way for positive influence. Unfortunately, national research reveals that politeness is on the decline. What a paradox.

The lesson is, if you want to be noticed and have a positive influence on others, be reverent and polite. On the other hand, rudeness is at the top of the list of what influences a perception of unlikability, which results in unfavorable outcomes with people. The choice should be easy.

EQUALITY VS. SUPERIORITY

We are all born equal, but somewhere along the line we get the notion that our achievements somehow make us superior. If you have worked hard to be successful you have a right to feel superior. But this feeling is something you have to keep to yourself, because other people aren’t really interested in your achievements—especially if theirs are on the light side and they are feeling inferior.

When you make a concerted effort to communicate equality with others, they are more likely to listen to you; when the subtle hints of your superiority leak out in your talk and actions, people’s ears turn elsewhere. Cultivate equality and eliminate superiority.

FREEDOM VS. CONTROL

We humans all have a common characteristic: We are natural rebels about being controlled. That is a condition we will fight against with our last breath. Hence any talk or behavior that insinuates forceful control will always be met with rebellion. One powerful ego is never quite adequate enough to dominate even the weakest one.

If you are in a position of being in control, this becomes somewhat tricky. You have to look for other ways to influence people in the direction you want them to move, other than by using the authority you have been given. And if you are in the undesirable position of having to impose a negative sanction, you may have to get creative and give a few options that allow for some perceived freedom.

ACCEPTANCE VS. JUDGEMENT

Most of us are already our own worst critics and the last thing we need is someone else piling on the bad news with more judgments against us. When we perceive that we are being judged negatively, it makes us feel misunderstood and even inferior. These sorts of feelings tend to make us retreat into a defensive posture—with a mixture of hurt and anger—where communication normally shuts down.

Another reason to try and eliminate your habit of judging others is that your judgments aren’t always correct and they often turn out to be pre-mature once you get all the facts. Suspending your judgment and taking the time to find out exactly why somebody is doing something that might not meet with your approval can be enlightening.

TENTATIVENESS VS. CERTAINTY

What do any us really know with 100% certainty? Maybe a few useless details and a few useful principles. Most of life is tentative and evolving. Although some of us seem to want the certainty that provides security, we know that it is only temporary. Sometimes the brain deceives us by its drive to simplify. Critical thinking teaches us that things are rarely a clear yes or no, at least not without some qualifications

The only thing certain today is change and anyone who professes differently will be met with skepticism and even rejection. In the interest of learning and growing, you should be concerned about disproving your questionable beliefs, rather than gathering supportive evidence to perpetuate the artificial certainty of false ones.

INCLUSION VS. EXCLUSION

A strong human need is to be included. When someone else excludes us or rejects even part of our ideas, it doesn’t make us feel good. Someone once said to me, “dismiss only that which offends your soul.” You can go from good to great by looking for ways to include everything and anything that doesn’t offend your soul.

Everyone has a piece of the puzzle to contribute, and we can all benefit greatly by looking for ways to include what others think and feel. An attitude of inclusion incorporates many of these other positive ego behaviors and can be a very powerful influence with others. At the very least you will be increasing useful knowledge.

EMPATHY VS. INSENSITIVITY

The more you do these other six behaviors, the more your power of empathy grows. Empathy allows you to understand other people’s thoughts, feelings and perspectives and when you begin to communicate that understanding, you are making a friend for life. Such friendships encourage continued growth and lead to success.

By practicing these positive halves of your ego and eliminating their negative counter-parts, you will increase your positive influence with others and be more successful.