A study found that women are the angrier lot in
comparison to men when driving on the road. Naturally, not many people
agree. But if truth be told, our patience often get tested whether when
we're driving or not.
Personality clashes are expected, as no one person is alike. Heck, even
our parents or siblings drive us up the wall from time to time. Patience
is one of those virtues that is admirable, but oh-so-hard to follow
through. It's a combination of calmness and understanding that is
unfortunately lost on many of us today. Getting frustrated, stressed and
angry seems to be the norm.
But just as how you get over-emotional about a situation or another
person, you can also easily transform yourself to be a calm, rational
human being. The key here is willpower and adjusting certain behaviours,
in five steps:
Step 1: Don't say a word
When we're faced with someone that annoys us, the instant reaction is to
put up a shield. Whether to protect or simply to extricate ourselves
from the person/ situation, we are more likely to react negatively.
Here's what you should remember, when you are ruled by your feelings,
you can't think and speak at the same time. And thus, you might just
spew words that you'll likely regret later. So give your mind time to
process what is going on and only say a thing or two to get some
frustrations out. This will be the start to developing greater
tolerance, even towards idiots.
Step 2: The problem is you
Yes, we all would like to shift the blame on someone else for making us
feel this way but the reality is we are responsible for how we feel. We
control our own actions and responses. Another person can't make you
feel angry, frustrated or upset without you allowing it to happen.
This will be the toughest thing to acknowledge but if you can keep the
focus on yourself, then you'll know you're in the driver's seat. Also
know that you can't change or control another person, some are just
negative people. So if they are the problem, the operative manual here
is to let them be, don't get caught up in their world.
Step 3: Question yourself
What is making you so upset? What is it about the situation or person
that is sending you over the edge? You have to find the cause to you
feeling annoyed and impatient.
It could be that that someone reminds you of another person you're not
particularly fond of; or maybe you're rushing for time and it feels like
you're not getting things done like how you'd want to; or perhaps,
you're actually stressed out about something else completely. Only when
you can give a name to what's bothering you, would you be able to deal
with it.
Step 4: Find a way out
When you are able to identify the real cause of your frustration or lack
of patience, you can now look for ways to relieve the stress and
anxiety.
If it's driving that is causing you to go mad, prepare a ‘survival kit'
before going into the car. Get your favourite playlist ready, or try one
of these yoga moves when stuck in traffic. Yes it is possible to do
simple yoga in the car! The key is to distract yourself from the
negative feeling and make the situation favourable for you.
Step 5: Don't lose perspective
Even in the best of efforts, our emotions can still get the best of us.
While you may be able to stick to the previous four steps, you might
feel short-changed and lose your cool. That's alright! Feel what you
have to but keep your perspective.
Figure out if this is really an issue worth putting so much energy into.
If the answer is no, then let it go. If the answer is yes, pull out
from the emotion and put some thought into how best to deal with the
situation without it blowing up in your face. Patience is a virtue
indeed.
With
regard to trusting people, a person may think, 'Is it right to believe
in anything a person says? Is it right to trust everybody?
There are
many people who are not worthy of trust; shall we then trust everybody
in order to develop our trust?'
The answer is yes. Perhaps we will have
failures, but we will only trust another person when we trust ourselves,
when we have faith in ourselves then we will have faith in another.
Without faith in ourselves we can never have faith in another; to have
faith in another is to have faith in ourselves.
It does not matter if
once or twice we are disappointed, but if we are afraid of being
disappointed even once in our lives, perhaps we will doubt all through
life, and so there will never come a time when we will be able to trust
anybody, even ourselves.
A little girl was enjoying the beauty of the garden in
her home. Her father had a good collection of rare and exotic plants. He
grew them with tender care.
The girl was fascinated by a plant full of fine and fragrant flowers.
She went near the plant and enjoyed its beauty and the fragrance of its
fine flowers. Suddenly she noted that the plant was growing in a heap of
filth. She could not tolerate the presence of dirt at the bottom of the
plant with such fantastic flowers.
She conceived a plan to clean the plant. She pulled the plant with all
her might and uprooted it. She then carried it to the tap and washed the
shoot and roots in running tap-water till all traces of dirt were
washed away. She then placed the plant on a clean stone and went away,
thinking that she had done a great deed indeed.
Later her father came to the garden and saw the uprooted plant. Its
flowers and leaves had wilted and the plant had almost died in the
scorching sun. His little daughter ran to him to exhibit her
achievement. “I have cleaned it, Daddy”, she reported innocently. “It
was placed in dirty soil. Now it is clean.”
The father showed her how her treatment had almost killed the plant. He
told her that he had collected the filthy soil and placed it to cover
the plant’s roots as it was the best medium to grow that plant. It could
grow up healthily and produce fine flowers only if grown in filthy
soil. She was sad that the plant had suffered and withered by her
cleaning.
---- ( Pain, poverty and illness may cause agony in our life. Sight of
successful persons may make us depressed and envious. A great gardener
mixes the right soil for each plant. In the same way God provides each
of us with the best environment required for optimum spiritual growth.
But it may appear to be unpleasant to us and we may even complain to God
about our plight.........)
