~ Relationship ~

Relationship .......


It is said that every pot has it's lid. A pot with a wrong fitting lid is not what it could be, nor will it ever be able to be what it could be.

Find the right lid that fits your pot and all the steam will stay inside instead of escaping seeking expression externally to the relationship.

~ Siapa Yang Bodoh ? ~

Manusia memang mudah mengata bodoh kepada yang lain .. tanpa menyedari yang menuduh itulah yang bodoh ...

siapakah yang bodoh ?
Bagiku ........... manusia yang bodoh ialah yang menuruti hawa nafsunya.
Kalau kita mengaku bahawa kita beragama Islam .......insyallah segala apa yang kita hendak lakukan mestilah ada batasannya ...

Amat tidak setuju apabila ada orang mengatakan "follow your heart" atau "just do what you want to do" .......... betul ke itu ?

Mana boleh ........... setiap apa yang kita lakukan kita mesti fikirkan .......... adakah Islam benarkan atau Allah suka atau murka ? .......... kita mesti memikirkan risiko apa yang kita lakukan ... segala hal mesti kita sandarkan dengan Allah dan Islam !

Kenapa sekarang ini terlalu banyak perkara berlaku yang bercanggah dengan Islam dan tatasusila kemanusiaan ........ kenapa ? ...........manusia tidak menggunakan akal yang Allah kurniakan ........ mereka mengikut bisikan rasa hati .......... selalunya bisikan ini ialah dari syaitan .

Kita boleh lihat orang yang mempunyai degree pun boleh buang anak, boleh menipu, mencuri, berzina, dedah aurat dan bermacam-macam lagi ... kenapa ? bodoh ke mereka ? mereka golongan bijak pandai ! ......... tapi mereka letak islam di kaki, bukan di hati ..........

Kalau orang mengatakan kita bodoh .... jangan bertengkar atau ambil hati .... senyum saja ...
bisikkan dalam hati mengatakan ............ dialah yang bodoh !!!

~ It Makes You Stronger ~

It Makes You Stronger ...........



As the years roll by, as the days take their place in time; I stop to look back… look ahead… and look within… a snapshot into my soul.

Looking Back :
It's been said that those who do not learn from their past mistakes are condemned to repeat them. Soberly reflecting, I cast my mind back to the many lessons I had to learn not once, not twice, but several times over, because I simply refused to let go. It gets to a point where you stop running, stop crying, stop lying to yourself - you face reality. It's a struggle at times, but my, my! I look back and realize it does get easier, with each passing day.

It takes me a while to close doors because I believe doors open for a reason, but sometimes we are so bent on keeping that door open, that we fail to see when God closes it and opens another. The ghost of the past can be a lurking shadow chasing our sunrises but with God's help - break that hold! Embrace the dawn of a new morning! It's never easy but you reflect, you accept and you learn…and it makes you stronger.

Looking Ahead :
In finding myself, I discover my future with all its beauty and promise and hope. We cannot change the past but we can shape the future and that's the beautiful thing about life. The rain will fall, the unexpected will occur but it's your attitude about what card life deals you that makes the difference.

Will you see the clouds or the sky? Will you see problems or solutions?

I claim the promises of God in believing that He'll never leave me nor forsake me and trust in the plan He has for my life. I am bound to make mistakes, but I will learn from them; I am bound to go through trials and tribulations but they will make me stronger; I am bound to hurt people dear to me, consciously or unconsciously, but I will ask for forgiveness. The world is my playground and the best is yet to come. Tomorrow is not granted, but my attitude can be and that powerful realization…it makes you stronger.

Looking Within :
Life can be cruel in its harsh reality. I've learned and continue to learn some hard facts. Situations and circumstances have revealed my strengths and also my weaknesses. At the height of good fortune, a human can be vulnerable to misdirection and mistakes. In the rough times, I've learned more about myself than at any other time in my life. I must accept my imperfections and overcome them.

Life also reveals the different shades of human nature. When the lightning strikes and the storms come, the rainbow reveals who your true friends really are. Roses have thorns, people change, and most friendships are fleeting.

Learn to seek happiness alone, love yourself and through that you can truly love others. Forgive, not for the person but for yourself. Let God carry your burdens, sometimes it's just too heavy to carry them all by yourself.

Look within and discover your passions, your soul discover you…it makes you stronger!

~ No Regrets ~

No regrets ..........


A few days more we will welcome 2011 ....... when we looked back, is there anything we can learned ? Of course there is , if we really open our eyes and heart ...

If not because what we have been through, we are not what we are today ...
we became more confident and courageous to lead this life ...


Often we regret and brood about past decisions – what we should or shouldn’t have done. Or we think of what we should now be doing and are not doing, of what we would like to learn, and it makes us uneasy.

We regret misunderstandings – words we wish we hadn’t said, words we wish we had said, mistakes we have made, people we have offended, opportunities gone by, errors and carelessness that could have been avoided, places we might have gone, things we might have been.

The past has its place and is valuable for lessons learned. The present also has its place, and what we cannot change should not now needlessly keep us from looking and moving forward. Nothing lost or left behind should keep us from now becoming what we can become, from learning what we now can learn.

There are new decisions every day, every hour, and reasons to improve and to repent. Whatever we are, wherever we’ve been, each day we have some opportunity to determine direction.

Each day we need to win, or keep – and certainly to deserve – the love of loved ones; each day to be more patient, more pleasant, more understanding. If there have been loved ones neglected, unreconciled differences, unspoken gratitude, unacknowledged debts, we ought to do now what we should do. If there has been within something that has soured us, we well would turn now to sweetening ourselves, for we hurt ourselves as well as others when we live below the level of our possibilities.

Whatever the past or its meaning, or its length, or its losses, or its lessons learned or left unlearned, we go on from where we are – wherever we are – and become what we can become; with work, repentance, improvement; with faith in the future.

~ Feeling Our Words ~

Feeling Our Words ........
(Words Have Weight)


Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or hurt. Most of us can remember a time that someone sent a word our way, and it stuck with us. It may have been the first time we received a truly accurate compliment, or the time a friend or sibling called us a name, but either way it stuck. This experience reminds us that what we say has weight and power and that being conscious means being aware of how we use words.


The more conscious we become, the more we deepen our relationship to the words we use so that we speak from a place of actually feeling what we are saying. We begin to recognize that words are not abstract, disconnected entities used only to convey meaning; they are powerful transmitters of feeling. For the next few days, you might want to practice noticing how the words you say and hear affect your body and your emotional state. Notice how the different communication styles of the people in your life make you feel. Also, watch closely to see how your own words come out and what affect they have on the people around you.


You may notice that when we speak quickly, without thinking, or rush to get our ideas across, our words don't carry the same power as when we speak slowly and confidently, allowing those receiving our words time and space to take them in. When we carefully listen to others before we speak, our words have more integrity, and when we take time to center ourselves before speaking, we truly begin to harness the power of speech. Then our words can be intelligent messengers of healing and light, transmitting deep and positive feelings to those who receive them.

~ Are you in Love or Lust? ~

Are you in Love or Lust? .......


(http://www.therelationshipgym.com/love_or_lust.htm)


It's so difficult to tell. So what do you need to know to ensure you've got it right?
Love or Lust ?

You know how it feels. You probably don't care why it feels that way. You're just loving it. But you do care about not falling for your partner purely because you lust after them.

Lust is integral with the first part of any sound intimate relationship - it's the infatuation (or romance) stage. But maybe you're now questioning, 'Am I really in love with them, or is it just lust?'

The problem you face, if you're asking this question from within that first part of a relationship, is - it's almost impossible to work out the answer once you're in it!

Ideally, you'd have worked out well before you start dating anyone who you need to get with in order to be truly compatible. If you haven't done that then I suggest you need to do it now.
Why is this important?

Because the difference between a relationship that turns into love and one that ends at lust is compatibility.

Lust is all centred around your 'sexual compatibility'. If your partner's face and physique fits your map of what's gorgeous, if they talk, move and communicate in a way that pushes your buttons, then you have lust. And I know how fantastic that feels!

However, if you lack the compatibility on other levels, then when the chemicals start to fade from your body, the lust will disappear and you'll be left with someone who you probably don't even fancy any more and certainly don't love.

Of course, it's possible to fall in love with someone and not be fully compatible - but that's another issue! What I'm really saying is that a relationship that's about lust is almost wholly based around the element of 'sexual compatibility'. And that's not enough for a truly loving relationship.

So what are your options at this point in time?

1. Wait till the lust dies down and see what's left
2. Work out if you're compatible with your current partner

~ Is This Love I’m Feeling? ~

Is This Love I’m Feeling? :



“Love is a serious mental disease.” At least that’s how Plato put it.
And while anyone who’s ever been ‘in love’ might see some truth to this statement, there is a critical mistake made here. Love is not a mental disease. Desire is.

If being ‘in love’ means our lives are in pieces and we are completely broken, miserable, utterly consumed, hardly able to function, and willing to sacrifice everything, chances are it’s not love. Despite what we are taught in popular culture, true love is not supposed to make us like drug addicts.

And so, contrary to what we’ve grown up watching in movies, that type of all-consuming obsession is not love. It goes by a different name. It is hawa—the word used in the Quran to refer to one’s lower, vain desires and lusts. Allah describes the people who blindly follow these desires as those who are most astray:


“But if they answer you not, then know that they only follow their own lusts (hawa). And who is more astray than the one who follows his own lusts, without guidance from Allah?” (28: 50)


By choosing to submit to our hawa over the guidance of Allah, we are choosing to worship those desires. When our love for what we crave is stronger than our love for Allah, we have taken that which we crave as a lord. Allah says:


“Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah, as equal (with Allah): They love them as they should love Allah. But those of Faith are overflowing in their love for Allah.” (2:165)


If our ‘love’ for something makes us willing to give up our family, our dignity, our self-respect, our bodies, our sanity, our peace of mind, our deen, and even our Lord who created us from nothing, know that we are not ‘in love’. We are slaves.

Of such a person Allah says:

“Do you see such a one as takes his own vain desires (hawa) as his lord? Allah has, knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. (45: 23)



Imagine the severity. To have one’s sight, hearing and heart all sealed. Hawa is not pleasure. It is a prison. It is a slavery of the mind, body and soul. It is an addiction and a worship. Beautiful examples of this reality can be found throughout literature. In Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations, Pip exemplifies this point. In describing his obsession with Estella, he says: “I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”

Dickens’ Miss Havisham describes this further: “I’ll tell you…what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter – as I did!”

What Miss Havisham describes here is in fact real. But it is not real love. It is hawa. Real love, as Allah intended it, is not a sickness or an addiction. It is affection and mercy. Allah says in His book:


“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (30: 21)



Real love brings about calm—not inner torment. True love allows you to be at peace with yourself and with God. That is why Allah says: “that you may dwell in tranquility.” Hawa is the opposite. Hawa will make you miserable. And just like a drug, you will crave it always, but never be satisfied. You will chase it to your own detriment, but never reach it. And though you submit your whole self to it, it will never bring you happiness.

So while ultimate happiness is everyone’s goal, it is often difficult to see past the illusions and discern love from hawa. One fail-safe way, is to ask yourself this question: Does getting closer to this person that I ‘love’ bring me closer to—or farther from—Allah? In a sense, has this person replaced Allah in my heart?

True or pure love should never contradict or compete with one’s love for Allah. It should strengthen it. That is why true love is only possible within the boundaries of what Allah has made permissible. Outside of that, it is nothing more than hawa, to which we either submit or reject. We are either slaves to Allah, or slaves to our hawa. It cannot be both.


Only by struggling against false pleasure, can we attain true pleasure. They are by definition mutually exclusive. For that reason, the struggle against our desires is a prerequisite for the attainment of paradise. Allah says:

“But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful] inclination, then indeed, Paradise will be [his] refuge.” (Qur’an, 79: 40-41)

~ Pain, Loss, and the Path to God ~

Pain, Loss, and the Path to God :-




“ When someone beats a rug with a stick, he is not beating the rug – his aim is to get rid of the dust. Your inward is full of dust from the veil of ‘I’-ness, and that dust will not leave all at once. With every cruelty and every blow, it departs little by little from the heart’s face, sometimes in sleep and sometimes in wakefulness.” (Rumi)


So often we experience things in life, and yet never see the connections between them. When we are given a hardship, or feel pain, we often fail to consider that that experience may be the direct cause or result of another action or experience. Sometimes we fail to recognize the direct connection between the pain in our lives and our relationship with Allah (swt).

That pain and adversity serves many purposes in life. Times of hardship can act as both an indication as well as a cure, for our broken relationship with our Creator.

Times of difficulty test our faith, our fortitude and our strength. During these times, the level of our iman becomes manifest. Adversity strips away our masks, revealing the truth behind mere declaration of faith. Hardships separate those whose declaration is true from those who are false.

Allah says:

“ Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tested? But We have certainly tested those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars ” (Qur’an, 29:2-3).


Hardships test us. But hardships can also be a blessing and a sign of Allah’s love. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:


“ Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity ” [Bukhari].


And yet most people cannot fathom how adversity could possibly be good. Many do not recognize that hardship is in fact a purifier, which brings people back to their Lord. What happens to the arrogant who are suddenly put in a situation they cannot control? What happens to a man who finds himself stranded on the ocean in the middle of a storm? What happens when the ship that is ‘unsinkable’ becomes the tale of the Titanic?

These perceived misfortunes are in fact wake up calls. They humble. They shake. They remind us of how small we are, and how Great God is. And in that way they awaken us from the slumber of our deceptions, our heedlessness, our wandering, and bring us back to our Creator. Hardships strip away the veil of comfort from our eyes, and remind us of what we are and where we’re going.

Allah (swt) says:

“…And We tested them with good [times] and bad that perhaps they would return [to obedience]” (Qur’an, 7:168). In another ayah, Allah (swt) explains: “And We sent no Prophet to any town (and they denied him), but We seized its people with suffering from extreme poverty (or loss in wealth) and loss of health and calamities, so that they might humiliate themselves (and repent to Allah)” (Qur’an, 7:94).


This lesson in humility purifies the human soul so much so that Allah (swt) comforts the believers in the Qur’an, assuring them that any pain they encounter is intended to elevate and honor them. He says:



“ If a wound should touch you – there has already touched the [opposing] people a wound similar to it. And these days [of varying conditions] We alternate among the people so that Allah may make evident those who believe and [may] take to Himself from among you martyrs – and Allah does not like the wrongdoers – And that Allah may purify the believers [through trials] and destroy the disbelievers. Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while Allah has not yet made evident those of you who fight in His cause and made evident those who are steadfast? ” (Qur’an, 3:140-142).


It is that very battle to purify the self which is the essence of the upward path to God. It begins with self-sacrifice, and is paved by the sweat of struggle.

It is this path, which God describes when He says:

“Oh mankind! Verily you are ever toiling on towards your Lord – painfully toiling – but you shall meet Him.” (Qur’an, 84:6).

~ A Mother's Heart ~

A mother's heart .....



“A mother's heart is always with her children.” ........ thats what a proverb said ..
and its the truth ...
I waited for my son to come back from work ... he is doing part-time job, beside his office work ... yeah I understand, he wanted to earn extra cash hoping to get married next year, insyallah ..

I heard my son knocking my door and calling my name ......
Ohh ! I had a bad dream and screaming " Yaa Allah " ... thats what my son told me.
He heard me screaming as he entered the house ... astagfirullah hal adzim ! ...
That was such a bad dream .. and I looked at my mobile ... its nearly 3.00 am ..

We had a talk ... heart to heart talk .......
We never got a chance to talk or discuss anything ... coz early in the morning he will be at the office, then after work he goes straight to his part-time job... coming by midnight ... so we never got a chance ...
we talked untill nearly 4.00 am ...
I asked him to go to sleep and dont forget about morning prayer.

My kids such a special gift for me .. truly I'm blessed to have them ..
Thank you Allah .... for giving me such a wonderful kids, who are a good listener and always there when I need them ......

~ The 14 guidance of human life....~

The 14 guidance of human life ....



Life’s greatest enemy is our self

Life’s greatest failure is arrogant

Life’s greatest ignorance is dupe

Life’s greatest sorrow is jealousy

Life’s greatest erroneous is self-abandon

Life’s greatest admiration is choice of advancing

Life’s greatest gratification is alms

Life’s greatest wealth is healthiness

Life’s greatest gift is forgiveness

Life’s greatest pitiable disposition is self-abased

Life’s greatest sin is to deceive oneself

Life’s greatest liabilities is a debt of human sympathy

Life’s greatest imperfection is melancholy wisdom

Life’s greatest insolvent is despair



( http://authspot.com/thoughts/)

~ Less Is More ~

Fear less, hope more;
Eat less, chew more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Hate less, love more
and all good things are yours.......insyallah

~ Emptiness ~

Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah.
And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah
and being true to Him.

And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him
and always remembering Him .

And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.


(Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya )

~ Loneliness and Aloneness ~

Loneliness and Aloneness .........



When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely - and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. Loneliness is a negative state. You are feeling that it would have been better if the other were there - your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband. It would have been good if the other were there, but the other is not. Loneliness is absence of the other.

Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

This has been said again and again, down through the ages. All the religious people have been saying this: "We come alone into this world, we go alone." All togetherness is illusory. The very idea of togetherness arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. We want to drown our aloneness in relationship....That's why we become so much involved in love.

Try to see the point. Ordinarily you think you have fallen in love with a woman or with a man because she is beautiful, he is beautiful. That is not the truth. The truth is just the opposite: you have fallen in love because you cannot be alone. You were going to fall. You were going to avoid yourself somehow or other. And there are people who don't fall in love with women or men--then they fall in love with money. They start moving into money or into a power trip, they become politicians. That too is avoiding your aloneness.

If you watch man, if you watch yourself deeply, you will be surprised--all your activities can be reduced to one single source. The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.

Aloneness .....


Loneliness and aloneness
they are not the same

for the shell of the mind
hears echoes of many seas

it hears the calling of gulls
from this savage sky

and an ebbing tide
lapping the small white stones.

~ The Divine Being.~

The Divine Being .....


If a person goes through his whole life most cleverly judging others, he may go on, but he will find himself to be more foolish at every step. At the end, he reaches the fullness of stupidity. But the one who tries, tests, studies and observes himself, his own attitude in life, his own outlook on life, his thought, speech, and action, who weighs and measures and teaches himself self discipline., it is that person who is able to understand another better. How rarely one sees a soul who concerns himself with himself through life, in order to know! Mostly, every soul seems to be busily occupied with the lives of others. And what do they know in the end? Nothing. If there is a kingdom of God to be found anywhere, it is within oneself.

And it is, therefore, in the knowledge of self that there lies the fulfillment of life. The knowledge of self means the knowledge of one's body, the knowledge of one's mind, the knowledge of one's spirit; the knowledge of the spirit's relation to the body and the relation of the body to the spirit; the knowledge of one's wants and needs, the knowledge of one's virtues and faults; knowing what we desire and how to attain it, what to pursue and what to renounce. And when one dives deep into this, one finds before one a world of knowledge which never ends. And it is that knowledge which gives one insight into human nature and brings one to the knowledge of the whole of creation. And in the end one attains to the knowledge of the divine Being.

~ The Sage ~

The Sage .......



There was a famous sage called, Sadat, who lived high up in the Himalayan Mountains, far away from humanity. He choose a simple life and spent most of his time meditating. People from all over the globe would travel for days on end to meet him and ask for his advice.

Once such a group of people approached sage Sadat with their problems, but they were unruly and fought amongst each other, because all of them wanted to speak first. Sage Sadat, a peaceful man, watched the commotion and finally said out loud, "Silence!"

The people were awe-struck and immediately kept quiet. Then sage Sadat said, "Sit down in a circle on the ground and await my return!"

He went into his little cottage and soon returned with some sheets of paper, pens, and a small cane basket. He passed out the paper and pens, and placed the basket in the middle of the circle. Then he told the people to write down the one most important problem they were troubled by and put it in the basket.

When everyone had finished, the sage shook the papers in the basket so as to mix them and calmly said, "Now pass the basket around and pick up which ever paper is on top. Read the problem and if you choose, make it your own or take back your own problem."

One by one the people picked out a paper and read each other's problems and were horrified. They came to the conclusion that their worst problem no matter how bad, was better than the next person's problem. Within minutes each of them exchanged their problems, and when they finally had their original paper in hand they felt content. They thanked the sage Sadat and went on their way.


Note: All of us have problems which we complain about and think are great, until we realize that someone else's are greater! Right?

~ The Story Of The Talkative Woodcutter ~

The Story Of The Talkative Woodcutter ...

In a far away land lived a certain woodcutter. Every day he chopped wood in a large forest outside his village. At the end of the day he carried the wood back to sell in the village. After twenty years of chopping wood he grew tired of it and one day shouted out loud for all the trees to hear him, "I don't want to do this anymore! I will cut one last load of firewood and then look for the bones of our father Adam, who brought us all this pain and trouble upon us, and burn them up." At that instant, God sent an angel to him in the form of a woman. The angel asked him what he was doing, and the woodcutter replied, " I am searching for the bones of Adam. I want to burn them, because of all the pain and trouble he brought us." The angel said, "What if someone were to free you from all this work and weariness?" Delighted, the woodcutter replied, "I would thank them a thousand times!" So the angel said, "Then I will transport you to a garden where you will never have to work, but you must promise that no matter what you see there, you will not utter a single word." The woodcutter agreed, and the angel clapped her hands together. In a flash, the woodcutter found himself in a beautiful garden filled with tall trees, clear streams, and lots of delicious fruit. After a little while, the woodcutter saw a man cutting wood. He was cutting the live branches from the trees and leaving the dead ones. The woodcutter thought about his promise to the angel, but as he watched the man work, he could not restrain himself from saying, "Mister, don't you know that you should cut the dead branches and leave the live ones?" The man paused and said, "Have you been here long?" The next instant the woodcutter was back near his village with his axe, and he began to wail and beat his breast in anguish. Once again the angel appeared before him and asked what had happened. When the woodcutter told her, the angel said, "Didn't I tell you not to speak?" "I promise I will not say a word if you let me go back," said the woodcutter. So the angel clapped her hands and the woodcutter was back in the heavenly garden. After a little while, the woodcutter saw a gazelle running through the garden and an old man hobbling after it. Without thinking, the woodcutter shouted, "That gazelle is bounding here and there, old man. When will you give up and stop hobbling after it?" The old man stopped and said, "Have you been here long?" The next instant, the woodcutter was back at his woodpile in the thicket outside the village. Again he wailed and moaned, and once more the angel returned. "Please have pity on me," said the woodcutter, "If you give me one more chance, may I be cursed if I speak again." The angel agreed, and in an instant the woodcutter was back in the heavenly garden. Aware of his mistakes, the woodcutter remained silent for three days, but then he saw four men struggling to move the millstone of an oil press. They would all lift the millstone on one side and it would topple over onto the other side. Then they would move to the other side and repeat the same process. The woodcutter thought to himself, "Should I tell them or not? These men are senseless. I have to tell them." So the woodcutter shouted, "Men, if you want to carry that millstone, you should lift it from all sides!" One of the men turned to the woodcutter and said, "Have you been here long?" And the next instant the woodcutter was back at his woodpile. The woodcutter wailed and wailed, and once more the angel appeared in front of him. The woodcutter begged and pleaded to return to the heavenly garden, but the angel said, "Your father Adam only sinned once. You have committed sin upon sin upon sin, so your place shall be here among the firewood until the end of your days." Note: The woodcutter complained about his work and placed the blame on Adam (God's first human creation), but when he was given the opportunity to live a better life, he was made to realize how easy it is to sin. I think there are lots of morals in this tale from Palestine.

~ Trust ~

Trust ........


"..It is mistrust that misleads; sincerity always leads straight to the goal..."


With regard to trusting people, a person may think, 'Is it right to believe in anything a person says? Is it right to trust everybody? There are many people who are not worthy of trust; shall we then trust everybody in order to develop our trust?' The answer is yes. Perhaps we will have failures, but we will only trust another person when we trust ourselves, when we have faith in ourselves then we will have faith in another. Without faith in ourselves we can never have faith in another; to have faith in another is to have faith in ourselves. It does not matter if once or twice we are disappointed, but if we are afraid of being disappointed even once in our lives, perhaps we will doubt all through life, and so there will never come a time when we will be able to trust anybody, even ourselves.
There are many things that can develop our trust. Sometimes an unworthy person can become worthy of trust.


There is a story of a man who was traveling with a caravan through Arabia. Among the travelers were some who had money with them for their expenses. They came to a place where it was said that robbers were likely to be and that everybody should take care of his own purse as many caravans had been robbed in that area. This young man also had some money, but he thought to himself, 'I have no place to keep my money. I will find some man with whom I can leave it. To whom can I give it for safety?' He was wondering if there could be any village or habitation, but he could see only a tent some distance away from where the caravan had come to a halt. So he went and found a man sitting smoking his pipe in the tent. He went up to him and said, 'I do not know you, sir, but I have heard there are robbers here and that many caravans have been robbed, and I am a poor man. I thought I should protect my money, if I could only find someone to whom I could trust it, having found this tent, I feel I should entrust it to you. He left the purse, and returned to the caravan. When he arrived he found that the caravan had been robbed, and all had lost their money. He was very glad he had escaped. They were all moaning and lamenting about their losses. He thought that he at any rate was safe. Then they described the robbers, saying how many of them had come, how many had been there.


He returned to the tent to fetch his money again. He found the same man smoking there, but he was surrounded by many men, for he proved to be the chief of the robbers. The others were all sitting there, fighting and disputing what share each should take, and the chief was helping them to divide their spoil. So the young man was afraid to go nearer; and at the same time could not help thinking how foolish he was not to have kept his money, for while he was bringing it the robbers had come, and so he would have escaped anyway. The others had lost everything, but he had fooled himself. While he was thinking this, and was about to turn away, the chief called out for him to be fetched. He approached the chief trembling, because he believed that now even his life was in danger.


The chief said, 'Why did you come here, why are you turning back?' The young man asked, 'Are you not the head of the robbers? Then why should I not wish to go? What use can it be to come?' The chief answered, 'Man, I received your money to keep; I did not rob you of it. You trusted me. The money is therefore in my trust. Even if I am a robber, I am not dishonest. I gain by robbery, not by breaking trust. You trusted me with your money, and your money is safe. Here it is for you to take back again.' So the young man was delighted, reflecting what a good thing trust is, in as much as one may have faith even in a robber, for he had proved himself trustworthy.


We can see this in our everyday life. A servant, a helper, an assistant, a co-worker, a partner, can be made either trustful or distrustful, trustworthy or unworthy of trust; this we do ourselves by our own faith. How true it is that when faith is beginning to fail, when doubts begin to come, the loss of faith goes on until a person begins to doubt his nearest and dearest friends. Husband can doubt wife; wife can doubt husband, brother can doubt sister; parents can doubt children. One can doubt one's nearest friend, and in the end one doubts oneself. That is the utmost limit; from then on life can be nothing less than torture.

~ Only Two Emotions ~

Only Two Emotions ...........




The two emotions that rule our life…


As spiritual beings one emotion we need to live by is love. All good things come from love. Just as all good comes from love, everything that is bad comes from its opposite. And the opposite of love is not hate but rather fear.

Love gives us trust, honesty, respect, companionship and ultimately peace. While fear gives us resentments, anger, hate and many other negative thoughts. And while we come to believe that there are only two emotions love and its opposite fear, we also learn that the ultimate goal of love is peace.

So if love leads to peace, than its opposite - fear also has a goal. And it’s the direct opposite of peace. Some would say that the opposite of peace is conflict. But I believe it's deeper than that. The opposite of peace is insecurity.

The goal of love is peace, while the goal of fear is insecurity. Think about that. When everything is going well in our world, we are at peace. We are at love with our surroundings and the people in our life. It is a very strong, powerful, and spiritual place to be.

With our fear, we easily fall into the realm of "stinkin' thinkin". We become angry, resentful, bitter, lonely, and all those other negative character defects. We lose our patience with our surroundings and the people around us. And with this fear every one of our character defects raise its ugly heads.

So the next time your angry look at your insecurities. And ask yourself what you are scared of? Remember that anger is just fear turned inside out. Usually the answer will come down to control. Our insecurities and fear all go back to control. We can't control our surroundings. We can't control who we work with or what we do.

It all comes down to two emotions love and fear. If we live our life in love, we are at one with our surroundings and our Higher Power. In other words, we are spiritually centered. If we live our life in fear, it falls into place that we are insecure. And to live a life of insecurity we live a life of spiritual bankruptcy.

That’s it – love and fear.

~ Detached Relationships ~

Detached Relationships .............


In detachment is freedom. Freedom from the bonds of deluding and unrealistic expectations in relationships. To be detached is to let go, not of the person or of the relationship, but of an anxiety-driven desperation to hang on, which eventually demolishes what it frantically wants to preserve. If you cannot rid yourself of the need to cling to someone or something you cannot hold on to it.

It is to be able to enjoy the beauty of a lovely relationship without being caught in its possessive grasp. Possessiveness is a poisoned barb and it vitiates the atmosphere, which a relationship needs to evolve fully. To possess is to be possessed; whereas detachment lets you stand on the sidelines as a spectator while you are still an integral part of a relationship and view it objectively, with love, without the crippling effects of psychological baggage. Jealousy is another impediment to detachment, which is all about choosing an unfettered ambience wherein two people can live joyously and see their love flourish. There is no ownership in a detached relationship.

It is about giving space and finding your own to explore, experience and grow from that experience without judgmental constraints. Whether it is a child/ parent, teacher/student, husband/wife or friend/friend relationship the time invariably comes to let go, to release and be released from emotional insecurities. To be detached is to break out of the gilded cage that at best gives one a false sense of protection. A detached relationship offers one the limitless sky and space to fly in. It entails watching with pride as the object of your affection spreads her wings and takes flight even as you are airborne on your own trajectory. We are all constantly yearning to fly, chart new vistas, explore new horizons and find our own path. We cannot snip someone else wings and hope to fly freely ourselves.

Detachment is not to be confused with separation or an uncaring attitude. Two half people, who cling to each other, who are dependent emotionally and psychologically, who have come together from wants and needs, from negative commonalities, cannot build a wholesome relationship. It is synonymous with building a house from material one would use to simply prop up a crumbling structure, rather than with solid building blocks. They are constructing on shaky foundations, augmenting a dilapidated edifice that is bound to come crumbling down. Such a decayed relationship begs for separation. Detachment on the other hand requires immense love, courage and faith. It is to choose to be whole and complete within yourself and to love another from that totality. A detached involvement in a relationship brings its own reward - a togetherness that only truly free spirits can enjoy.

It is to give another the confidence and the courage to stand alone, making leaning unnecessary for any one. Let go of your clutching, clawing power over another. Emotional control and resultant blackmail are the death knells of a relationship. When one holds the strings and wants the other to respond to the pulls on it, it is puppetry, a sick relationship at the most. A rich, truly fulfilling relationship is one in which each person pulls his own strings. Detachment is to untie the strings by which you unfairly secure another to you and let him attain his full potential as an individual. Let him dance to his tune as you gyrate to yours. If you must dance to the same tune let it be out of choice, not compulsion.

On a different level, detachment is the dance of an exuberant soul. A soul that can shout fearlessly.

~ Healthy Conversation ~

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, great minds talk about ideas; small minds talk about people. What do you and your significant other talk about? If you constantly hit the heavy stuff, you're probably happier than if you spend time gossiping about your neighbors or coworkers.

A recent study published in Psychological Science says that people are happier when they spend more time discussing meaningful topics than engaging in small talk. Seventy-nine college students had their conversations recorded and analyzed by researchers, who distinguished between chit-chat about the food or the weather and discussions about philosophy, education, or religion. Subjects who reported the greatest amount of satisfaction spent only 10 percent of their conversation on small talk, while the unhappiest subjects kept 28.3 percent of their talking time in the shallow end.

Among the scores of substantive topics people discuss, we've come up with nine that we believe couples should relish during heart-to-hearts:

1. Embarrassing moments. If you can't share the awkward, -worthy moments that occurred throughout high school with your partner, who can you tell them to? Don't be afraid to broach the subject, if you haven't already. We wouldn't be surprised if their stories are more horrifying than yours.

2. Political viewpoints. How do you feel about the new healthcare bill? You don't have to agree with each other, but you do need to keep an open mind. A good relationship allows both parties to discuss their own philosophies without taking the opposition personally.

3. Fears and insecurities. By fears, we don't mean your phobia of earthworms. We're talking about things that make you wake up with gray hairs. What worries you? What do you want to improve in yourself? What skeletons are in your closet? In being vulnerable, you risk judgment, but more importantly, you chance being understood.

4. Childhood. Ask your partner what he or she was like as a kid. Did she make friends easily? What kind of games did he like to play? Did he have trouble in school? Childhood memories make for fun conversations, but they can also lend insight into how your main squeeze became the person he or she is today.

5. Past relationships. This is a touchy one because no one wants to hear the person they're with spouting sonnets about an ex. There is, of course, a difference between longing for (or being bitter over) the past and simply acknowledging what happened. With enough practice, seasoned, happy couples learn how to address why past relationships ended without inadvertently comparing their current partner to an old flame.

6. Family life. Knowing a person's upbringing and relationship with his or her parents is paramount to understanding his current attitude toward family. If you're even slightly contemplating a future with this person, it might help to ask how well they get along with their parents. Why does she resent her mother? Why is he closer to his sisters than to his brothers? How does she handle family gatherings?

7. Current events. Thanks to the overflow of information, it's nearly impossible to stay up-to-date on everything going on around us. Here's where teamwork comes into play: Ask your partner about his interests, be they economics or regional politics, and see if you can't learn a thing or two. Who knows, maybe you'll help him develop an interest in international affairs or science news.

8. TV and movies. Compared to politics and personal fears, entertainment might seem pretty shallow, but discussions about movies can fall into the "deep" category if you focus on character motivations and plots rather than on, say, the cute leading actors.

9. The future. Talking about the future can be nerve-wracking. While we're not saying you should pressure your partner into talking about plans for marriage and children, we do believe that you should know their dreams, goals, and aspirations. What is he working toward? What drives her to succeed? Where does he see himself in five years? Someone who desires growth and is not afraid of the unknown is surely dynamic enough to deserve you.


(by : Denise NGO for Tango.com)

Life only gets better..........

Did you ever feel lost, or not in touch with reality.
Is it you? or the people around you!
Sometime you have to ask these questions to keep in touch with your center of perception.

In life we may do horrible things that may effect another individual, not being able to correct them at a later date. But remember it does not take an apology to say your sorry. In life you may cross this person again. Just a simple what’s up! How you have been! Nice to see you! Can say a thousand words.

Sometimes life does not go the way we plan or hope.
We spend hour upon hour dreaming of what life could be, and wishing for things we don’t deserve. If your one of these people maybe its time to let life lead the way instead of trying to tempt your own fate.

I believe that life has many tests. I myself have dealt with many issues to bring me back into reality. But it took strong will and a lot of convincing myself to try to be a better person. You may think that you have it bad, but remember someone always has it worse.

I don’t believe it matters what you did in the past, but what you do in the future that makes the difference. so if life is taking a turn for the worst just remember it is just another chapter in your life, you aint dead! So the book isn’t over, just keep living, and don’t forget to keep the story interesting

~ Turning point ~

Turning point ..........



* Paradox is everywhere: Sometimes the things you think will make you happy end up saddening you and sometimes the very thing that breaks your heart is also the thing that opens it to warmth and gratitude.’*


Life can never be described as predictable and boring. So much can happen in a week, a day, even in a few minutes.
There are so many twists and turns in life. If we are happy with what we’re doing then we should be grateful.
It too can change. Taking for granted what we have, sets up to loose it when we least expect.


It is comforting to know that sadness too has a turning point.
Sadness is not always something negative or to be avoided.
We know that God is very much in touch with our sadness and joy.
Sometimes we have to wait patiently to know when the tide has turned.

~ Allah Has Made Me See Things..~

Allah Has Made Me See Things...............




I see many people that are busy
but it's not a good busy

They talk to fill the air
Never once do they stop and praise Allah.

They think we need to have fun
we only live once

It makes me sad to think
they think I am the strange one

To Allah I belong and to him one day I shall return

~ Still ~

Still..............




Still I fail to medicate myself
Still I continue to devastate myself
By doing what I know to be a sin
Have I been given a guarantee that in the end
I will win?


Just because I'm still alive and have an easy living
Doesn't mean that I've been forgiven.


Yes I'm still alive, but how can I expect to survive
Life in the displeasure of Allah!?


I say I "love Allah", but does Allah love me?
Let's see, just how real is this so-called
"Spirituality" that you profess to possess
But when you're alone you digress and don't confess!


Thought that you could fool 'em with that beard
And that hijab
Not realizing that at your own heart you have
Taken the deepest stab.
Thought that you could fool them with that thaub
And veil over your face!
How dumb you must have looked in front of the One
Who's knowledge, hearing and sight penetrate every place!


Why do you feel so secure that Allah is going to forgive you everytime?
Do you really feel secure as you drive home from
The scene of your crime?


How do you know the wrath and punishment of Allah
Isn't waiting for you around the corner?
Don't you know that the Angel of Death strikes without A warner?!


How long do I think I have to make things right?
By Allah! If I knew the reality of my sins,
I couldn't sleep at night!
Afraid of closing my eyes from fear of dying in my sleep!
Only to wake up in a grave so dark, lonely and deep!



-Who's your Lord? my own desires...
-Who's your Prophet? my own desires...
-What's your religion? following my own desires...
-Well welcome to the Fire! -Welcome to the fire!!
What an awful place to retire!

~ Why We Shout, When In Anger ~

Why we shout, when in anger............


A saint who was visiting a river to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. They may end up in divorce courts, for instance.'

~ Three Words ~

Three Words And Their Special Effects!!

• LET ME HELP - Good people/friends do this when they see someone hurt and jump to help. They are sure winners.
  
  
• I UNDERSTAND YOU - A powerful tool for healing any relationship and become closer.
  
  
• I RESPECT YOU - Another way of showing love in all interpersonal relationship.
  
  
• I MISS YOU - This powerful affirmation tells the other person that they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.
  
  
• YOU ARE RIGHT - Best effective in diffusing arguments.
  
  
• PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Heals and restores broken relationships.
  
  
• I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy.
  
  
• COUNT ON ME - Loyalty is a special ingredient in any relationship.
  
  
• I'LL BE THERE - A great gift to give for a relationship in need for renewing love and friendship.
  
  
• GO FOR IT - Best way of supporting and encouraging the other person's dreams and desires.

AND THE BONUS

• I LOVE YOU - The most important three words which cover all the above

~ Character ~

The Roots of Violence:



Wealth without work,
Pleasure without conscience,
Knowledge without character,
Commerce without morality,
Science without humanity,
Worship without sacrifice,
Politics without principles.

~ Be Silent ~

"........Contain your experience with the divine
so that it does not escape you, but rather shapes you.


Be silent.


Silence will help you avoid engaging in the games of competition and illusion
that regularly seduce us in the outside world.


Silence also helps you avoid distraction.
It helps focus the busy mind -
the mind that always has to be doing something, thinking something,
the mind that always has to be otherwise engaged
lest it become introspective and allow the soul's voice to override its own.


These silence is a silence that you use
to contain the grace you receive , when you enter the Castle of your soul.
This quality of silence allows you to engage in discernment.


You carry this silence within you, even when you are with others.
It allows you to hold your center amid the chaos of your life;
it keeps you clear so that you do not do or say things you will regret
or make decisions out of fear........ "

~ A Friend ~

".........To know someone here or there
with whom you can feel
there is understanding
in spite of distances or
thoughts expressed
That can make life a garden....."

~ The Creator ~

The Creator .........

Intellectual Accomplishments Of Imam Ja’far As-Sadiq (a.s)

The knowledgeable status of Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s) had earned such fame that people used to visit him from far-off places. He had many discussions and debates with unbelievers, polytheists, apostates and heretics. If all these were to be collected they would constitute a voluminous book.

////////////////////////////////////////////

Debate With An Atheist:
Juad Ibne Dirham, a leader of atheist sect had kept some mud and water in a glass bottle. After some days worms grew in it and he claimed to be their creator. One day he came to Imam (a.s) and also claimed thus. Imam (a.s) said, “If you are their creator, tell us how many of them are male and how many female?” He said, “I don’t know.” Imam said, “If you can’t do that, command the worms going one way to crawl in the opposite direction.” He said, “I cannot do it.” Imam said, “All right, then tell us what is the weight of each of them?” He replied, “I do not know.” Imam said, “When neither you have any knowledge about them, nor any control over them, then how can you be their creator?”

////////////////////////////////////////////

Question Of Abu Shakir Disani :
Abu Shakir Disani who denied the existence of God told Hisham, a companion of the Imam, “There is a verse in Quran that is according to our belief and which goes against your faith.” Hisham asked, “Which verse is that?” He replied,

And He it is Who is God in the heavens and God in the earth…( Surah Zukhruf 43:84)

This according to him clearly showed that there are different gods for the earth and the heavens. Since Hisham had not pondered on this verse, he remained silent. When he came to Medina, he mentioned it to Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s) who said, “If he says to you now, you ask him what his name is. He would tell you. Then ask him what his name is in Basra? He would mention the same name. At that time you tell him: Our God is also like that. He is God in the heavens and also God on the earth. He is God in the sea and on the land, in the plains and on the hill.” Hisham did as bidden. Abu Shakir said, “It is not your reply, it has come loaded on the camels from Hijaz.”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////

Another Debate With Abu Shakir:
One day Abu Shakir came to the Imam and said, “Prove to me the existence of God.” Imam (a.s) told him to be seated. At that time a boy passed by holding a hen’s egg. Imam (a.s) called him, and taking the egg from him kept it on his palm. Then he told Abu Shakir, “See, it is such a strong fort that has no doors. On its outside is a hard skin and below it is a thin membrane, inside which flow two seas of gold and silver. But neither can the yellow mix with the white nor the white can merge with the yellow. Neither can a repairer enter it nor a destroyer comes out of it. No one can even know whether the newborn would be a male or a female. Then all of a sudden it cracks and a beautiful chick emerges from it. Can your reason agree that all this happened without a designer or a maker?” Hearing this Abu Shakir bowed down his head and said, “I repent for my beliefs today and accept the religion of Islam.”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Debate With An Egyptian Atheist:
One day an atheist from Egypt came to Imam (a.s) who asked his name. “Abdul Malik,” replied he. Imam (a.s) asked what his agnomen was. “Abu Abdullah,” he replied.

Imam: The kingdom whose slave you are, is it from the kingdom of the heavens or from the kingdoms of the earth?

Atheist: I have never reflected on it.

Imam: Have you ever gone below the earth’s surface?

Atheist: No.

Imam: Do you know what is below it?

Atheist: I have no knowledge of it.

Imam: Have you ever ascended to the sky?

Atheist: No.

Imam: Do you know what exists there?

Atheist: No.

Imam: Have you visited east and west? Do you know what lies beyond the limits?

Atheist: No.

Imam: It is surprising that when you do not have any knowledge about the earth or the sky, the east or west, how can you deny the existence of God? How can an ignorant man make such a great claim? Just ponder upon it; the moon, the sun, the night and the day, which all move in a particular way, are they not helpless and captive in their orbits? If they had not been so, they would not have returned after passing away once. If they are not helpless, why is it not that sometimes there is night instead of day? Don’t you ever reflect on the earth and the sky that why the sky does not crash on the earth? Why the earth does not sink below itself? Who has made them stable? One who has done this is our and their absolute powerful God.” Hearing these words, he was astonished and at that very moment recited the dual testimony of Islamic faith and became a Muslim.

~ Love Never Dies ~

When Nazi did the holocaust in Germany by burying alive the Jews, there also spread a story of undying love. A mother and her daughter happened to be captured as well, soon to be buried alive together along with the other thousands of Jews. The little girl did not understand and had no idea at all what was going to happen to her and her mother. She just kept playing and singing out her innocent heart.

After being tired of playing around, the little girl returned back to the camp. She was not able to find her mother any longer. In her innocent world, she still have not understand yet what was death, even more of what dying a horrible tragic death was. She waited and waited, when is her dear mother going to come back. In her wait, she had persistent faith that mom would surely returned, so that she would be able to hear again her lullaby.

The next day was supposed to be her turn. She faced all that fully with her innocent heart till she reach the hole of where she was going to be buried. When she was about to be dragged to the hole, her soft voice said to the muscular soldier in charge, "Mister, please don't put me in too deep ok, just put me in near the surface, so that when mommy comes, she will still see me waiting for her here.

---

Love is undying. Violence, brutality can only bury and destroy the body, but it cannot towards love. Love never dies.